Two cognitive punches for lifelong, durable happiness...

[MJ DeMarco]

From the Life in the Fastlane newsletter.

My wife hates that I have an affinity for watching and reading about true crime stories. Turns out I'm not alone.


Anyway, there's an odd reason I'm hooked on watching murder documentaries, and they lead to the two strategies I use to continually be happy and raise my baseline for happiness.


No, I don't have some twisted fascination with crime. But it reminds me to not sweat the "small stuff," and most everything is small.


When I watch true crime documentaries, I look beyond the human tragedy (which my wife cannot do) and instead experience immense gratitude and perspective, two things that scientifically can lead to happiness.


True crime shows me how lucky I am to have my loved ones while being able to pursue my best life. It gives me a punch of perspective, a mental knife that cuts through the fog of trivial complaints and zooms in on what truly matters.


I recently did a Cameo video, a pep-talk for a man who was enduring struggles in his life. In that video, I tried to share these two ideas of gratitude and perspective, as they were the strategies that guided me during my rough times, as they do today when I'm complaining about tax increases, corrupt politicians, and rude people.


Take war, for instance. There's someone, right now, literally fighting to survive. Conversely, you might be in a metaphorical battle to get that promotion or launch your startup. Recognize this for what it is—a privilege.


Think about that.


You're fighting for a dream, while others are fighting for food, shelter, and water. They're fighting to survive. If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, well, you're doing spectacularly well.


The same can be said about health. I might dread the idea of my early morning walk, but hey, I *can* walk without the threat of being bombed, mugged, or kidnapped. Whenever I lose perspective, I mutter to myself, "Well, you don't have pancreatic cancer," which, by most measures, is a death sentence. This simple, morbid statement is another mental punch that knocks sense into me.


Another cognitive gut-punch I use is freedom, which most of us take for granted. When faced with the angst of some trivial matter—someone cut me off, scammed, or misled me—I tell myself that I'm not pacing in a prison cell convicted of manslaughter or subject to reeducation in some gulag while doing back-breaking labor. I'm still free to think, speak, and exist as I am, as are you. This simple autonomy is a cornerstone of your well-being that we too often overlook.


And let's not forget the little black mirror we all carry—our smartphones. I preach a lot about social media toxicity but remember, the entire repository of human knowledge is literally in your pocket. Hell, if you had Elon Musk or Taylor Swift's telephone number, you could immediately reach them from your pocket. Again, think about amazing truth. Between this knowledge and access, previous generations would've killed for this privilege. Don't squander it with endless doom-scrolling on TikTok.

So when life beats you down—bills, tax increases, poor ad results—remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for. You have an opportunity not just to survive but to pursue your dreams. Your best life.


None of this is some woo-woo I made up.

The psychological benefits of gratitude and perspective are well-documented. One seminal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept weekly gratitude journals were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and exercised more than those who focused on neutral or negative aspects. The grass is already greener in your pasture. This research, led by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, lends scientific credence to the idea that focusing on what you're thankful for can positively impact well-being (source).

Another study delved into how the mere act of reframing a situation—again, perspective— to see the silver lining could foster better mental health. Published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, this study suggests that optimistic thinking styles, like positive reframing, are associated with various health benefits, including lower levels of depression and even better cardiovascular health (source).'


In a world where the narrative is often tuned to what we lack or how we could be better, flipping The Script is not radical but revolutionary. The powers-at-be want you to be angry, divided, and depressed as it makes you controllably monetizable. Don't be a slave to their whims.

So here's the mic-drop that only perspective and gratitude can deliver: If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.



Best wishes,
MJ DeMarco, Entrepreneur, Author


PS: Here are some questions to ponder regarding perspective and gratitude in your life.

1 How can you practice gratitude daily beyond acknowledging our current treasures in life?
2 How do you balance a heightened sense of perspective for happiness so it does not deter you from achieving more?
3 How does the digital age contribute to our skewed perspective, and how can we counterbalance that?

If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.

Remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for.

If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, you're doing spectacularly well.

The grass is already greener in your pasture.

 

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[Walter Hay]

From the Life in the Fastlane newsletter.

My wife hates that I have an affinity for watching and reading about true crime stories. Turns out I'm not alone.


Anyway, there's an odd reason I'm hooked on watching murder documentaries, and they lead to the two strategies I use to continually be happy and raise my baseline for happiness.


No, I don't have some twisted fascination with crime. But it reminds me to not sweat the "small stuff," and most everything is small.


When I watch true crime documentaries, I look beyond the human tragedy (which my wife cannot do) and instead experience immense gratitude and perspective, two things that scientifically can lead to happiness.


True crime shows me how lucky I am to have my loved ones while being able to pursue my best life. It gives me a punch of perspective, a mental knife that cuts through the fog of trivial complaints and zooms in on what truly matters.


I recently did a Cameo video, a pep-talk for a man who was enduring struggles in his life. In that video, I tried to share these two ideas of gratitude and perspective, as they were the strategies that guided me during my rough times, as they do today when I'm complaining about tax increases, corrupt politicians, and rude people.


