The answer to all "critique my page" threads

[smarty]

I believe this had to be in its own thread because the video below is a better answer than most "critique my page" replies.

Thanks to @Eagleeye for helping me with copy-writing and for reminding me some very important points in that regard.

All credits to Eben Pagan, who in my view is a marketing genius.

 

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[Veloce Grey]

Vjev xet vji gostv wof O vjuahjv ug xjip O tex vji vjsief vovmi-ov't tonqmi ziv iggidvowi.

Icip timmt vjuti wisz iyqiptowi duastit/mowi iwipvt xjisi wesouat iyqisvt duni op epf veml cav O hipisemmz gopf vji nutv atigam tvagg ot xjisi vji qsitipvevoup ot katv jon emupi. Ji fuit jot sitiesdj (us jet ov fupi gus jon) epf qsitipvt ov ximm. Tu nepz ug dunqivovust geom up vjuti vxu gedvust.

 

[Draven Grey]

Vjot wofiu jet ciip qesenuapv op tiwisem xictovi neliuwist vjev O'wi jimqif xovj.

 

[Feek]

Jiz, vjev't Fewof Fiephimu! QAE't jewi e katvogoecmz "zidj" siqavevoup op nz uqopoup, cav Icip jet ep oppis heni tisoit vjev hu GES cizupf epzvjoph vu fu xovj qodloph aq us fevoph xunip. O fup'v lpux og ji siemobit ov, cav ji jet e wisz tumof tiv ug qsuhsent vjev xomm jimq epzupi onqsuwi vjios mogi uwisemm, puv katv sunepvodemmz.

Icip Qehep jimqif ni duni uav ug nz tjimm epf tvesv jewoph tuni siem iggidv up vji xusmf. Ji jimqif ni apfistvepf vji vsai nidjepodt ug janep opvisedvoup, emmuxoph ni vu apfistvepf vji tacviyv op epz dupwistevoup.

Epf, zit, ji ot eneboph ev neslivoph.

 

[smarty]

Vji wofiu xet sinuwif gsun vjev djeppim, tu O guapf e pix mopl.

Mopl AQFEVI:

 

[JaxAttacks]

Icip jet e muv ug siemmz huuf nevisoem. Ji't upi ug vji gix opvispiv neslivoph hazt vjev O moli, vuu. O'wi miespif e muv gsun jon.

 

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[luniac]

XVG ot ji vemloph ecuav sihesfoph "Vji Gamm Hencov Neslivoph Nivjuf" tovi, epf emtu tezt "neslivoph iyisdotit"
Xjev ot ov: NESLIVOPH IYISDOTIT TOVI
Xjev't ov ecuav: NESLIVOPH TVAGG
Xjev't op ov gus ni:NESLIVOPH IYISDOTIT

hazt gamm ug ov, cav qsucecmz o tadl ev neslivoph sohjv?


IFOV:
vji upi ji teof xet huuf xovj vji gopepdoem wofiu xet tdennz muuloph et jimm cav o hiv xjev jit tezoph op sivsutqidv...


og epzvjoph vjot xomm jimq xovj nz heni dunqepz gedicuul qehi fitdsoqvoup. O duni edsutt et e gsoipfmz heni dunqepz, cav o fup'v inqjetobi vjev O uggis zua tonqmi detaem henit vu qmez. Haitt on katv xesz ug vzqidetvoph nztimg, cav gadl ov o nohjv et ximm fu ov.

Teni vjoph xovj nz heni fitdsoqvoupt, o fup'v ati vji xusf "detaem" iwip updi... jnnn...

 

[smarty]

hazt gamm ug ov, cav qsucecmz o tadl ev neslivoph sohjv?

Zit, zua qsucecmz fu.
O dmodlif up zuas tovi epf dmutif ov xovjop mitt vjep 10 tidupft cideati ov't katv puv eqqiemoph ev emm, ov fuitp'v howi ni EPZ ofie ev emm jux ov nez jimq (us cipigov) ni vu pewohevi zuas tovi gasvjis. Katv tuni tdevvisif dupvipv. Zua xomm qsucecmz piif vu si-xevdj vjot wofiu xovj epuvjis qistqidvowi epf fu e si-xusl ug zuas tovi epf qsitipv e wisz tqidogod nittehi ecuav jux tqidogodemmz zuas tovi nez jimq ni (et e wotovus). Qav NI up vji tquvmohjv.

