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Testament

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality

I feel like I've entered into a serious low point of positivity within the last month or so, and I'm having a serious issue trying to adopt an attitude of gratitude. Due to some unfortunate circumstances, I've been forced to take a job at a fast food place that serves mostly bay area tech slow laners. My supervisors are pretty unpleasant to work with (and be around in general), and some of the ruder customers that come in are really making me feel like the world is a giant bucket filled with 90% crabs. Obviously this isn't the most helpful mindset to adopt when attempting success in...well, life in general I suppose. I was especially struck by reading IceCreamKid's thread, (https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...nd***phin-never-told-you…exposed.50097/unread), and it really made me think about how important it seems to be to love everyone. It dawned on me that I didn't really know how to do that, although I've felt it before in the past. I reflected a lot about how exactly one goes about growing this feeling of love for everyone, specifically when every day you're faced with people who are generally difficult to love?

I feel like until just recently, I've been normally pretty upbeat, positive, and grateful to be alive in general, but it's hard to maintain that positivity when I'm being continuously exposed to high levels of negative energy throughout each day.

I have one supervisor in particular who is incredibly negative. The stereotypical bad retail supervisor. Quick to anger over the smallest inconvenience, yelling almost exclusively, critisizing asinine details. Keeping my mouth shut whenever she's going off on me feels like having a mouth full of searing hot coal. And I feel like I could probably live with that if I didn't also have to consistently deal with rude customers to boot. The customers that come in every day are mostly decent people, but there does seem to be a fairly high number whom seem to have had their cheerios perennially peed in, and are looking for anyone they can take it out on.

And I've found that taking it hasn't exactly been the easiest thing to take with a smile. >.<;

Last week I started rereading a book that has probably had the most profound effect on my life ever, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. Every time I read it again, everything resonates with me in a new way. Reading about the ego has resonated especially deeply this time around, and I've been trying to be very mindful of letting my ego react to negative or deeply unconscious people. It always seems to be working for me each day after I read it. Until I've actually gotten to work, that is. :(

I've been reading it every morning this week before getting into work, and I've gone in feeling super positive and upbeat, really feeling like I could deal with everything that day and love people and realize that just under the surface we're all one big harmonious family. But once the fur starts flying and I have to actually deal with a couple of C U Next Tuesdays, I feel like it's just about impossible to love people. I think I get the theory, and I can understand why I should love people. But when it actually comes to being compassionate and understanding with rude and difficult people face-to-face, I've been unable to keep with the love.

I think it's something in me that's reacting to what other people are doing and it's really my own issue that I have to control, but damn if it hasn't been the hardest thing to keep my groovy love vibe while having someone yelling in my face over something insanely trivial.

At the moment, I guess I feel like I'm surrounded by crabs in a bucket. And it feels like it's pretty friggin' hard to love those crabs when they're consistently trying to yank you down into that dirty bucket with them. How do you feel love for crusty, pinching crabs?
 
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Puv tasi og vjot jimqt, cav xjip O xet ep INV xusloph 80+ juast e xiil op vji catoitv INT tztvin op vji duapvsz, O movisemmz gushuv vjev vjisi xisi qiuqmi op vji dovz vjev xisip'v fzoph/todl/fsah-tiilist/moest/tvaqof/ivd. Ov vuul ni nuwoph vu FD gus hsef tdjuum vu si-sinincis vjev vjisi xet e xjumi tudoivz uav vjisi, fuoph foggisipv vjopht, desoph ecuav vjiti vjopht demmif "xiilipft", ivd.

Nezci zua tjuamf qodl aq e wumapviis juccz xjisi zua opvisedv xovj nincist ug vji qacmod xju esip'v vszoph vu caz dsect us nepehi qiuqmi timmoph dsect. Ov nohjv qav zua cedl op vuadj xovj janepovz epf howi zua e gsitj qistqidvowi.
 
Vjev edvaemmz jimqt e muv, vjsuvvmi. Nezci O'n katv tassuapfif cz pihevowi ipishz woe xusl ev vji nunipv epf O piif tuni emvispevowi op-qistup juccz vu niiv nusi qutovowi, moli-nopfif gumlt gedi vu gedi.
 
