- Joined
- Nov 14, 2011
- Messages
- 2,486
Rep Bank
$5,040
$5,040
User Power: 433%
So this is kind of a personal story, and not business related....but as an overall part of our lives...i feel the lesson is important.
Ever since I graduated college in 2009, I had a self-confidence issue around women I found physically attractive. I used to settle for less and lower my standards a bit just to make dating possible in my life. Not too low, but I wasn't dating the women I wanted to date.
Today, I learned a valuable lesson. The ONLY reason I wasn't getting the results I wanted...is because I didn't have enough confidence in my self. My self-worth wasn't where it needed to be.
That's the ONLY reason...
I became kind of needy...in a scarcity mindset, telling myself that "THIS specific girl is the ONE" or in business "THIS opportunity is the ONLY one." That kind of view on life got me nowhere...
My eyes would dart away, I would get that negative self-talk in my mind of how I'm not good enough. I couldn't even make eye contact with girls who were physically attractive (models, bartenders, etc.)
Yesterday I was hiking the Flatirons in Boulder, CO and saw a confident/attractive man in his 40s. He was with with a confident attractive women.
I used to be the person who would say "one day I could be like him and radiate the confidence like that". And go off in jealousy... But after going on this journey through entrepreneurship, I learned what it takes to transform myself into the person I want to be very quickly.
So that night, I decided to model the vibe and persona of that man...that confident CEO type with the attractive girl...
I did some personal development things that I learned on myself last night, felt a shift in my self-image, and this morning, I went back for my morning hike.
I parked my car near the trail and get out to walk for my hike.
A girl I find really attractive approaches the trail at the same time as me, and I immediately make small talk, commenting on how amazing this area of the city is (the view is amazing here).
But this time instead of coming off as of someone who 'wants to date a girl like that', I decided to be myself and genuinely talk to her.
Our conversation just flowed naturally and it wasn't a question that we were going to spend the morning hiking together. Turns out she works 3 jobs - one as a bartender, one at a shooting range, and is studying to become a pharmacist.
I could tell she was a really motivated person, but she wasn't going in the direction of her dreams...settling for less. So I spent the first half of the hike doing what I do best - helping her live the life she wants to live.
She showed genuine interest in me, and I Was leading the conversation We sat at the top of the mountain for a couple hours talking about life and getting to know each other...real deep conversations where we opened up about things most people don't talk about for a while.
I felt we could trust eachother. We had great rapport.
What I didn't realize until later is that I already became that man I was looking at yesterday, saying "I want to be like him"
Then hiking back, we had more fun conversations, teased each other, and then took panoramic photos where we ran around the camera and stood on the other side so we would be in the photo twice. (FUN game!)
The we tried to switch the camera and make it look like we were both standing next to eachtoehr in the photo, while we had to run back and forth and hand the camera to the other person.
...EPIC FAILURE...
The picture failed every time, so I put my arm around her and we took selfies with the mountains in the background. Then the wind picked up and a rain storm was rolling in. After that we re-enactedthat scene from titanic when they were at the front of the boat. We leaned into the wind and she had her arms out like in the scene, over the cliff in front of us. I forgot what Leo did in the movie so I gave her a hug from behind..and made sure she didn't fall over lol.
When we left, she invited me to go hiking with her friday morning.
Main takaways from this experience today:
When I became that person, I got the results.
But wait, how does this apply to your business?
Think about it
Ever since I graduated college in 2009, I had a self-confidence issue around women I found physically attractive. I used to settle for less and lower my standards a bit just to make dating possible in my life. Not too low, but I wasn't dating the women I wanted to date.
Today, I learned a valuable lesson. The ONLY reason I wasn't getting the results I wanted...is because I didn't have enough confidence in my self. My self-worth wasn't where it needed to be.
That's the ONLY reason...
I became kind of needy...in a scarcity mindset, telling myself that "THIS specific girl is the ONE" or in business "THIS opportunity is the ONLY one." That kind of view on life got me nowhere...
My eyes would dart away, I would get that negative self-talk in my mind of how I'm not good enough. I couldn't even make eye contact with girls who were physically attractive (models, bartenders, etc.)
