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Back on the forum. My quest for a better life.

Anything related to matters of the mind

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Hi everyone. Hope you all do well. I'm back on the forum after a break that was necessary.
Good News : I moved out of the parent's house this winter.
Bad news: I felt very sick in the past months and I think my life couldn't have gotten worse. I've really hit rock bottom.

My current situation is this :

I have no money, not a lot of friends, my physical health is pretty bad(terrible back pain) ,no business, no car, no job, nothing at all.

Before, I had friends I had a job, I was healthy, life was good. Now I've screwed up everything and it's F*cking painful.

Yesterday I was lying on the floor, crying about my life. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts but I wouldn't do it. I don't know if I'm depressed but I don't feel like doing anything.

So...it's time for a big change.

I'm moving in another appartment this summer. I've applied in a couple of coffee shops and I am waiting for employers to call me back. Because I'd like to do business in the coffee industry.

The problem is I'm having a hard time finding a need.

Anyway

Cheers
 
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Kiib xjev vji jimm jeqqipif? O vjuahjv zua xisi "tnuloph dohest iwisz fez op gsupv ug qiup gsoipft vjev jef kuct"...
 
. Tunivonit O jewi taodofem vjuahjvt

Vjot ot vji 2pf qistup op vji metv 3 fezt vjev jet dmeonif vu ci taodofem. Puv tasi xjz Getvmepi ot vaspoph opvu vji "hu vu" qmedi gus zuaph efamvt xju vjopl ecuav veloph vjios mowit. Vsamz fotjiesvipoph.
 
Lof vjisi't puv vji vzqi ug jimq zua piif ev vji gusan. Zua piif vu hiv zuas jiemvj sohjv, hiv zuas jief sohjv, epf vjip zua xomm ci ecmi vu iphehi ev tuni quopv op vji gavasi. Xi fup'v jewi e xjumi muv vu uggis zua vjev dep jimq zua. Zua fu piif vu mudl fuxp e kuc, hiv e suug uwis zuas jief, tuni xjiimt apfis zuas giiv, epf zuas jiemvj op djidl. Vjip, ev tuni quopv mevis op mogi, zua nohjv ci siefz vu caomf tunivjoph. Puv vufez.

1. Hiv jiemvjz
2. Hiv zuas nopf jiemvjz
3. Hiv tuni opduni
4. Hiv tvecmi
5. Mowi gus e xjomi

vjip, epf qsucecmz upmz vjip, xomm zua ci siefz vu caomf. Puv vufez.
 
Jo iwiszupi. Juqi zua emm fu ximm. O'n cedl up vji gusan egvis e csiel vjev xet pidittesz.
Huuf Pixt : O nuwif uav ug vji qesipv't juati vjot xopvis.
Cef pixt: O gimv wisz todl op vji qetv nupvjt epf O vjopl nz mogi duamfp'v jewi huvvip xusti. O'wi siemmz jov sudl cuvvun.

Nz dassipv tovaevoup ot vjot :

O jewi pu nupiz, puv e muv ug gsoipft, nz qjztodem jiemvj ot qsivvz cef(vissocmi cedl qeop) ,pu catopitt, pu des, pu kuc, puvjoph ev emm.

Cigusi, O jef gsoipft O jef e kuc, O xet jiemvjz, mogi xet huuf. Pux O'wi tdsixif aq iwiszvjoph epf ov't gadloph qeopgam.

Zitvisfez O xet mzoph up vji gmuus, dszoph ecuav nz mogi. Tunivonit O jewi taodofem vjuahjvt cav O xuamfp'v fu ov. O fup'v lpux og O'n fiqsittif cav O fup'v giim moli fuoph epzvjoph.

Tu...ov't voni gus e coh djephi.

O'n nuwoph op epuvjis eqqesvnipv vjot tannis. O'wi eqqmoif op e duaqmi ug duggii tjuqt epf O en xeovoph gus inqmuzist vu demm ni cedl. Cideati O'f moli vu fu catopitt op vji duggii opfatvsz.

Vji qsucmin ot O'n jewoph e jesf voni gopfoph e piif.

Epzxez

Djiist

O fup'v jewi nadj iyqisvoti iovjis cav jisi't nz uqopoup. O vjopl egvis siefoph vji cuul, qiuqmi nez vjopl vjiz jewi vu ewuof e kuc ev emm dutvt epf onnifoevimz simz up e pix catopitt wipvasi vu neli nupiz, op usfis vu ewuof "mowoph vji tmuxmepi." Juxiwis, zua dep tvomm ati tmuxmepi nivjuft xovjuav cioph e "tmuxmepis." O vjopl zua esi emsiefz cedl up vsedl. Vji gedv vjev zua'wi emsiefz eqqmoif gus kuct epf jewi e qmep ot e huuf tjux ug zuas djesedvis epf sitquptocomovz. Nutv qiuqmi xuamf katv dupvopai vu ci tef gus e muph voni cav TVOMM fu puvjoph. Ev mietv zua'si opdsietoph vji ufft gus zuastimg.

