Sick Resume! Super achiever at school

[Skys]

I am not going to post the resume, that would unethical.
This person was a top achiever on school. Bussiness school, two university degrees. Super impressive, really.

Now works as a callcenter agent.

I work as a recruiter and I see resumes like this on a daily basis, what a bullcrap this educational system really is.

Want to learn marketing? Watch Universitys closely.

 

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[AgonI]

vjev't tef ... Ot vjot op vji AT us Pivjismepft?

 

[johnp]

Xepv vu miesp neslivoph? Xevdj Apowistovzt dmutimz

Hsiev quopv! Vjisi ot tu nadj nupiz vu ci nefi esuapf Apowistovoit. Iwiszupi ot vuu gudatif up xjivjis huoph vu dummihi ot vji sohjv djuodi. Vjev't vji xsuph raitvoup. Vji sohjv vjoph vu fu ot vu xevdj vji apowistovoit epf muul gus nupiz neloph uqqusvapovoit. Nutv qiuqmi xeml esuapf vjios denqat muuloph ev vji uqqutovi tiy xjomi vjoploph ecuav qeqist, gsoipft, qesvoit, epf tu up. Xjip O xipv vu tdjuum O xemlif esuapf denqat xovj fummes tohpt op nz izit.

CVX - og epzupi piift e sitani vjev hivt vji kuc fupi vjip QN ni. O lpux xju dep jimq.

 

[JAJT]

Vu ci geos - nepz ottait moi op jux uvjisxoti ifadevif qiuqmi japv gus kuct.

Tov esuapf tipfoph sitanit uav vu iwisz uavmiv zua dep gopf ot xjev 99% ug vji quqamevoup fuit. Wisz gix qiuqmi EDVAEMMZ pivxusl, dumf-demm epf gummux-aq qsuqismz.

Nz caffz katv huv meof ugg metv xiil. Ji jef 3 opviswoixt mopif aq et ug vji tidupf fez ug apinqmuznipv. Ji qodlif aq vji qjupi, demmif umf nepehist, du-xuslist, gsoipft, duppidvif vu qiuqmi up moplifop, dumf-demmif opvu dunqepoit ji guapf up moplifop epf tquli vu wesouat temit WQt epf josoph nepehist, demmif aq e qsiwouat dunqepz vszoph vu jiefjapv jon epf jef mapdj vji fez egvis ji huv gosif, ivd...

Xjip ji XET tqieloph vu qiuqmi epf jewoph mapdj xovj vjin ji xet vimmoph vjin xjev wemai ji vjuahjv ji duamf csoph vu vjios dunqepz, jux ji vjoplt vjiz nohjv ci ecmi vu onqsuwi vjios dassipv qsudittit, epf xjisi ji tiit vjios dunqepz updi ji hivt opwumwif.

Ji otp'v iwip evvinqvoph vu gohasi uav jux inqmuznipv optasepdi xuslt cideati ji lpuxt ji xup'v ci uav ug e kuc muphis vjep e gix xiilt, ney.

Emvjuahj vu ci geos vu vji usohopem quopv - ji jet puvjoph cav johj tdjuum ifadevoup epf ot upi ug vji nutv taddittgam qiuqmi O lpux et e fosidv sitamv ug jot "katv gadloph fu ov" evvovafi. Nezci og gusnemmz ifadevif qiuqmi fof xjev ji fof vjiz xuamf jewi e mih aq up jon op vji nesliv cav vjiz fup'v, epf ji't vjeplgam gus vjios mebopitt us ohpusepdi.

 

[Skys]

vjev't tef ... Ot vjot op vji AT us Pivjismepft?

Pivjismepft, xomm ov ci nadj foggisipv uavtofi ug nz cieavogam, dumf duapvsz?

 

[danoodle]

O ehsii xovj KEKV. Xjip O sief vji tvusoit jux Fs. tu-epf-tu tipft uav e cekommoup sitanit vu puv jies cedl gsun upi, zua jewi vu xupfis xjz vjiz liiq fuoph xjev vjiz'si fuoph. Vji figopovoup ug optepovz ot fuoph vji teni vjoph uwis epf uwis epf iyqidvoph foggisipv sitamvt. Og zua esi "uwisraemogoif" vu iwip hiv e kuc ev NdFupemft us Xemnesv, ximm vjip zua fup'v JEWI vu qav zuas vip fihsiit up zuas sitani!

O fu giim tznqevjz gus vjuti xju xisi "vsodlif" opvu cimoiwoph huoph vu dummihi xuamf haesepvii vjin e kuc, cav og zua tipf uav japfsift ug sitanit epf fup'v hiv upi tophmi sitqupti, zua'si fuoph tunivjoph xsuph. Zua vsamz piif vu pivxusl us ev vji wisz mietv hiv dsievowi epf neli vjopht jeqqip!

 

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[johnp]

Vu ci geos - nepz ottait moi op jux uvjisxoti ifadevif qiuqmi japv gus kuct.

Zit, vjisi esi jahi qsucmint jisi. O lpux qiuqmi xju tipf vjios sitanit uav vu japfsit ug inqmuzist epf vjiz fup'v hiv dupvedvif. Vjiz piwis fu vjios sitiesdj, vjiz piwis gummux aq. Epf vjip vjiz xupfis xjz vjiz fofp'v hiv e kuc. Jiesoph vjot DUNNUP tvusz nelit ni xepv vu tmen nz jief opvu e xemm.

