- Thread starter
- #331
Never forget the things people say to - or about - you when your life seems to be falling apart, or you're down on your luck.
I had a very rough week. Things are in a transition, and I got a concerned criticism from my parents, especially my dad, about how I go about life.
To be honest, I haven't done ANYTHING wrong when it comes to my jobs. I'm not fired because I have an attitude, or share too much of my personal business. To the contrary, people think I'm quiet and in my own world. Or that I don't speak. While I have a tendency to strive for the best, I don't try to outperform anyone, but I was given a speech about how I need to fix my credit, dumb myself down and not give people reasons to fire me.
I haven't been fired recently. I was laid off - with 90% of the other coworkers - months ago. When I got fired, it wasn't because I failed to do my job, management sucked. I am very good friends with damn near all the managers from previous jobs where I was cool and a hard worker at.
But somehow I was told that I have an attitude, I have to watch what I say, I can't tell people my plans or my business, and I can't try to come in and share all my creative ideas and outdo my management, and I need to dumb down. By my parents.
That has nothing to do with what's currently going on with my life, or what has been going on with my life. It triggers me deeply when people want to tell me how I'm doing everything wrong because I'm going through something, and I need guidance or help.
All of what I was lectured on hasn't even been applicable for over 5 years. You know how I got the gig I'm transitioning too? Because my former employers told them how F*cking awesome and dependable and hardworking I was. And because the manager was my customer at my (almost) former position and ENJOYED my service.
I feel so F*cking alone, and I ended up sobbing in the back at my job. I was miserable and in tears because I essentially felt I was being told how I have my whole life f*cked up and that really is not the case. For the life of me, I want to be normal sometimes, but I don't think it's just meant for me. I'm experiencing a situational depression again... and all I can do is get these feels out the way so I can write and keep it moving.
I don't trust anyone's company but my own anymore and my company will always come first.
It's always darkest before the dawn, and while my dad and mom mean well, I see that after I pay them back, I have to keep them and everyone else out of my life and sacrifice even more than I have before because there are only about 4 people in the world who even understand me anymore.
*goes to play The Weeknd while I iron out my "f*cked up" life*
I had a very rough week. Things are in a transition, and I got a concerned criticism from my parents, especially my dad, about how I go about life.
To be honest, I haven't done ANYTHING wrong when it comes to my jobs. I'm not fired because I have an attitude, or share too much of my personal business. To the contrary, people think I'm quiet and in my own world. Or that I don't speak. While I have a tendency to strive for the best, I don't try to outperform anyone, but I was given a speech about how I need to fix my credit, dumb myself down and not give people reasons to fire me.
I haven't been fired recently. I was laid off - with 90% of the other coworkers - months ago. When I got fired, it wasn't because I failed to do my job, management sucked. I am very good friends with damn near all the managers from previous jobs where I was cool and a hard worker at.
But somehow I was told that I have an attitude, I have to watch what I say, I can't tell people my plans or my business, and I can't try to come in and share all my creative ideas and outdo my management, and I need to dumb down. By my parents.
That has nothing to do with what's currently going on with my life, or what has been going on with my life. It triggers me deeply when people want to tell me how I'm doing everything wrong because I'm going through something, and I need guidance or help.
All of what I was lectured on hasn't even been applicable for over 5 years. You know how I got the gig I'm transitioning too? Because my former employers told them how F*cking awesome and dependable and hardworking I was. And because the manager was my customer at my (almost) former position and ENJOYED my service.
I feel so F*cking alone, and I ended up sobbing in the back at my job. I was miserable and in tears because I essentially felt I was being told how I have my whole life f*cked up and that really is not the case. For the life of me, I want to be normal sometimes, but I don't think it's just meant for me. I'm experiencing a situational depression again... and all I can do is get these feels out the way so I can write and keep it moving.
I don't trust anyone's company but my own anymore and my company will always come first.
It's always darkest before the dawn, and while my dad and mom mean well, I see that after I pay them back, I have to keep them and everyone else out of my life and sacrifice even more than I have before because there are only about 4 people in the world who even understand me anymore.
*goes to play The Weeknd while I iron out my "f*cked up" life*
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