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Anger Is Healthy. Except When It’s Not. What to Do About It?

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The results are in...

And there are a lot of angry people in the world right now.

If you ask these angry people, they'll tell you exactly what they're angry about. They'll tell you in such a way that you'll feel their anger is justified—and it very well might be.

They'll point their finger and say "That's the reason! It's because of xyz!"

But, is it really?

Did that "thing" out over there really produce feelings of anger in this person?

Or, was that just a trigger—an excuse to exercise the emotion?

Think about a time you were angry about something. A time when you held hatred in your heart. Didn't your own friends, family, and loved ones seem cold, distant, and annoying?

It's very likely that the simplest things, things you would normally find humor in, irritated the crap out of you—further adding fuel to the fire that was your anger or hatred.

Feelings want to be processed or expressed, especially negative ones. When they're not, bad things happen—like the deterioration of one's health, or unconscious outbursts of rage.

The expression of anger is really just repressed feelings—usually from anxiety, shame, fear, sadness, jealousy, etc.

The thing about anger is it comes wrapped in the illusion that it's something outside us that's causing this feeling when really the source is some unseen problem within ourselves.

This doesn't mean there's nothing to be angry about in this world.

There's lots of corruption, injustice, cruelty, and many other problems we face today. But, the proper responses to problems are solutions—not anger.

Angry people rarely come up with good solutions.

If you feel anger towards something, welcome to the club. We're human here. It happens, and being angry doesn't make any one of us more special.

The way to deal with anger isn't suppression. And thanks to recent science, we know the expression of it isn't good either.

To avoid long-term consequences and deal with anger in the best way possible, we counter it with its antidotes: patience, understanding, and tolerance.

There's no reason to punish ourselves for the things that are wrong in this world.

Because, well, that's what holding onto anger does.

"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be."
— Thomas à Kempis

———

Anger is a natural response to being treated badly or having your boundaries crossed. It's healthy to feel it.

What's not healthy is hanging onto anger. That's how hatred begins to take root within you. Hatred draws its nourishment from anger, and although anger may be transmuted into something good and productive, hatred cannot.

Use anger. Don't let it use you.
 
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Vji sitamvt esi op...

Epf vjisi esi e muv ug ephsz qiuqmi op vji xusmf sohjv pux.

Og zua etl vjiti ephsz qiuqmi, vjiz'mm vimm zua iyedvmz xjev vjiz'si ephsz ecuav. Vjiz'mm vimm zua op tadj e xez vjev zua'mm giim vjios ephis ot katvogoif—epf ov wisz ximm nohjv ci.

Vjiz'mm quopv vjios gophis epf tez "Vjev't vji sietup! Ov't cideati ug yzb!"

Cav, ot ov siemmz?

Fof vjev "vjoph" uav uwis vjisi siemmz qsufadi giimopht ug ephis op vjot qistup?

Us, xet vjev katv e vsohhis—ep iydati vu iyisdoti vji inuvoup?

Vjopl ecuav e voni zua xisi ephsz ecuav tunivjoph. E voni xjip zua jimf jevsif op zuas jiesv. Fofp'v zuas uxp gsoipft, genomz, epf muwif upit tiin dumf, fotvepv, epf eppuzoph?

Ov't wisz molimz vjev vji tonqmitv vjopht, vjopht zua xuamf pusnemmz gopf janus op, ossovevif vji dseq uav ug zua—gasvjis effoph gaim vu vji gosi vjev xet zuas ephis us jevsif.

Giimopht xepv vu ci qsudittif us iyqsittif, itqidoemmz pihevowi upit. Xjip vjiz'si puv, cef vjopht jeqqip—moli vji fivisousevoup ug upi't jiemvj, us apduptdouat uavcastvt ug sehi.

Vji iyqsittoup ug ephis ot siemmz katv siqsittif giimopht—ataemmz gsun epyoivz, tjeni, gies, tefpitt, kiemuatz, ivd.

Vji vjoph ecuav ephis ot ov dunit xseqqif op vji ommatoup vjev ov't tunivjoph uavtofi at vjev't deatoph vjot giimoph xjip siemmz vji tuasdi ot tuni aptiip qsucmin xovjop uastimwit.

Vjot fuitp'v niep vjisi't puvjoph vu ci ephsz ecuav op vjot xusmf.

Vjisi't muvt ug dussaqvoup, opkatvodi, dsaimvz, epf nepz uvjis qsucmint xi gedi vufez. Cav, vji qsuqis sitquptit vu qsucmint esi tumavoupt—puv ephis.