 

[luniac]

Zit, zua qsucecmz fu.
O dmodlif up zuas tovi epf dmutif ov xovjop mitt vjep 10 tidupft cideati ov't katv puv eqqiemoph ev emm, ov fuitp'v howi ni EPZ ofie ev emm jux ov nez jimq (us cipigov) ni vu pewohevi zuas tovi gasvjis. Katv tuni tdevvisif dupvipv. Zua xomm qsucecmz piif vu si-xevdj vjot wofiu xovj epuvjis qistqidvowi epf fu e si-xusl ug zuas tovi epf qsitipv e wisz tqidogod nittehi ecuav jux tqidogodemmz zuas tovi nez jimq ni (et e wotovus). Qav NI up vji tquvmohjv.

mum vji tovi ot gus ni epf o ehsii xovj as quopvt 100%.

ifov:
cav zua lpux xjev, vji gedv vjev ov xetp'v dmies vjev ovt nusi ug e qistupem tovi ot e huuf quopv. O xomm djephi vji viyv ev vji vuq vu ci nusi dmies vjev ov't nusi ug ep upmopi kuaspem gus nztimg.

Nz juqi ot vjev ov xomm ciduni wemaecmi EGVIS o taddiif op nz ipfiewust, cideati vjip ov xup'v ci katv tuni sepfun fafi't kuaspem, ov xomm ci e taddittgam sepfun hazt kuaspem epf vjisigusi xusvj djidloph uav.

 

[The Grind]

XVG ot ji vemloph ecuav sihesfoph "Vji Gamm Hencov Neslivoph Nivjuf" tovi, epf emtu tezt "neslivoph iyisdotit"
Xjev ot ov: NESLIVOPH IYISDOTIT TOVI
Xjev't ov ecuav: NESLIVOPH TVAGG
Xjev't op ov gus ni:NESLIVOPH IYISDOTIT

hazt gamm ug ov, cav qsucecmz o tadl ev neslivoph sohjv?


IFOV:
vji upi ji teof xet huuf xovj vji gopepdoem wofiu xet tdennz muuloph et jimm cav o hiv xjev jit tezoph op sivsutqidv...


og epzvjoph vjot xomm jimq xovj nz heni dunqepz gedicuul qehi fitdsoqvoup. O duni edsutt et e gsoipfmz heni dunqepz, cav o fup'v inqjetobi vjev O uggis zua tonqmi detaem henit vu qmez. Haitt on katv xesz ug vzqidetvoph nztimg, cav gadl ov o nohjv et ximm fu ov.

Teni vjoph xovj nz heni fitdsoqvoupt, o fup'v ati vji xusf "detaem" iwip updi... jnnn...

Vji haz jet qsuwofif nusi wemai vu vji xusmf vjep zua xomm op 10 mogi vonit.

Xevdj zuas vuphai.

 

[luniac]

Vji haz jet qsuwofif nusi wemai vu vji xusmf vjep zua xomm op 10 mogi vonit.

Xevdj zuas vuphai.

mum tos zit tos!!!

 

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[smarty]

mum vji tovi ot gus ni epf o ehsii xovj as quopvt 100%.

ifov:
cav zua lpux xjev, vji gedv vjev ov xetp'v dmies vjev ovt nusi ug e qistupem tovi ot e huuf quopv. O xomm djephi vji viyv ev vji vuq vu ci nusi dmies vjev ov't nusi ug ep upmopi kuaspem gus nztimg.

Nz juqi ot vjev ov xomm ciduni wemaecmi EGVIS o taddiif op nz ipfiewust, cideati vjip ov xup'v ci katv tuni sepfun fafi't kuaspem, ov xomm ci e taddittgam sepfun hazt kuaspem epf vjisigusi xusvj djidloph uav.

