How does one not feel empty?

[Europe19]

idk how this thread turned into an argument about whether depression is real or not,

but I'm fine.

I've been doing 2-4 mile runs at a beautiful park every day for the past week, and it feels great.

I just needed to get out there and start doing stuff.

I don't think I was burnt out or depressed or whatever. I think I was just lazy and people were right about me being on social media too much cause I was and kinda still am.

Its hard to break cause I've just grown up constantly stimulated, but I'll figure it out.

Other than that, thanks everybody

To anyone relating to the original post.

Just go out there and do stuff. Go on a run, push yourself, make content, sell, whatever.

Theres no point in thinking about it too much, cause you just don't have data to make a good decision. So the best course of action is to just do and figure it out later.

I'm realizing that feelings are also very misleading. Just cause I feel a certain way like feeling "empty" doesn't mean I don't want something. I think this is what people meant by purpose.

Cause even though I may feel "empty," I still have a long list of reasons to keep working and achieve my goals.

So I'm not gonna make judgements based on my short-term feelings and instead make judgements on my logical understanding of what I want out of life. And theres a LOT I want out of life.

Also, I figured out one thing for sure, EVERYTHING I want from life, comes from winning. And winning comes from doing, so ima jus focus on that.

(side note, i personally think life is meaningless so im gonna choose whatever meaning I want, and my meaning right now is to just win and help others)

I too have some kind of your mentioned Symptoms, I have very enthusiastic Phases were I feel just like Superman, or like I am on heavy Drugs...

BUT then it crashes... and im down for months.. and then the cycle continues

I have these Phases since I got 14 and didn't found a solution yet. But it has nothing to do with Social Media for me, which I personally despise (excluding Youtube because it has a lot of High-Quality Videos which can't be produced in 30 Seconds like in Tiktok).
This is very correlated with the (from the Person) assigned Meaning of Life I think, because since 14 I came into this Existential Hole...
If it's really pathologic, it's called "Hypomania".
I can't yet say more about it, but if you think life is meaningless then I have something for you:
“The fact that life has no meaning is a reason to live --moreover, the only one.”
― E. M. Cioran (one of my favourite Philosophers, but don't look at him if you want to be happy)

 

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[JaaYu]

I don't think you're headed on a bad trajectory or anything, by any means.

Just make sure to look at this rationally.

The reason you've felt empty is not because you don't believe there is a purpose to life, that has much less to do with it than a lot of "believers" would think...

At the base level, it's extremely simple: every feeling you experience is a neurotransmitter.

When you are running high on neurotransmitters, you wake up "feeling" like you want to kick some a$$.

As a MAN, you are built for achievement, and your body has these neurotransmitters such that you are literally a biological achievement MACHINE.

As a younger man, if you aren't CHOMPING AT THE BIT to get started on your to-do list every day, there's something wrong.

It's probably not your T levels dropping, which will happen as you go into your 30s and 40s, that leaves us with the conclusion that something you're doing is depleting neurotransmitters and leaving you empty.

Getting off social media is a decent suggestion because they do deplete some neurotransmitters like dopamine and feed you cheap rewards for doing practically nothing.

But there are many, many neurochemicals at play including norepinephrine (the body's endogenous meth) and endorphins that, if properly balanced, should do a lot to keep you away from social media anyways.

Social media doesn't release many endorphins or norepinephrine, if any at all.

But regardless, the truth is you should wake up every day STRAINING AT THE REINS to achieve what you need to achieve for the day - and this should NEVER stop.

People will say that's not practical, but "people" are very bad at taking care of themselves, very prone to overdoing it, and they don't how to replenish their neurochemicals every day with proper physiological and psychological recovery techniques.

Continuing to "push" yourself when you don't feel like it is a good way to build some grit - which, don't get me wrong, you will need in order to succeed - AND it is also a great way to squeeze the last drops from your adrenal glands and hit a wall of fatigue sooner or later...

Or, at best, drag along the bottom, scraping the barrel each day.

Take care to replenish your neurochemicals through an ongoing anti-burnout practice and you can maintain high energy, exceptional motivation, and peak performance for YEARS.

Previous post has a lot of info but what's really important? HRV, being aware of burnout triggers (there is actual scientific research done on those, which culminated in burnout being labeled as a syndrome and not just a symptom by the WHO in 2022), and techniques for lowering allostatic load, including hormetic stressors.