Take war, for instance. There's someone, right now, literally fighting to survive. Conversely, you might be in a metaphorical battle to get that promotion or launch your startup. Recognize this for what it is—a privilege.


Think about that.


You're fighting for a dream, while others are fighting for food, shelter, and water. They're fighting to survive. If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, well, you're doing spectacularly well.


The same can be said about health. I might dread the idea of my early morning walk, but hey, I *can* walk without the threat of being bombed, mugged, or kidnapped. Whenever I lose perspective, I mutter to myself, "Well, you don't have pancreatic cancer," which, by most measures, is a death sentence. This simple, morbid statement is another mental punch that knocks sense into me.


Another cognitive gut-punch I use is freedom, which most of us take for granted. When faced with the angst of some trivial matter—someone cut me off, scammed, or misled me—I tell myself that I'm not pacing in a prison cell convicted of manslaughter or subject to reeducation in some gulag while doing back-breaking labor. I'm still free to think, speak, and exist as I am, as are you. This simple autonomy is a cornerstone of your well-being that we too often overlook.


And let's not forget the little black mirror we all carry—our smartphones. I preach a lot about social media toxicity but remember, the entire repository of human knowledge is literally in your pocket. Hell, if you had Elon Musk or Taylor Swift's telephone number, you could immediately reach them from your pocket. Again, think about amazing truth. Between this knowledge and access, previous generations would've killed for this privilege. Don't squander it with endless doom-scrolling on TikTok.

So when life beats you down—bills, tax increases, poor ad results—remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for. You have an opportunity not just to survive but to pursue your dreams. Your best life.


None of this is some woo-woo I made up.

The psychological benefits of gratitude and perspective are well-documented. One seminal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept weekly gratitude journals were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and exercised more than those who focused on neutral or negative aspects. The grass is already greener in your pasture. This research, led by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, lends scientific credence to the idea that focusing on what you're thankful for can positively impact well-being (source).

Another study delved into how the mere act of reframing a situation—again, perspective— to see the silver lining could foster better mental health. Published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, this study suggests that optimistic thinking styles, like positive reframing, are associated with various health benefits, including lower levels of depression and even better cardiovascular health (source).'


In a world where the narrative is often tuned to what we lack or how we could be better, flipping The Script is not radical but revolutionary. The powers-at-be want you to be angry, divided, and depressed as it makes you controllably monetizable. Don't be a slave to their whims.

So here's the mic-drop that only perspective and gratitude can deliver: If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.

View attachment 52010

Best wishes,
MJ DeMarco, Entrepreneur, Author


PS: Here are some questions to ponder regarding perspective and gratitude in your life.

1 How can you practice gratitude daily beyond acknowledging our current treasures in life?
2 How do you balance a heightened sense of perspective for happiness so it does not deter you from achieving more?
3 How does the digital age contribute to our skewed perspective, and how can we counterbalance that?

Thank you for the sobering suggestions that should help many forum members.
Having entered this world while carrying a deadly Cystic Fibrosis (CF) gene that led to pneumonia at 3 weeks of age, and the family doctor's warning to my mother that I would not live until the next morning, I have been plagued by illness all of my life, but I am very grateful for the life that I have had, so far lasting almost double the usual death of CF sufferers in their early forties.

I have always been an optimist, as is evident in this thread: Walter Hay, Imp/Export Extraordinaire (Vandalay Industries)

Born into poverty, living in poverty as a child, bashed by every "brave" bully in the areas where I lived - on one occasion passing out near death as a couple of bullies were kicking me while I was on the pavement. At that stage they were kicking me in the head. Fortunately a passer - by pulled them off me and sent them running.

My CF gene resulted in chronic illness all my life, with pneumonia every 6 weeks or so, but I kept going. When selling for a chemical company I had to attend the office every Friday and hand over my call sheets. That was not a problem because my call rate was double that averaged by sales reps, even when feeling ill.

I would often head off to do my sales round even though I knew that pneumonia was developing, but I kept on selling until I was too ill to continue. I was too weak to drive normally, so I reclined my seat slightly, and drove while lying back in the seat, using third gear even for starting off and rounding corners. Changing gears exhausted me.

I made it home and tooted the horn as I entered our driveway. My wife came out and hauled me out of the car and held me up while I staggered inside where I collapsed on the floor.

But.... I never gave up and I never wallowed in self pity. I knew that most CF sufferers died at an early age, and here I am at 85 - a rarity being still alive, and grateful for all the successes in my life; not only business successes but also just staying alive.

I see CF sufferers hauling around a trolly carrying an oxygen bottle and I think how well off I am without that.

Walter

 

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[Walter Hay]

This is inspiring Walter thanks for sharing. What gave you the strength to pull through time and time again despite all the obstacles? Is it something you were born with or did you learn to cultivate it?

I think it was hereditary. My mother was tough, and also canny. The latter was displayed when during a time of housing shortages (WW2) and needing to house herself, 3 adult daughters, a little baby, and me, she outmaneuvered the long line of women who were already queuing down 2 flights of stairs awaiting the landlady's arrival.

