"Can I tell you the truth?â€, "You promise not to get mad", or what about "Honestly?" How many times have you heard those phrases? The words that make you pause for just a second. Just long enough to raise your emotional shield and brace yourself for un-welcomed news.
So how do you react when a friend, a loved one, or even a complete stranger confronts you with an uncomfortable fact? Do you immediately become enraged, cutting them off before they can explain themselves? Or do you launch into an endless string of excuses? Do you hang on every word and replay it over and over in your mind; or do you start thinking about how wrong they are and that your life is nobody’s else’s business?
Isn’t it funny how “the Truth†can so profoundly impact your life? After all, finding out the truth about something could mean that up to that point, you were wrong. Whether wrong about peoples’ perception of you or in the belief that your spouse has been faithful, it’s the truth that jolts your personal reality.
Maybe that’s why people are so afraid to be truthful, because they know that divulging it is going to affect you in a negative way. Oh, there’s time when hearing the truth is a good thing, but that’s not when we’re afraid to hear it. It’s those times when people know that reality is painful. That what they are about to tell you is going to change your attitude, your perception of them, and possibly your life. Although it’s easy for a stranger or an enemy to be blatantly honest with you, it is hard to find a good friend who is not afraid to. If you have such a friend, you’re lucky.
So how do you listen to what hurts, then truly hear the meaning behind it? How do you turn off your emotions just long enough to process the information? One of the first things you have to do is decide whether you are being enlightened, criticized, or attacked.
Being enlightened could open your eyes to new opportunities. When you are enlightened, it merely means that a truth is brought to your attention. If new information is revealed to you, then this is your chance to better understand the full dynamics of that situation. This new revelation can confirm what you’ve already thought to be true, or it may, in fact, destroy all your previous beliefs about the situation. Regardless, facts are facts and it will be up to you to decide how to integrate your new understanding into the overall scenario.
If it’s criticism, you should decide how accurate it is and what steps you’ll have to take to address the issue. It’s really easy to become defensive when someone criticizes you. People that truly care about you will point out your oversights in a way that will help you recognize the problem and then encourage you to deal with it. Just remember that yelling at them may make you feel better, but it doesn’t make them wrong.
Then again, there are those that are just wrong. They’re not wrong in what they tell you, but why they tell you. Some choose to use the truth to attack you because, for whatever reason, they want to make your life miserable. Facts can be presented at the wrong time, in front of the wrong person, or given incompletely in order to anger, embarrass, confuse, or misdirect you. You’ll have to determine how to handle a personal attack; but having a cool head and an even handed response will only serve to make you look better in the long run.
So now that you’ve determined the motivation behind the truth, you need to ask yourself, “Am I afraid of itâ€. If so, “why?†More than likely it’s because the truth is going to cause you some great emotional pain. You’ve always heard that “Ignorance is blissâ€, but is it really? Will ignoring or denying it make the issue go away? It may seem easier, but are you really doing yourself justice? Even if you are able to suppress the truth, you will suffer a cost of some sort. It may not be obvious, but the loss of happiness, trust, or ambition could be the price for ignoring the facts.
Any time one is afraid of the truth, it’s because they fear disappointment. By not facing the truth, it is the same as denying it. Only you can determine if your character allows you deal with it head on, or causes you to retreat from it. So as you face daily life and business decisions, keep in mind that you are being presented with truths constantly. How you handle them is a reflection of your character.
So how do you react when a friend, a loved one, or even a complete stranger confronts you with an uncomfortable fact? Do you immediately become enraged, cutting them off before they can explain themselves? Or do you launch into an endless string of excuses? Do you hang on every word and replay it over and over in your mind; or do you start thinking about how wrong they are and that your life is nobody’s else’s business?
Isn’t it funny how “the Truth†can so profoundly impact your life? After all, finding out the truth about something could mean that up to that point, you were wrong. Whether wrong about peoples’ perception of you or in the belief that your spouse has been faithful, it’s the truth that jolts your personal reality.
Maybe that’s why people are so afraid to be truthful, because they know that divulging it is going to affect you in a negative way. Oh, there’s time when hearing the truth is a good thing, but that’s not when we’re afraid to hear it. It’s those times when people know that reality is painful. That what they are about to tell you is going to change your attitude, your perception of them, and possibly your life. Although it’s easy for a stranger or an enemy to be blatantly honest with you, it is hard to find a good friend who is not afraid to. If you have such a friend, you’re lucky.
So how do you listen to what hurts, then truly hear the meaning behind it? How do you turn off your emotions just long enough to process the information? One of the first things you have to do is decide whether you are being enlightened, criticized, or attacked.
Being enlightened could open your eyes to new opportunities. When you are enlightened, it merely means that a truth is brought to your attention. If new information is revealed to you, then this is your chance to better understand the full dynamics of that situation. This new revelation can confirm what you’ve already thought to be true, or it may, in fact, destroy all your previous beliefs about the situation. Regardless, facts are facts and it will be up to you to decide how to integrate your new understanding into the overall scenario.
If it’s criticism, you should decide how accurate it is and what steps you’ll have to take to address the issue. It’s really easy to become defensive when someone criticizes you. People that truly care about you will point out your oversights in a way that will help you recognize the problem and then encourage you to deal with it. Just remember that yelling at them may make you feel better, but it doesn’t make them wrong.
Then again, there are those that are just wrong. They’re not wrong in what they tell you, but why they tell you. Some choose to use the truth to attack you because, for whatever reason, they want to make your life miserable. Facts can be presented at the wrong time, in front of the wrong person, or given incompletely in order to anger, embarrass, confuse, or misdirect you. You’ll have to determine how to handle a personal attack; but having a cool head and an even handed response will only serve to make you look better in the long run.
So now that you’ve determined the motivation behind the truth, you need to ask yourself, “Am I afraid of itâ€. If so, “why?†More than likely it’s because the truth is going to cause you some great emotional pain. You’ve always heard that “Ignorance is blissâ€, but is it really? Will ignoring or denying it make the issue go away? It may seem easier, but are you really doing yourself justice? Even if you are able to suppress the truth, you will suffer a cost of some sort. It may not be obvious, but the loss of happiness, trust, or ambition could be the price for ignoring the facts.
Any time one is afraid of the truth, it’s because they fear disappointment. By not facing the truth, it is the same as denying it. Only you can determine if your character allows you deal with it head on, or causes you to retreat from it. So as you face daily life and business decisions, keep in mind that you are being presented with truths constantly. How you handle them is a reflection of your character.
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