Hi guys,
This post is going to describe how it feels being abandoned in the bottom of my life and track my progress of getting my life together. So, if it's irrelevant, feel free to skip it and save your time now.
At the moment, I am emotionally bleeding. After 7 successful years in sales I quit my job to pursue my own business. While being in a slow-lane, my life was pretty much alright. I was among the top performers in my company, graduated with masters degree in Strategic Management and Organisational Planning and had many ambitious goals in my life, however 9-17 routine was slowly killing me. So, I saved a substantial sum of money and half a year ago I moved back to my mother - to start my own business.
That decision of leaving my job and moving back to my mother, to run my own business, was a solid kick-out of my comfort zone. Although getting leads and closing deals wasn't easy, I got used to it and it was comforting. Leaving my sales job and opening a new chapter in my life is something entirely different.
So, I have enough money to sustain myself for at least 2 years, living with my mother, paying for my own food and am physically healthy. I have a business idea, which attracts a lot of interest from friends and random people, got free business adviser and have 3 investors ready to invest in my idea. Seems all cool, isn't it?
Let's look at what's going on in my own 'reality'.... In the past 6 months, when I quit my sales job, I lost a substantial amount of 'friends', because they didn't share my vision of chasing financial freedom. For the past 6 months I feel totally abandoned by everybody and am only contacted by 'friends' when they need something. Literally, I am feeling worthless, abandoned and depressed. I am currently stuck with my business plan, because of procrastination that is triggered by my constantly changing mood and sleepless nights, which usually start off by crying my tears out into my pillow for no reason and then falling asleep with a headache.
The reason why I currently feel so emotionally weak could hide in my childhood. When I reached 4, my parents left me alone at home while they worked 9-9 Monday to Friday. So, I had nobody around and was locked in an apartment throughout the day alone, reading books, solving puzzles and talking to my toys while looking throughout the window at happy children playing with their parents on the swings and imagining me in their place, imagining having someone who cared for me and was around. I started going to school at 7, so for 3 years I was isolated kid, grown-up and educated by myself. The reason why I am sharing this is probably because it is affecting me now, while I am working on my business at home. This childhood demon has enslaved me in my own head and I can not properly concentrate. Although I had suicide as an option in my mind multiple times this month, I am not going to give up that fast to childhood demons who have been haunting me for 20 years, this is the moment when my character is put to test.
So, I have my yearly, monthly and weekly goals set. I have a journal where I am going to write how well I perform each day and sum-up if I completed weekly goals. I will track my progress on a weekly basis in this thread. I will track my war with my childhood demons and you guys going to be the ones who will raise the winner's hand, at the end of this war. I can't promise to win, but I promise to do my best and don't give up.
As strange as it sounds, but the only emotional support I am left with is this forum. I regularly come here to randomly read posts and just be around you guys. I feel that there's still a place where I belong to. This forum allows me to feel 'normal' and shares my vision of financial freedom.
P.s. I saw a doctor, he prescribed me pills which I rejected. I demanded a therapist instead, as my family doctor, in my opinion, isn't qualified enough to judge my emotional state by simply listening me out for 5 minutes. Antidepressants make me sleepy and slow my performance, I can't afford that to happen now.
Thank you for reading,guys. Any suggestions and input are welcome. As mentioned, I will track my progress on a weekly basis and share it with you in this thread.
This post is going to describe how it feels being abandoned in the bottom of my life and track my progress of getting my life together. So, if it's irrelevant, feel free to skip it and save your time now.
At the moment, I am emotionally bleeding. After 7 successful years in sales I quit my job to pursue my own business. While being in a slow-lane, my life was pretty much alright. I was among the top performers in my company, graduated with masters degree in Strategic Management and Organisational Planning and had many ambitious goals in my life, however 9-17 routine was slowly killing me. So, I saved a substantial sum of money and half a year ago I moved back to my mother - to start my own business.