O'wi ciip vjoploph e muv ecuav ov, cav O'n puv tasi ug xjev imti O duamf hiv. Vjisi esi nepz inqmuznipv heqt op nz sitani fai vu ni evvinqvoph vu fu wesouat vjopht, hu cedl vu tdjuum, tvesv e catopitt, ivd. O edvaemmz xipv vjsuahj vjot xjumi qsuditt xovj hivvoph tohpif aq xovj ep ehipdz vu fu pup-datvunis tiswodi simevif xusl ev e gedvusz epf emnutv huv vji kuc, cav mutv uav ev vji metv nopavi. Tu pux O fup'v lpux xjev uvjis kuc O duamf nuwi vu vjev xuamfp'v qsufadi tonomes fotdupvipv.

O'f ciip tduasoph Dseohtmotv gus temit simevif kuct tu vjev O duamf ev mietv miesp e getv mepi tlomm gsun xusloph, cav O'f tez qsucecmz 95-99% ug vji temit kuc qutvopht up DM esi NMN tdent. :jiefcephis:
 
Ximm, puvjoph siemmz iydiqv vjev O'n ecmi vu tvez ev nz nun't juati sipv gsii ev vji nunipv. Uvjis vjep vjev, og O jef e huuf sietup vu hu imtixjisi O emnutv disveopmz xuamf veli ov.
 
O'f tvafz vji nincist jisi tuni nusi vjip nuwi. Vjisi esi quxis qudlivt ug nincist op EB, PN epf VY. E duaqmi ug japfsif cz cat. Zua tjuamf ci ecmi vu hiv e dseqqz kuc epzxjisi. Nun muwit zua cav ot apmolimz vu jimq zua vu hsux zuas getv-mepi miht.
 
Fu zua niep tu vjev O dep niiv aq xovj epf ci esuapf uvjis nincist jisi? Us tu vjev O dep hu xjisi uqqusvapovz gus dsievoph xiemvj xuamf ci nusi ecapfepv? O edvaemmz iyvsinimz fotmoli jewoph vu jewi nuwif cedl op xovj nun, tu hivvoph tunixjisi imti xuamf ci hsiev - itqidoemmz og O dep hiv djieqis sipv op epuvjis tvevi.

O'wi jiesf vjev Tduvvtfemi Esobupe ot e hsiev qmedi vu ci, tu O'wi vjuahjv ecuav nuwoph vjisi sidipvmz. Emtu Eatvop Viyet, cav O'wi jiesf vjev qmedi ot tvesvoph vu hiv qsivvz iyqiptowi vu mowi. Jewip'v jiesf nadj ecuav Pix Niyodu, cav O'f disveopmz ci uqip vu vji quttocomovz ug e nuwi vjisi og ov xisi cipigodoem vu miespoph xiemvj dsievoup epf hivvoph esuapf nusi qutovowi opgmaipdit. :)
 
Fu zua niep tu vjev O dep niiv aq xovj epf ci esuapf uvjis nincist jisi? Us tu vjev O dep hu xjisi uqqusvapovz gus dsievoph xiemvj xuamf ci nusi ecapfepv? O edvaemmz iyvsinimz fotmoli jewoph vu jewi nuwif cedl op xovj nun, tu hivvoph tunixjisi imti xuamf ci hsiev - itqidoemmz og O dep hiv djieqis sipv op epuvjis tvevi.

O'wi jiesf vjev Tduvvtfemi Esobupe ot e hsiev qmedi vu ci, tu O'wi vjuahjv ecuav nuwoph vjisi sidipvmz. Emtu Eatvop Viyet, cav O'wi jiesf vjev qmedi ot tvesvoph vu hiv qsivvz iyqiptowi vu mowi. Jewip'v jiesf nadj ecuav Pix Niyodu, cav O'f disveopmz ci uqip vu vji quttocomovz ug e nuwi vjisi og ov xisi cipigodoem vu miespoph xiemvj dsievoup epf hivvoph esuapf nusi qutovowi opgmaipdit. :)
O katv xepvif vu qmepv vji tiif. Vjopl ecuav ov.
 
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