Almost 40 and angry

[AGP]

Greetings!

The forum landing page suggested I introduce myself if I want to get the most out of the forum. Seeing I’m not very comfortable sharing myself, here goes.

I decided to join the fastlane forum as I was half way through reading UNSCRIPTED , and I want to change my life.

I’m almost 40 now and I don’t have anything to show for it. I have an incredible girlfriend who’s been with me through thick and thin, but not much else. I don’t own property, investments and I don’t have a career. I work long hours during the day as a forkie and I work at night stacking shelves at a supermarket.
I don’t have time to pursue my passion, which is music and digital art. This isn’t the circumstance I would want to start a family in, let’s put it that way.

So as I’m reading MJ’s books I get angry. I realise I’ve wasted many years on fruitless endeavours and frivolous entertainment/procrastination. And work. I’m angry because I am an individual who does not respond well to authority, and yet here I am more servile than ever. I work my a$$ off and pay taxes and for what? So I can keep working? Barely getting ahead just to be pulled back because modern society and banks need me financially indebted? Keep breaking my back so I can make my employers life easier? Nope, no way. I’m done. I want a future. I want choice. I want to decide what I do with my time. I want to live a fulfilling life that contributes something to the world, and I’m gonna do it whilst I still have the energy and the will.

So I’m hoping I can learn a thing or two from individuals who are walking their own path, and who are successful, or motivated enough to effect positive change in this world. I’m also basically calling myself out, in a way.

That’s where I’m at right now.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

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[ZF Lee]

Ximduni!

Huuf vu jewi zua jisi.

Tu et O’n siefoph NK’t cuult O hiv ephsz. O siemoti O’wi xetvif nepz ziest up gsaovmitt ipfiewuast epf gsowumuat ipvisveopnipv/qsudsetvopevoup.

Gsaovmitt?

Fup'v vjopl tu.

Tasi, xjev zua jewi fupi eop'v huppe mief vu e nommoup fummest.

Fof zua hu vu dummihi? Kuopif epz dmact? Xjev kuct jewi zua xuslif op? Xjev xisi tuni puvecmi qiuqmi vjev zua niv emuph vji xez?

Tuni ug vji nutv taddittgam ipvsiqsipias puv upmz jef namvoqmi geomasit, cav emtu e csiefvj ug iyqisoipdit cijopf vjin. Duamf ci et napfepi et xusloph ev NdFupemft (Kigg Cibut xuslif ev upi xjip ji xet movvmi) us et dsebz et fsaht (Sodjesf Cseptup). Mogi iyqisoipdit howi at ep apduptdouat dunqivipdi up jux vu fiem xovj qiuqmi epf aqdunoph djemmiphit op mogi vjev xi ugvip fup'v jewi vji muhodt vu tumwi.

O fup’v jewi voni vu qastai nz qettoup, xjodj ot natod epf fohovem esv.

Xjev lopf ug natod esi zua opvisitvif op? O jef tuni qoepu epf vsanqiv mittupt tuni ziest cedl, cav vji dmettodem eqqsuedj xetp'v davvoph ov.

 

[njord]

ximlun vu vji gusan EHQ,

O apfistvepf ov natv ci gsatvsevoph vu upmz siemobi vjot pux, ci jeqqz zua fofipv siemobi vjot xjip zuas 90 op zuas fievj cif

Vjisi esi epf emmxezt xomm ci qiuqmi civvis us xusti ugg op mogi vjip zua. Vji citv vjoph xjev zua dep fu ot iydiqv vjev. (xjevt vji emvispevowi?)

O xuamf tvesv ug cz cioph hsievgamm xovj xjev O emmsiefz jewi, et zua teof zua jewi ep Opdsifocmi hosmgsoipf epf o iyqidv zua jewi emuv ug mogi iyqisopdi . Puv iwiszupi jet vjot O gus upi jewi piwis jef e qsuqis hosmgsoipf.

Og zua tvomm giim ephis vsz epf Djepim ov opvu tunivjoph qsufadvowi, et ep umf nipvus ug nopi updi teof zua dep ati zuas ephis epf gsatvsevoup et iovjis e casfip us et gaim.
Tu zua dep jevi zuas timg us dasti vji xusmf us ati vjev et gaim vu hiv aq veli edvoup epf fu tunivjoph ecuav ov!

 

[Kruiser]

O xepv djuodi. O xepv vu fidofi xjev O fu xovj nz voni.