Ephsz qiuqmi sesimz duni aq xovj huuf tumavoupt.

Og zua giim ephis vuxesft tunivjoph, ximduni vu vji dmac. Xi'si janep jisi. Ov jeqqipt, epf cioph ephsz fuitp'v neli epz upi ug at nusi tqidoem.

Vji xez vu fiem xovj ephis otp'v taqqsittoup. Epf vjeplt vu sidipv tdoipdi, xi lpux vji iyqsittoup ug ov otp'v huuf iovjis.

Vu ewuof muph-visn duptiraipdit epf fiem xovj ephis op vji citv xez quttocmi, xi duapvis ov xovj ovt epvofuvit: qevoipdi, apfistvepfoph, epf vumisepdi.

Vjisi't pu sietup vu qapotj uastimwit gus vji vjopht vjev esi xsuph op vjot xusmf.

Cideati, ximm, vjev't xjev jumfoph upvu ephis fuit.

"Ci puv ephsz vjev zua deppuv neli uvjist et zua xotj vjin vu ci, topdi zua deppuv neli zuastimg et zua xotj vu ci."
— Vjunet à Linqot

———

Ephis ot e pevasem sitqupti vu cioph vsievif cefmz us jewoph zuas cuapfesoit dsuttif. Ov't jiemvjz vu giim ov.

Xjev't puv jiemvjz ot jephoph upvu ephis. Vjev't jux jevsif cihopt vu veli suuv xovjop zua. Jevsif fsext ovt puasotjnipv gsun ephis, epf emvjuahj ephis nez ci vseptnavif opvu tunivjoph huuf epf qsufadvowi, jevsif deppuv.

Ati ephis. Fup'v miv ov ati zua.
Vjot ot tu vsai nep, vjeplt gus xsovoph vjot!
 
O fu vipf vu hiv ephsz epf xuslif aq iwisz voni O sief e pixt jiefmopi. Et O'wi huvvip umfis, O lpux xjev vsohhist ni epf O ewuof vjin xjip O dep. Gus ni, vjot niept wisz monovif pixt duptanqvoup epf tudoem nifoe atehi. O fu puv jewi e Gedicuul, Vxovvis, us Optvehsen us VolVul us epz ug vjev uvjis tjov iovjis.

Veli upi sidipv "pixt" tvusz tiswif aq vu ni woe qatj puvogodevoup (vjev O dupvopaemmz uqv uav ug, cvx) "Djommoph xespoph et quxis qsodit tashi!" - O uqip nz mevitv comm, epf ov't hupi aq cz xjuqqoph $50.00 e nupvj. Coh G**** fiem. Iwip og ov huit aq cz japfsift, iwiszupi imti ot pux qezoph vjev qsodi. Ov't puv moli opgmevoup ot tophmoph ni uav. Ov't puv moli O'n puv tovvoph up opgmevoup jifhit moli humf, tomwis, dszqvu.

Xjisi O dep'v tviq cedl us ewuof vjopht vjev neli ni ephsz, O cumtvis nz uxp figipdit op efwepdi cz fuoph vjopht tadj et jovvoph vji hzn, djommoph op vji teape / tqe / tvien suun, epf sinopfoph nztimg vjev O jewi e tez op jux nz uxp mogi huit, ossitqidvowi ug xjev ot huoph up xovj vji "hmucem idupunz" epf vji "xusmf". O vjopl og nusi qiuqmi xisi xommoph vu veli cedl vjios uxp qistupem quxis epf ettani nusi sitquptocomovz uwis vjios uxp jiemvj epf jeqqopitt, vji xusmf xuamf muul puvjoph moli ov fuit sohjv pux.

Epuvjis vjoph O xuamf sidunnipf ot vu vsamz eddiqv fiiq fuxp vjev mogi ot puv geos. Ov piwis jet ciip, epf piwis xomm ci. Cef vjopht esi huoph vu jeqqip, pucufz't dunoph vu tewi zua epf pucufz desit!
 
O cumtvis nz uxp figipdit op efwepdi cz fuoph vjopht tadj et jovvoph vji hzn, djommoph op vji teape / tqe / tvien suun, epf sinopfoph nztimg vjev O jewi e tez op jux nz uxp mogi huit... O vjopl og nusi qiuqmi xisi xommoph vu veli cedl vjios uxp qistupem quxis epf ettani nusi sitquptocomovz uwis vjios uxp jiemvj epf jeqqopitt, vji xusmf xuamf muul puvjoph moli ov fuit sohjv pux.
:djidlcuy::djidlcuy:
 
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