Hey everyone,
actually, I wanted to wait until I have read the books, and then introduce myself here. To then be able to talk properly. But after reading I would have had to think about the books first, let everything sink in. And, actually, I wanted to become an INSIDERS in 2 weeks anyway, so why not wait until then. But you know what? That would have been exactly what I always do. Wait and think about it, "first I have to do XYZ, BUT THEN I'll do it!"
Story of my life.
So, here I am. And a little disclaimer beforehand: This all will probably sound more mimimi than it is. I tell my before-story, partly it sounds like mimimi, but right now I am not mimimi.
I'm going to elaborate a bit so that people can understand my previous (alleged) problems.
Already as a student, I was "lazy", disinterested in class and I was bored. I was only good at the subjects I liked. I have never been good with authorities telling me what to do and how and what would be best for me.
The phrase I heard the most in my life was "what you could (have) become....".
For my parents and teachers, I was always either too fast or too slow, too lazy or over-motivated, too crazy or too dull. (Today I would say it was/is ADHD, in the past, it was just "different". I found myself very much in Barbara Sher's books about Scanners when I was 18.)
I skipped school for a while, then was removed and had to make up my degree at a night school. Then at 18, I had my first FTE. But the other way around:
Now I had to finally get my act together and not just bring shame to my family! Not do what I wanted, what I enjoy, but do what brings money, and what is reasonable!
Great idea. Not.
Fast forward to today (+ 13 years and 5 days; I'm now 32):
So why am I here (only) now?
After multiple sick leaves for weeks in 2017 and 2018, I was on sick leave for over half a year in 2019/2020 for depression, burnout, and anxiety disorder. And also in therapy. Not because of the work itself, but because of my attitude towards it. You'd think that would have made a good FTE, but not only did I just not have the a$$ in my pants to pull it off. But at least I kept letting it slip, unobtrusively, to bosses and colleagues that I didn't want to work there anymore. And the company wanted to cut jobs anyway. And I was on sick leave for a long time, so... I was given notice. To the end of 2020, released as of July 2020, severance pay in the mid-5-digit range (after taxes but before paying off debt.
If my (ex-)company hadn't done that, I don't know if I ever would have made it out of there myself.
I don't know how I got onto Unscripted , but I started reading it, bought Fastlane after a quarter of the book, and am now finishing reading that first, then continuing to read Unscripted as well. I feel the FTE 'fermenting' inside me.
I am in a good position that my severance package will keep me afloat for a few months and I can focus on my business idea(s).
I have a few already but am still sorting them out, the books have completely messed up my plans (thanks for that @MJ DeMarco , no irony).
I'm giving myself planning time until the end of the month. To read the books, make some notes on them, think about the "INSIDERS" and give my plans a bit of shape. And to let me know exactly how much the severance pay will be.
But JUST until the end of the month, no longer, otherwise I'll be stuck in planning rigidity again. Not again!
Thanks for reading, have a great day and stay safe!
actually, I wanted to wait until I have read the books, and then introduce myself here. To then be able to talk properly. But after reading I would have had to think about the books first, let everything sink in. And, actually, I wanted to become an INSIDERS in 2 weeks anyway, so why not wait until then. But you know what? That would have been exactly what I always do. Wait and think about it, "first I have to do XYZ, BUT THEN I'll do it!"
Story of my life.
So, here I am. And a little disclaimer beforehand: This all will probably sound more mimimi than it is. I tell my before-story, partly it sounds like mimimi, but right now I am not mimimi.
I'm going to elaborate a bit so that people can understand my previous (alleged) problems.
Already as a student, I was "lazy", disinterested in class and I was bored. I was only good at the subjects I liked. I have never been good with authorities telling me what to do and how and what would be best for me.
The phrase I heard the most in my life was "what you could (have) become....".
For my parents and teachers, I was always either too fast or too slow, too lazy or over-motivated, too crazy or too dull. (Today I would say it was/is ADHD, in the past, it was just "different". I found myself very much in Barbara Sher's books about Scanners when I was 18.)
I skipped school for a while, then was removed and had to make up my degree at a night school. Then at 18, I had my first FTE. But the other way around:
Now I had to finally get my act together and not just bring shame to my family! Not do what I wanted, what I enjoy, but do what brings money, and what is reasonable!
Great idea. Not.
Fast forward to today (+ 13 years and 5 days; I'm now 32):
- I did an apprenticeship as an office clerk. A shortened two-year training instead of three, because it pissed me off so much.
- I worked for 11 years in a big pharmaceutical company, first in events, then in IT. VMWare, mobile solutions, apps, smartphones. The "manager part", less the deep, technical stuff. First as an external for a pittance and then as an internal for (at the end) six figures. Euro. For 40h per week.
- I read all the self-help books in the world (ok, almost), but none could really help me. I've read 120 books every year for probably 14 years and about half of them were self-help books.
- I've also bought endless online courses and, if anything, just started. When I was 18 I started to build up (consumer) debt (at that time I earned 200€/month, fun...) (typical Sidewalk). I will pay the last big installment at the end of this month. And then I will be free. And that won't happen to me again. I spontaneously thought of the goal to be able to buy a house in Luxembourg (I live in Germany atm but we plan to move to Luxembourg this year)cash in 5 years because I will never ever in my life get into that kind of debt again. Period.
- During the last 7 years, I have learned many things besides work. I have studied business economy (marketing), I am a certified fitness trainer, nutrition coach, sports mental coach, stress- and burnout coach, I have done online courses in online/digital marketing, online writing, game development, coding, and more.
- I started my own business as a writer and fitness trainer on the side, fitness training hasn't been going anywhere since COVID (I worked at a Crossfit box and I hate giving classes via Zoom) and writing doesn't pay much either (ok, haven't done much 'marketing' for it).
So why am I here (only) now?
After multiple sick leaves for weeks in 2017 and 2018, I was on sick leave for over half a year in 2019/2020 for depression, burnout, and anxiety disorder. And also in therapy. Not because of the work itself, but because of my attitude towards it. You'd think that would have made a good FTE, but not only did I just not have the a$$ in my pants to pull it off. But at least I kept letting it slip, unobtrusively, to bosses and colleagues that I didn't want to work there anymore. And the company wanted to cut jobs anyway. And I was on sick leave for a long time, so... I was given notice. To the end of 2020, released as of July 2020, severance pay in the mid-5-digit range (after taxes but before paying off debt.
If my (ex-)company hadn't done that, I don't know if I ever would have made it out of there myself.
I don't know how I got onto Unscripted , but I started reading it, bought Fastlane after a quarter of the book, and am now finishing reading that first, then continuing to read Unscripted as well. I feel the FTE 'fermenting' inside me.
I am in a good position that my severance package will keep me afloat for a few months and I can focus on my business idea(s).
I have a few already but am still sorting them out, the books have completely messed up my plans (thanks for that @MJ DeMarco , no irony).
I'm giving myself planning time until the end of the month. To read the books, make some notes on them, think about the "INSIDERS" and give my plans a bit of shape. And to let me know exactly how much the severance pay will be.
But JUST until the end of the month, no longer, otherwise I'll be stuck in planning rigidity again. Not again!
Thanks for reading, have a great day and stay safe!
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