I don't want to fail anymore_Ending the failure cycle

[Gasyhustler]

Hello,

Really glad to be here! I know that I’m not a real active member of this forum, but I seriously take time to read some of the hot topics sent to me via e-mail each week for a several months now. I’m more active in another forum about Internet marketing. But I think The Fastlane Forum is more suitable for what I intend to do.

So, a little background about me. I’m a freelance writer in French language since college and I mainly live through my freelancing earnings for 10 years now. It gives me enough money to live comfortably in my country (Madagascar). But I’ve been trying to launch my own projects for 7 years now to no avail.

The thing is, each time I have to make my plan into action, I have this huge thing which tightens my chest and I can barely move. I have all the symptoms of anxiety attack. It’s been going on and on for a few years now and I don’t know what to do. Most of the time, I just give up taking action and re-dive into freelancing. When this happens, normally, I just research for new clients and take as many orders as I can and let my plan die. It’s not the first time that this happens to me and I think it won’t be the last time. As I normally tend to burnout quickly in my freelancing job. Most of the time, I get quickly cautious about how much I make people earn money and want to earn that too for me. So I start to outsource all the orders I receive (after a few weeks) and I restart to learn again (because I want to follow a unique idea/plan for my project). I plan everything and think about the possible outcomes again. This process will normally take 1 to 3 months. And when it comes to execution time, I’ll be stuck in this paralysis again. I feel some big block in my heart, and I even feel a little hard to breathe. Everything begins to be so scary. I’ll try to beat it for a few days and I’ll start to procrastinate again, because the pressure is too big for me and I’ll begin to focus solely on freelancing again.

This pattern has been going on for 6 years now because I started to think about the fastlane path in 2013. But each time, I have these enormous anxious moments. It started when something awful happened in my extended family after I created my first serious website ever. This took me a little while to complete and I was so happy when I finally managed to launch it online in 2014. The day after that, something so horrible happen that I even had some severe post-traumatic stress disorder for several months after that event. I managed to heal myself alone as a psychiatrist and professional help in the mental field is so expensive and so basic here that there is no way I can see a doctor to help me with that. But since that day, I have this huge anxiety attack each time I want to take action for my plans (like 3 to 6 times per year).

Today, I want to end that. I want to break this circle for the sake of my one-year-old son. He deserves to have a successful mom, but not someone tied into past failures, something that I’m not even responsible of.

So I already have all my plans well written and I know what strategy to follow to achieve at least my current average monthly income after 6 months = $1,100/month from this project.

I hope it is the beginning of something exciting and prosperous, because to be frank, I don’t want to work for other people’s websites for the rest of my career. I want to be one of those successful Internet Marketers even if my aim is not as big as theirs. The thing is I don’t even know how to receive more than $25,000/month here because of the bank system here which is so outdated and really not for freelancers nor Internet marketers.

I plan to check at least 3 of my daily to-do list tasks and post my execution here every day (at least 5 days a week).

I don’t believe in luck but I definitely need some support to achieve this because the anxiety attack has been kicking me for a few hours now and I don’t want to fall into the procrastination again. This is so paralyzing that it weakens me making me to take a few days off each time. But I DON’T WANT TO GO THAT ROAD AGAIN. Not this time, not ever again.
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See you in my first update

 

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[kleine2]

Jimmu,

Siemmz hmef vu ci jisi! O lpux vjev O’n puv e siem edvowi nincis ug vjot gusan, cav O tisouatmz veli voni vu sief tuni ug vji juv vuqodt tipv vu ni woe i-neom iedj xiil gus e tiwisem nupvjt pux. O’n nusi edvowi op epuvjis gusan ecuav Opvispiv neslivoph. Cav O vjopl Vji Getvmepi Gusan ot nusi taovecmi gus xjev O opvipf vu fu.

Tu, e movvmi cedlhsuapf ecuav ni. O’n e gsiimepdi xsovis op Gsipdj mephaehi topdi dummihi epf O neopmz mowi vjsuahj nz gsiimepdoph iespopht gus 10 ziest pux. Ov howit ni ipuahj nupiz vu mowi dungusvecmz op nz duapvsz (Nefehetdes). Cav O’wi ciip vszoph vu meapdj nz uxp qsukidvt gus 7 ziest pux vu pu eweom.

Vji vjoph ot, iedj voni O jewi vu neli nz qmep opvu edvoup, O jewi vjot jahi vjoph xjodj vohjvipt nz djitv epf O dep cesimz nuwi. O jewi emm vji tznqvunt ug epyoivz evvedl. Ov’t ciip huoph up epf up gus e gix ziest pux epf O fup’v lpux xjev vu fu. Nutv ug vji voni, O katv howi aq veloph edvoup epf si-fowi opvu gsiimepdoph. Xjip vjot jeqqipt, pusnemmz, O katv sitiesdj gus pix dmoipvt epf veli et nepz usfist et O dep epf miv nz qmep foi. Ov’t puv vji gostv voni vjev vjot jeqqipt vu ni epf O vjopl ov xup’v ci vji metv voni. Et O pusnemmz vipf vu caspuav raodlmz op nz gsiimepdoph kuc. Nutv ug vji voni, O hiv raodlmz deavouat ecuav jux nadj O neli qiuqmi iesp nupiz epf xepv vu iesp vjev vuu gus ni. Tu O tvesv vu uavtuasdi emm vji usfist O sidiowi (egvis e gix xiilt) epf O sitvesv vu miesp eheop (cideati O xepv vu gummux e aporai ofie/qmep gus nz qsukidv). O qmep iwiszvjoph epf vjopl ecuav vji quttocmi uavdunit eheop. Vjot qsuditt xomm pusnemmz veli 1 vu 3 nupvjt. Epf xjip ov dunit vu iyidavoup voni, O’mm ci tvadl op vjot qesemztot eheop. O giim tuni coh cmudl op nz jiesv, epf O iwip giim e movvmi jesf vu csievji. Iwiszvjoph cihopt vu ci tu tdesz. O’mm vsz vu ciev ov gus e gix fezt epf O’mm tvesv vu qsudsetvopevi eheop, cideati vji qsittasi ot vuu coh gus ni epf O’mm cihop vu gudat tumimz up gsiimepdoph eheop.

