Since I'm pretty early into my journey to the Fastlane, I can't offer too much advice on how to build a successful business, or how to market your business, or anything else that needs one thing before you can start giving advice about it: success in that area. However I want to give back to this community as good as I can, so I thought about it and after a while a thought popped into my head: if I can't give people advice on what to do, I probably can tell people about the things that were not good for my goals, so in other words: give adive on what better not to do.
As always the following is just my opinion based on my experience, I can not talk for everybody but hopefully my advice will make you avoid some detours on your journey to the Fastlane.
A Slowlane Conversation
let me take you to a sunday dinner with the family. To my left we have my grandma, my grandpa, my mom and my step-dad, to the right we have my brother and his girlfriend. We are sitting around the table, just finished eating and after a few random topics the conversation gets to one specific topic: money. The convo goes something like:
Mom: "...how's the job going?"
Me: "uhh.. I guess it's ok.."
Mom: "ok? That's your job, you should care more about it!"
Me: "mum.. it is just a job. I do it to pay my bills, nothing more, nothing less"
Step-Dad: "how about going to school again? This way you could earn a lot more than you do in your job."
Me: "that's just not what I want for my life."
Mom: "and what do you want for your life?"
Me: "I told you. I don't want to waste the next 40 years working for someone else. I want to build a business."
Grandma: "that's just how it goes, it's always been this way. Should I tell you how many hours we had to work when we were your age?"
Me: "I know that it is possible to get rich young and live the life I want to live."
Step-Dad: "you should be more realistic, that's maybe 1 out of a million who gets rich with a business."
Grandma: "money doesn't make you happy.."
Me: "duh.. let's just accept that we have different opinions.. Let us change the subject."
Grandma: "btw honey (to Grandpa) did we play the lottery this week?"
Brother: "ok if you could buy any car, which one would it be?"
Me: "any car? Lambo Aventador of course.."
Brother: "man that's just a car for someone with a small penis.. something for a showoff. I would buy a nice middle class Mercedes."
Me: "why shou.. ok forget it." *shaking head*
Mom: "I'm so happy that I got an off day tomorrow, can't stand the job at the moment.."
Grandma: "just a few more years until you will retire, so just keep that in mind every morning you get up for your job"
Me to my Bro's GF: "wanna go to the balcony for a cigarette?"
While the two of us sit there she tells me:
Bro's GF: "you should stop telling them about your plans, they don't get it.."
Me: "yeah you are right.. just makes me exhausted every sunday"
Bro's GF: "keep doing your thing and they will understand it sometime.. can you show me the website you are working on?"
Also this conversation is fictional, it is based on some conversations that I had with my family in the past. Every family is different, but I think that a lot of us already experienced something similar to this convo.
Don't Let Anyone Take Away Your Excitement
Be careful who you share your thoughts with. Ever had the feeling of real excitement after you made an important step in your business? And of course you want to share this excitement with your family. Did you ever found yourself in a similar convo like the above after sharing your thoughts and excitement? What did it do for you? I guess nothing good. As entrepreneurs with a Fastlane mindset, we have to understand that we are the minority. Sharing your Fastlane thoughts with the majority (the Slowlaners and Sidewalkers) can do a lot of harm to your motivation. Things like "this will never work" or "so many other people are already doing the exact same thing" have the power to turn you from the happy whistling and running around in the sun type guy into the sad watching through the rainy window type of guy in the fraction of a second. Those mindsets can act like a poison to your motivation, they can make you doubt yourself and your idea. You may think those words brought you back to reality.. But they just brought you back to THEIR REALITY. And their reality is, that it is not possible to get rich while you are still young. Ask yourself if you want that to be your reality.
Don't Let Your Past Dictate Your Future
a lot of our limiting beliefs are based on our past experiences. If you tried to lose weight 5 times in the last few years, you probably won't be pretty confident in yourself, and you probably don't believe that you will achieve that goal. This thought process forms a limiting belief, of course most of it happens subconsciously. You have to overcome those limiting beliefs. Your past does not form your future. Your past formed the present, and the present, now, forms your future. In other words: it is in your hands how your future will look like.
But there's more to it... Just because you changed your belief system doesn't make the people around your change their beliefs about you. Think about it.. take your laziest friend, someone who likes to watch tv every evening or play PS4 for hours daily, could you imagine that he/she will create a million dollar business? Now chances are high that your closest friends and family think about you in a similar way. You can't convince your best friends merely with words to think of you as a young entrepreneur who is capable of making millions with his business. What they see is probably the guy who got drunk with them every weekend. Words can't do enough magic to change that image, but actions do.