Mum walked back to the tram stop (end of the line) and waited until a woman wearing a fur coat stepped out. Mum approached her and asked if she had a flat to let. The reply was yes, so Mum offered to pay double!!! and out of her meagre supply of cash she also offered to pay in advance on the spot.

My father was also tough, having walked hundreds of miles in the countryside with his cousin, often setting up as a bare-knuckle boxer, taking on all the local farm hands. His cousin acted as bookmaker and they raked in the cash because dad was never beaten. I was a midget compared to my father and 4 brothers.

He was also an entrepreneur, establishing and building a large trucking business in the city. It flourished until the Great Depression struck and he lost everything except his beloved brand new car, which he hid from the authorities. He loaded children and belongings in the car, on the roof, on the running boards and headed for the countryside where he built a shack where several more children were added to the number he had to feed.

Being inventive he talked his way into a job as the cement works maintenance engineer, where he had to make his own tools to suit the machinery. He walked 7 miles to work and back each day.

The example provided by my parents was a great inspiration.

Walter

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Got a lot of feedback on this one, some great little stories, here's a few...





To put this into a usable habit, give yourself a "trigger phrase" that helps you shift perspective from your current micro-level situation, to macro-level.

I didn’t want to bring too much attention to it in the article, but my trigger phrase is only two words...

Pancreatic Cancer.

When I think about that disease and what it does to people, like Steve Jobs, it always snaps me back into perspective.

Getting scammed out of a few bucks ain't so bad.
Getting flipped off because I'm driving the speed limit, not so bad.
Having some clown call me a scammer simply because I write books about money, meh, no big deal.

I'm healthy.
The bills are paid.
I have my 3 warms...

 

[Walter Hay]

For any young person who’s complaining “oh school is so hard” or life is unfair… please read Walter’s post 10 times. Or more. Until it sinks in - no self pity, no victim mentality… own your life. You can’t control what happens to you, you can control your actions.

Thanks for posting this Walter. We all need people like you in our lives.

Sometimes life will seem unfair, but that is really a product of a person's expectations and hopes. One of my brothers who was a rebel, during military service, was disciplined for "Being in a state of military undress, and failing to salute an officer,"
His punishment was to empty a 45 gallon drum of water into an empty 45 gallon drum using a teaspoon......... So what did he do? He visited the officers' mess and returned to his tedious and rather pointless exercise carrying a utensil that he supposedly found on the floor.
His little rebellion rewarded him with only another disciplinary punishment. Was life unfair or did he simply make matters worse for himself?

Walter
P.S. Make the best outcome you can from whatever life dishes up for you.

Walter, what kept you going? How did you avoid not feeling like a victim or being angry about your circumstances?

Although this is borderline metaphysical, I believe your mindset and optimism are the biggest factors that allowed you to lead the long and fulfilling life you've had. People often "jinx" or "curse" themselves with statistics... and they too become a statistic.

But not you. How did you avoid doing that?

As a child I saw no way out of poverty and repeatedly being beaten up by bullies so I devised a way out of those two "curses". For the poverty problem I stole food. The frequent beatings were overcome by devising an imitation martial arts maneuver that my tiny size and weight allowed because my reflexes were (like my father's) as quick as lightning. I managed to drop the bully, giving him a black eye in the process, and then running for my life.

Lately, I’ve been taking a bus home, I would always be like “of course, it’s late, I hate this bus.”

I thought about all those people who have to walk miles to get home, have to cook their own meals, if they’re lucky enough to have one.

I used to complain about dinner not being ready for me.

I hated it how I have to go to a strict school.

There are kids who’s parents are being kidnapped right now. Kids who have abusive parents. Kids who can’t get a proper education.

1. I learnt to shut my mouth. Atleast I have a safe way to get home. Atleast I can eat safely. Atleast I get clean water. Atleast I have a nice soft mattress. atleast I have a warm shower.

I have more than all that. I should be very grateful for this. I have time to go to the gym, hang out with my friends, and pursue entrepreneurship.

My grandma always said “thank god we have food.” “Thank god we have a roof over our head.” “Thank god we have clean water.”

Now I understand. There are kids my age who are fighting for their damn lives and I’m over here complaining that my dinner isn’t ready.

Always be grateful for what you have, including family.

Atleast I have my 3 warms, 1 loving family, 1 soft bed, and 1 solid roof over my head.

No bus service option for me. I had to walk over a mile each way, dragging my little sister uphill and downhill. (The hills were steep.) That was after, at almost 5 years of age, on a single gas ring cooking meals consisting mainly of scraps brought home by my mother after working her second job each day at a restaurant. I had become the family cook.

I had 1 warm, sleeping on a double bed mattress, shared with my mother on one side of me, eldest sister on the other side (very warm) another sister at the foot of the bed, and countless bed bugs feasting on us.

The water was clean, but cold. As I stripped off one morning I held my arms in the air and said "Look mum - Auschwitz". She burst into tears. Another warm - My mum and my sisters loved me.

Yes, always be grateful for what you have.