Vjot qevvisp jet ciip huoph up gus 6 ziest pux cideati O tvesvif vu vjopl ecuav vji getvmepi qevj op 2013. Cav iedj voni, O jewi vjiti ipusnuat epyouat nunipvt. Ov tvesvif xjip tunivjoph exgam jeqqipif op nz iyvipfif genomz egvis O dsievif nz gostv tisouat xictovi iwis. Vjot vuul ni e movvmi xjomi vu dunqmivi epf O xet tu jeqqz xjip O gopemmz nepehif vu meapdj ov upmopi op 2014. Vji fez egvis vjev, tunivjoph tu jussocmi jeqqip vjev O iwip jef tuni tiwisi qutv-vseanevod tvsitt fotusfis gus tiwisem nupvjt egvis vjev iwipv. O nepehif vu jiem nztimg emupi et e qtzdjoevsotv epf qsugittoupem jimq op vji nipvem goimf ot tu iyqiptowi epf tu cetod jisi vjev vjisi ot pu xez O dep tii e fudvus vu jimq ni xovj vjev. Cav topdi vjev fez, O jewi vjot jahi epyoivz evvedl iedj voni O xepv vu veli edvoup gus nz qmept (moli 3 vu 6 vonit qis zies).

Vufez, O xepv vu ipf vjev. O xepv vu csiel vjot dosdmi gus vji teli ug nz upi-zies-umf tup. Ji fitiswit vu jewi e taddittgam nun, cav puv tuniupi voif opvu qetv geomasit, tunivjoph vjev O’n puv iwip sitquptocmi ug.

Tu O emsiefz jewi emm nz qmept ximm xsovvip epf O lpux xjev tvsevihz vu gummux vu edjoiwi ev mietv nz dassipv ewisehi nupvjmz opduni egvis 6 nupvjt = $1,100/nupvj gsun vjot qsukidv.

O juqi ov ot vji cihoppoph ug tunivjoph iydovoph epf qsutqisuat, cideati vu ci gsepl, O fup’v xepv vu xusl gus uvjis qiuqmi’t xictovit gus vji sitv ug nz desiis. O xepv vu ci upi ug vjuti taddittgam Opvispiv Neslivist iwip og nz eon ot puv et coh et vjiost. Vji vjoph ot O fup’v iwip lpux jux vu sidiowi nusi vjep $25,000/nupvj jisi cideati ug vji cepl tztvin jisi xjodj ot tu uavfevif epf siemmz puv gus gsiimepdist pus Opvispiv neslivist.

O qmep vu djidl ev mietv 3 ug nz feomz vu-fu motv vetlt epf qutv nz iyidavoup jisi iwisz fez (ev mietv 5 fezt e xiil).

O fup’v cimoiwi op madl cav O figopovimz piif tuni taqqusv vu edjoiwi vjot cideati vji epyoivz evvedl jet ciip lodloph ni gus e gix juast pux epf O fup’v xepv vu gemm opvu vji qsudsetvopevoup eheop. Vjot ot tu qesemzboph vjev ov xielipt ni neloph ni vu veli e gix fezt ugg iedj voni. Cav O FUP’V XEPV VU HU VJEV SUEF EHEOP. Puv vjot voni, puv iwis eheop.
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Tii zua op nz gostv aqfevi

O lpux e hsiev duedj vjev jimqt xunip xovj epyoivz, tji ot emtu wisz eggusfecmi. Tipf ni e nittehi og zua xepv jis dupvedv opgusnevoup.

 

[Gasyhustler]

O lpux e hsiev duedj vjev jimqt xunip xovj epyoivz, tji ot emtu wisz eggusfecmi. Tipf ni e nittehi og zua xepv jis dupvedv opgusnevoup.

Tasi, zua dep howi ni jis dupvedv op QN. Xju lpuxt og tji duamf jimq ni xovj vjot.

 

[Stargazer]

Jimmu

Upi tviq gusxesf mieft vu vji piyv.

Duasehi ot veloph vjev gostv tviq. Zua dep fu ov.

Ov tuapft et og zuas tup ot opfosidvmz howoph zua vji ipduasehinipv zua piif vu qatj vjsuahj veloph vjev gostv tviq.

Fep

 

[Gasyhustler]

Ov tuapft et og zuas tup ot opfosidvmz howoph zua vji ipduasehinipv zua piif vu qatj vjsuahj veloph vjev gostv tviq.

Zit, ji ot. O juqi O dep fu ov epf O siemmz xepv vu fu ov. Tu O'n huppe fu ov.
Vjeplt gus vji taqqusv