Move In Silence And Let Your Actions Speak For You
Yeah you can try to convince your friends and family that you are willing to do anything, this time it will work and bla bla bla.. That's like a fat guy telling you he wants to lose weight, you won't believe him until he really does.
We all know this feeling of excitement that you get when you are happy about your business and how it goes, and we often feel that desire to share this excitement. But what if this feeling of excitement doesn't feel as good as it felt before you shared it with someone not likeminded? Why should you set your excitement and the motivation that follows this excitement at risk just for this desire of sharing it? Is there a way to avoid the negative comments about your ideas and your business? Is there a way of avoiding that someone takes away from your motivation? Yes there is a way. And it is simpler than you may think.
Just don't share your thoughts with everybody.
I can almost hear some saying "but I want to share it, I want to let people know what I am doing!" relax, you can. I'm just suggesting to share your thoughts with likeminded people. Likeminded people like most of the users on this forum, or likeminded people in your family and your friends.
Choose Wisely Who You Tell Your Thoughts
If you look at the convo with the family at the beginning, who would you choose to share your thoughts with? The decision is not pretty hard, the only one that shared my point of view and showed real interest in my business was my brother's girlfriend. She's the only one I showed the website in detail out of my friends and my family. Most of my friends don't even know that I work on a business at all, and my family knows that I do, but with no details. Without this forum, my desire for sharing my excitement would probably kill me, but thanks to this forum I have the opportunity to talk about those topics with likeminded people.
In my experience it feels way better to move in silence, instead of letting everybody know every step you take. Let your actions speak for you, and not your words which most people won't believe anyway.
Disclaimer: Even if it may seem like the opposite, I have a very happy and supporting family, and the best friends I could imagine. My friends and my family may not always understand my mindsets, due to what they been told since their childhood and how they grew up, but they definitely support me, whatever I do and I'm very thankful for them.
As always the following is just my opinion based on my experience, I can not talk for everybody but hopefully my advice will make you avoid some detours on your journey to the Fastlane.
A Slowlane Conversation
let me take you to a sunday dinner with the family. To my left we have my grandma, my grandpa, my mom and my step-dad, to the right we have my brother and his girlfriend. We are sitting around the table, just finished eating and after a few random topics the conversation gets to one specific topic: money. The convo goes something like:
Mom: "...how's the job going?"
Me: "uhh.. I guess it's ok.."
Mom: "ok? That's your job, you should care more about it!"
Me: "mum.. it is just a job. I do it to pay my bills, nothing more, nothing less"
Step-Dad: "how about going to school again? This way you could earn a lot more than you do in your job."
Me: "that's just not what I want for my life."
Mom: "and what do you want for your life?"
Me: "I told you. I don't want to waste the next 40 years working for someone else. I want to build a business."
Grandma: "that's just how it goes, it's always been this way. Should I tell you how many hours we had to work when we were your age?"
Me: "I know that it is possible to get rich young and live the life I want to live."
Step-Dad: "you should be more realistic, that's maybe 1 out of a million who gets rich with a business."
Grandma: "money doesn't make you happy.."
Me: "duh.. let's just accept that we have different opinions.. Let us change the subject."
Grandma: "btw honey (to Grandpa) did we play the lottery this week?"
Brother: "ok if you could buy any car, which one would it be?"
Me: "any car? Lambo Aventador of course.."
Brother: "man that's just a car for someone with a small penis.. something for a showoff. I would buy a nice middle class Mercedes."
Me: "why shou.. ok forget it." *shaking head*
Mom: "I'm so happy that I got an off day tomorrow, can't stand the job at the moment.."
Grandma: "just a few more years until you will retire, so just keep that in mind every morning you get up for your job"
Me to my Bro's GF: "wanna go to the balcony for a cigarette?"
While the two of us sit there she tells me:
Bro's GF: "you should stop telling them about your plans, they don't get it.."
Me: "yeah you are right.. just makes me exhausted every sunday"
Bro's GF: "keep doing your thing and they will understand it sometime.. can you show me the website you are working on?"
Also this conversation is fictional, it is based on some conversations that I had with my family in the past. Every family is different, but I think that a lot of us already experienced something similar to this convo.