Walter

 

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[Alexx7]

Hi! Lol, good post. I get your email today and then register. When I move from Kyiv when war happens to the village I don't have warm bed, warm shower and warm meal. But I was eternally grateful to the Universe for the fact that I was alive and well, and that my relatives and friends were also alive and well. I am still grateful every day for having the opportunity to live and create. Thanks for your letter!

 

[windchaser]

Amazing reflection, very stoic

Back in 2019 I was in my best moment, happy family, good friends, just sold my company and was starting my new one...
And all of a sudden, the world shattered below my feet. Out of the blue, my husband got diagnosed with a lymphoma.

I realized that gratitude, living the moment and especially not getting anxious about what you cannot control is the key to happiness.

Now he is fully recovered and clean for several years. But still, during thise horrible months (including the last of them during the pandemic), we learnt to enjoy and cherish every moment and be grateful for it, as we were very aware they could be the last.

 

[ZackerySprague]

From the Life in the Fastlane newsletter.

My wife hates that I have an affinity for watching and reading about true crime stories. Turns out I'm not alone.


Anyway, there's an odd reason I'm hooked on watching murder documentaries, and they lead to the two strategies I use to continually be happy and raise my baseline for happiness.


No, I don't have some twisted fascination with crime. But it reminds me to not sweat the "small stuff," and most everything is small.

When I watch true crime documentaries, I look beyond the human tragedy (which my wife cannot do) and instead experience immense gratitude and perspective, two things that scientifically can lead to happiness.


True crime shows me how lucky I am to have my loved ones while being able to pursue my best life. It gives me a punch of perspective, a mental knife that cuts through the fog of trivial complaints and zooms in on what truly matters.


I recently did a Cameo video, a pep-talk for a man who was enduring struggles in his life. In that video, I tried to share these two ideas of gratitude and perspective, as they were the strategies that guided me during my rough times, as they do today when I'm complaining about tax increases, corrupt politicians, and rude people.


Take war, for instance. There's someone, right now, literally fighting to survive. Conversely, you might be in a metaphorical battle to get that promotion or launch your startup. Recognize this for what it is—a privilege.


Think about that.


You're fighting for a dream, while others are fighting for food, shelter, and water. They're fighting to survive. If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, well, you're doing spectacularly well.


The same can be said about health. I might dread the idea of my early morning walk, but hey, I *can* walk without the threat of being bombed, mugged, or kidnapped. Whenever I lose perspective, I mutter to myself, "Well, you don't have pancreatic cancer," which, by most measures, is a death sentence. This simple, morbid statement is another mental punch that knocks sense into me.


Another cognitive gut-punch I use is freedom, which most of us take for granted. When faced with the angst of some trivial matter—someone cut me off, scammed, or misled me—I tell myself that I'm not pacing in a prison cell convicted of manslaughter or subject to reeducation in some gulag while doing back-breaking labor. I'm still free to think, speak, and exist as I am, as are you. This simple autonomy is a cornerstone of your well-being that we too often overlook.


And let's not forget the little black mirror we all carry—our smartphones. I preach a lot about social media toxicity but remember, the entire repository of human knowledge is literally in your pocket. Hell, if you had Elon Musk or Taylor Swift's telephone number, you could immediately reach them from your pocket. Again, think about amazing truth. Between this knowledge and access, previous generations would've killed for this privilege. Don't squander it with endless doom-scrolling on TikTok.

So when life beats you down—bills, tax increases, poor ad results—remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for. You have an opportunity not just to survive but to pursue your dreams. Your best life.


None of this is some woo-woo I made up. The psychological benefits of gratitude and perspective are well-documented. One seminal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept weekly gratitude journals were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and exercised more than those who focused on neutral or negative aspects. The grass is already greener in your pasture. This research, led by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, lends scientific credence to the idea that focusing on what you're thankful for can positively impact well-being (source).

Another study delved into how the mere act of reframing a situation—again, perspective— to see the silver lining could foster better mental health. Published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, this study suggests that optimistic thinking styles, like positive reframing, are associated with various health benefits, including lower levels of depression and even better cardiovascular health (source).'


In a world where the narrative is often tuned to what we lack or how we could be better, flipping The Script is not radical but revolutionary. The powers-at-be want you to be angry, divided, and depressed as it makes you controllably monetizable. Don't be a slave to their whims.

So here's the mic-drop that only perspective and gratitude can deliver: If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.

View attachment 52010

Best wishes,
MJ DeMarco, Entrepreneur, Author


PS: Here are some questions to ponder regarding perspective and gratitude in your life.

1 How can you practice gratitude daily beyond acknowledging our current treasures in life?
2 How do you balance a heightened sense of perspective for happiness so it does not deter you from achieving more?
3 How does the digital age contribute to our skewed perspective, and how can we counterbalance that?

Thank you for the video. It meant a lot and for guidance you have provided.

Lessons I need to learn, I do hope the video does help others though if you are in the same boat.

I do think others other than myself should hear this.

My perspective of life for the past several months if not longer was shaded, all I could see what disaster, destruction, and loss.

I'm grateful for @Runum @MJ DeMarco for helping me.

