Don't Waste Your Life: Optimizing Life for Fulfillment Instead of Net Worth

[MTF]

Death wakes people up, and the closer it gets, the more awake and aware we become. When the end is near, we suddenly start thinking, What the hell am I doing? Why did I wait this long? Until then, most of us go through life as if we had all the time in the world.

Your biggest fear ought to be wasting your life and time, not "Am I going to have x number of dollars when I'm 80?"

- Bill Perkins

There's a discussion on the forum on Bill Perkins' Die With Zero but in this thread I wanted to specifically focus on the philosophy of optimizing life for experiences and fulfillment instead of just net worth.

I believe that it's way easier to build a business that will shackle you than it is to build a business that will still allow you to enjoy your life. In a way, if you want to live a richer life, you need to have the discipline to control how much time you work and aim to work as little as possible (while being as productive as possible).

While some people love working and draw most of fulfillment from that, most people here also have other interests and goals in life beyond business. So it's important to learn to prioritize time and freedom to pursue various experiences rather than just maximize income.

I recently listened to a few interviews with Bill Perkins. And just to give a short description of the guy for those who don't know him: the guy makes 100 million a year, is worth close to a billion dollars now, and is a hedge fund manager, Hollywood film producer, high-stakes poker player, and author of the bestselling book Die With Zero.

He's 55 now (but looks younger) and his wife is 35 years old. He got divorced before which he calls his biggest life failure, nonetheless he seems very happy with his new wife and maintains a friendly relationship with his ex-wife and kids. In short, the guy seems to be successful in all areas of life, not just money.

Here's a relatively short and sweet interview covering the most important stuff on Bill's philosophy:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzXJDP9Hoic


Some of the most important principles he shares that guide his optimization for experiences/fulfillment are:

1. Get the order right - you can experience lots of things in life but there are phases better suited for some experiences than others. Backpacking through Europe or partying in strip clubs is best for your early twenties but not so much for your sixties.

From my perspective, this depends a lot on whether you want to have kids. If not, the phases are IMO more flexible since you won't be spending time between 30-50 raising kids. The health aspect, though, is definitely a thing. I practiced aggressive inline skating when I was a teenager. There's no chance I would do it today because of the fear of injuries. Bill used to be obssessed about wakeboarding until he was 51 when his body could no longer tolerate the beating from this sport (he has since switched to wakesurfing).

2. Fear wasting your life rather than money - as he says in the interview above, “My biggest secret sauce is not giving a F*ck. Most people don’t try because they can’t handle the emotional shame from their friends. (...) A lot of people fear running out of money or being embarrassed. I fear wasting my life.”

3. Spend money on health and experiences - here's a quote from Noah's summary of the interview:

#1: Experiences. “It’s eye-opening when you realize that a lot of what you prefer - you were conditioned to prefer. I don’t like eating fried crickets because I didn’t grow up eating them. I love traveling and challenging my worldview.”

#2: Get a driver. “In terms of longevity, hiring a driver is a tremendous benefit. They’re not distracted by texts or calls - which reduces the odds of dying significantly. You can also work, read, or listen to a podcast while they drive.”

#3: A personal chef. “If you have knee problems because you were 40 lbs overweight and you can’t walk Paris, you got 1/1000 of Paris. With a chef, I don’t have to think about what I need to eat - all of my proteins and nutrients are taken care of.”

#4 Health. Another thing that stuck with me is to maximize the time while your health is in better condition. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, if you’re 85 with back problems, climbing the Great Wall of China isn’t going to be pleasant.

You’ll also likely make more in the future, so be mindful of how much you’re saving for just the future. 500 bucks may seem like a lot now - but to your 40-year-old self, it’s not as much.

“Unlike material possessions, which seem exciting at the beginning but then often depreciate quickly, experiences actually gain in value over time: They pay what I call a memory dividend.”

Let’s say you go on an incredible backpacking trip to Asia with your friends when you’re 24. You’ll probably have at least 50 years to enjoy those memories - and talk about the trip whenever you hang out.

In short: A memory dividend is the re-experiencing of an experience.

Business-wise, he says that most of the time he's trying to fire himself and that allows him to enjoy his life. “That’s the secret sauce. Delegating and getting a team going.”

How do you optimize for fulfillment and experiences in life, both in your business and in your personal decisions?

 

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[MTF]

Here are some of my perspectives on how I try to optimize for not wasting my life:

1. I optimize everything for time, peace of mind, and an empty calendar. I know that this isn't best for everyone but it is for me. It allows me spontaneity, it takes off pressure, and I get to do each day what I feel like doing that day instead of conforming to the calendar.

This means refusing needless calls, meetings, responsibilities, etc. as well as batching stuff (like buying in bulk to not go to a supermarket every day) and paying others to do stuff for me when possible (like paying for door-to-door service for car inspection, assembling furniture, etc.).

2. I prefer traveling long-term, for at least several weeks or months. This way I experience what I call "mini-lives."

Just to give an example, my life in Barbados (about six months) was surfing and swimming every day and in general being a beach bum. I absolutely loved it. Meanwhile, my mini-life in New Zealand (a 3-week stay in one place and a 3-week road trip) was filled with hiking while my recent European/Balkan road trip was focused on getting to know various cities and vibes in each of them.

Each long-term travel redefines me as a person and builds a wealth of experiences and memories I'll never forget. This leads me to #3.

3. I refuse to have a business that ties me to a single location. I know, offline businesses are all the rage these days but I would never want a business that would kill my location freedom and the possibility to have my mini-lives.

This doesn't mean that having a local business makes it impossible to travel (some people figured out how to do it) but it does make it way harder.

4. I prioritize health above everything else, always trying to imagine what my future me will have to pay for my choices today. This year I cleaned up my diet even more, completely removing juices (and any caloric beverages) and reducing processed sugar to pretty much zero (my only exception is ice cream when traveling).

I'm now in the process of transforming my relationship with food as I had some deep issues that caused emotional (over)eating and caused lower life quality because of that.

I want to take care of my health so much that I can still be strong, athletic, fit, and hot in my fifties or after (thinking about dudes like Lenny Kravitz who's 60 and is still a sex icon).

Ultimately, without health we have nothing as nothing is enjoyable if you're in deep pain.

5. I spend time in nature every day. Time flows more slowly and even if you just sit still in a forest and do nothing, it's still a deeply fulfilling experience that always improves my mood, even if I feel shitty. I'm extremely sensitive to noise so nature is also a way for me to escape all the city bullshit and lower stress. This is also why my favorite activities are all nature-based, and preferably, water-based.

6. I spend money on expensive once-in-a-lifetime experiences, even if they're ridiculously expensive. They tend to create very strong memories and are just super cool.

For example, I surprised my girlfriend with a private helicopter tour over the Kakadu National Park in Australia. When I travel, in some places I rent expensive vehicles to have a cooler experience (like a big pick-up truck on Bonaire or an offroad vehicle in Oman). I also tend to spend a lot of money on cool Airbnbs as this is one of the nicest aspects of traveling for me (living in an awesome house in an awesome place).

7. Whenever possible, I try to get my friends and family involved in memorable experiences as that tends to multiply the value of each experience. Unfortunately, most of the time it's just me and my girlfriend as we don't have a spontaneous and adventurous enough of a social circle (and we've found it very hard to make new friends, as I mentioned, sadly, 3 years ago already).

 

[MTF]

@biophase, I would love to hear your insights as you seem to be very strategic about your life and maximizing for fulfillment.