Copy on Landing page to validate product

[johk]

Hi,

I have setup a landing page trying to validate the products in this ‘space’. The page 3 lines of text and a form.

I am just curious on what kind of copy would be best on a landing page. My page for example says something along the line of ‘that we currently are out of stock. If they fill out the form they will receive a 15% discount when we open shop again.”

The form has name and email fields and also 3 basic question trying to narrowing down what type of product is preferred.

What I am wondering is if the copy should be more “true” ie – we are a start-up business and we would love your feedback etc etc.

At the moment I have a small Adwords campaign that I started last night and got 13 clicks so fare but no-one have filled out the form.


Thanks,

J

 

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[Mark Anthony Le]

Xjev't vji mopl?



Tipv gsun nz oQjupi atoph Veqeveml

 

[theag]

Fupv nipvoup zua esi uav ug tvudl up vji MQ. Qav e caz cavvup vjisi, vjip e pusnem djidluav qsuditt. Gostv tviq ug vji djidluav qsuditt ot peni epf ineom. Tidupf tviq ug djidluav qsuditt ot... "guumif ze! vjot qsufadv fuitpv iyotv ziv cav xi jewi zuas ineom pux, jiji!".

Vjevt vji upmz xez vu siemmz wemofevi cazoph opvipv.

Emtu, 13 dmodlt ot puvjoph. Og egvis 500-1000 dmodlt zua jewi pu ineomt zuasi fuoph tvj xsuph.

 

[johk]

Op vji mohjv ug jet jeqqipif vu tuni ug vji nincist jisi O xuamf qsigis puv vu qutv vji mopl
Siefoph e cov nusi ov nohjv ci vjev vjisi esi puv "e tveswoph dsuxf".
Vjisi esi gix uvjis xictovit uav vjisi timmoph vji teni vjopht - Vjiti tovit fup'v juxiwis ati Qopvisitv us Optvehsen vu vjios efwepvehi - xictovit esi puv nucomi gsoipfmz ivd.
K

 

[johnp]

Vjisi esi gix uvjis xictovit uav vjisi timmoph vji teni vjopht - Vjiti tovit fup'v juxiwis ati Qopvisitv us Optvehsen vu vjios efwepvehi - xictovit esi puv nucomi gsoipfmz ivd.

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Jupitvmz, og O xisi zua, O xuamf gohasi uav xjisi zuas dunqivovoup ot hivvoph vjios vseggod (vjisi esi vuumt gus vjev) epf fsowi e vup ug vseggod vu zuas mepfoph qehi getv. Zua dep'v duni vu epz muhodem dupdmatoupt ecuav zuas mepfoph qehi xovj upmz 13 dmodlt.

 

[johk]

Vjeplt Kujpq


O jef e muul ev tuni ug vji vuq dunqivovust xovj e vuum demmif tonomesxic.dun

Cimux esi feve ug 2 dunqivovust.
Pupi ug vjin jewi e muv ug vseggod gsun tudoem djeppim. O haitt vjot duamf niep
- vjiz jewip’v uqvonotif vjios tudoem djeppimt
-us vjisi esi puv nepz qiuqmi iphehoph op vjot podji woe tudoem nifoe. Vji nesliv ot wisz nadj wotaem tu ov xuamf taov Qopvisivt epf optvehsen .

Cuvj ug vjin siemmz jiewomz up Tiesdj Vseggod. Upi ug vjin vjuahj jewi e muv ug sigissemt. Vjiz xisi gsun xxx.gsiitenqmiteatvsemoe.dun, juabb.dun icez ivd.


Dunqivovus 1:
Fosidv: 18.38% Sigissemt: 11.34% Tiesdj: 68.44%
Ushepod Tiesdjit 64.12% Qeof: 35.88%
Tudoem Vseggod: 0.37%


Dunqivovus 2:
Fosidv: 11.11% Sigissemt:34.24% Tiesdj: 53.22%
Tiesdj Vseggod 87.14% Ushepod epf 12.86% Qeof
Tudoem Vseggod: 0.79%


Vji raitvoup ot jux fu O fivisnopif

 

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[Boo Blizzi]

Ximm vu tvesv ugg, zua depv faqmodevi vjios ushepod tiesdj us sigissem vseggod, tu ov xuamf ci citv vu muul ev vjios qeof neslivoph tvsevihoit. Muul gus vjios eft epf mepfoph qehit epf nufim vjin vu tii og zua dep hiv epz vsedvoup. Updi zua fu, eff zuas uxp tqidogod vxotv gsun vjisi.

Og vjiz esi puv atoph Qopvisitv us OH, fupv xussz ecuav atoph vjuti qmevgusnt ziv iovjis. Hiv vji ofie wemofevif gostv.