That decision of leaving my job and moving back to my mother, to run my own business, was a solid kick-out of my comfort zone. Although getting leads and closing deals wasn't easy, I got used to it and it was comforting. Leaving my sales job and opening a new chapter in my life is something entirely different.
So, I have enough money to sustain myself for at least 2 years, living with my mother, paying for my own food and am physically healthy. I have a business idea, which attracts a lot of interest from friends and random people, got free business adviser and have 3 investors ready to invest in my idea. Seems all cool, isn't it?
Let's look at what's going on in my own 'reality'.... In the past 6 months, when I quit my sales job, I lost a substantial amount of 'friends', because they didn't share my vision of chasing financial freedom. For the past 6 months I feel totally abandoned by everybody and am only contacted by 'friends' when they need something. Literally, I am feeling worthless, abandoned and depressed. I am currently stuck with my business plan, because of procrastination that is triggered by my constantly changing mood and sleepless nights, which usually start off by crying my tears out into my pillow for no reason and then falling asleep with a headache.
The reason why I currently feel so emotionally weak could hide in my childhood. When I reached 4, my parents left me alone at home while they worked 9-9 Monday to Friday. So, I had nobody around and was locked in an apartment throughout the day alone, reading books, solving puzzles and talking to my toys while looking throughout the window at happy children playing with their parents on the swings and imagining me in their place, imagining having someone who cared for me and was around. I started going to school at 7, so for 3 years I was isolated kid, grown-up and educated by myself. The reason why I am sharing this is probably because it is affecting me now, while I am working on my business at home. This childhood demon has enslaved me in my own head and I can not properly concentrate. Although I had suicide as an option in my mind multiple times this month, I am not going to give up that fast to childhood demons who have been haunting me for 20 years, this is the moment when my character is put to test.
So, I have my yearly, monthly and weekly goals set. I have a journal where I am going to write how well I perform each day and sum-up if I completed weekly goals. I will track my progress on a weekly basis in this thread. I will track my war with my childhood demons and you guys going to be the ones who will raise the winner's hand, at the end of this war. I can't promise to win, but I promise to do my best and don't give up.
As strange as it sounds, but the only emotional support I am left with is this forum. I regularly come here to randomly read posts and just be around you guys. I feel that there's still a place where I belong to. This forum allows me to feel 'normal' and shares my vision of financial freedom.
P.s. I saw a doctor, he prescribed me pills which I rejected. I demanded a therapist instead, as my family doctor, in my opinion, isn't qualified enough to judge my emotional state by simply listening me out for 5 minutes. Antidepressants make me sleepy and slow my performance, I can't afford that to happen now.
Thank you for reading,guys. Any suggestions and input are welcome. As mentioned, I will track my progress on a weekly basis and share it with you in this thread.
Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member:
Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)
Last edited:
Membership Required: Upgrade to Expose Nearly 1,000,000 Posts
Ready to Unleash the Millionaire Entrepreneur in You?
Become a member of the Fastlane Forum, the private community founded by best-selling author and multi-millionaire entrepreneur MJ DeMarco. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has poured his heart and soul into the Fastlane Forum, helping entrepreneurs reclaim their time, win their financial freedom, and live their best life.
With more than 39,000 posts packed with insights, strategies, and advice, you’re not just a member—you’re stepping into MJ’s inner-circle, a place where you’ll never be left alone.
Become a member and gain immediate access to...
- Active Community: Ever join a community only to find it DEAD? Not at Fastlane! As you can see from our home page, life-changing content is posted dozens of times daily.
- Exclusive Insights: Direct access to MJ DeMarco’s daily contributions and wisdom.
- Powerful Networking Opportunities: Connect with a diverse group of successful entrepreneurs who can offer mentorship, collaboration, and opportunities.
- Proven Strategies: Learn from the best in the business, with actionable advice and strategies that can accelerate your success.
"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with the most..."
Who are you surrounding yourself with? Surround yourself with millionaire success. Join Fastlane today!
Join Today
