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- Jun 3, 2015
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Excellent post, thanks! It does sound like a good idea to hang out with other students who are doing different things, basically all my friends also study computer science haha Might be a bit tricky with workload being so high currently but I will do my best.
I might sound a bit stupid asking this but any tips how to actually do it? It's pretty difficult for me to just go up to someone and start a conversation as I'm the introverted sort and I hate the parties and socials
First of all, having friends who all study computer science, is better than having friends who all smoke dope while watching Rick n Morty reruns! I mean, I'm a fan, but there's more to life right?
No stupid questions on here, just stupid answers!
This is what I always tell people who say they're shy and introverted:
Like any skills, social skills take practice. Even people who you would consider outwardly confident have their own hangups, however they practice in dealing with them.
OK, so first things first, you need to get into a habit of talking to people. The best way to do that is to approach someone that you probably wouldn't normally choose as a friend and compliment them. Just anyone, random stranger, it doesn't matter.
Tell them they have nice shoes or a great haircut, or whatever. It will feel uncomfortable for all of 2 seconds, then they'll smile, and you'll both walk away feeling great.
Just don't make it a pretty member of the opposite sex. In fact make it someone much older than you that you are definitely not attracted to, this will take off the subconscious pressure you feel to make people like you (we all have that).
Next, start random conversations with people. The homeless are best to do this with. Next time you see some poor soul sitting in a doorway just trying to raise a few bucks, go over, give him a dollar or whatever you feel is right, and ask him his story. Show some empathy towards him and just listen to what he has to say.
Again, you won't feel the subconscious social pressure to impress him, and once more you will walk away having made someone visibly happier, simply from talking to them.
The more you do this, the more natural it will feel to you, until one day you are on campus and you see someone interesting and before you know it, you're gassing away.
People like talking about themselves, I do, you do, everyone does. Therefore by talking to random strangers, you are practising the skill of listening, the more you listen, the more you can feedback, the more it seems like the most normal thing in the world.
Big thing to remember is not to take anything personally. Maybe you see an elderly man at the bus stop and tell him you like his suit or something. He looks at you strangely because he's freaked a stranger is talking to him. That's fine, just smile broadly and get on with your day, no drama.
I have done this myself, and it is a rewarding feeling, and slightly addictive too. Before long you'll be actively seeking out people that you don't know, to talk to.
Just remember, opportunity and value, you are in the perfect position to find one, and provide the other.
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