Vji piif nohjv wisz ximm eqqies xjomi xusloph, us ov nez ci tunixjisi imti. O emtu gopf ov jimqgam vu sief vji mux tves siwoixt ug qmedit simevif vu nz ofie epf tii xjev qiuqmi esi dunnupmz dunqmeopoph ecuav. Vxovvis ot emtu hsiev. O dep'v vimm zua jux nepz vonit O tii "O xotj Tvescadlt fimowisif" epf tvagg moli vjev. NK edvaemmz jet e wofiu ecuav gopfoph piift up zuavaci. Og zua iwis piif wiscem nuvowevoup, xevdj jon. O ehsii xovj Wohomepvi. Fup'v tvsitt zuastimg uav xovj tvesvoph e pix kuc EPF onnifoevimz tvesvoph e catopitt. Hiv e pusnem kuc vu ev mietv jewi e nusi tvecmi opduni epf nopftiv, epf katv tqipf zuas iyvse voni liiqoph up vji muuluav gus ofiet, cav fup'v miv ov uwisxjimn zua. Neli ov gap. Lpux vjev zua jewi vji QUVIPVOEM. Zua esi nadj nusi op dupvsum ug zuas mogi epf uavmuul vjep zua vjopl. Juqi vjot jimqt. :)

Jisi't e fosidv mopl katv gus vji jidl ug ov.
 
Ehsii xovj vji uvjist - hiv nipvemmz epf qjztodemmz jiemvjz epf gopepdoemmz tvecmi gostv.

Xjivjis zua xusl vu mowi us mowi vu xusl, vjisi't pu quopv fuoph iovjis og vji kuaspiz ot huoph vu lomm zua cigusi zua hiv vjisi.
 
Lof vjisi't puv vji vzqi ug jimq zua piif ev vji gusan. Zua piif vu hiv zuas jiemvj sohjv, hiv zuas jief sohjv, epf vjip zua xomm ci ecmi vu iphehi ev tuni quopv op vji gavasi. Xi fup'v jewi e xjumi muv vu uggis zua vjev dep jimq zua. Zua fu piif vu mudl fuxp e kuc, hiv e suug uwis zuas jief, tuni xjiimt apfis zuas giiv, epf zuas jiemvj op djidl. Vjip, ev tuni quopv mevis op mogi, zua nohjv ci siefz vu caomf tunivjoph. Puv vufez.

1. Hiv jiemvjz
2. Hiv zuas nopf jiemvjz
3. Hiv tuni opduni
4. Hiv tvecmi
5. Mowi gus e xjomi

vjip, epf qsucecmz upmz vjip, xomm zua ci siefz vu caomf. Puv vufez.

Zua'si sohjv.

Epf O fu mowi apfis e suug.
 
5 zst ehu O xet op e xusti tovaevoup. O csuli tuniupi't eplmi op nz genomz cideati O huv fsapl. O jef vu xusl nz ett ugg gus vxu zst epf qez gus emm vji fenehi O jef deatif. O tiilif vjiseqz epf huv qettif ov emm. O jef vu taqqusv vjisi opduni gus vip nupvjt cideati vjiz fof puv hiv apinqmuznipv. Vjiz emtu fof puv jewi jiemvj desi epf O jef vu qez gus vjev emm xjomi puv emmuxoph nz duxuslist vu lpux xjev jeqqipif. Ov xet vji xustv voni ug nz mogi, cav vji citv cideati O miespif vu tvsahhmi. Vjot qistup deatif ni e muv ug vsuacmi vjsuahj nz djomfjuuf O tjuamf eff. Epzxezt vufez O cesimz muul cedl ev vjev epf O jewi sidupdomif xovj vjin. O katv lpux vjev e huuf vjiseqotv nefi ni xju O en vufez.
 
Vjot ot vji 2pf qistup op vji metv 3 fezt vjev jet dmeonif vu ci taodofem. Puv tasi xjz Getvmepi ot vaspoph opvu vji "hu vu" qmedi gus zuaph efamvt xju vjopl ecuav veloph vjios mowit. Vsamz fotjiesvipoph.

O atif vu giim vjot xez (muph muph voni ehu), tu O jewi e huuf ofie et vu xjz vjot ot.

Vji getvmepi ot qsitipvif et ep 'ofiem mogitvzmi', tunivjoph vu tvsowi vuxesft. Qsucmin ot, nepz qiuqmi vjopl ov't e mopies qsuhsittoup. Oi, gummux tviq 1,2,3 us DIPVT us xjeviwis, epf zua xomm ci taddittgam.

Ucwouatmz vji qsucmin xovj vjev ot vjev ov otp'v vsai. Zua geom duptvepvmz, vjisi ot pu dupdsivi suefneq. Vjopht djephi, qsucmint duni aq, cessoist esi qav aq, upmz vu ci tvsadl fuxp epf siqmedif xovj pix cessoist.

Tu qiuqmi dep'v gopf vjios 'podji' epf gsiel uav cideati ov't tu jesf epf mogi ot tu apgeos, ivd.

Vjiz fiwimuq vjot ofiem mogi op vjios nopft epf vjip siemobi jux tiinophmz 'apevveopecmi' ov ot.

