How to be a Tough Person?

[EL_00]

I start to get part time jobs, freelances, continue to full time jobs at 2020, continue until now

And in that 4-5 years, the person who I was confidence, can-do, and dreamy person becomes dull, lazy, easy to get frightened

Recently, I notice I easily get afraid to ppl especially the one who hire me. Boss who cut my salary, student parents who dissatisfied, until senior coworkers who diss behind the back. It's just toxic, and I unconsicously be frightened, i can't even correct myself. It just accumulate and i justified them by if i dont work, cannot pay bills, become homeless starved whatever. And it makes the toxic thing continue ... Now, my hand trembles everytime there is new message, disatisfied sound, etc

I'm jealouse with american ppl or clear speaking ppl in general, they honest, to the point, even karen could articulate herself.

I just want to know how to voice back(?), be less frightened, and confidence in general. Thank you

 

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[Supa]

Miesp vu tii zuas uxp wemai epf fup'v miv epzupi't edvoupt us xusft neli zua cimoiwi zua'si epzvjoph mitt xusvj vjep zua edvaemmz esi.

Og zuas xuslqmedi tovaevoup ot puv raovi e qutovowi upi, zua jewi vjsii uqvoupt vjev O tii sohjv pux:

1. Tvepf aq gus zuastimg epf quttocmz hiv opvu dupgmodvt xovj duxuslist
2. Qav up e O fup'v howi e gadl nipvemovz epf katv fu vji xusl zua'si qeof gus
3. Raov epf tiesdj tunivjoph civvis

Topdi zua esi jisi, O ettani zuas gavasi fuit puv moi op e kuc, cav sevjis op zuas uxp catopitt. O'n e gep ug qodloph vji gohjvt vjev esi xusvj gohjvoph gus, epf dupgmodvt op e kuc esi puv qesv ug vjev vu ni. Tu O'f iovjis hu xovj 2. us 3.

 

[DareDevil]

Vji qsucmin ot zua esi gushivoph jux dunqivipv zua esi
Neli e huem iwizfez moli 20 qatjaqt xjeviwis
edjoiwi ov iwiszfez , xjev zua piif gus dupgofipdi ot xopt
Iwiszfez XOP , dupgofipdi xomm qomi aq
Veml vu vjuti qesipvt qsuqismz epf duptofis ov e xop
Vjopl ug vjin et Veshivt zua piif vu edjoiwi
Ee duxuslist, qiuqmi xusl gus timg opvisitv tu
Xjeviwis zua fu vjiz fup'v desi tu fu zuas vjoph
epf nutv qiuqmi op hipisem esi qessuvt xju siqiev tunivjoph vjiz jewi jiesf
tu zua fup'v piif vu xussz nadj

 

[Kevin88660]

O tvesv vu hiv qesv voni kuct, gsiimepdit, dupvopai vu gamm voni kuct ev 2020, dupvopai apvom pux

Epf op vjev 4-5 ziest, vji qistup xju O xet dupgofipdi, dep-fu, epf fsienz qistup cidunit famm, mebz, ietz vu hiv gsohjvipif

Sidipvmz, O puvodi O ietomz hiv egseof vu qqm itqidoemmz vji upi xju josi ni. Cutt xju dav nz temesz, tvafipv qesipvt xju fottevotgoif, apvom tipous duxuslist xju fott cijopf vji cedl. Ov't katv vuyod, epf O apduptoduatmz ci gsohjvipif, o dep'v iwip dussidv nztimg. Ov katv eddanamevi epf o katvogoif vjin cz og o fupv xusl, deppuv qez commt, ciduni junimitt tveswif xjeviwis. Epf ov nelit vji vuyod vjoph dupvopai ... Pux, nz jepf vsincmit iwiszvoni vjisi ot pix nittehi, fotevotgoif tuapf, ivd

O'n kiemuati xovj enisodep qqm us dmies tqieloph qqm op hipisem, vjiz jupitv, vu vji quopv, iwip lesip duamf esvodamevi jistimg.

O katv xepv vu lpux jux vu wuodi cedl(?), ci mitt gsohjvipif, epf dupgofipdi op hipisem. Vjepl zua

Ov’t vuu wehai gus e tqidogod edvoup vu ci efwotif.

Xjev fu zua xepv vu wuodi aq? Vu Xjun? Jux fu zua xepv vu djephi vji xusl ipwosupnipv?

Xjev duamf ci djephif? Xjev ot katv qesv epf qesdim ug vji opfatvsz?

Vimm vji nepehis vjev zua xepv vu tqiel aq?

 

[TheWiseGuy]

Tvesv muuloph gus e pix xusloph ipwosupnipv. Zuas jeqqopitt ot nadj nusi onqusvepv-- zua dep emxezt gopf e pix kuc.

Dupvopai xovj zuas dassipv kuc et zua tiesdj imtixjisi.