I could see why after the video on why and how I lost perspective. And for not being grateful for where I was.

I'm not afraid to admit my faults and this is one of them.

So thank you guys, you are the best.

Greg's analogy was "Look outside, tell me what do you see?" And what you see is your current perspective.

In some aspects I should have known better to practice but I lost my humanitarian sense.

I know of an old lady who was homeless and everything I visited her was when I was grateful for having a place. But at the same time I wanted to help her find a place.

I'm grateful for the reminder.

 

[amp0193]

I did a lot of reading into stoicism back in the day after learning about it here. Improved my outlook and gratitude for getting to experience this cool journey that I am on.

I often consider and then think about what it would be like to actually experience the “worst case scenarios” we often have anxieties over (take bankruptcy for example). It’s always not actually that bad, and it’s freeing to know that even the worst case is ultimately ok in the end, so you can put in your effort and detach yourself from having to hit the result at all costs.

In the end, you’ve still got the 3 warmths.


Now my challenge is trying to instill this in my kids, who by all respects, are living a very comfortable life… that they are so far, taking mostly for granted.

 

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[Jon822]

Got a lot of feedback on this one, some great little stories, here's a few...

View attachment 52021

View attachment 52020

To put this into a usable habit, give yourself a "trigger phrase" that helps you shift perspective from your current micro-level situation, to macro-level.

I didn’t want to bring too much attention to it in the article, but my trigger phrase is only two words...

Pancreatic Cancer.

When I think about that disease and what it does to people, like Steve Jobs, it always snaps me back into perspective.

Getting scammed out of a few bucks ain't so bad.
Getting flipped off because I'm driving the speed limit, not so bad.
Having some clown call me a scammer simply because I write books about money, meh, no big deal.

I'm healthy.
The bills are paid.
I have my 3 warms...

One of my best friends lost his dad to pancreatic cancer before we graduated high school and I remember looking up the mortality rate way back then. It's been one of my most potent "quit whining about trivial shit, you have a lot to be grateful for" reminders so it's interesting that it is yours as well. Absolutely awful disease. Really valuable post, though!

 

[Black_Dragon43]

Thank you for the sobering suggestions that should help many forum members.
Having entered this world while carrying a deadly Cystic Fibrosis (CF) gene that led to pneumonia at 3 weeks of age, and the family doctor's warning to my mother that I would not live until the next morning, I have been plagued by illness all of my life, but I am very grateful for the life that I have had, so far lasting almost double the usual death of CF sufferers in their early forties.

I have always been an optimist, as is evident in this thread: Walter Hay, Imp/Export Extraordinaire (Vandalay Industries)

Born into poverty, living in poverty as a child, bashed by every "brave" bully in the areas where I lived - on one occasion passing out near death as a couple of bullies were kicking me while I was on the pavement. At that stage they were kicking me in the head. Fortunately a passer - by pulled them off me and sent them running.

My CF gene resulted in chronic illness all my life, with pneumonia every 6 weeks or so, but I kept going. When selling for a chemical company I had to attend the office every Friday and hand over my call sheets. That was not a problem because my call rate was double that averaged by sales reps, even when feeling ill.

I would often head off to do my sales round even though I knew that pneumonia was developing, but I kept on selling until I was too ill to continue. I was too weak to drive normally, so I reclined my seat slightly, and drove while lying back in the seat, using third gear even for starting off and rounding corners. Changing gears exhausted me.

I made it home and tooted the horn as I entered our driveway. My wife came out and hauled me out of the car and held me up while I staggered inside where I collapsed on the floor.

But.... I never gave up and I never wallowed in self pity. I knew that most CF sufferers died at an early age, and here I am at 85 - a rarity being still alive, and grateful for all the successes in my life; not only business successes but also just staying alive.

I see CF sufferers hauling around a trolly carrying an oxygen bottle and I think how well off I am without that.

Walter

This is inspiring Walter thanks for sharing. What gave you the strength to pull through time and time again despite all the obstacles? Is it something you were born with or did you learn to cultivate it?

 

[Antifragile]

Thank you for the sobering suggestions that should help many forum members.
Having entered this world while carrying a deadly Cystic Fibrosis (CF) gene that led to pneumonia at 3 weeks of age, and the family doctor's warning to my mother that I would not live until the next morning, I have been plagued by illness all of my life, but I am very grateful for the life that I have had, so far lasting almost double the usual death of CF sufferers in their early forties.

I have always been an optimist, as is evident in this thread: Walter Hay, Imp/Export Extraordinaire (Vandalay Industries)

Born into poverty, living in poverty as a child, bashed by every "brave" bully in the areas where I lived - on one occasion passing out near death as a couple of bullies were kicking me while I was on the pavement. At that stage they were kicking me in the head. Fortunately a passer - by pulled them off me and sent them running.

My CF gene resulted in chronic illness all my life, with pneumonia every 6 weeks or so, but I kept going. When selling for a chemical company I had to attend the office every Friday and hand over my call sheets. That was not a problem because my call rate was double that averaged by sales reps, even when feeling ill.

