Sorry for long post, but there are a few questions and I really need advice:
I feel like my life has been a mess. I was born into a mess, nothing I can do about it, however, my current problems are because of my choices and I really want to fix them and continue on making the right choices.
I hate to look at my past because of all the hurt and mistakes. But at the same time, I look at it to see my journey to try to make my future decisions. I feel that I am at a crossroads right now. At my previous crossroads I have made nothing but bad choices and I am still paying for a couple of them and don’t know how to get out of them.
I am writing on this forum because I don’t want to make mistakes anymore and hope that someone more intelligent and experienced can help me avoid making more mistakes and guide me in the right direction. Unfortunately, I feel that my situation is complex as it encompasses mindset and business and personal decisions.
So I will try to make this short.
Born into a dysfunctional family who kept telling me how selfish and lazy I was. It isn’t until recently I learned that they kept saying that to only get me to do what they wanted. They were very emotionally abusive and it left me being the person with a sign on my forehead saying, “use meâ€. This has caused me to make decisions that I shouldn’t have and brings me to problems I have today and want to fix.
I married a man that I thought loved me, I still think he loves me, but I don’t think he is right for me to be successful. He is not supportive, although he says he is. I have been a work at home mom for over ten years and have made lots of money and have been able to be home for our kids, however, his father always told him that my business was not a real business and convinced my husband to tell me to get real jobs which hindered my business. My husband also loved to spend the money I made on partying often spending more money than we had.
I have closed that business and went back to school to get a master’s, which now is costing me $80,000 in student loans all so that I could get a real job like my husband and his father wanted. However, the economy crashed and there are no good jobs to get. So, I decided to start my own website business and do what I am good at which is entrepreneurism and ignore my father-in-law and my husband when it comes to my professional choices.
Because I am not selfish or lazy as my family tried to make me believe, I really did want to get more involved in the community and joined the board of our HOA and the PTA of my son’s school.
My problem and decisions to make:
I love but am not happy with my website business because it is taking too much work and time to get anywhere. I want to start something else but not sure what. I would love to go back to my passion I had as a child to become an author but I am not sure if it is possible to turn that into fastlane. What if my writing sucks? (Please, don’t judge my writing based on this forum post.) I wrote some stuff that I thinks sucks but some of my stuff I can’t even believe I wrote. But I am hearing my husband and grandmother who has said my writing sucks, but looking back, my husband hates to read and my grandmother hates my genre. What do I do??? I don’t want to make another bad choice and I do have those student loans to pay off.
Another business idea I had was inspired my Shark Tank. I am very good at marketing and got my master’s in Internet Marketing. I was thinking of asking for a percentage of the ownership of businesses for in return I help them market and grow their business. I guess this will be like working on commission, but since I can’t think of a great product of my own maybe I can leverage someone else’s. Thoughts???
I enjoy doing the PTA. My HOA really needs help, but the president is a real chauvinist A-hole. I am the only girl on the board and he is a control freak that takes over all my projects which would be fine with me but he is also a screw-up and can’t do anything right. He is also rude to me and tries to embarrass me in meetings and other women homeowners who showed interest in joining the board change their minds when they see how he is. I want to quit but no other woman will join because of him and none of the other men wants to organize the community events which have been ignored for 4 years and the homeowners want more events but the woman are scared to join the board. I really want to quit but thanks to my families conditioning I feel like if I do it is selfish because I know they need me. I hate that president, and want to quit, and don’t know what to do. Can someone help make me feel better about quitting? LOL.
Another problem I think I have is self-sabotage. I know that I can make a lot of money as I did before with my previous business. At the moment, we are good with money; we can be content and happy. However, of course I will like to be self sufficient from my husband and have more money to be financially free and secure. However, my husband loves to spend and is more driven by brands and ego. We both want to travel, but last year he has actually suggested going to Ireland with his brother and not me and his kids. Neither of us has been to Europe so why would he suggest this as his first Europe trip? He says that he can’t wait for me to make more money so that we can travel and have fun and he can buy whatever he wants without thinking about the cost. This mindset and his past money behaviors worry me. He says he won’t be like he was before but I don’t believe him because of how he still acts. We live on a budget and he gets mad at me if I give him a set amount of money to buy clothes with. He has me manage and budget the finances because he knows that if he does it the bills won’t get paid (we tried that already) but then he argues that I keep him from spending his money. I think I self-sabotage my success because I feel that he would spend all the money I make.
I feel stuck really. I love my family, husband, and kids, but I also feel like I have been doing everything in my life for everyone else and it has been holding me back. I want to move forward and do for me, but I know I have kids who depend on me. I also don’t want to be that selfish lazy person my family always accused me of being.
If it wasn’t for my husband always complaining about his unhappiness of me, I would be very happy with where we are now. I define happiness as being around the ones you love and having your basic needs met, I am content. Although, I also worry about our future and want to be financially secure so that we can always have this happiness. But my husband will never be happy because he sees happiness as something different, something no one can ever achieve, an illusion. He will always want more and as quickly spend more.