You WILL need to contend with this if you hope to become a hard-driving WINNER in life; it is better to manage your high performance and be aware of these skills now, rather than depleting your neurochemicals and continuing to push through until you hit adrenal fatigue, which can take one to two years to recover from.

Tldr; the "feelings" you have been missing are not cosmic in nature - they are neurochemicals, which as a younger man you should have in high supply on a daily basis, ongoing continuously for YEARS. Take on neurochemical replenishing strategies now to avoid future complications.

What would be an actionable step / routine for anti-burnout and having a high supply for years?

What would be things I should do, and shouldn't do?

What should be my expectations on trying these practices?

I'm curious to try whatever you say out and decide on my own.

It would be great to feel motivated all the time and never be burnt out, but I have low expectations.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

It's simple: take care of yourself. What you're experiencing is burnout.

And before you think: "burnout? But I'm not working that hard, blah blah..."

Burnout is actually physical and mental, characterized by cynicism, loss of purpose, and lack of drive.

There are 6 burnout triggers, they are:

- Lack of control: you feel like you don't have control over your life, you're floating aimlessly

- Values conflict: you feel like what you are doing clashes with your values. This can be in your own endeavors or in your job.

- Insufficient reward: you're working your a$$ off, and not feeling like you're getting what you need to get from it to justify the effort.

- Work overload: simple enough, your biology is drained, your neurochemicals are shot, you need more recovery in your life

- Unfairness: Someone or something else is getting more rewards than you for the same or less work, life is unfair, wanting to change the way the world works because things aren't fair.

- Breakdown of Community: feeling like the people you're working with, your friends, family, etc no longer support you, or there is resentment or antagonism on your part or others'

And before someone says half of these are mindsets, yes you are right. Unfairness and insufficient reward can be changed by a mindset shift. That does NOT mean that they didn't trigger the burnout.

Isolate the trigger, then resolve it through assertiveness, pulling back, changing the way you look at something... Basically just focus on the biggest problem of these you see until it's gone, and you'll likely feel 1M times better when you're done.

Here are some things that help:

1. Choose the right kind of hard

Counters insufficient reward. Output flatlines. Studying the wrong domain. Misalignment with strengths. The pursuit is extrinsically motivated.

Playing to your strengths and interests. An ROI on difficulty, getting lots of reward. Fueled by intrinsic motivation. Hard work feels effortless, gains momentums. Most of the challenge is going from good to great, not shitty to OK. Pick a hard that hooks you.

2. Don't stay too close to the line

Redlining, squeezing the last drop of productivity out of every moment. Hit the wall. Lose all your momentum. The allostatic load limit = burnout. Simplest tasks are exhausting.

Dialing back the game, running at 80% intensity. Don't cross the invisible line = don't let your motivation evaporate. Consistency trumps intensity every time. Train @ 80%.

Track your daily capacity at a scale of 1 to 10, at the limit. When you're near your limit, dial it back and focus on consistency. HRV can help guage capacity.

3. When you see a hill, sprint

Sometimes, leaning in is the solution. You can sometimes work yourself out of burnout. If you're feeling overwhelmed by a hefty workload but you're getting mediocre, average results...

Don't fall for the wrong kind of hard - create traction to get past insufficient reward. Get the results. See the traction. Success blunts the burnout. Dopamine = focused attention, more wins.

Give yourself a limited timeline. When you see a hill, sprint.

4. Disarm burnout triggers

Rank the triggers by the highest risk, solve the issues systematically.

Lack of control =focus your control on the smallest part of your work you can completely own

Work Overload = take time off, active recovery, physiologically buffer yourself

Insufficient Rewards = gain more, ask for more recognition, appreciation, sacrifice less

Unfairness = asymmetric comparisons, consider the full context, address unfairness directly

Values Conflict = pin down values, consider a new role, negotiate a transfer

Breakdown Community = Sync frequently, share victories, get together more often

5. Build Burnout Body Armor

Burnout proofing your body and mind through active recovery. Not just time off, but active recovery.

Use hermetic stressors - jack up your heart rate in the moment, then result in a dropping over time, with HRV elevating afterwards. Hermetic stressors lessen impact of burnout.

When your nervous system is too overtaxed to respond to meditation or a walk in nature, Jack up your system to above max, parasympathetic rebound takes you back down to 2nd gear, a receptive state. Sauna, ice bath, no cognitive room to worry about burnout.