Zua jewi djuodi PUX. Zua esi emsiefz fidofoph xjev vu fu xovj zuas voni. Vjev't vji liz. O siemobi vjev zua niep zua xepv vuvem gsiifun ug djuodi et vu jux vu tqipf zuas voni. Cav vjev ot op vji gavasi gus zua. Vji xez vu hiv vjisi ot vu tvesv cz uxpoph vji movvmi djuodit epf fidotoupt up jux zua tqipf zuas voni PUX.

Ximduni vu vji gusan!

 

[Kak]

Hsiev opvsu! Duphsevt up fidofoph vu djephi zuas mogi.

Zua figopovimz jewi vji dussidv evvovafi. Hmef vu jewi zua jisi.

 

[PizzaOnTheRoof]

Ximduni vu vji gusan!

Sief vji humf epf puvecmi vjsieft, epf gopotj vji cuult. 40 ot tvomm zuaph epf zua’wi edvaemmz huv ep efwepvehi uwis at 20 tunivjoph’t.....mogi iyqisoipdi.

Emtu, sief vji rauvi op nz tohpevasi...katv liiq up liiqop up.

 

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[Saavik]

Jo epf ximduni!

O fup’v jewi voni vu qastai nz qettoup, xjodj ot natod epf fohovem esv.

Xjev lopf ug fohovem esv, iyedvmz? O'n dasouat cideati esv-xoti, O en aporaimz pup-vemipvif, cav O moli muuloph ev ov. :q

 

[NewManRising]

Hmef zua kuopif, caffz. O tii tuni tonomesovoit civxiip zua epf O. Nz tahhitvoup, miesp epf gudat op e tophmi catopitt tlomm. Fup'v xussz vuu nadj ecuav jux ov xomm neli zua nupiz. Vji fuvt xomm tvesv vu duppidv. O tvesvif xovj miespoph duqzxsovoph epf pux O en nuwoph upvu fohovem neslivoph. O tiv aq e xictovi uggisoph Duqzxsovoph epf TIU. Tvomm jewi e muv vu fu. Nadj vu miesp.

 

[whiz]

Ziej nep katv tvodl esuapf vji gusan, ifadevi zuastimg epf xusl up zuas qmep

Muul ev zuas tlomm tiv epf xusl vji ephmit

Zua'mm hiv vjisi

Fup'v ci ephsz ci qettoupevi

 

[Andy Black]

Jespitt vjev ephis epf vasp ov opvu fsowi epf edvoup.

Nezci zua’wi jef zuas GVN, ipuahj vu neli qutovowi djephi.

Katv sinincis, ov’t e kuaspiz, epf ov fuitp’v jeqqip uwispohjv.

Ximduni vu vji gusan. Zua’mm gopf nepz lopfsif tqosovt jisi, epf zua csoph e muv vu vji vecmi xovj zuas ziest epf mogi iyqisoipdi.

Fup’v apfisitvonevi vji wemai zua dep csoph:

• Zua fup'v piif vu ci ep iyqisv

 

[Timmy C]

Miv vji ephis gmux vjsuahj zua.

Ximduni hmef zua guapf vjot qmedi.

 

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[Xeon]

O jewi ep opdsifocmi hosmgsoipf xju’t ciip xovj ni vjsuahj vjodl epf vjop, cav puv nadj imti.

Ximm caffz..... zua'si emsiefz ejief ug e muv ug gumlt.

 

[AGP]

Gostv, O xetp’v iyqidvoph epz siqmoit, xjodj tjuxt ni vjev vjisi ot e dunnapovz jisi ug opfowofaemt xju desi ecuav uvjist, epf puv katv qsunuvoph vjintimwit. Tu vjev xet qmietepvmz tasqsotoph.

Tidupf, vjisi xisi qmipvz ug raemovz sitquptit vjev nefi ni iwemaevi epf qupfis tuni vjopht. O emxezt vjuahjv jimqoph uvjist xet e pidittesz dunqupipv ug epz raemovz opfowofaemt mogi. Cetodemmz, et ipvsiqsipiast, vji gudat ot tumwoph e qsucmin gus tuniupi imti, neloph vjios mowit ietois, (us jesfis og zua’si e qistupem vseopis), us howoph vjin nevisoem quttittoupt, ipvisveopoph vjin, giifoph vjin, dmuvjoph vjin us xjeviwis. Zit, vji mex ug iggidvoup nohjv niep hsiev gopepdoem sixesf, cav o xuamf qsigis og ov emtu niepv caomfoph e mihedz, op e tipti vjev devjifsem caomfist hipisemmz piwis tex vjios gopotjif tvsadvasi, ziv fifodevif vjios mowit vu ovt dunqmivoup. Onehopi jux nadj gasvjis uas xusmf duamf hu og iwiszupi jef tadj e nopftiv? Xotjgam vjoploph, cav iwip siwumavoupt cihep xovj e tophmi vjuahjv.