Any advice?
I feel like my life has been a mess. I was born into a mess, nothing I can do about it, however, my current problems are because of my choices and I really want to fix them and continue on making the right choices.
I hate to look at my past because of all the hurt and mistakes. But at the same time, I look at it to see my journey to try to make my future decisions. I feel that I am at a crossroads right now. At my previous crossroads I have made nothing but bad choices and I am still paying for a couple of them and don’t know how to get out of them.
I am writing on this forum because I don’t want to make mistakes anymore and hope that someone more intelligent and experienced can help me avoid making more mistakes and guide me in the right direction. Unfortunately, I feel that my situation is complex as it encompasses mindset and business and personal decisions.
So I will try to make this short.
Born into a dysfunctional family who kept telling me how selfish and lazy I was. It isn’t until recently I learned that they kept saying that to only get me to do what they wanted. They were very emotionally abusive and it left me being the person with a sign on my forehead saying, “use meâ€. This has caused me to make decisions that I shouldn’t have and brings me to problems I have today and want to fix.
I married a man that I thought loved me, I still think he loves me, but I don’t think he is right for me to be successful. He is not supportive, although he says he is. I have been a work at home mom for over ten years and have made lots of money and have been able to be home for our kids, however, his father always told him that my business was not a real business and convinced my husband to tell me to get real jobs which hindered my business. My husband also loved to spend the money I made on partying often spending more money than we had.
I have closed that business and went back to school to get a master’s, which now is costing me $80,000 in student loans all so that I could get a real job like my husband and his father wanted. However, the economy crashed and there are no good jobs to get. So, I decided to start my own website business and do what I am good at which is entrepreneurism and ignore my father-in-law and my husband when it comes to my professional choices.
Because I am not selfish or lazy as my family tried to make me believe, I really did want to get more involved in the community and joined the board of our HOA and the PTA of my son’s school.
My problem and decisions to make:
I love but am not happy with my website business because it is taking too much work and time to get anywhere. I want to start something else but not sure what. I would love to go back to my passion I had as a child to become an author but I am not sure if it is possible to turn that into fastlane. What if my writing sucks? (Please, don’t judge my writing based on this forum post.) I wrote some stuff that I thinks sucks but some of my stuff I can’t even believe I wrote. But I am hearing my husband and grandmother who has said my writing sucks, but looking back, my husband hates to read and my grandmother hates my genre. What do I do??? I don’t want to make another bad choice and I do have those student loans to pay off.
Another business idea I had was inspired my Shark Tank. I am very good at marketing and got my master’s in Internet Marketing. I was thinking of asking for a percentage of the ownership of businesses for in return I help them market and grow their business. I guess this will be like working on commission, but since I can’t think of a great product of my own maybe I can leverage someone else’s. Thoughts???
I enjoy doing the PTA. My HOA really needs help, but the president is a real chauvinist A-hole. I am the only girl on the board and he is a control freak that takes over all my projects which would be fine with me but he is also a screw-up and can’t do anything right. He is also rude to me and tries to embarrass me in meetings and other women homeowners who showed interest in joining the board change their minds when they see how he is. I want to quit but no other woman will join because of him and none of the other men wants to organize the community events which have been ignored for 4 years and the homeowners want more events but the woman are scared to join the board. I really want to quit but thanks to my families conditioning I feel like if I do it is selfish because I know they need me. I hate that president, and want to quit, and don’t know what to do. Can someone help make me feel better about quitting? LOL.
Another problem I think I have is self-sabotage. I know that I can make a lot of money as I did before with my previous business. At the moment, we are good with money; we can be content and happy. However, of course I will like to be self sufficient from my husband and have more money to be financially free and secure. However, my husband loves to spend and is more driven by brands and ego. We both want to travel, but last year he has actually suggested going to Ireland with his brother and not me and his kids. Neither of us has been to Europe so why would he suggest this as his first Europe trip? He says that he can’t wait for me to make more money so that we can travel and have fun and he can buy whatever he wants without thinking about the cost. This mindset and his past money behaviors worry me. He says he won’t be like he was before but I don’t believe him because of how he still acts. We live on a budget and he gets mad at me if I give him a set amount of money to buy clothes with. He has me manage and budget the finances because he knows that if he does it the bills won’t get paid (we tried that already) but then he argues that I keep him from spending his money. I think I self-sabotage my success because I feel that he would spend all the money I make.
I feel stuck really. I love my family, husband, and kids, but I also feel like I have been doing everything in my life for everyone else and it has been holding me back. I want to move forward and do for me, but I know I have kids who depend on me. I also don’t want to be that selfish lazy person my family always accused me of being.
If it wasn’t for my husband always complaining about his unhappiness of me, I would be very happy with where we are now. I define happiness as being around the ones you love and having your basic needs met, I am content. Although, I also worry about our future and want to be financially secure so that we can always have this happiness. But my husband will never be happy because he sees happiness as something different, something no one can ever achieve, an illusion. He will always want more and as quickly spend more.
Any advice?
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