Change is painful - really

[andviv]

I've read this article months ago and wanted to share it here.

The point that caught my eye was that change is painful. I mean, real pain is produced in the brain and that explains why sometimes changing something hurts.

I think it is very important to understand this so you are better prepared to face what is coming when you start making changes in your life. You don't need to be afraid of change, just learn what you are facing and how to handle it. Although the article was written with a company mindset, the study provides a great insight on what happens in our brains when we face changes.

I hope you enjoy this article.

some quotes:

Change hurts. Not the boo-hoo, woe-is-me kind of hurt that executives tend to dismiss as an affliction of the weak and sentimental, but actual physical and psychological discomfort. And the brain pictures prove it.
...
But resistance to change is not ineluctable. The prefrontal cortex has its limitations, but it is also capable of insight and self-control. It’s what makes us human—the ability to be aware of our habitual impulses and do something about them.
...
Once people have had that initial insight or epiphany that change is necessary, they need to repeat the experience in order to reinforce it and to experience the potential pleasure that can be derived from it. The complex brain connections that are formed during the epiphany phase need to be supported to begin the process of hard-wiring the basal ganglia.
...
"Learning is the antidote to change resistance," says Wakefield. "Learning lets you reframe the change from being something bad for you to something that can have value for you."

 

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[Runum]

Thanks Andres. I always thought that my kids were in pain when we were learning math.:coolgleamA: ++++speed

 

[rxcknrxll]

Thanks for posting. This is good stuff. Has anyone read Emotional Intelligence? I'm currently reading it and am finding it very insightful. If you read it I think you will find, as I do, that it relates very well to this topic. Making change is important sometimes but our brain can literally stop us if we don't learn how to observe and control what's going on up there.

It's also why it's so important to pick a good spouse (if you want to even get married that is) and surround yourself with high quality people. Different types of people have different thresholds of change and adaptation that they are capable of. It's true, I believe, that some people just aren't capable of certain things...say building a successful business or becoming a competent investor or living a lifestyle that supports those kinds of goals.

 

[andviv]

I think what struck me the most was that this same topic is mentioned several times by Anthony Robbins. He has a technique for HOW to change and make the process effective. After reading this article both concepts kind of "clicked" in my mind.
I now see why is important to start convincing yourself of what is good and what is not good for you.
For example, I'm changing my diet as my goal is to reach my ideal weight and have a better, healthier lifestyle. There are some foods that I like but are not good for me (Papa John's Pizza!). If I want to change this I have to stop seeing this type of food as "delicious" and start thinking of its consequences. So, by changing what I am focusing on I change my behavior. But this is only effective if I really believe that I must change. Very interesting indeed.

I can see why kids agonize about learning a "complicated" subject. If the reason to learn it is to pass/fail and the chances of failing are higher than the chances of passing then there is stress related to the process. I wonder what the results would be if they learn math by applying it to the topics they care about (for example, what if we teach them the math related to create a video game? or the way compound interest works by relating that to some of those MTV shows... I dunno, something they relate to, instead of an abstract concept that is "boring"). The article related to this as having an Epiphany. Just ask questions and let them come to the expected result, the need to change or learn something new.

I haven't read Emotional Intelligence yet. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

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[rxcknrxll]

"...inspiring others to change isn’t a matter of charisma or charm, say the experts. It’s finding a way to spark those epiphanies."

this quote from the article will likely only make sense if you read the whole article, but I think it's an absolute pearl of wisdom. We think of effective leaders as being guys like Tony Robbins, but some of the people who've affected the most profound changes in my life have been humble, unassuming yet very wise people. I didn't know what hit me. That's real leadership; you don't have to wear a $2000 suit to be a leader.

 

[MsMoney]

For example, I'm changing my diet as my goal is to reach my ideal weight and have a better, healthier lifestyle. There are some foods that I like but are not good for me (Papa John's Pizza!). If I want to change this I have to stop seeing this type of food as "delicious" and start thinking of its consequences. So, by changing what I am focusing on I change my behavior. But this is only effective if I really believe that I must change. Very interesting indeed.

Thanks for that example, Andviv! I am going to use it....I have so many changes going on for me right now, that sometimes I think my head is going to pop! I'm also going to look for that book, Emotional Intelligence! rep++ :fastlane:

 

[rxcknrxll]

I can see why kids agonize about learning a "complicated" subject. If the reason to learn it is to pass/fail and the chances of failing are higher than the chances of passing then there is stress related to the process. I wonder what the results would be if they learn math by applying it to the topics they care about (for example, what if we teach them the math related to create a video game? or the way compound interest works by relating that to some of those MTV shows...

It's funny because in my experience that's what good teachers do; they relate to their students, find the value and make it interesting. It kills me when I see adults *admit* that calculus doesn't relate to real life or that you're never going to really need what you learned in history class. That's bull. EVERYTHING you learn in school has weight and value. It does matter, and educating yourself improves the quality of your life. What's fun when you're an adult is that you can pick your own subjects and study what you want

 

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[headmic]

My favorite part about the article is presenting the problem to those it will affect in question form to brainstorm possible solutions. I have always felt that forcing change was the wrong route to pursue considering a human's inability to efficiently break long held habits. It lacks patience and doesn't allow the individual to envision him or herself partaking in such new practices.

This also reminded me of Randy Pausch's last lecture. Although he discussed his journey and aspirations, the true purpose of it was a memoir for his children on how to live out their dreams. The strategy he used and mentioned was called a "headfake," of which he would teach one idea you could easily relate to with the underlying purpose of indirectly teaching you another idea that is perhaps less captivating but necessary for their fruition. By doing this he enabled his viewers to come to the idea or have an epiphany instead of applying it by force.

"You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself."
~Galileo Galilei

 

[yveskleinsky]

I can see why kids agonize about learning a "complicated" subject. If the reason to learn it is to pass/fail and the chances of failing are higher than the chances of passing then there is stress related to the process. I wonder what the results would be if they learn math by applying it to the topics they care about (for example, what if we teach them the math related to create a video game? or the way compound interest works by relating that to some of those MTV shows... I dunno, something they relate to, instead of an abstract concept that is "boring"). The article related to this as having an Epiphany. Just ask questions and let them come to the expected result, the need to change or learn something new.

I completely agree with you! Your statement is at the crux of the tug-of-war in most schools. Do teachers alter the curriculum to meet the student, or demand that students confirm to set standards? Most teachers have classes that are too big to even hope to figure out how each of their students learn.

Personally, I'm on the fence when it comes to our educational system, because I think there is value in "suffering through" a boring subject. Life doesn't always present material in fun, flashy ways. Kids need to be learn how to extract the "meat" of a subject without the subject always being entertaining. Granted, how much more interesting would it be to learn Math as it pertains to P-Diddy's ROI on a new product he launched v. Sarah and John and on two trains. Train A left the depot at 10:20am, and train B left at 9:45am. If both trains....blah, blah, blah.