Have you ever literally been on holiday just stepped off the plane your mom calls (to us whom are sometimes in contact with our parents lol) you can hear in your own mind "Great timing Mom", you go about have your fun, adventure day. You decide to try out couchsurfing (google) sometimes they give you the whole house, or your own room and bath..before airbnb. 
I think I try different, unusual things for the experiences. This beautiful, magical breathtaking day I happened to try couchsurfing on a small boat sitting off the harbor of Kauai, Hawaii in a small town called Hanalei (I have too many favorite places in Kauai but that is one of them).
That morning, I got the call two days on Island, My mom again, "Tammy your father passed this morning", All I know must have been meant that I was on that magical island, one of the most beautiful places in the world looking over the lapis sea of color processing the words that were being spoken on the other line. While staring at the intense, breathtaking, extraordinary mountains to my left. Trying to hold back tears of sadness, trying to breath and remember I am in a beautiful place and be happy. Stay positive I have to call my son and give him the same information I received I must be strong for my son. Breath Tammy, look at the Magical, amazing mountains stay focused.
I chose to stay on island, It was the second day of my three month job taking care of vacation rental property. I was the host to a unit four vacation rental property. It had it's challenges, and it had it's fun I was invited to "Tod Rundgren's" home, facinating place (Yes, I had to google the name as well, and I learned I did know his music) lol home for one of his friend's birthday party put on by his wife. He was touring so they say. The island had it's rewards, I hiked a lot, swam a lot, I know where all the hidden gems are but I was still grieving on the inside, extreme sadness, feeling of guilt (telling myself I should have been there at the funeral etc, the things our minds to do ourselves) feeling torn. Until one (naturally the grieving was still there a bit longer but not as heavy and the guilt disappeared almost immediate.) sunny, rainy day, I remembered this amazing, spectacular Hindu Temple that a lot of people do not even know exist Kadavul Hindu Temple, acres of forest and land.
Remembering it is only open to the public once I week I decided to take a drive over there, possibly the place might make me a bit relaxed with their beautiful landscape.
I drove there just in time to see that it closes at noon which I soon looked at my watch and saw it was five after twelve. Yes, to my unimaginable mind, I could not believe that the gates were locked and I missed it by five minutes, I was pissed for a minute or two and then I think I even had the inkling to climb the small gate, but then these thoughts came flashing through that I would be caught or otherwise, so I decided against it as fast as I got the thought, but then I do remember from being here two years before that the monks owned a lot of land and there was a back entrance (see thinking outside the box, I was determined to heal).
I drove to the back entrance among the Rudraksha Trees with the coolish blue fruit.
I parked my silver, four door, and went for a walk the first thing I saw after the Rudraksha Trees was a small chain fence with a small sign in the middle saying "no trespassing" I thought Oh dam, but I did realize as I walked down lower the chain stopped and there was no sign. To my amazement there was a walking path, I decided to walk the path..right to the back of the Monastery's acreage, and boy was it unbelievably breathtaking, it started to down pour a bit, not unusual for Kauai, naturally I left my umbrella in the car through all this sudden decision making.
I got as far as seeing the "New Temple" (I was so curious if it was finished being built the story goes the monks were having everything made by hand and shipped I believe it was Vietnam, could be Thailand. The main point being done the old fashion way, by hand the whole design process I found "architecturally stimulating". I saw so many beautiful flowers, and statues, walking paths, streams etc. etc, I thought I died and gone to heaven (cute figure of speech). I did not dare go see the temple though, even though I really wanted to see if it was completed, then out of no where right after the rain stopped here comes a monk (I think he was one of the superior monks) from a photo I have seen before), He was on a golf cart, heading my way. I thought once again should I hide before he visually makes contact I decided to stand my ground sort of speak and he passed me and stopped his golf cart looked at me intensely, like almost looking through me, he smiled and said, "I see the rain didn't get you too much" I said "No, not too much" he said "did you see that great meditation place over there and he points to a location, I just walked passed but it was farther to my right and I would not have known it was there unless it was pointed out or I went off the walking path and I said "No, I did not" He recommended I go there to mediate, and he also asked if I went to the Temple, I said once again "No, I did not know if I as allowed" He said (So Classic) "I will not tell if you don't tell", Wow, I thought what a cool experience, I am so glad he was so kind, friendly and nice, I went to the temple, he sped off down the path.
The temple I felt like I am doing something that not many people get to do, I took wonderful photos, I could not believe I had permission to stay as long as I wanted, and to see everything there was to see...It was an incredible experience, Yes, I went to the meditation spot he pointed out, I thought how could I have passed up such an awe breaking spot, I sat there I grieved, I meditated, thought about my Dad and somehow I left something go...the guilt..I realized at the exact spot that I don't have to be in Pennsylvania, Yes, naturally it would be nice to be there with my brothers, cousins, mom etc, family, but that day I realized that I could be anywhere in the world and still love "my dad and honor him" I don't need society tell me how to feel. It's OK, either way and he would have wanted it that way. I think that's why he always thought me the Brave, intelligent, courageous one or am I just thinking of who he was.
I realized that I am so fortunate because the open to the public guests never get taken to the places I was able to see and experience.
I got that phone call yesterday morning, my aunt passed, the last of my mom's siblings, leaving my mom the last one of her family left. My aunt was 85, I again realize I have a choice, I could fly back from Ireland early but what would my aunt want, she had a good, full life, she has her son's there with her, I could tune in and say I could go someplace magical and take her spirit with me on the journey.
There is no right or wrong decision where we are as long as we are Ok, with our decision.
