So here's the story.
I'm standing in Starbucks this morning to get some anti-depression juice before I go to my day-long slog through the rat race. I'm bitching to myself about how I don't want to do this anymore and am thinking about the Fastlane business I am working on in my off-hours. I readjust my belt as my pants aren't fitting properly because of the inflammation from the fast food I convinced myself to buy the night before as a deal for $1000 didn't go through at work, and I also generally just feel like shit. The body I had when I was fit and healthy with no job is gone and I lament this fact for a minute or two. There seems to be no break from the drudgery of work, sleep, eat, shit, repeat. With off days just being prep days for the workdays that follow and vacation days being the only form of respite, though they are only temporary shots of morphine to numb the dull ache of my mundane-beat-my-head-against-the-wall life.
But then in a moment of clarity, I look around me. I see people, most of them also overweight and most much more unhealthy than I am, also getting some sugary caffeinated concoction to get them through their own rat races. I try to put myself in the shoes of every person I see and try to imagine the life that they live. In my head, it seems like these people are just like me. The same problems and the same mundane life, with office drama, what's on TV, who they are F*cking, who their spouses are secretly F*cking, and other bullshit that keeps them occupied.
Playing through what I think their lives are like I come to a conclusion about each one of them. How the F*ck can you do this and not want to kill yourself? Like seriously. I'm only 25 and the thought of having to do this for as long as I've been alive and STILL not being done with it when I'm 50 stuns me! How can people exist like this? Am only one of a few people who just isn't satisfied? does that make me ungrateful for the relative comfort that I have been giving having been born in America?
Has life always been like this for people even back in prehistoric times? Did we just trade burdens from finding food and running from predators to going to the 9-6 rat race or did we just construct a gilded prison of our own design? If it is the former then I and the good people on this forum only part of the few who think that this is complete and utter bullshit? If this is the case then what is the point for even existing if this is reality? If this is the latter then the statement is...I need out of this like shit like I need the air that I breathe.
I suppose the only thing I want an answer to is...Do people actually like living like this? Is this enjoyable for most people? or are we outliers for not liking the common track?
Thanks for reading
Steeltip
I'm standing in Starbucks this morning to get some anti-depression juice before I go to my day-long slog through the rat race. I'm bitching to myself about how I don't want to do this anymore and am thinking about the Fastlane business I am working on in my off-hours. I readjust my belt as my pants aren't fitting properly because of the inflammation from the fast food I convinced myself to buy the night before as a deal for $1000 didn't go through at work, and I also generally just feel like shit. The body I had when I was fit and healthy with no job is gone and I lament this fact for a minute or two. There seems to be no break from the drudgery of work, sleep, eat, shit, repeat. With off days just being prep days for the workdays that follow and vacation days being the only form of respite, though they are only temporary shots of morphine to numb the dull ache of my mundane-beat-my-head-against-the-wall life.
But then in a moment of clarity, I look around me. I see people, most of them also overweight and most much more unhealthy than I am, also getting some sugary caffeinated concoction to get them through their own rat races. I try to put myself in the shoes of every person I see and try to imagine the life that they live. In my head, it seems like these people are just like me. The same problems and the same mundane life, with office drama, what's on TV, who they are F*cking, who their spouses are secretly F*cking, and other bullshit that keeps them occupied.
Playing through what I think their lives are like I come to a conclusion about each one of them. How the F*ck can you do this and not want to kill yourself? Like seriously. I'm only 25 and the thought of having to do this for as long as I've been alive and STILL not being done with it when I'm 50 stuns me! How can people exist like this? Am only one of a few people who just isn't satisfied? does that make me ungrateful for the relative comfort that I have been giving having been born in America?
Has life always been like this for people even back in prehistoric times? Did we just trade burdens from finding food and running from predators to going to the 9-6 rat race or did we just construct a gilded prison of our own design? If it is the former then I and the good people on this forum only part of the few who think that this is complete and utter bullshit? If this is the case then what is the point for even existing if this is reality? If this is the latter then the statement is...I need out of this like shit like I need the air that I breathe.
I suppose the only thing I want an answer to is...Do people actually like living like this? Is this enjoyable for most people? or are we outliers for not liking the common track?
Thanks for reading
Steeltip
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