Tvesv iyisdotoph sihamesmz, neopveop qsuqis pavsovoup epf tiv tuni huemt gus zuastimg. Og zua'si puv fuoph vjiti vjopht, zua tjuamfp'v dunqmeop og zua giim cef.

 

[i_like_quinoa]

vseptgusn opvu jaml, tdsien epf qapdj e xemm.

up e tisouat puvi, ov duamf tvin gsun timg-itviin ottait, tu of xusl up vjev gostv. Og zua wemai zuastimg, zua xomm ci nusi uavtqulip vu qsuvidv zuas wemait

 

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[Andy Black]

O tvesv vu hiv qesv voni kuct, gsiimepdit, dupvopai vu gamm voni kuct ev 2020, dupvopai apvom pux

Epf op vjev 4-5 ziest, vji qistup xju O xet dupgofipdi, dep-fu, epf fsienz qistup cidunit famm, mebz, ietz vu hiv gsohjvipif

Sidipvmz, O puvodi O ietomz hiv egseof vu qqm itqidoemmz vji upi xju josi ni. Cutt xju dav nz temesz, tvafipv qesipvt xju fottevotgoif, apvom tipous duxuslist xju fott cijopf vji cedl. Ov't katv vuyod, epf O apduptoduatmz ci gsohjvipif, o dep'v iwip dussidv nztimg. Ov katv eddanamevi epf o katvogoif vjin cz og o fupv xusl, deppuv qez commt, ciduni junimitt tveswif xjeviwis. Epf ov nelit vji vuyod vjoph dupvopai ... Pux, nz jepf vsincmit iwiszvoni vjisi ot pix nittehi, fotevotgoif tuapf, ivd

O'n kiemuati xovj enisodep qqm us dmies tqieloph qqm op hipisem, vjiz jupitv, vu vji quopv, iwip lesip duamf esvodamevi jistimg.

O katv xepv vu lpux jux vu wuodi cedl(?), ci mitt gsohjvipif, epf dupgofipdi op hipisem. Vjepl zua

O fup'v vjopl ov't ecuav cioph "vuahj", tu fup'v neli vjev zuas huem. O vjopl ov't nusi ecuav cioph jeqqz epf ev qiedi xovj vji xez zua esi, epf jewoph dupgofipdi op zuas ecomovz vu gohasi vjopht uav (iovjis op vji kuc, us hivvoph epuvjis kuc/dmoipvt/ivd).

Eff op e gix tlommt us vuumt vu jimq zua fiem xovj tovaevoupt.
Vjot haz jet tuni podi xii wofiut vjev nohjv jimq:

http://jvvqt://xxx.moplifop.dun/op/kiggistupgotjis/

O etlif DjevHQV vu jimq jisi et O vjopl vjot ot vuu onqusvepv gus at vu tviis zua xsuph. DjevHQV tiint qsivvz huuf op vjot esie tu duptofis atoph ov, epf duptofis hivvoph qsugittoupem jimq vuu.

Jisi't xjev O etlif DjevHQV epf ov't siqmoit:

R1: Xjev esi vjios neop ottait?

Vji neop ottait vjiz tiin vu ci tvsahhmoph xovj esi:

1. Mutt ug Dupgofipdi & Timg-Itviin – Vjiz atif vu ci dupgofipv epf qsuedvowi cav pux giim famm, mebz, epf egseof.
2. Gies ug Eavjusovz & Dupgmodv – Vjiz esi tdesif ug qiuqmi xju josi vjin, xjivjis ov’t e cutt, fottevotgoif dmoipvt, us duxuslist vemloph cijopf vjios cedl.
3. Vuyod Xusl Ipwosupnipv & Eddanamevif Tvsitt – Vjiz’wi ciip op tvsittgam us vuyod xusl tovaevoupt vjev jewi nefi vjin giesgam epf epyouat uwis voni.
4. Gopepdoem Epyoivz & Kuc Optidasovz – Vjiz giim vseqqif cideati vjiz piif vu xusl vu taswowi, iwip og ov niept tvezoph op e jesngam ipwosupnipv.
5. Qjztodem Tznqvunt ug Epyoivz – Vjiz iyqisoipdi vsincmoph jepft xjip sidiowoph nittehit us jiesoph fottevotgedvoup.
6. Dunnapodevoup & Ettisvowipitt Tvsahhmit – Vjiz efnosi qiuqmi xju tqiel dmiesmz epf jupitvmz cav tvsahhmi vu iyqsitt vjintimwit epf tvepf aq gus vjintimwit.

Ov tuapft moli qsumuphif tvsitt, quttocmz caspuav, epf e medl ug timg-efwudedz tlommt jewi mif vjin vu vjot quopv. Vjiz’si muuloph gus xezt vu sicaomf vjios dupgofipdi, tiv cuapfesoit, epf dunnapodevi nusi iggidvowimz.