My question, has any one had a similar experience you are on holiday and a loved one or family member passes. Life is short, lets wake up every day and stay focused on creating the life we choose to live we are in charge, through our thoughts, actions etc.
Thanks for reading. Hope you like my story!
I think I try different, unusual things for the experiences. This beautiful, magical breathtaking day I happened to try couchsurfing on a small boat sitting off the harbor of Kauai, Hawaii in a small town called Hanalei (I have too many favorite places in Kauai but that is one of them).That morning, I got the call two days on Island, My mom again, "Tammy your father passed this morning", All I know must have been meant that I was on that magical island, one of the most beautiful places in the world looking over the lapis sea of color processing the words that were being spoken on the other line. While staring at the intense, breathtaking, extraordinary mountains to my left. Trying to hold back tears of sadness, trying to breath and remember I am in a beautiful place and be happy. Stay positive I have to call my son and give him the same information I received I must be strong for my son. Breath Tammy, look at the Magical, amazing mountains stay focused.
I chose to stay on island, It was the second day of my three month job taking care of vacation rental property. I was the host to a unit four vacation rental property. It had it's challenges, and it had it's fun I was invited to "Tod Rundgren's" home, facinating place (Yes, I had to google the name as well, and I learned I did know his music) lol home for one of his friend's birthday party put on by his wife. He was touring so they say. The island had it's rewards, I hiked a lot, swam a lot, I know where all the hidden gems are but I was still grieving on the inside, extreme sadness, feeling of guilt (telling myself I should have been there at the funeral etc, the things our minds to do ourselves) feeling torn. Until one (naturally the grieving was still there a bit longer but not as heavy and the guilt disappeared almost immediate.) sunny, rainy day, I remembered this amazing, spectacular Hindu Temple that a lot of people do not even know exist Kadavul Hindu Temple, acres of forest and land.
Remembering it is only open to the public once I week I decided to take a drive over there, possibly the place might make me a bit relaxed with their beautiful landscape.
I drove there just in time to see that it closes at noon which I soon looked at my watch and saw it was five after twelve. Yes, to my unimaginable mind, I could not believe that the gates were locked and I missed it by five minutes, I was pissed for a minute or two and then I think I even had the inkling to climb the small gate, but then these thoughts came flashing through that I would be caught or otherwise, so I decided against it as fast as I got the thought, but then I do remember from being here two years before that the monks owned a lot of land and there was a back entrance (see thinking outside the box, I was determined to heal).
I drove to the back entrance among the Rudraksha Trees with the coolish blue fruit. I parked my silver, four door, and went for a walk the first thing I saw after the Rudraksha Trees was a small chain fence with a small sign in the middle saying "no trespassing" I thought Oh dam, but I did realize as I walked down lower the chain stopped and there was no sign. To my amazement there was a walking path, I decided to walk the path..right to the back of the Monastery's acreage, and boy was it unbelievably breathtaking, it started to down pour a bit, not unusual for Kauai, naturally I left my umbrella in the car through all this sudden decision making.
I got as far as seeing the "New Temple" (I was so curious if it was finished being built the story goes the monks were having everything made by hand and shipped I believe it was Vietnam, could be Thailand. The main point being done the old fashion way, by hand the whole design process I found "architecturally stimulating". I saw so many beautiful flowers, and statues, walking paths, streams etc. etc, I thought I died and gone to heaven (cute figure of speech). I did not dare go see the temple though, even though I really wanted to see if it was completed, then out of no where right after the rain stopped here comes a monk (I think he was one of the superior monks) from a photo I have seen before), He was on a golf cart, heading my way. I thought once again should I hide before he visually makes contact I decided to stand my ground sort of speak and he passed me and stopped his golf cart looked at me intensely, like almost looking through me, he smiled and said, "I see the rain didn't get you too much" I said "No, not too much" he said "did you see that great meditation place over there and he points to a location, I just walked passed but it was farther to my right and I would not have known it was there unless it was pointed out or I went off the walking path and I said "No, I did not" He recommended I go there to mediate, and he also asked if I went to the Temple, I said once again "No, I did not know if I as allowed" He said (So Classic) "I will not tell if you don't tell", Wow, I thought what a cool experience, I am so glad he was so kind, friendly and nice, I went to the temple, he sped off down the path.
The temple I felt like I am doing something that not many people get to do, I took wonderful photos, I could not believe I had permission to stay as long as I wanted, and to see everything there was to see...It was an incredible experience, Yes, I went to the meditation spot he pointed out, I thought how could I have passed up such an awe breaking spot, I sat there I grieved, I meditated, thought about my Dad and somehow I left something go...the guilt..I realized at the exact spot that I don't have to be in Pennsylvania, Yes, naturally it would be nice to be there with my brothers, cousins, mom etc, family, but that day I realized that I could be anywhere in the world and still love "my dad and honor him" I don't need society tell me how to feel. It's OK, either way and he would have wanted it that way. I think that's why he always thought me the Brave, intelligent, courageous one or am I just thinking of who he was.
I realized that I am so fortunate because the open to the public guests never get taken to the places I was able to see and experience.
I got that phone call yesterday morning, my aunt passed, the last of my mom's siblings, leaving my mom the last one of her family left. My aunt was 85, I again realize I have a choice, I could fly back from Ireland early but what would my aunt want, she had a good, full life, she has her son's there with her, I could tune in and say I could go someplace magical and take her spirit with me on the journey.
There is no right or wrong decision where we are as long as we are Ok, with our decision.
My question, has any one had a similar experience you are on holiday and a loved one or family member passes. Life is short, lets wake up every day and stay focused on creating the life we choose to live we are in charge, through our thoughts, actions etc.
Thanks for reading. Hope you like my story!
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