I would often head off to do my sales round even though I knew that pneumonia was developing, but I kept on selling until I was too ill to continue. I was too weak to drive normally, so I reclined my seat slightly, and drove while lying back in the seat, using third gear even for starting off and rounding corners. Changing gears exhausted me.

I made it home and tooted the horn as I entered our driveway. My wife came out and hauled me out of the car and held me up while I staggered inside where I collapsed on the floor.

But.... I never gave up and I never wallowed in self pity. I knew that most CF sufferers died at an early age, and here I am at 85 - a rarity being still alive, and grateful for all the successes in my life; not only business successes but also just staying alive.

I see CF sufferers hauling around a trolly carrying an oxygen bottle and I think how well off I am without that.

Walter

For any young person who’s complaining “oh school is so hard” or life is unfair… please read Walter’s post 10 times. Or more. Until it sinks in - no self pity, no victim mentality… own your life. You can’t control what happens to you, you can control your actions.

Thanks for posting this Walter. We all need people like you in our lives.

 

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[Johnny boy]

great post.

 

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[conti]

From the Life in the Fastlane newsletter.

My wife hates that I have an affinity for watching and reading about true crime stories. Turns out I'm not alone.


Anyway, there's an odd reason I'm hooked on watching murder documentaries, and they lead to the two strategies I use to continually be happy and raise my baseline for happiness.


No, I don't have some twisted fascination with crime. But it reminds me to not sweat the "small stuff," and most everything is small.


When I watch true crime documentaries, I look beyond the human tragedy (which my wife cannot do) and instead experience immense gratitude and perspective, two things that scientifically can lead to happiness.


True crime shows me how lucky I am to have my loved ones while being able to pursue my best life. It gives me a punch of perspective, a mental knife that cuts through the fog of trivial complaints and zooms in on what truly matters.


I recently did a Cameo video, a pep-talk for a man who was enduring struggles in his life. In that video, I tried to share these two ideas of gratitude and perspective, as they were the strategies that guided me during my rough times, as they do today when I'm complaining about tax increases, corrupt politicians, and rude people.


Take war, for instance. There's someone, right now, literally fighting to survive. Conversely, you might be in a metaphorical battle to get that promotion or launch your startup. Recognize this for what it is—a privilege.


Think about that.


You're fighting for a dream, while others are fighting for food, shelter, and water. They're fighting to survive. If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, well, you're doing spectacularly well.


The same can be said about health. I might dread the idea of my early morning walk, but hey, I *can* walk without the threat of being bombed, mugged, or kidnapped. Whenever I lose perspective, I mutter to myself, "Well, you don't have pancreatic cancer," which, by most measures, is a death sentence. This simple, morbid statement is another mental punch that knocks sense into me.


Another cognitive gut-punch I use is freedom, which most of us take for granted. When faced with the angst of some trivial matter—someone cut me off, scammed, or misled me—I tell myself that I'm not pacing in a prison cell convicted of manslaughter or subject to reeducation in some gulag while doing back-breaking labor. I'm still free to think, speak, and exist as I am, as are you. This simple autonomy is a cornerstone of your well-being that we too often overlook.


And let's not forget the little black mirror we all carry—our smartphones. I preach a lot about social media toxicity but remember, the entire repository of human knowledge is literally in your pocket. Hell, if you had Elon Musk or Taylor Swift's telephone number, you could immediately reach them from your pocket. Again, think about amazing truth. Between this knowledge and access, previous generations would've killed for this privilege. Don't squander it with endless doom-scrolling on TikTok.

So when life beats you down—bills, tax increases, poor ad results—remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for. You have an opportunity not just to survive but to pursue your dreams. Your best life.


None of this is some woo-woo I made up.

The psychological benefits of gratitude and perspective are well-documented. One seminal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept weekly gratitude journals were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and exercised more than those who focused on neutral or negative aspects. The grass is already greener in your pasture. This research, led by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, lends scientific credence to the idea that focusing on what you're thankful for can positively impact well-being (source).

Another study delved into how the mere act of reframing a situation—again, perspective— to see the silver lining could foster better mental health. Published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, this study suggests that optimistic thinking styles, like positive reframing, are associated with various health benefits, including lower levels of depression and even better cardiovascular health (source).'


In a world where the narrative is often tuned to what we lack or how we could be better, flipping The Script is not radical but revolutionary. The powers-at-be want you to be angry, divided, and depressed as it makes you controllably monetizable. Don't be a slave to their whims.

So here's the mic-drop that only perspective and gratitude can deliver: If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.

View attachment 52010

Best wishes,
MJ DeMarco, Entrepreneur, Author


PS: Here are some questions to ponder regarding perspective and gratitude in your life.

1 How can you practice gratitude daily beyond acknowledging our current treasures in life?
2 How do you balance a heightened sense of perspective for happiness so it does not deter you from achieving more?
3 How does the digital age contribute to our skewed perspective, and how can we counterbalance that?

From the Life in the Fastlane newsletter.

My wife hates that I have an affinity for watching and reading about true crime stories. Turns out I'm not alone.


Anyway, there's an odd reason I'm hooked on watching murder documentaries, and they lead to the two strategies I use to continually be happy and raise my baseline for happiness.


