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So firstly apologies for the agony aunt style post, but I ask here because as opposed to some problem pages because I genuinely value the input that I read on here form people who are perhaps more like minded in terms of ambitions as opposed to friends who don't do anything that is 'too hard' both in terms of 'work' and relationships.
I feel like I'm at a major relationship crossroads (after reaching boiling point previously around 4 months ago and settling down again) and it's clear I need to make a decision soon. I'm not expecting anyone to do that for me, but like I say I genuinely value the posters in this forum so thought I'd throw it out there.
I've arrived at a clear, defined plan of my life. What I want out of it, how I'm going to get it, what I want to enjoy and how I will enjoy downtime. My partner is the opposite. Slowlane till the end, likes the idea of doing something else but constantly finds excuses. Constantly negative, Constantly complaining, doing little to change it. Think's its ok to lash out and not to take responsibility for being in control of her words. A typical 'not my fault' type. My plans - travel, business, houses, always seem to be majorly compromised by her ambitions (me buying us a more expensive house, me not traveling without her even for business, US buying a nice car). Don't get me wrong, I'm by no means saying she's in it for the money, but she's resigned to the fact that she will always be on her $40k/year job so constantly (I think without even realising) applies pressure for things like a much bigger house than we need because it's her dream.
I will start here in saying that I do love my partner as does she me But I keep asking myself, am I happy (both in the emotional sense, and the 'bigger picture' sense).
I often feel like 'being the good guy' and being a romantic / not wanting to let her down often hold me in the relationship more than being happy does but then I also feel like the problem is something I need to deal with and accept (ie compromising my plans to support a partner etc/adapting them so I can succeed more to make her and me happy)
What I'm trying to get to, is I'd like to hear from people who've tried love and an entrepreneurial life and succeeded or decided that a relationship had to end as a result. What did you find hard? How did you reach a comprimise with someone who may have had an opposite mindset? What convinced you that you had to part ways?
I know I've read plenty of statements from both camps, No kids or relationships vs Keeping a woman with different goals happy - and would like to hear the compromises that you either had to make to make it work, or that you simply weren't willing to make. Is it unreasonable to expect to be away from home in return for a better lifestyle for us both, or if this is the route my success takes - should I be considerate and not drag her along for the ride. Or in fact should I be able to expect a partner to be supportive and co-opreative? I accept it's a mindset of determination to make it work but should it be a two way street? Is it wrong to feel like you need to put yourself first, or just weak?
"I'm supportive, as long as I have my house, mercedes and don't have to take on responsibilities'' is the general feeling that comes across.
At the moment it is constantly me making compromises for no gratitude, and I constantly can't think of the last time that we were truly together and just 'content' or happy. I feel like I'm being constantly told by her and her family that the arguments are ''normal'' and perhaps for her family they are.
I feel like I'm at a major relationship crossroads (after reaching boiling point previously around 4 months ago and settling down again) and it's clear I need to make a decision soon. I'm not expecting anyone to do that for me, but like I say I genuinely value the posters in this forum so thought I'd throw it out there.
I've arrived at a clear, defined plan of my life. What I want out of it, how I'm going to get it, what I want to enjoy and how I will enjoy downtime. My partner is the opposite. Slowlane till the end, likes the idea of doing something else but constantly finds excuses. Constantly negative, Constantly complaining, doing little to change it. Think's its ok to lash out and not to take responsibility for being in control of her words. A typical 'not my fault' type. My plans - travel, business, houses, always seem to be majorly compromised by her ambitions (me buying us a more expensive house, me not traveling without her even for business, US buying a nice car). Don't get me wrong, I'm by no means saying she's in it for the money, but she's resigned to the fact that she will always be on her $40k/year job so constantly (I think without even realising) applies pressure for things like a much bigger house than we need because it's her dream.
I will start here in saying that I do love my partner as does she me But I keep asking myself, am I happy (both in the emotional sense, and the 'bigger picture' sense).
I often feel like 'being the good guy' and being a romantic / not wanting to let her down often hold me in the relationship more than being happy does but then I also feel like the problem is something I need to deal with and accept (ie compromising my plans to support a partner etc/adapting them so I can succeed more to make her and me happy)
What I'm trying to get to, is I'd like to hear from people who've tried love and an entrepreneurial life and succeeded or decided that a relationship had to end as a result. What did you find hard? How did you reach a comprimise with someone who may have had an opposite mindset? What convinced you that you had to part ways?
I know I've read plenty of statements from both camps, No kids or relationships vs Keeping a woman with different goals happy - and would like to hear the compromises that you either had to make to make it work, or that you simply weren't willing to make. Is it unreasonable to expect to be away from home in return for a better lifestyle for us both, or if this is the route my success takes - should I be considerate and not drag her along for the ride. Or in fact should I be able to expect a partner to be supportive and co-opreative? I accept it's a mindset of determination to make it work but should it be a two way street? Is it wrong to feel like you need to put yourself first, or just weak?
"I'm supportive, as long as I have my house, mercedes and don't have to take on responsibilities'' is the general feeling that comes across.
At the moment it is constantly me making compromises for no gratitude, and I constantly can't think of the last time that we were truly together and just 'content' or happy. I feel like I'm being constantly told by her and her family that the arguments are ''normal'' and perhaps for her family they are.
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