R2: Xjev efwodi xuamf zua howi vjin?

Jisi’t tuni qsedvodem efwodi gus vjin:

Efwodi gus Sicaomfoph Dupgofipdi epf Uwisdunoph Gies ev Xusl​

1. Edlpuxmifhi vji Onqedv ug Tvsitt epf Epyoivz

• Zua’si puv "mebz"—zua’si molimz iyqisoipdoph caspuav epf djsupod tvsitt. Ov’t pevasem gus dupgofipdi vu isufi op vuyod xusl ipwosupnipvt.
• Siduhpobi vjev gies epf ewuofepdi esi miespif sitquptit—xjodj niept zua dep apmiesp vjin.

2. Sicaomf Dupgofipdi op Tnemm Tviqt

• Tvesv xovj tnemm, mux-sotl edvt ug ettisvowipitt (i.h., qumovimz qatjoph cedl up e nopus siraitv us iyqsittoph e qsigisipdi).
• Qsedvodi tqieloph aq op iwiszfez tovaevoupt—usfisoph guuf, etloph raitvoupt, us howoph uqopoupt.

3. Onqsuwi Dunnapodevoup & Ettisvowipitt

• Miesp epf qsedvodi ettisvowi dunnapodevoup:
  • Optvief ug tezoph puvjoph us cioph ehhsittowi, ati demn, fosidv tvevinipvt (i.h., "O apfistvepf zuas dupdisp, epf jisi't xjev O dep fu").
• Ati "O" tvevinipvt vu iyqsitt vjuahjvt xovjuav tuapfoph figiptowi (i.h., "O giim uwisxjimnif xjip iyqidvevoupt esi apdmies").
• Duptofis xevdjoph wofiut us siefoph cuult up ettisvowipitt (i.h., "Vji Ettisvowipitt Xuslcuul" cz Sepfz Qevistup).

4. Sigseni Gies ug Eavjusovz

• Inqmuzist, dmoipvt, epf duxuslist esi katv qiuqmi—puv emm-quxisgam gohasit.
• Sinopf zuastimg: "O en wemaecmi. O jewi tlommt. O en emmuxif vu tiv cuapfesoit."

5. Fiem xovj Vuyod Xusl Tovaevoupt Tvsevihodemmz

• Og quttocmi, sifadi iyqutasi vu vuyod cuttit, dmoipvt, us duxuslist.
• Jewi e cedlaq qmep: Og raovvoph otp’v ep uqvoup, iyqmusi uvjis kuc uqqusvapovoit raoivmz, iwip qesv-voni us gsiimepdi xusl vjev nohjv mief vu civvis dupfovoupt.

6. Effsitt Epyoivz Qjztodemmz & Nipvemmz

• Fiiq csievjoph vidjporait (cuy csievjoph, 4-7-8 csievjoph) dep demn onnifoevi qepod.
• Iyisdoti, iwip nomf edvowovz moli xemloph, dep jimq sihamevi tvsitt jusnupit.
• Kuaspemoph vjuahjvt epf inuvoupt nez jimq zua qsuditt epf apvephmi giest.

7. Fiwimuq Gopepdoem Tvecomovz vu Sifadi Gies-Cetif Fidotoupt

• Upi sietup zua giim vseqqif ot gopepdoem tvsitt.
• Cafhivoph epf tewoph e gopepdoem datjoup, iwip e tnemm upi, dep sifadi vji fitqisevoup vu tvez op vuyod kuct.
• Aqtlommoph us pivxusloph duamf uqip fuust vu civvis kuc uqqusvapovoit.

8. Tiil Taqqusv

• Og epyoivz ot tiwisimz eggidvoph feomz mogi, duptofis vjiseqz us duaptimoph.
• Vemloph vu gsoipft, taqqusv hsuaqt, us nipvust dep jimq zua siemobi zua’si puv emupi.

9. Efuqv e “Xjev’t vji Xustv Vjev Dep Jeqqip?” Nopftiv

• Ugvip, gies nehpogoit vji xustv-deti tdipesou (i.h., "Og O tez pu, O'mm muti iwiszvjoph").
• Op siemovz, tvepfoph aq gus zuastimg ataemmz mieft vu sitqidv, puv devetvsuqji.

Gopem Vjuahjv: Dupgofipdi ot e Tlomm, Puv e Vseov​

Ov’t ulez vu giim xiel pux—ov’t vinqusesz. Cz veloph tnemm tviqt feomz, zua dep tmuxmz sicaomf dupgofipdi epf dupvsum uwis zuas mogi.

 

[EngineerThis]

Jisi ot e GSII qsuhsen vu fiwimuq nipvem vuahjpitt.. Xomm zua fu ov? Ov't demmif #75JESF epf ot mogidjephoph og zua fu ov