Yesterday I was hiking the Flatirons in Boulder, CO and saw a confident/attractive man in his 40s. He was with with a confident attractive women.
I used to be the person who would say "one day I could be like him and radiate the confidence like that". And go off in jealousy... But after going on this journey through entrepreneurship, I learned what it takes to transform myself into the person I want to be very quickly.
So that night, I decided to model the vibe and persona of that man...that confident CEO type with the attractive girl...
I did some personal development things that I learned on myself last night, felt a shift in my self-image, and this morning, I went back for my morning hike.
I parked my car near the trail and get out to walk for my hike.
A girl I find really attractive approaches the trail at the same time as me, and I immediately make small talk, commenting on how amazing this area of the city is (the view is amazing here).
But this time instead of coming off as of someone who 'wants to date a girl like that', I decided to be myself and genuinely talk to her.
Our conversation just flowed naturally and it wasn't a question that we were going to spend the morning hiking together. Turns out she works 3 jobs - one as a bartender, one at a shooting range, and is studying to become a pharmacist.
I could tell she was a really motivated person, but she wasn't going in the direction of her dreams...settling for less. So I spent the first half of the hike doing what I do best - helping her live the life she wants to live.
She showed genuine interest in me, and I Was leading the conversation We sat at the top of the mountain for a couple hours talking about life and getting to know each other...real deep conversations where we opened up about things most people don't talk about for a while.
I felt we could trust eachother. We had great rapport.
What I didn't realize until later is that I already became that man I was looking at yesterday, saying "I want to be like him"
Then hiking back, we had more fun conversations, teased each other, and then took panoramic photos where we ran around the camera and stood on the other side so we would be in the photo twice. (FUN game!)
The we tried to switch the camera and make it look like we were both standing next to eachtoehr in the photo, while we had to run back and forth and hand the camera to the other person.
...EPIC FAILURE...
The picture failed every time, so I put my arm around her and we took selfies with the mountains in the background. Then the wind picked up and a rain storm was rolling in. After that we re-enactedthat scene from titanic when they were at the front of the boat. We leaned into the wind and she had her arms out like in the scene, over the cliff in front of us. I forgot what Leo did in the movie so I gave her a hug from behind..and made sure she didn't fall over lol.
When we left, she invited me to go hiking with her friday morning.
Main takaways from this experience today:
- When you go through this journey of entreprenurship, the person you develop into and the lessons you learn carry over to every area of your life. People won't be attracted to you because of your money. They will be attracted to you because of the person you became. The transformation you are going through is very valuable. But the most important thing is you can be that person today....
- When you stop chasing, and started being comfortable with who you are and you set out to help everyone you meet, and do things from that standpoint, people are more attracted to you
When I became that person, I got the results.
But wait, how does this apply to your business?
Think about it
Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member:
Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)
Membership Required: Upgrade to Expose Nearly 1,000,000 Posts
Ready to Unleash the Millionaire Entrepreneur in You?
Become a member of the Fastlane Forum, the private community founded by best-selling author and multi-millionaire entrepreneur MJ DeMarco. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has poured his heart and soul into the Fastlane Forum, helping entrepreneurs reclaim their time, win their financial freedom, and live their best life.
With more than 39,000 posts packed with insights, strategies, and advice, you’re not just a member—you’re stepping into MJ’s inner-circle, a place where you’ll never be left alone.
Become a member and gain immediate access to...
- Active Community: Ever join a community only to find it DEAD? Not at Fastlane! As you can see from our home page, life-changing content is posted dozens of times daily.
- Exclusive Insights: Direct access to MJ DeMarco’s daily contributions and wisdom.
- Powerful Networking Opportunities: Connect with a diverse group of successful entrepreneurs who can offer mentorship, collaboration, and opportunities.
- Proven Strategies: Learn from the best in the business, with actionable advice and strategies that can accelerate your success.
"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with the most..."
Who are you surrounding yourself with? Surround yourself with millionaire success. Join Fastlane today!
Join Today
