Huningtonbeach
PARKED
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2011
- Messages
- 12
Rep Bank
$95
$95
I emailed Paul Graham today. I emailed MJ aswell. I spent all last night and today reading. About founders stories, their start ups, and their successes.
I realized I'm not all that smart. That may sound arrogant, but I never decided I was all that smart on my own. No one has ever told me I'm not smart. My IQ is 126, which is supposedly very superior. When I talk to anyone, teachers, fellow students...whatever...about any intellectual topic, sometimes they will make a kind comment like "wow your really smart" or something.
This as lulled me into a false sense of security. You see, I am not that smart at all actually, compared to people who are really smart. People like Sam Altman, Sergey Brin or Larry Page...Jeff Bezos or Michael Dell. Real geniuses who you could tell would be successful since they were still in elementary school. I have no such forecasting events. At least no profoundly distinct ones. I worked in my dads business in construction when I was 16, but it was often menial labour or office work, nothing remarkable. I read probably more than the average person, but nothing like Marc Andreesan or other real intellectuals. And to compound that deficit even more so, while Andreesan or Elon Musk are reading highly technical and complicated books, I usually just read about history or philosophy.
All day I have read of greats. And it has the uncomfortable effect of simultaneously depressing me and jolting me with a sense of panic
I'm 20 years old and I have done nothing great, yet it is was always my greatest ambition to do great things and its what everyone has expected me to do.
And today, after a depressing, crushing sobering, I realize my chances of greatness are slim.
Even my hope, the Millionaire Fastlane , does not seem feisable. I mean has anyone actually put the book to use and got rich because of it???
Sure they are plenty of five star reviews, I am one of them. But I realized they don't mean anything. All they mean is that MJ has a great mind, and hes is a fine writer (dont worry about those editors!!). I mean, I am a great example. I posted one of those reviews, and I know nothing of what it makes to create a million dollars. What does my opinion matter.
I honestly don't know if its possible. But anyway.
Paul Graham replied, he says its "definantly not to late at 20". Which is quite a cryptic reply, considering the embarrasing question I asked.
MJ still has not.
But slowly, Paul Grahams reply along with some further thinking has brought me to a more authentic premise. Perhaps none of what I am thinking about really matters.
Not in the sense that its not comparatively bad that I did not take action on my dreams early enough, because it certainly is something I shall always regret. But maybe the truth is it doesn't matter anymore. I will never be a 16 year old Stanford grad (UCR for me...). I will never be a 12 year old programmer like Sean Parker. Never. Its finished.
So now what? What matters? Shall I give up? I cannot, its seppuku or Wealth. I cannot fathom giving up. I have the same disgust for slowlane as MJ.
And not just wealth, but I feel if I am not wealthy in 10 years it will be too late. 5 years is pushing it. Time is limited, I need velocity.
Today I was trapped in a limo in the middle of a blizzard.
I realized I'm not all that smart. That may sound arrogant, but I never decided I was all that smart on my own. No one has ever told me I'm not smart. My IQ is 126, which is supposedly very superior. When I talk to anyone, teachers, fellow students...whatever...about any intellectual topic, sometimes they will make a kind comment like "wow your really smart" or something.
This as lulled me into a false sense of security. You see, I am not that smart at all actually, compared to people who are really smart. People like Sam Altman, Sergey Brin or Larry Page...Jeff Bezos or Michael Dell. Real geniuses who you could tell would be successful since they were still in elementary school. I have no such forecasting events. At least no profoundly distinct ones. I worked in my dads business in construction when I was 16, but it was often menial labour or office work, nothing remarkable. I read probably more than the average person, but nothing like Marc Andreesan or other real intellectuals. And to compound that deficit even more so, while Andreesan or Elon Musk are reading highly technical and complicated books, I usually just read about history or philosophy.
All day I have read of greats. And it has the uncomfortable effect of simultaneously depressing me and jolting me with a sense of panic
I'm 20 years old and I have done nothing great, yet it is was always my greatest ambition to do great things and its what everyone has expected me to do.
And today, after a depressing, crushing sobering, I realize my chances of greatness are slim.
Even my hope, the Millionaire Fastlane , does not seem feisable. I mean has anyone actually put the book to use and got rich because of it???
Sure they are plenty of five star reviews, I am one of them. But I realized they don't mean anything. All they mean is that MJ has a great mind, and hes is a fine writer (dont worry about those editors!!). I mean, I am a great example. I posted one of those reviews, and I know nothing of what it makes to create a million dollars. What does my opinion matter.
I honestly don't know if its possible. But anyway.
Paul Graham replied, he says its "definantly not to late at 20". Which is quite a cryptic reply, considering the embarrasing question I asked.
MJ still has not.
But slowly, Paul Grahams reply along with some further thinking has brought me to a more authentic premise. Perhaps none of what I am thinking about really matters.
Not in the sense that its not comparatively bad that I did not take action on my dreams early enough, because it certainly is something I shall always regret. But maybe the truth is it doesn't matter anymore. I will never be a 16 year old Stanford grad (UCR for me...). I will never be a 12 year old programmer like Sean Parker. Never. Its finished.
So now what? What matters? Shall I give up? I cannot, its seppuku or Wealth. I cannot fathom giving up. I have the same disgust for slowlane as MJ.
And not just wealth, but I feel if I am not wealthy in 10 years it will be too late. 5 years is pushing it. Time is limited, I need velocity.
Today I was trapped in a limo in the middle of a blizzard.
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