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Save the world from the horrible pitches

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Primzi

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Hey there,

Since many of you have experience with writing good pitches, since some of you frequently receive good pitches and since many people want to know how to write good pitches, I would like to open a discussion about pitching e-mails here.

I have some imroved my pitches since the beginning, and the advice I can give out if you are a single person who pitches people is this:

Structure the e-mail like this, and use max. 1-2 sentences for each of the parts. Keep it short, nobody likes to read long e-mails!

1. Introduction (tell them about yourself and how did you find out about the person you are contacting)
2. Offer (clearly specify what you are offering)
3. Benefit (what benefit would the client have?)
4. Foot in the door (politely check if the client is interested or not)
5. Call to action (if they are indeed interested, ask for a meeting or the permission to send them your ideas)

Now, I am still only a beginner with this and while my e-mail pitches might not be the worst, they are still far from being good enough. Here's one of my pitches (it's been translated into english, so please focus more on the meaning), I would be greatful if you could tear it apart if you have some ideas for improvement.

Dear Sir or Madame,

<our company name> is a group of experienced computer scientists who is mostly doing web development and design. For you, we would like to make a modern and transparent website which will be easy to use. By doing this, we would help you obtain more potential clients, increase the reputation of your tax office, automatize the processes in your company and help you save your time. We can of course talk about the details, but we would like to know whether you are interested first. If so, we would like to know if we could schedule a meeting or a coffee and discuss how exactly we could help you?



Best regards,

Primoz (+phone, e-mail and website)
 
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Access Restricted: Unlock 1,000,000+ Posts

Stop Peeking Through the Keyhole.
Open the Door.

You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.

  • Active Daily: Life-changing content posted dozens of times every day. No dead threads.
  • MJ's Inner Circle: Direct access to the author of The Millionaire Fastlane.
  • Vetted Network: Connect with founders scaling to 7 and 8 figures.
  • Proven Roadmaps: Strategy over motivation. Execution over "hustle porn."
"SCALED TO 6-FIGURE MONTHS"
"Tips and advice here saved me from huge mistakes, others allowed me to scale my business to 6-figure months."
— User MitchC
"INSANE QUALITY OF PEOPLE"
"The number of high quality people I've met from this forum has been insane. All of it predicated on building real value."
— User Richard Peck

"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with."
Are you surrounding yourself with success?

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