No, I don't have some twisted fascination with crime. But it reminds me to not sweat the "small stuff," and most everything is small.


When I watch true crime documentaries, I look beyond the human tragedy (which my wife cannot do) and instead experience immense gratitude and perspective, two things that scientifically can lead to happiness.


True crime shows me how lucky I am to have my loved ones while being able to pursue my best life. It gives me a punch of perspective, a mental knife that cuts through the fog of trivial complaints and zooms in on what truly matters.


I recently did a Cameo video, a pep-talk for a man who was enduring struggles in his life. In that video, I tried to share these two ideas of gratitude and perspective, as they were the strategies that guided me during my rough times, as they do today when I'm complaining about tax increases, corrupt politicians, and rude people.


Take war, for instance. There's someone, right now, literally fighting to survive. Conversely, you might be in a metaphorical battle to get that promotion or launch your startup. Recognize this for what it is—a privilege.


Think about that.


You're fighting for a dream, while others are fighting for food, shelter, and water. They're fighting to survive. If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, well, you're doing spectacularly well.


The same can be said about health. I might dread the idea of my early morning walk, but hey, I *can* walk without the threat of being bombed, mugged, or kidnapped. Whenever I lose perspective, I mutter to myself, "Well, you don't have pancreatic cancer," which, by most measures, is a death sentence. This simple, morbid statement is another mental punch that knocks sense into me.


Another cognitive gut-punch I use is freedom, which most of us take for granted. When faced with the angst of some trivial matter—someone cut me off, scammed, or misled me—I tell myself that I'm not pacing in a prison cell convicted of manslaughter or subject to reeducation in some gulag while doing back-breaking labor. I'm still free to think, speak, and exist as I am, as are you. This simple autonomy is a cornerstone of your well-being that we too often overlook.


And let's not forget the little black mirror we all carry—our smartphones. I preach a lot about social media toxicity but remember, the entire repository of human knowledge is literally in your pocket. Hell, if you had Elon Musk or Taylor Swift's telephone number, you could immediately reach them from your pocket. Again, think about amazing truth. Between this knowledge and access, previous generations would've killed for this privilege. Don't squander it with endless doom-scrolling on TikTok.

So when life beats you down—bills, tax increases, poor ad results—remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for. You have an opportunity not just to survive but to pursue your dreams. Your best life.


None of this is some woo-woo I made up.

The psychological benefits of gratitude and perspective are well-documented. One seminal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept weekly gratitude journals were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and exercised more than those who focused on neutral or negative aspects. The grass is already greener in your pasture. This research, led by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, lends scientific credence to the idea that focusing on what you're thankful for can positively impact well-being (source).

Another study delved into how the mere act of reframing a situation—again, perspective— to see the silver lining could foster better mental health. Published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, this study suggests that optimistic thinking styles, like positive reframing, are associated with various health benefits, including lower levels of depression and even better cardiovascular health (source).'


In a world where the narrative is often tuned to what we lack or how we could be better, flipping The Script is not radical but revolutionary. The powers-at-be want you to be angry, divided, and depressed as it makes you controllably monetizable. Don't be a slave to their whims.

So here's the mic-drop that only perspective and gratitude can deliver: If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.

View attachment 52010

Best wishes,
MJ DeMarco, Entrepreneur, Author


PS: Here are some questions to ponder regarding perspective and gratitude in your life.

1 How can you practice gratitude daily beyond acknowledging our current treasures in life?
2 How do you balance a heightened sense of perspective for happiness so it does not deter you from achieving more?
3 How does the digital age contribute to our skewed perspective, and how can we counterbalance that?

Thank you very much for these words!

One of your best posts in my opinion.

 

[Raoul Duke]

Untethered soul then surrender experiment?

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Untethered soul then surrender experiment?

Either one, either order. The Surrender Experiment has an entrepreneurial thread throughout it.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Have you listened to the audiobooks?

Yes, both. Most of everything I "read" goes through audiobook.

 

[oneac]

Where does one draw the line between being grateful and accepting the Script? For most people FTE comes due to not liking their current scenario (mediocre comfort). But if people are way too grateful for it they may never have their FTE(wouldnt it be selfish? Someone is dying to stay alive and you are hating your job that pays you monthly, come on). So how to actually navigate that balance?

Ironically I believe gratitude acts as a propellant for my fast lane goals not a hinderance. For example, being grateful for this shit job I have makes me feel like I’m completing a necessary step in the unscription process - I cannot build a business if I’m struggling to get food.

When I get into an apartment I’ll be grateful to have a home base to securely “swing the bat” of business. I can’t take multiple risks in business if the first one leaves me poor in the streets with no money.

As for gratitude and how it relates to an FTE, I don’t necessarily think being grateful will stop an FTE either. Living a mediocre existence filled will useless spending is probably the OPPOSITE of gratitude because you keep on spending money on distractions to medicate your mediocre existence. Gratitude on the other hand is steeped in consciousness, in other words, you can’t be grateful if you don’t make the effort to be in the moment to enjoy whatever experience you’re having.

