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I'm posting this because I think I could get some great feedback and maybe it could help just one person.
During this summer I broke up with my girlfriend. Reason: too much arguing, her attitude did not improve the way I saw fit.
I saw her once during the Summer. She begged and pleaded for me to take her back. She was so heart broken. However, I stood firm and said no. While we were together, she always talked about having kids and getting married. All....the....time. I told her NOT YET. Lets get the first step right. Fight less. This was my logic I guess.
Fast forward to the beginning of September. I went to go see her. She was back in college which is closer to me. We were physical. I asked her: "If I wanted to, would you want to get back together?" She said, "I dont really think so..." This was almost comical to me because I had so much control and leverage. SHE WAS DEAD SERIOUS. I broke her heart.
Since...I have been trying to get her back. Fast forward to now. (Wait).
Between October and December now. She has really been cold toward me and I can feel her bitterness. I gave her time. I did not talk to her for 3 weeks straight. And I had to work my way up to gain confidence again to just talk her. I was scared as SHIT to call her. I did.
I kept the conversations quick. Recently (last Saturday), I saw her for the first time in 3 months. It took me all I had to just ask if she would like to sit down and have a cup of coffee. She said, "yes I would do that." I was so freaking happy.
I saw her. She shook my hand when she saw me. She didnt really like me too much because I gave up on her. It ended up being around an 1hr and it was good. She laughed and she was receptive and talking to me freely. She asked me if I was seeing anyone and many people tried being with her. I took her back home.
I gave her a small gift which was a surprise. She blushed. She hugged me...and she didnt let go. I asked to use her bathroom. She ended up kissing me before I left. She gestured her eyes back to her room. But I did not take the bait. I left. We texted back and forth that night. I was SO HAPPY.
Next. That night, I asked her a question THAT I SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED, "Did you have sex with anyone else?" She said, "Yes." It killed me inside. Ripped me to shreds. I called her on the phone and she picked up. Our back and forth ended at 4am. I was balling on the phone and she was really shocked, "Will....I did not know you wanted me still. I did not know you still cared this much. You gave up on me and I was single. I don't regret it. I do still love you but I can't gaurantee you anything. I do still love you Will. I do."
In my mind, I felt as if I lost a lot of leverage. I was so happy she was willing to meet up with me and that we kissed and that she opened up again a little bit. Then I asked her THAT question. She was honest. My emotions spiraled down and now Im a mess. Feel so WEIGHED DOWN. This was just a few days ago.
She tells me. Will im going to have fun. Will I dont want to be with ANYONE. I was depressed. Your trying to make me feel guilty. I dont trust you. I dont feel anything. She is a different person. A little more carelessness. She is still hurt and now I am hurt along right with her.
I love this girl. I want her back. I had progress and had a setback. Do I still have a chance? Emotionally, im hurt by the fact she did it with someone else. Ironically, I still want to be with her. I dont care.
Thoughts....
Love this forum and the value I get from it and figured many of you give some good insight.
During this summer I broke up with my girlfriend. Reason: too much arguing, her attitude did not improve the way I saw fit.
I saw her once during the Summer. She begged and pleaded for me to take her back. She was so heart broken. However, I stood firm and said no. While we were together, she always talked about having kids and getting married. All....the....time. I told her NOT YET. Lets get the first step right. Fight less. This was my logic I guess.
Fast forward to the beginning of September. I went to go see her. She was back in college which is closer to me. We were physical. I asked her: "If I wanted to, would you want to get back together?" She said, "I dont really think so..." This was almost comical to me because I had so much control and leverage. SHE WAS DEAD SERIOUS. I broke her heart.
Since...I have been trying to get her back. Fast forward to now. (Wait).
Between October and December now. She has really been cold toward me and I can feel her bitterness. I gave her time. I did not talk to her for 3 weeks straight. And I had to work my way up to gain confidence again to just talk her. I was scared as SHIT to call her. I did.
I kept the conversations quick. Recently (last Saturday), I saw her for the first time in 3 months. It took me all I had to just ask if she would like to sit down and have a cup of coffee. She said, "yes I would do that." I was so freaking happy.
I saw her. She shook my hand when she saw me. She didnt really like me too much because I gave up on her. It ended up being around an 1hr and it was good. She laughed and she was receptive and talking to me freely. She asked me if I was seeing anyone and many people tried being with her. I took her back home.
I gave her a small gift which was a surprise. She blushed. She hugged me...and she didnt let go. I asked to use her bathroom. She ended up kissing me before I left. She gestured her eyes back to her room. But I did not take the bait. I left. We texted back and forth that night. I was SO HAPPY.
Next. That night, I asked her a question THAT I SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED, "Did you have sex with anyone else?" She said, "Yes." It killed me inside. Ripped me to shreds. I called her on the phone and she picked up. Our back and forth ended at 4am. I was balling on the phone and she was really shocked, "Will....I did not know you wanted me still. I did not know you still cared this much. You gave up on me and I was single. I don't regret it. I do still love you but I can't gaurantee you anything. I do still love you Will. I do."
In my mind, I felt as if I lost a lot of leverage. I was so happy she was willing to meet up with me and that we kissed and that she opened up again a little bit. Then I asked her THAT question. She was honest. My emotions spiraled down and now Im a mess. Feel so WEIGHED DOWN. This was just a few days ago.
She tells me. Will im going to have fun. Will I dont want to be with ANYONE. I was depressed. Your trying to make me feel guilty. I dont trust you. I dont feel anything. She is a different person. A little more carelessness. She is still hurt and now I am hurt along right with her.
I love this girl. I want her back. I had progress and had a setback. Do I still have a chance? Emotionally, im hurt by the fact she did it with someone else. Ironically, I still want to be with her. I dont care.
Thoughts....
Love this forum and the value I get from it and figured many of you give some good insight.
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