DerringtonJ

Hey guys,
I am feeling strong levels of anxiety right now so thats the place I'm going to write from.
The only thing I know about myself is that for years I always felt like something was wrong with me for feeling like the way I was taught to live life is not the way it is supposed to be. I dropped out of college because i didn't want to be there anymore and it didn't feel like where I was supposed to be. I have worked hard and held multiple jobs to get by for the past 10 years (I'm 30+). I have nothing to show for it and now I reside in a room in my fathers basement. I refuse to go back to work another job and this has me at odds with my family and girlfriend because they want to see me make money now. I know my actions are selfish and irresponsible but working a job has not proven fruitful and I would rather risk being kicked out of my fathers house and left for dead than start another job.
I am strategizing daily on different ways to earn and I have a few ideas however I am having a hard time diving in and this is why I'm on the forum. I have nothing to lose but I still feel scared. I don't currently learn fast enough to make actionable impact.
I'm just a humble guy with big ideas seeking ways to accomplish greatness.
(I didn't share this for pity and I make no excuses for bringing myself to this state. This is my current situation therefore it is currently who I am and not who I intended to be. Help me with advice and Stay tuned for the growth. {I guess I feel the need to explain myself because of some weird inner guilt. This will change too.})