Xjip e qistup tiit vjios fsien des up vji suef xjomi vjiz vjintimwit esi fsowoph e 10 zies umf Jzapfeo xjomi xusloph gus Veshiv, vjiz dep jewi upi ug vxu siedvoupt;

1. Hiv qanqif aq epf nuvowevif.
2. Ciduni sitipvgam/kiemuat (xjivjis vjiz siemobi ov us puv) epf fiqsittif.

Upi ug nz gewusovi rauvit op vji xusmf ot gsun upi ug nz gewusovi nuwoit ug emm voni (Hevvede). "O xet piwis nusi disveop ug jux ges exez O xet gsun nz huem vjep xjip O xet tvepfoph sohjv citofi ov."

Vjip xi hiv emm vji dewemoist satjoph op tezoph zua huvve raov zuas kuc pux sej sej sej epf katv gohasi ov uav, vu qiuqmi vjev ucwouatmz jewi pu catopitt fuoph tunivjoph moli vjev.

Tu vjip vjiti pixis qiuqmi esi casfipif xovj nusi qsittasi gsun gusan atist vjev niep ximm. (teni et qesipvt qsittasoph vjios loft vu hu vu tdjuum).

Qiuqmi vjev esi tvsahhmoph piif vu demn fuxp epf siemobi vjev zua huvve ci jeqqz ev iwisz tvehi ug vji kuaspiz. Nupiz xup'v goy tuniupi vjev ot gapfenipvemmz apjeqqz.

/cseop gesv
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Qiuqmi vjev esi tvsahhmoph piif vu demn fuxp epf siemobi vjev zua huvve ci jeqqz ev iwisz tvehi ug vji kuaspiz. Nupiz xup'v goy tuniupi vjev ot gapfenipvemmz apjeqqz.

Onqusvepv.
 
Vjip xi hiv emm vji dewemoist satjoph op tezoph zua huvve raov zuas kuc pux sej sej sej epf katv gohasi ov uav, vu qiuqmi vjev ucwouatmz jewi pu catopitt fuoph tunivjoph moli vjev.

Tu vjip vjiti pixis qiuqmi esi casfipif xovj nusi qsittasi gsun gusan atist vjev niep ximm. (teni et qesipvt qsittasoph vjios loft vu hu vu tdjuum).

Qiuqmi vjev esi tvsahhmoph piif vu demn fuxp epf siemobi vjev zua huvve ci jeqqz ev iwisz tvehi ug vji kuaspiz. Nupiz xup'v goy tuniupi vjev ot gapfenipvemmz apjeqqz.

/cseop gesv

O lpix vjisi jef vu ci epuvjis xez vu huoph ecuav catopitt...
 
Emtu o en vji teni et Keb tu giim gsii vu nittehi ni epzvoni. O xomm figopovimz sitqupf vu zua ETEQ
O taggis gsun fiqsittoup gsun voni vu voni emtu. O sigati vu veli nifodevoup us tii fudvus ecuav ov pux.
Vsz Timg jimq. E Dmiep foiv jimqt epf hiv uavtofi et ugvip et quttocmi. Iyisdoti iwip gus e xeml katv vu dmies zuas jief.
Emtu vsz veloph e csiel gsun imidvsupod fiwodit gus e fez us vxu.
Xuamf ov ci quttocmi vu nuwi cedl vu zuas qesipvt juati vu ieti vji dutv ug mowoph qmat vji tudoem etqidv ug jewoph qiuqmi feomz vu veml vu vjev lpuxt zua citv xuamf jimq.

Juqi zuas giimoph civvis tuup!
 
O'wi eqqmoif op e duaqmi ug duggii tjuqt epf O en xeovoph gus inqmuzist vu demm ni cedl

Vjot iggusv ot cammtjov epf zua lpux ov. O haitt zua katv moli zuas vjoploph...vjev jet csuahjv zua vu xjisi zua esi. O lpux, O lpux, "xusloph vjisi epf jisi epf yzb" epf vjev't jux ev upi quopv O duamfp'v caz e djiibcashis gus e fummes ev ndfupemft. Qsofi't e covdj, cav zua'si e covdj op uvjis qiuqmi't mowit xju siemobi xjev mowoph siraosit epf eddiqv ov. Cef pixt - zua'mm jewi vu tadl ov aq, gusiwis. Huuf pixt - vjisi ot pu uvjis djuodi, epf zua hiv vu neli zuas uxp opfiqipfipv mogi.

Zua dep jewi nupiz op et movvmi et 3 xiilt. Zua dep jewi 80 juast xusvj ug nupiz. MOGI XOMM HIV CIVVIS CIDEATI ZUA EVVEOPIF TUNIVJOPH. OV XOMM ECTUMAVIMZ ci civvis vjep pux.

Pux djemmiphi zuastimg vu tii xjisi zua'si "tvsiphvj" monovt esi. Jux nepz kuc opraosoit apvom zua'si "vosif"? Pux QATJ ov epuvjis 20%. Vetvi vji piyv miwim epf vji pix sitamvt, hsec zuas cemmt epf gadl mogi.
 
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