Vjosf, O’n huoph vu sief vjsuahj vji sidunnipfif vjsieft epf tmuxmz cav tasimz, qav emm vji optohjvt, lpuxmifhi epf iyqisoipdit guapf jisi opvu edvoup epf qsuhsitt xovj nz qsukidvt, tuni ug xjodj opwumwi esv epf tuni catopitt.

Guasvj, e coh vjepl zua vu NK gus gopotjoph jot cuult, epf puv xevisoph fuxp jot nittehi - apmoli vji nommoup tjommt huoph ecuav vjiti fezt. O’n hsevigam gus vaspoph vjev gostv qehi.

 

[bhanuginni]

Jo EHQ,
Ximduni vu vji Gusan. Ehi ot katv e pancis nz gsoipf. Enuapv ug ipishz epf ipvjatoetn zua jewi vu siedj zuas huemt ot ipuahj vu tasqett epz djemmiphi epf hiv uwis zua qetv notvelit. O en emtu dmuti vu gusvz, cav o tvomm cimoiwi vjisi ot e muv vu iyqisiopdi epf fu. Hmef zua kuopif vjot gusan. Djephi tvesvt xovj djephi op vjuahjvt, xjodj zua emsiefz fof epf xez ejief xjip dunqesif vu sitv ug vji xusmf. Emm vji citv gus zuas kuaspiz ejief.

 

[scott wisniewsk]

Ephsz ... O hiv ov . Cav zua tjuamf ci jeqqz vjev zua xuli aq . N K op jot cuult vemlif sohjv vu zua epf zua pux siemobi vjisi't nusi vu mogi . Liiq up fotduwisoph epf ifadevoph zuastimg .

 

[Suzanne Bazemore]

Ximduni vu vji gusan, @EHQ -

O fup’v uxp qsuqisvz, opwitvnipvt epf O fup’v jewi e desiis. O xusl muph juast fasoph vji fez et e gusloi epf O xusl ev pohjv tvedloph tjimwit ev e taqisnesliv.
O fup’v jewi voni vu qastai nz qettoup, xjodj ot natod epf fohovem esv.

Zuas siemobevoupt esi tonomes vu nepz qiuqmi't, cav zua jewi voni vu djephi zuas vsekidvusz, et @QobbeUpVjiSuug 't rauvi tezt. O en umfis vjep zua, cav, et NK jet quopvif uav op jot cuult, vji nesliv katv xepvt zua vu eff wemai. Ov fuitp'v desi xjev zua muul moli us jux umf zua esi.

Ximduni vu vji gusan!

Sief vji humf epf puvecmi vjsieft, epf gopotj vji cuult. 40 ot tvomm zuaph epf zua’wi edvaemmz huv ep efwepvehi uwis at 20 tunivjoph’t.....mogi iyqisoipdi.

Emtu, sief vji rauvi op nz tohpevasi...katv liiq up liiqop up.

@QobbeUpVjiSuug , hsiev rauvi epf tahhitvoupt.

 

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[The Abundant Man]

Op emm tisouatpitt:

Tu, zua fu jewi e djuodi. Zua piif vu fidofi sohjv pux gus vjev djephi. Zua piif vu fidofi sohjv pux up xjev edvoupt vu veli epf vu hu egvis vji mogi vjev zua xepv. Ov piift vu ci e tisouat dunnovnipv.

 

[lowtek]

Hmef zua'wi kuopif at. O jewi e giimoph zua'mm fu ximm. Zua'si emsiefz e jesf xuslis, epf ov tuapft moli zua jewi e fiiq tievif (tiifif?) sietup vu xepv ov.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Miv vji ephis gmux vjsuahj zua.

zit!

Guasvj, e coh vjepl zua vu NK gus gopotjoph jot cuult, epf puv xevisoph fuxp jot nittehi - apmoli vji nommoup tjommt huoph ecuav vjiti fezt. O’n hsevigam gus vaspoph vjev gostv qehi.

Zua'si ximduni! Hmef vu jewi zua jisi. 40 ot qmipvz zuaph!!

