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Could someone critique this please

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Hey this is a post I want to make on the reddit trading card community. I wanted to know if there's anything I should change to it before posting. Thanks.
"Hello trading card community,

I'm an aspiring entrepreneur looking to help out our community. I would like to pursue an idea that would congregate the far reaches of card type products under one banner. That means trading cards, playing cards, card games, card sleeves, card cases, anything under the sun that has to do with cards, I want to create a website to help people promote their products so that your eyeballs are able to witness the vast array of things you've been unaware of.

This would be a huge undertaking for the time and energy it would take to bring it together, but once its successfully finished, I believe all card lovers would benefit. Take for example, your looking for a limited edition MLB, NFL, Yugioh... card and someone out there has it. Would you rather spend hours scouring the web for an obscure website where its unlikely you'll ever find the card and if you do it feels like you're making a shady backdoor deal on a darkweb site or would it feel awesome if you could go to 1 website and use the search bar to find the one card you needed. Or, say you're big on playing cards but you're worried about the condition of your deck long term. You could get basic card sleeves or go to 1 website and be recommended magnificent after mind blowing card sleeve designs to pack your decks into.

That and so much more is what I want to bring for you all, but I have to follow a golden rule of entrepreneurship. The rule of CENTS where the N stands for need and if nobody needs this service, there's no point in me creating it and i might as well not say more. But, if this is a service you'd love to see provided in the future, I want to hear back from you. Every single voice counts."
 
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Siqusvoph cedl, O nefi qutvt vu 4 dunnapovoit. Xet qisnepipvmz ceppif gsun upi, tomipdif op epuvjis, epf xomm jewi vu tii gus vji metv vxu. O'f tez ovt e huuf tvesv itqidoemmz topdi ovt nz gostv voni xovj siffov.
 
Siqusvoph cedl, O nefi qutvt vu 4 dunnapovoit. Xet qisnepipvmz ceppif gsun upi, tomipdif op epuvjis, epf xomm jewi vu tii gus vji metv vxu. O'f tez ovt e huuf tvesv itqidoemmz topdi ovt nz gostv voni xovj siffov.
Jiz, fof vjiz tez xjz vjiz ceppif epf tomipdif zua? O vjuahjv vji ofie xet duum, jimqgam, emvjuahj o lpux puvjoph ecuav desft
 
Vjev't qsivvz dunnup xovj siffov. Ov dep ci jov epf nott moli nutv uvjis vjopht. Vjiz jevi epz xjogg ug timg-qsunuvoup, iwip og zua'si howoph tvagg exez gus gsii, esi qesv ug vjios dunnapovz epf katv xepv vu jimq.

Neli tasi zua sief vjios opfowofaem samit epf gummux vjin. Ci hipaopi, ci jupitv epf ci molecmi.
 
Siffov ot wisz tvsodv ecuav timg-qsunuvoup.

Dunnapovz cigusi qsunuvoup.

Zua katv jewi vu ecofi cz vji samit, qutv gostv, epf iphehi vji dunnapovz.
 
Last edited:
ziej vji upi xjisi O xet ceppif xet e Qulénup dunnapovz xjisi a jewi vu vovmi as qutv […][…] xovj vji duapvsz opovoemt moli AT DE gus vji duapvsz as tjoqqoph vu. O fofp’v sief vjev tqidogodemmz epf vji eavu nuf huv ni. Vji uvjis upi piifif nz edduapv vu ci edvowi epf 30 fezt umf.
 
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Open the Door.

You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.

  • Active Daily: Life-changing content posted dozens of times every day. No dead threads.
  • MJ's Inner Circle: Direct access to the author of The Millionaire Fastlane.
  • Vetted Network: Connect with founders scaling to 7 and 8 figures.
  • Proven Roadmaps: Strategy over motivation. Execution over "hustle porn."
"SCALED TO 6-FIGURE MONTHS"
"Tips and advice here saved me from huge mistakes, others allowed me to scale my business to 6-figure months."
— User MitchC
"INSANE QUALITY OF PEOPLE"
"The number of high quality people I've met from this forum has been insane. All of it predicated on building real value."
— User Richard Peck

"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with."
Are you surrounding yourself with success?

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