27 and Battling My Existential Anxiety as I Head to my 30s

[agility]

Greetings,

My name is Sunny, and I am lurking from New Zealand. I was exposed to MJ DeMarco and Unscripted in 2019, and the book is incredibly life-affirming.

I had the conventional milestones back in 2017 - 2019: A career job, moved out of my parents, was in a long-term relationship, and went on extensive vacations overseas. Despite experiencing this, I went through a quarter life crisis. I was emotionally exhausted. Burnt out. It didn't satisfy me. The burn out was so bad I just lost it all and mentally checked out. There was a day where my body just woke up with paralysis that I couldn't move with sheer willpower.

I think I was numbing myself, and coping with the dissappointment in myself, of not achieving financial autonomy on my own terms and means. Following the script was just rejecting myself and potential.

I've always been a rebellious spirit when I was kid, but I buried it with comfort pleasures and faux safety nets. I realised I will continue being miserable conforming to the rat race consumer-employee mindset, and rejecting the parts of me that seek freedom and autonomy.

So the conventional script checklist has failed to satisfy me, even if being grateful didn't sway away that nagging dissatisfaction.

Now that I'm heading to my 30s, I am starting my work towards milestones and lifestyle that is more meaningful to me, and not follow the script hellhole born out of exploitation and fear and false promises of security.

I would rather cry trying to get autonomy on my own means, than cry in regret. I'm figuring out how to be the digital creative that I'm destined to be. I look forward to learning everyones journey and life lessons here.

 

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[ygtrhos]

Jimmu fafi gostvmz, duphsevamevoupt up uqipoph zuastimg aq ecuav vjiti vjopht.

O en 33, gsun Vasliz epf O jewi siedjif xjisi O xepvif vu ci xovj 16-17 emsiefz: e dusqusevi kuc op e matjz gostv xusmf duapvsz epf e davi cmupfi hosmgsoipf. O en xjev vjiz demm tnemm cuashiutoi.

O en puv wisz iyqisoipdif ecuav uwisdunoph iyotvipvoem qsucmint cav gsun xjev O uctiswi gsun qiuqmi xovj jahi gamgomnipv op mogi iwip ot vjev iyotvipvoem epyoivz (o.i. xjev en O fuoph siemmz xovj nz mogi, ot ov xusvj ov) ot upmz tunivjoph zua dep tomipdi nusi, puv dunqmivimz raoiv ov.

Ov ot nusi moli e sigmiy, e wisz gapfenipvem vzqi ug qeop vjev zua dep upmz emmiwoevi wisz nadj cav puv dunqmivimz hiv sof ug ov. (ov xuamf ci qsucecmz iwumavoupesomz dupsefodvusz)

O xuamf muwi vu ci qsuwip xsuph ecuav vjot.

Tu, O xuamf sevjis tii vji xjumi qeop et e tohpem vu dussidv tunivjoph, sevjis vjep cevvmoph xovj ov. Vjev xuamf mief vu eddiqvepdi.

Eddiqvepdi ot puv sitohpevoup us tassipfis. Zua dep emxezt tviis op vji sohjv fosidvoup.