We think that what we know exactly what we want. That we are pursuing a clear “goal” of success.
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Point A to point B! Simple! Right? If I work hard enough, long enough, then “I will become awesome”. There are so many inspiring stories to prove that “It’s possible!”.
So I have some questions before I reveal the real answer which has to do with how our minds work. I guarantee you this understanding will help you in every facet of your life
Questions:
See what is happening?
- What if you become 90% of who you want to be? Would that be good enough?
- What if you become 60% of who you want to be? It’s 40% short of your goal, but still 60% more than what you have now. Would that be good enough?
- What if you achieve 100% but it takes long? Would that be good enough?
- What if your desires/priorities change when you are at 40% - and you become very good, but at totally different things? Would that be good enough?
- What if you become much better in those subjects you want, but find hundreds of people who are much much better than you, been at them much much longer than you? Would that be good enough?
- What if you start getting what you want…but others say “abc is useless - you should have invested your efforts in xyz instead”. Would that(Not “Should that”) be good enough?
- What if you get great at a subject you want (say wildlife research) but it does not give you a high paying job anywhere? Would that(Not “Should that”) be good enough?
My ‘idea of success’ is not a real goal that is crystal clear. It is a projection of the flaws I have right now. Its definition is based on the opposite of all the things that make me think “I am NOT awesome” right now.
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Thoughts that say “You are not awesome”, “You are not good enough”, “You are useless” do not feel good. Lets call them thought category “Blah A”(I am not using the word “Negative thoughts”. It makes them seem real, as if thoughts have a “type”) So we think another thought “I want to be awesome”. Let’s call it thought category “Blah B”.
This feels better, but then the Blah A thoughts come rushing back. We feel bad again. We need to sustain Blah B enough… to feel good…right now.
So we read more inspiring stories, Facebook quotes, rags to riches stories. This helps us produce and sustain more Blah B thoughts that “I can”, “I will”, “If she can then I can”.
Somebody tells us that there is some theory that says “You become what you think”, “Positive attracts positive” and so on. The “I will” gets stronger. Blah B gets bigger.
We feel better for a little longer. Hence we think it’s working.
Is it really working?
If your aim was to feel better by changing your thoughts - it is.
If your aim was to change things in reality - then it’s not.
The progress we think we are making is nothing but a battle between equally imaginary and illusory thoughts blah A and blah B.
NOTE: Im not the author, i didnt write this, i found this on quora and wanted to share it.
Source: https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-become-who-I-really-want-to-be/answer/Vijayraj-Kamat
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