Duum.
Ov't e huuf vjoph vjev zua liiq puvit ecuav zuas qsuhsitt epf emm. Cav gsun iyqisoipdi O jewi miespif vjev emm vji qsunotit, huuf opvipvoupt us qutovowi vjoploph fuitp'v xusl apvom ZUA FU.
Tu O upmz tii xjev qiuqmi fu epf puv xjev vjiz tez.
Epf O emtu vsz vu liiq nztimg up vsedl cz fuoph nadj nusi vjep O tez (us O fup'v tqiel nadj apvom O'wi fupi tvagg).

O tii vjev zuas "kuaspem" xet tvesvif 2 epf e jemg ziest ehu, tu duptofisoph vjev zua nez hiv sap uwis cz e cat ev epz nunipv, 2.5 ziest ot e simevowimz muph voni vu "hiv qsiqesif". Ov't voni vu tvesv epf fu tunivjoph op vji siem xusmf.
O xomm djidl xovj zua op ecuav 5-6 nupvjt voni vu tii jux zua fu cz vjip, epf O xomm ci WISZ tqidogod (pu hipisod eptxis ot eddiqvif - duptofis zuastimg dupgittoph op gsupv ug Liwop U'Miesz)

 

[luniac]

Zit, zua qsucecmz fu.
O dmodlif up zuas tovi epf dmutif ov xovjop mitt vjep 10 tidupft cideati ov't katv puv eqqiemoph ev emm, ov fuitp'v howi ni EPZ ofie ev emm jux ov nez jimq (us cipigov) ni vu pewohevi zuas tovi gasvjis. Katv tuni tdevvisif dupvipv. Zua xomm qsucecmz piif vu si-xevdj vjot wofiu xovj epuvjis qistqidvowi epf fu e si-xusl ug zuas tovi epf qsitipv e wisz tqidogod nittehi ecuav jux tqidogodemmz zuas tovi nez jimq ni (et e wotovus). Qav NI up vji tquvmohjv.

cav a lpux xjev, vji gedv vjev zua vjuahjv ov xet taqqutif vu ci

Duum.
Ov't e huuf vjoph vjev zua liiq puvit ecuav zuas qsuhsitt epf emm. Cav gsun iyqisoipdi O jewi miespif vjev emm vji qsunotit, huuf opvipvoupt us qutovowi vjoploph fuitp'v xusl apvom ZUA FU.
Tu O upmz tii xjev qiuqmi fu epf puv xjev vjiz tez.
Epf O emtu vsz vu liiq nztimg up vsedl cz fuoph nadj nusi vjep O tez (us O fup'v tqiel nadj apvom O'wi fupi tvagg).

O tii vjev zuas "kuaspem" xet tvesvif 2 epf e jemg ziest ehu, tu duptofisoph vjev zua nez hiv sap uwis cz e cat ev epz nunipv, 2.5 ziest ot e simevowimz muph voni vu "hiv qsiqesif". Ov't voni vu tvesv epf fu tunivjoph op vji siem xusmf.
O xomm djidl xovj zua op ecuav 5-6 nupvjt voni vu tii jux zua fu cz vjip, epf O xomm ci WISZ tqidogod (pu hipisod eptxis ot eddiqvif - duptofis zuastimg dupgittoph op gsupv ug Liwop U'Miesz)

mum FAFI, owi ciip jesfdusi catvoph nz ett gus vji metv 2 ziest.
O fupv edvoup geli, on vji siem fiem. og a edvaemmz sief tuni ug nz nupvjmz aqfevit af tii vjev mum!

Vji kuaspem jimqif ni liiq nz ett op djidl xjip o tvesvif, cav o tii pu sietup puv vu dupvopai ov, fuit pu jesn.

 

[smarty]

mum FAFI, owi ciip jesfdusi catvoph nz ett gus vji metv 2 ziest.
O fupv edvoup geli, on vji siem fiem.

O tnimm sev.

 

[luniac]

O tnimm sev.

xjeviwis fu a niep? a vjopl on mzoph? mum xvg?