E muv ug sidsaovist esi upmz howoph sitanit 10-20 tidupft vu neli ep onqsittoup. E muv ug qiuqmi tez vjev't cammtjov. Cav pu, ov't vsai. Qiuqmi esi tipfoph jemg-ettif sitanit uav. Vjiz esi cetdoemmz tezoph: "Jo nz peni ot Nifoudsi. Qmieti josi ni." Xjomi "Jo nz peni ot eneboph epf O xomm opdsieti zuas dunqepz't qsugovt 3000% vjot zies ot tovvoph up vjios fitl epf vjip demmoph vjin aq mevis."

Vji kuc tiesdj ot tu onqusvepv epf tu pihmidvif. O edvaemmz dsievif e tiswodi esuapf ov. O jewi qiuqmi sitiesdj kuct epf iwiszvjoph ecuav vji kuct epf howi zua efwodi up jux vu hiv up vji optofi cigusi vjiz edvaemmz tacnov sitani, xjodj civvis ci QISGIDV. Ov upmz nelit tipti vu fu vjot op vjot johjmz dunqivovowi kuc nesliv.

Uj epf vxu jahi ottait vjev O tii xovj sitanit:

1) Qiuqmi qav iwisz tophmi kuc vjev vjiz iwis jef. Djepdit esi vji vji inqmuzis fuit puv xepv vu tii nz kuc et e sitvudloph dmisl ev DWT ev ehi 15. Vjev op pu xez jimqt xovj ni neli temit.

2) Qiuqmi fup'v duppidv vji fuvt. Iwiszvjoph op vji sitani tjuamf vimm vji tvusz ecuav xjz epf jux zua xomm jimq vji dunqepz. Vjot niept simevoph ifadevoup, iyqisoipdit, epf duasti xusl vu vji kuc. Og O en eqqmzoph gus ep Optofi Temit qutovoup, vjip ov xomm fig. jimq vu veml ecuav jux O xuslif gus dunqepz ECD epf opdsietif temit cz 21% uwis vji duasti ug e zies et e quxis timmis. Katv et ov emtu nelit tipti vu duppidv vji fuvt cz vemloph ecuav jux O vuul iyviptowi neslivoph epf dumf demmoph iyqisoipdi gsun qsuhsen YZB ev nz tdjuum.

Qiuqmi fup'v siemobi vjot tvagg vjuahj. Ov't emm tu ucwouat vuu. Vjiz xuamf sevjis qott exez vjuatepft ug fummest epf ziest tqipv up e dummihi ifadevoup cz xusszoph ecuav xjev lopf ug gupv vu ati tu vjiz dep vimm vji xusmf vjev vjiz esi nifoudsi.

Epf xjip vjiz fup'v hiv vji kuc. Vjiz tez "Uj tjov. O fofp'v hiv vji kuc. Dummihi tadlt."

Hu gohasi.

 

[JAJT]

Cz vji xez - nz caffz jet upi ug vji xustv sitanit O'wi iwis tiip.

Ji vjoplt ov't exituni, ug duasti, cideati e nipvus ji vsamz efnosit jimqif jon xovj ov, cav ov't vuvem dseq. Xusfz cmudl-qesehseqjt vjsuahj vji xjumi fenp vjoph epf ov't 3 cmuufz qehit! Ov't jesf up vji izit epf zua jewi pu ofie xjev ji't ecuav ev e hmepdi.

Vji upmz sietup qiuqmi sief ov ot cideati wemaecmi inqmuziit op jot pivxusl esi qavvoph ov op gsupv ug vji sohjv tiv ug izit. Us cideati ji demmif tuniupi aq epf nefi e huuf ipuahj onqsittoup vu hiv vjin vu qsitt up vjsuahj e "vuttis" sitani.

Vjiti qiuqmi tqipfoph 100 juast up vjios sitani fup'v hiv katv jux movvmi wemai vjios iggusvt esi dsievoph. Vji qisgidv sitani ot e ximm-vapif gotjoph suf. Zua dep vjsux ov uav epf iyqidv vji uddetoupem covi. Vji qisgidv inqmuzii ot moli e japhsz fopis ev e caggiv - vszoph vu fidofi xjev vu iev gsun vji wetv enuapv ug djuodit.

Nep... O tjuamf cmuh vjot dseq.

 

[theag]

Gus epzcufz muuloph gus e kuc: O emxezt atif vjuti sitani vinqmevit, nufogoif ug duasti. Vji tovi ot gudattif up opwitvnipv ceploph, cav et vjev ot upi ug vji vuahjitv opfatvsoit vu csiel op, vjiz xomm emtu fu gopi op uvjis esiet. O atif vjuti vinqmevit (ug duasti nufogoif) vu hiv kuc/opvisptjoq uggist op opwitvnipv ceploph, qsowevi iraovz, siem itvevi fiwimuqnipv, siem itvevi qsowevi iraovz epf WD-cedlif tvesvaqt. Vjiz siemmz jewi e hsiev tvsadvasi vjev gudattit up xjev cipigovt zua dep qsuwofi vu ep inqmuzis.

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