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Do you express gratefulness when you buy things?
For the longest time I had a limiting belief about selling. After doing a hypnosis exercise, I found out that the root cause of this limiting belief was something that my mom said to me when I was about 5 years old.
There was a stationary store owner up the street from my in Centerport, New York.
One day my mother and I were in the store, and I forget the specific details of what happened...but I helped the store owner with something. Perhaps I cleaned up a mess that someone else knocked over, or something along the lines.
He was the only one working there, and he was busy helping customers; so if he had to do it himself, he would have maybe lost out on $50 worth of purchases.
I was 5 years old at the time, so he was about to hand me a nice shiny quarter.
Paying me $0.25 so hear could make $50. A nice exchange of value
The Entrepreneur Seed Was Planted
Not knowing anything about the "Adding Value" approach to business, or any desire to build a business at the age of 5...I was in the midst of learning the valuable lesson about adding value to another person, and being rewarded back with getting money for it.
With that quarter, I would have bought two cases of Snaps for $0.10 each (This was back in the early 90's).
The Seed Was Ripped Out from Me Before It Could Sprout
Before I could put that quarter in my pocket and see what I could buy, my mom immediately stopped the transaction.
I forget the exact words she said, but the message that was delivered was:
"Andrew! No! You can't take this money from this man. You'll be a selfish greedy, bad person if you take his money! It wouldn't be nice of you!"
In developmental psychology, I was in the middle of the Imprint Period - Where I was like a sponge, absorbing the beliefs and energy from the world around me; accepting it to be true.
It was in this moment, during my childhood years, where the belief was formed:
"If I take money from people, even if I provide a valuable service; I will be a selfish, greedy , bad person."
Despite not logically making sense in the business world today, this was imprinted in my being and it ruled my behavior for way too long.
Fast forward a few decades.
My first "client" was name Samantha.
The year was 2014 and I just learned the foundations of the skills that eventually turned into my business. She just went through a rough breakup, and we spent the afternoon together to help her get past an insecurity she had.
After a few hours, it worked.
She wanted to offer me money for helping her out.
"No thanks, it's not necessary, I'd feel bad taking it from you." I said.
I just wanted to be a nice person.
I always felt bad charging money for this service because in my mind, that seed was planted about being a selfish, bad, greedy person if I did.
Consciously, it made no sense, but deep down - it was there.
Gratefulness
When I offered my service (up until a certain point), I felt bad asking for money in return - despite helping people with it.
But the other day I reached an obstacle that I wasn't sure how to get past. I have a semi-mentor who has been doing what I do for over 25 years, and I had no hesitation to pay him $200 to get my past this problem.
Here we are, offering the exact same service:
As a customer, I would be grateful to get his help, and be more than happy to pay the money for the exchange of value. But as someone who offered it; I always felt guilt...because of that seed that was planted when I was 5 years old.
Do you still suffer from the same thing?
There are four ways of looking at things...
1. Through Your Own Eyes
When you do this, you look at things through your own perspective, and this is where that limitation may still be here.
2. Through the Eyes of Your Customer
Now imagine being a potential customer who is struggling with whatever problem your product or service offers. Looking through their eyes, at your sales page, at your offer, talking to you (whatever it is)...Imagine feeling gratefulness that somebody finally has a solution for something you've been wanting for so long (from their perspective).
And feel the feeling of gratefulness to hand them the money in exchange for the value.
3. Through the Eyes of a Third Party Bystander
You see person #2 handing you money, and you handing your product or service to them.
Is there any judgement? The product or service is quality, the price is on point, and both parties benefit from it. See the gratefulness each person has for helping the other (one in the form of product,/service the other in the form of money).
4. The System as a Whole
Does person #1 hand person #2 a handgun for $500, where person #3 is about to get murdered because person #2 is a hitman?
Looking down as the system as a whole, does everybody benefit? Is anything unfairly taken away from anybody?
Gratefulness for Buying
The next time you are buying something, feel that feeling of gratefulness of the person or business you're handing money to.
Are you buying Unscripted because you want to make more money? Or do you appreciate the years of hard work and editing that MJ put into sharing his knowledge?
Are you grateful that the doctor who helps you out dedicated over a decade of his life and paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to be educated in a way that helps you resolve your allergies?
Or are you resentful for "having to pay" for something (sidewalker thinking)?
For me:
Oh, and with those Snaps...
I used to empty them all out, and put about 20 cases of worth into a tissue, wrap it up, and make one bigg explosion. One time it sparked too soon and blew up in my hand.
Yet I was still happy to go up to the store and buy some more so I could do it again 😀
For the longest time I had a limiting belief about selling. After doing a hypnosis exercise, I found out that the root cause of this limiting belief was something that my mom said to me when I was about 5 years old.
