This thread is about shysters. A shyster is a person who uses unscrupulous methods in business. As some of you know, my company grew rapidly over the past 18 months. We do engineering, project management, and fabrication in the energy (oil and gas mostly) sector. As a result, I've gotten a lot of shysters who come sniffing around trying to make a buck. Please add your own shyster experiences. My hope is that some readers will get better more quickly at spotting these cancers on the business world. I know my shyster radar has gotten really good this past few years!
Now, without further ado, the shysters:
The Wing-flapper - I call them wing-flappers because their strategy seems to be to flap their arms fast enough to take off and fly. They are masters of deception, spinning a yarn and pretending to have big clients, big projects, and big capabilities, when in reality they are just an a**hole with a laptop. They are phonies, hoping they can generate enough buzz to suddenly "make it."
The tell: Wing-flappers are easy to spot because they talk a $50mm game, but when you dig deeper, you realize they don't have the capability to do $5k worth of actual work. Their website passes a glance inspection, but a deep dive reveals that it is just a shell of marketing on top of thin air. Another big tell is when they are done regaling you with their $50mm vision, and they don't have the money for a $250k study (an engineering study of this magnitude is typical in my industry to get funding). "Let me get with my money people." Yup, you guessed it, BROKE.
The Buyout Seeker - These people have a thriving business to sell you. It would be a great addition to your business. The problem is that they don't have an actual business. They have a consulting firm of one person. Their business is a cell phone, essentially.
The tell: When you ask for any kind of substance, such as financial reports, or a proposed strategy, you get a deer in the headlights look. They are often approaching retirement age and are looking for a liquidity event. I actually had one of these Buyout Seekers inadvertently admit to me that she was wanting to leave a legacy for her kids by having somebody buy her company. This happened because I let her talk for 3 hours straight. I normally am more jealous of my time, but I figured this would be a great learning experience on shysters, and it was. I finally cut the meeting off when she appeared to be suffering physiological distress from having spoken for 3 hours without pause.
The Sales God - This shyster could sell ice to an Eskimo! Salary, commission, whatever you want. They make tons of money and that's why their current employer/partner/owner etc hates them! They are trying to get on your company's tit, basically. A way to smoke these losers out is to say something like "Well, before we talk about $60 million in revenue, why don't you deliver us one Request for Quote, and we'll pay you a handsome commission, that we both parties can see if it's a good fit."
The tell: Phrases such as "I could make a couple phone calls and have $xxxxx projects!" "I could fill this shop up!" "You better start hiring now" The more sophisticated ones will actually be ready when you say "Ok, make the phone call right now then." But don't be fooled, it's smoke and mirrors.
The Project Dangler - They dangle massive opportunities in front of you, but first you have to do this one little thing, and that thing, and that. Essentially they are trying to get reduced price work done, or free engineering from you. There is some overlap between this shyster and the wing-flapper, but they are not the same. The Project Dangler has real capabilities and business, but they are leading you on.
The tell: The tell is simple, they ask you to do crap work you wouldn't otherwise do in hopes it will lead to a big big project. Real companies will not do this.
What shysters have you dealt with?
Now, without further ado, the shysters:
The Wing-flapper - I call them wing-flappers because their strategy seems to be to flap their arms fast enough to take off and fly. They are masters of deception, spinning a yarn and pretending to have big clients, big projects, and big capabilities, when in reality they are just an a**hole with a laptop. They are phonies, hoping they can generate enough buzz to suddenly "make it."
The tell: Wing-flappers are easy to spot because they talk a $50mm game, but when you dig deeper, you realize they don't have the capability to do $5k worth of actual work. Their website passes a glance inspection, but a deep dive reveals that it is just a shell of marketing on top of thin air. Another big tell is when they are done regaling you with their $50mm vision, and they don't have the money for a $250k study (an engineering study of this magnitude is typical in my industry to get funding). "Let me get with my money people." Yup, you guessed it, BROKE.
The Buyout Seeker - These people have a thriving business to sell you. It would be a great addition to your business. The problem is that they don't have an actual business. They have a consulting firm of one person. Their business is a cell phone, essentially.
The tell: When you ask for any kind of substance, such as financial reports, or a proposed strategy, you get a deer in the headlights look. They are often approaching retirement age and are looking for a liquidity event. I actually had one of these Buyout Seekers inadvertently admit to me that she was wanting to leave a legacy for her kids by having somebody buy her company. This happened because I let her talk for 3 hours straight. I normally am more jealous of my time, but I figured this would be a great learning experience on shysters, and it was. I finally cut the meeting off when she appeared to be suffering physiological distress from having spoken for 3 hours without pause.
The Sales God - This shyster could sell ice to an Eskimo! Salary, commission, whatever you want. They make tons of money and that's why their current employer/partner/owner etc hates them! They are trying to get on your company's tit, basically. A way to smoke these losers out is to say something like "Well, before we talk about $60 million in revenue, why don't you deliver us one Request for Quote, and we'll pay you a handsome commission, that we both parties can see if it's a good fit."
The tell: Phrases such as "I could make a couple phone calls and have $xxxxx projects!" "I could fill this shop up!" "You better start hiring now" The more sophisticated ones will actually be ready when you say "Ok, make the phone call right now then." But don't be fooled, it's smoke and mirrors.
The Project Dangler - They dangle massive opportunities in front of you, but first you have to do this one little thing, and that thing, and that. Essentially they are trying to get reduced price work done, or free engineering from you. There is some overlap between this shyster and the wing-flapper, but they are not the same. The Project Dangler has real capabilities and business, but they are leading you on.
The tell: The tell is simple, they ask you to do crap work you wouldn't otherwise do in hopes it will lead to a big big project. Real companies will not do this.
What shysters have you dealt with?
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