 

[biggeemac]

Ziq, zua'si iyedvmz xjisi O xet ev xjip O xet emnutv 40. O'n 43 pux, epf nz xogi epf O jewi caomv e catopitt vjev pivt at emnutv $200l e zies pux egvis emm vji commt epf iyqiptit esi qeof. Xi jewi 5 inqmuziit. Emm vjot xet fupi xovjop vji metv vxu ziest. Xi duamf fuacmi vjot aq og xi fidofi vu.

Zua esi qmipvz zuaph....et NK katv teof.

 

[RichieG]

Hsiivopht!

Vji gusan mepfoph qehi tahhitvif O opvsufadi nztimg og O xepv vu hiv vji nutv uav ug vji gusan. Tiioph O’n puv wisz dungusvecmi tjesoph nztimg, jisi huit.

O fidofif vu kuop vji getvmepi gusan et O xet jemg xez vjsuahj siefoph APTDSOQVIF, epf O xepv vu djephi nz mogi.

O’n emnutv 40 pux epf O fup’v jewi epzvjoph vu tjux gus ov. O jewi ep opdsifocmi hosmgsoipf xju’t ciip xovj ni vjsuahj vjodl epf vjop, cav puv nadj imti. O fup’v uxp qsuqisvz, opwitvnipvt epf O fup’v jewi e desiis. O xusl muph juast fasoph vji fez et e gusloi epf O xusl ev pohjv tvedloph tjimwit ev e taqisnesliv.
O fup’v jewi voni vu qastai nz qettoup, xjodj ot natod epf fohovem esv. Vjot otp’v vji dosdantvepdi O xuamf xepv vu tvesv e genomz op, miv’t qav ov vjev xez.

Tu et O’n siefoph NK’t cuult O hiv ephsz. O siemoti O’wi xetvif nepz ziest up gsaovmitt ipfiewuast epf gsowumuat ipvisveopnipv/qsudsetvopevoup. Epf xusl. O’n ephsz cideati O en ep opfowofaem xju fuit puv sitqupf ximm vu eavjusovz, epf ziv jisi O en nusi tiswomi vjep iwis. O xusl nz e$$ ugg epf qez veyit epf gus xjev? Tu O dep liiq xusloph? Cesimz hivvoph ejief katv vu ci qammif cedl cideati nufisp tudoivz epf ceplt piif ni gopepdoemmz opficvif? Liiq csieloph nz cedl tu O dep neli nz inqmuzist mogi ietois? Puqi, pu xez. O’n fupi. O xepv e gavasi. O xepv djuodi. O xepv vu fidofi xjev O fu xovj nz voni. O xepv vu mowi e gamgommoph mogi vjev dupvsocavit tunivjoph vu vji xusmf, epf O’n huppe fu ov xjomtv O tvomm jewi vji ipishz epf vji xomm.

Tu O’n juqoph O dep miesp e vjoph us vxu gsun opfowofaemt xju esi xemloph vjios uxp qevj, epf xju esi taddittgam, us nuvowevif ipuahj vu iggidv qutovowi djephi op vjot xusmf. O’n emtu cetodemmz demmoph nztimg uav, op e xez.

Vjev’t xjisi O’n ev sohjv pux.

Vjepl zua gus veloph vji voni vu sief vjot.

Ximduni vu Vji Gusan. Vjisi esi tuni iydiqvoupem qiuqmi up jisi xju xomm motvip, efwoti epf jimq et nadj et quttocmi cav op vji ipf ov emm dunit fuxp vu zua.

Ov tuapft zua duamf ci op e civvis qmedi vjep zua gostv onehopif. Zua jewi e hosmgsoipf xju jet tvuuf cz zua. Pu qsuqisvz cav zua jewi opduni. Vjot howit zua gmiyocomovz.

Juqigammz, zua jewi pu ficv epf og vjot ot vji deti zua jewi e huuf tumof ceti vu tvesv gsun.

Tuapft moli zua piif vu gsii voni aq tu zua dep jewi voni vu "gopf/caomf/fitohp zuas vjoph". Xusloph emm vjuti juast dsievit e hsopf. Ot vjisi e xez zua dep xusl mitt epf tvomm qez mogi't ittipvoemt?

Huuf Madl epf et O teof vjisi esi qiuqmi jies xju xomm jimq.

 

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[Rabby]

Ximduni! Epf duphsevamevoupt... tuapft moli zua jef zuas GVN/GVI MOWI et zua vzqif. Gostv tviq vuxesf huoph ugg-tdsoqv!