There was a stationary store owner up the street from my in Centerport, New York.
One day my mother and I were in the store, and I forget the specific details of what happened...but I helped the store owner with something. Perhaps I cleaned up a mess that someone else knocked over, or something along the lines.
He was the only one working there, and he was busy helping customers; so if he had to do it himself, he would have maybe lost out on $50 worth of purchases.
I was 5 years old at the time, so he was about to hand me a nice shiny quarter.
Paying me $0.25 so hear could make $50. A nice exchange of value
The Entrepreneur Seed Was Planted
Not knowing anything about the "Adding Value" approach to business, or any desire to build a business at the age of 5...I was in the midst of learning the valuable lesson about adding value to another person, and being rewarded back with getting money for it.
With that quarter, I would have bought two cases of Snaps for $0.10 each (This was back in the early 90's).
The Seed Was Ripped Out from Me Before It Could Sprout
Before I could put that quarter in my pocket and see what I could buy, my mom immediately stopped the transaction.
I forget the exact words she said, but the message that was delivered was:
"Andrew! No! You can't take this money from this man. You'll be a selfish greedy, bad person if you take his money! It wouldn't be nice of you!"
In developmental psychology, I was in the middle of the Imprint Period - Where I was like a sponge, absorbing the beliefs and energy from the world around me; accepting it to be true.
It was in this moment, during my childhood years, where the belief was formed:
"If I take money from people, even if I provide a valuable service; I will be a selfish, greedy , bad person."
Despite not logically making sense in the business world today, this was imprinted in my being and it ruled my behavior for way too long.
Fast forward a few decades.
My first "client" was name Samantha.
The year was 2014 and I just learned the foundations of the skills that eventually turned into my business. She just went through a rough breakup, and we spent the afternoon together to help her get past an insecurity she had.
After a few hours, it worked.
She wanted to offer me money for helping her out.
"No thanks, it's not necessary, I'd feel bad taking it from you." I said.
I just wanted to be a nice person.
I always felt bad charging money for this service because in my mind, that seed was planted about being a selfish, bad, greedy person if I did.
Consciously, it made no sense, but deep down - it was there.
Gratefulness
When I offered my service (up until a certain point), I felt bad asking for money in return - despite helping people with it.
But the other day I reached an obstacle that I wasn't sure how to get past. I have a semi-mentor who has been doing what I do for over 25 years, and I had no hesitation to pay him $200 to get my past this problem.
Here we are, offering the exact same service:
As a customer, I would be grateful to get his help, and be more than happy to pay the money for the exchange of value. But as someone who offered it; I always felt guilt...because of that seed that was planted when I was 5 years old.
Do you still suffer from the same thing?
There are four ways of looking at things...
1. Through Your Own Eyes
When you do this, you look at things through your own perspective, and this is where that limitation may still be here.
2. Through the Eyes of Your Customer
Now imagine being a potential customer who is struggling with whatever problem your product or service offers. Looking through their eyes, at your sales page, at your offer, talking to you (whatever it is)...Imagine feeling gratefulness that somebody finally has a solution for something you've been wanting for so long (from their perspective).
And feel the feeling of gratefulness to hand them the money in exchange for the value.
3. Through the Eyes of a Third Party Bystander
You see person #2 handing you money, and you handing your product or service to them.
Is there any judgement? The product or service is quality, the price is on point, and both parties benefit from it. See the gratefulness each person has for helping the other (one in the form of product,/service the other in the form of money).
4. The System as a Whole
Does person #1 hand person #2 a handgun for $500, where person #3 is about to get murdered because person #2 is a hitman?
Looking down as the system as a whole, does everybody benefit? Is anything unfairly taken away from anybody?
Gratefulness for Buying
The next time you are buying something, feel that feeling of gratefulness of the person or business you're handing money to.
Are you buying Unscripted because you want to make more money? Or do you appreciate the years of hard work and editing that MJ put into sharing his knowledge?
Are you grateful that the doctor who helps you out dedicated over a decade of his life and paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to be educated in a way that helps you resolve your allergies?
Or are you resentful for "having to pay" for something (sidewalker thinking)?
For me:
- Putting myself in the customer's shoes, feeling grateful for the solution, and feeling happy to pay for the solution, and
- Feeling grateful whenever I purchase something, and appreciating the true work the business owner put into creating that product for me.
Oh, and with those Snaps...
I used to empty them all out, and put about 20 cases of worth into a tissue, wrap it up, and make one bigg explosion. One time it sparked too soon and blew up in my hand.
Yet I was still happy to go up to the store and buy some more so I could do it again 😀
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