Don't Let Anyone Take Away Your Excitement
Be careful who you share your thoughts with. Ever had the feeling of real excitement after you made an important step in your business? And of course you want to share this excitement with your family. Did you ever found yourself in a similar convo like the above after sharing your thoughts and excitement? What did it do for you? I guess nothing good. As entrepreneurs with a Fastlane mindset, we have to understand that we are the minority. Sharing your Fastlane thoughts with the majority (the Slowlaners and Sidewalkers) can do a lot of harm to your motivation. Things like "this will never work" or "so many other people are already doing the exact same thing" have the power to turn you from the happy whistling and running around in the sun type guy into the sad watching through the rainy window type of guy in the fraction of a second. Those mindsets can act like a poison to your motivation, they can make you doubt yourself and your idea. You may think those words brought you back to reality.. But they just brought you back to THEIR REALITY. And their reality is, that it is not possible to get rich while you are still young. Ask yourself if you want that to be your reality.
Don't Let Your Past Dictate Your Future
a lot of our limiting beliefs are based on our past experiences. If you tried to lose weight 5 times in the last few years, you probably won't be pretty confident in yourself, and you probably don't believe that you will achieve that goal. This thought process forms a limiting belief, of course most of it happens subconsciously. You have to overcome those limiting beliefs. Your past does not form your future. Your past formed the present, and the present, now, forms your future. In other words: it is in your hands how your future will look like.
But there's more to it... Just because you changed your belief system doesn't make the people around your change their beliefs about you. Think about it.. take your laziest friend, someone who likes to watch tv every evening or play PS4 for hours daily, could you imagine that he/she will create a million dollar business? Now chances are high that your closest friends and family think about you in a similar way. You can't convince your best friends merely with words to think of you as a young entrepreneur who is capable of making millions with his business. What they see is probably the guy who got drunk with them every weekend. Words can't do enough magic to change that image, but actions do.
Move In Silence And Let Your Actions Speak For You
Yeah you can try to convince your friends and family that you are willing to do anything, this time it will work and bla bla bla.. That's like a fat guy telling you he wants to lose weight, you won't believe him until he really does.
We all know this feeling of excitement that you get when you are happy about your business and how it goes, and we often feel that desire to share this excitement. But what if this feeling of excitement doesn't feel as good as it felt before you shared it with someone not likeminded? Why should you set your excitement and the motivation that follows this excitement at risk just for this desire of sharing it? Is there a way to avoid the negative comments about your ideas and your business? Is there a way of avoiding that someone takes away from your motivation? Yes there is a way. And it is simpler than you may think.
Just don't share your thoughts with everybody.
I can almost hear some saying "but I want to share it, I want to let people know what I am doing!" relax, you can. I'm just suggesting to share your thoughts with likeminded people. Likeminded people like most of the users on this forum, or likeminded people in your family and your friends.
Choose Wisely Who You Tell Your Thoughts
If you look at the convo with the family at the beginning, who would you choose to share your thoughts with? The decision is not pretty hard, the only one that shared my point of view and showed real interest in my business was my brother's girlfriend. She's the only one I showed the website in detail out of my friends and my family. Most of my friends don't even know that I work on a business at all, and my family knows that I do, but with no details. Without this forum, my desire for sharing my excitement would probably kill me, but thanks to this forum I have the opportunity to talk about those topics with likeminded people.
In my experience it feels way better to move in silence, instead of letting everybody know every step you take. Let your actions speak for you, and not your words which most people won't believe anyway.
Disclaimer: Even if it may seem like the opposite, I have a very happy and supporting family, and the best friends I could imagine. My friends and my family may not always understand my mindsets, due to what they been told since their childhood and how they grew up, but they definitely support me, whatever I do and I'm very thankful for them.
Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member:
Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)
Last edited:
Membership Required: Upgrade to Expose Nearly 1,000,000 Posts
Ready to Unleash the Millionaire Entrepreneur in You?
Become a member of the Fastlane Forum, the private community founded by best-selling author and multi-millionaire entrepreneur MJ DeMarco. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has poured his heart and soul into the Fastlane Forum, helping entrepreneurs reclaim their time, win their financial freedom, and live their best life.
With more than 39,000 posts packed with insights, strategies, and advice, you’re not just a member—you’re stepping into MJ’s inner-circle, a place where you’ll never be left alone.
Become a member and gain immediate access to...
- Active Community: Ever join a community only to find it DEAD? Not at Fastlane! As you can see from our home page, life-changing content is posted dozens of times daily.
- Exclusive Insights: Direct access to MJ DeMarco’s daily contributions and wisdom.
- Powerful Networking Opportunities: Connect with a diverse group of successful entrepreneurs who can offer mentorship, collaboration, and opportunities.
- Proven Strategies: Learn from the best in the business, with actionable advice and strategies that can accelerate your success.
"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with the most..."
Who are you surrounding yourself with? Surround yourself with millionaire success. Join Fastlane today!
Join Today