Cold induced thermogenesis, heat therapy, exercise, massage & myofacial release

Strong first post.

 

[JaaYu]

It's simple: take care of yourself. What you're experiencing is burnout.

And before you think: "burnout? But I'm not working that hard, blah blah..."

Burnout is actually physical and mental, characterized by cynicism, loss of purpose, and lack of drive.

There are 6 burnout triggers, they are:

- Lack of control: you feel like you don't have control over your life, you're floating aimlessly

- Values conflict: you feel like what you are doing clashes with your values. This can be in your own endeavors or in your job.

- Insufficient reward: you're working your a$$ off, and not feeling like you're getting what you need to get from it to justify the effort.

- Work overload: simple enough, your biology is drained, your neurochemicals are shot, you need more recovery in your life

- Unfairness: Someone or something else is getting more rewards than you for the same or less work, life is unfair, wanting to change the way the world works because things aren't fair.

- Breakdown of Community: feeling like the people you're working with, your friends, family, etc no longer support you, or there is resentment or antagonism on your part or others'

And before someone says half of these are mindsets, yes you are right. Unfairness and insufficient reward can be changed by a mindset shift. That does NOT mean that they didn't trigger the burnout.

Isolate the trigger, then resolve it through assertiveness, pulling back, changing the way you look at something... Basically just focus on the biggest problem of these you see until it's gone, and you'll likely feel 1M times better when you're done.

Here are some things that help:

1. Choose the right kind of hard

Counters insufficient reward. Output flatlines. Studying the wrong domain. Misalignment with strengths. The pursuit is extrinsically motivated.

Playing to your strengths and interests. An ROI on difficulty, getting lots of reward. Fueled by intrinsic motivation. Hard work feels effortless, gains momentums. Most of the challenge is going from good to great, not shitty to OK. Pick a hard that hooks you.

2. Don't stay too close to the line

Redlining, squeezing the last drop of productivity out of every moment. Hit the wall. Lose all your momentum. The allostatic load limit = burnout. Simplest tasks are exhausting.

Dialing back the game, running at 80% intensity. Don't cross the invisible line = don't let your motivation evaporate. Consistency trumps intensity every time. Train @ 80%.

Track your daily capacity at a scale of 1 to 10, at the limit. When you're near your limit, dial it back and focus on consistency. HRV can help guage capacity.

3. When you see a hill, sprint

Sometimes, leaning in is the solution. You can sometimes work yourself out of burnout. If you're feeling overwhelmed by a hefty workload but you're getting mediocre, average results...

Don't fall for the wrong kind of hard - create traction to get past insufficient reward. Get the results. See the traction. Success blunts the burnout. Dopamine = focused attention, more wins.

Give yourself a limited timeline. When you see a hill, sprint.

4. Disarm burnout triggers

Rank the triggers by the highest risk, solve the issues systematically.

Lack of control =focus your control on the smallest part of your work you can completely own

Work Overload = take time off, active recovery, physiologically buffer yourself

Insufficient Rewards = gain more, ask for more recognition, appreciation, sacrifice less

Unfairness = asymmetric comparisons, consider the full context, address unfairness directly

Values Conflict = pin down values, consider a new role, negotiate a transfer

Breakdown Community = Sync frequently, share victories, get together more often

5. Build Burnout Body Armor

Burnout proofing your body and mind through active recovery. Not just time off, but active recovery.

Use hermetic stressors - jack up your heart rate in the moment, then result in a dropping over time, with HRV elevating afterwards. Hermetic stressors lessen impact of burnout.

When your nervous system is too overtaxed to respond to meditation or a walk in nature, Jack up your system to above max, parasympathetic rebound takes you back down to 2nd gear, a receptive state. Sauna, ice bath, no cognitive room to worry about burnout.

Cold induced thermogenesis, heat therapy, exercise, massage & myofacial release

Didn't read this, my fault.

This pretty much answers my last post.

Thanks for the help, I'll be sure to try it.

Its actually crazy insightful, makes sense.

I would pay for this information lol.

Lack of control is definitely my biggest issue, and maybe work overload cause I'm trying to go from 0 to 100 very quickly.

I think the working at 80% will definitely help cause I always try to do 100% and I never do it consistently. I just hate inefficiency, but the 80% is probably right, then maybe I can bump it up to 100% once 80% becomes my new baseline.

 

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