Deeply depressed best friend...

[Rarehelge]

My only best friend recently broke up with his long-time girlfriend. On top of that, his mother was just diagnosed with cancer..

He is miserable and i've tried everything to get him in a better mood, nothing seems to work. I hate seeing him in this state, and it's only getting worse.
I know that if he read "the millionaire fastlane " he would find hope and recover, but he won't read it. Instead, he looses himself in video games, porn, and fast-food.

Do you know anything i could do to make him a bit happier? He is the only real friend i've got, so i must help him. I'm determined to make him better

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[EliaR]

My only best friend recently broke up with his long-time girlfriend. On top of that, his mother was just diagnosed with cancer..

He is miserable and i've tried everything to get him in a better mood, nothing seems to work. I hate seeing him in this state, and it's only getting worse.
I know that if he read "the millionaire fastlane " he would find hope and recover, but he won't read it. Instead, he looses himself in video games, porn, and fast-food.

Do you know anything i could do to make him a bit happier? He is the only real friend i've got, so i must help him. I'm determined to make him better

I know the feeling.
Can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, talking from experience.
Don't try to convince him to do anything and especially don't judge him for anything.
Just be there for him.

 

[MTF]

He is miserable and i've tried everything to get him in a better mood, nothing seems to work. I hate seeing him in this state, and it's only getting worse.

He needs empathy, not getting him in a better mood. Try to empathize, listen, provide support. Little acts may help a lot, like taking care of a chore, bringing a cake, or just hanging out with no intention to improve his mood.

 

[Andy Black]

My wife thought I was depressed a few years ago and sent me to see the doctor. He said I wasn't depressed, just very very sad.

Sometimes things happen that make those we care about sad.

As @EliaR and @MTF already said, sometimes just being there for someone is enough to help them when they're going through a bad time. And sometimes just small gestures or company can let them know you're there for them.

Keep an eye on them, but don't feel you have to "fix" his sadness. Sometimes it's just part of the rich tapestry of life.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Shono]

I know that if he read "the millionaire fastlane " he would find hope and recover

That is presumptuous. Depression isn’t logical and often has to run its course. Unfortunately the habits that stave off depression have to be cultivated outside of the depressive episode, once someone is in, it’s like being trapped in a tidal wave (assuming it is really depression, not mistaken with sadness which should be considered as the healthy reaction to his current situation).

Ironically if he’s using porn, video games and fast food it may actually be a good sign, it means he is self-soothing. Depression usually follows with anhedonia and is flat and more insidious looking.

As others have said you just need to be his friend right now. Good on you for caring enough to ask here.

 

[eramart]

Do you know anything i could do to make him a bit happier?

Walk with him consistently. Walking can help people to think better, can break negative thought cycles and is good for your health.