Step one in gratitude in consciousness, to have an FTE you must be conscious of how badly you want to change your life.

 

[Jrjohnny]

Lately, I’ve been taking a bus home, I would always be like “of course, it’s late, I hate this bus.”

I thought about all those people who have to walk miles to get home, have to cook their own meals, if they’re lucky enough to have one.

I used to complain about dinner not being ready for me.

I hated it how I have to go to a strict school.

There are kids who’s parents are being kidnapped right now. Kids who have abusive parents. Kids who can’t get a proper education.

I learnt to shut my mouth. Atleast I have a safe way to get home. Atleast I can eat safely. Atleast I get clean water. Atleast I have a nice soft mattress. atleast I have a warm shower.

I have more than all that. I should be very grateful for this. I have time to go to the gym, hang out with my friends, and pursue entrepreneurship.

My grandma always said “thank god we have food.” “Thank god we have a roof over our head.” “Thank god we have clean water.”

Now I understand. There are kids my age who are fighting for their damn lives and I’m over here complaining that my dinner isn’t ready.

Always be grateful for what you have, including family.

Atleast I have my 3 warms, 1 loving family, 1 soft bed, and 1 solid roof over my head.

 

[Andy Black]

From the Life in the Fastlane newsletter.

My wife hates that I have an affinity for watching and reading about true crime stories. Turns out I'm not alone.


Anyway, there's an odd reason I'm hooked on watching murder documentaries, and they lead to the two strategies I use to continually be happy and raise my baseline for happiness.


No, I don't have some twisted fascination with crime. But it reminds me to not sweat the "small stuff," and most everything is small.


When I watch true crime documentaries, I look beyond the human tragedy (which my wife cannot do) and instead experience immense gratitude and perspective, two things that scientifically can lead to happiness.


True crime shows me how lucky I am to have my loved ones while being able to pursue my best life. It gives me a punch of perspective, a mental knife that cuts through the fog of trivial complaints and zooms in on what truly matters.


I recently did a Cameo video, a pep-talk for a man who was enduring struggles in his life. In that video, I tried to share these two ideas of gratitude and perspective, as they were the strategies that guided me during my rough times, as they do today when I'm complaining about tax increases, corrupt politicians, and rude people.


Take war, for instance. There's someone, right now, literally fighting to survive. Conversely, you might be in a metaphorical battle to get that promotion or launch your startup. Recognize this for what it is—a privilege.


Think about that.


You're fighting for a dream, while others are fighting for food, shelter, and water. They're fighting to survive. If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, well, you're doing spectacularly well.


The same can be said about health. I might dread the idea of my early morning walk, but hey, I *can* walk without the threat of being bombed, mugged, or kidnapped. Whenever I lose perspective, I mutter to myself, "Well, you don't have pancreatic cancer," which, by most measures, is a death sentence. This simple, morbid statement is another mental punch that knocks sense into me.


Another cognitive gut-punch I use is freedom, which most of us take for granted. When faced with the angst of some trivial matter—someone cut me off, scammed, or misled me—I tell myself that I'm not pacing in a prison cell convicted of manslaughter or subject to reeducation in some gulag while doing back-breaking labor. I'm still free to think, speak, and exist as I am, as are you. This simple autonomy is a cornerstone of your well-being that we too often overlook.


And let's not forget the little black mirror we all carry—our smartphones. I preach a lot about social media toxicity but remember, the entire repository of human knowledge is literally in your pocket. Hell, if you had Elon Musk or Taylor Swift's telephone number, you could immediately reach them from your pocket. Again, think about amazing truth. Between this knowledge and access, previous generations would've killed for this privilege. Don't squander it with endless doom-scrolling on TikTok.

So when life beats you down—bills, tax increases, poor ad results—remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for. You have an opportunity not just to survive but to pursue your dreams. Your best life.


None of this is some woo-woo I made up.

The psychological benefits of gratitude and perspective are well-documented. One seminal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept weekly gratitude journals were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and exercised more than those who focused on neutral or negative aspects. The grass is already greener in your pasture. This research, led by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, lends scientific credence to the idea that focusing on what you're thankful for can positively impact well-being (source).

Another study delved into how the mere act of reframing a situation—again, perspective— to see the silver lining could foster better mental health. Published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, this study suggests that optimistic thinking styles, like positive reframing, are associated with various health benefits, including lower levels of depression and even better cardiovascular health (source).'


In a world where the narrative is often tuned to what we lack or how we could be better, flipping The Script is not radical but revolutionary. The powers-at-be want you to be angry, divided, and depressed as it makes you controllably monetizable. Don't be a slave to their whims.

So here's the mic-drop that only perspective and gratitude can deliver: If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.

View attachment 52010

Best wishes,
MJ DeMarco, Entrepreneur, Author


PS: Here are some questions to ponder regarding perspective and gratitude in your life.

1 How can you practice gratitude daily beyond acknowledging our current treasures in life?
2 How do you balance a heightened sense of perspective for happiness so it does not deter you from achieving more?
3 How does the digital age contribute to our skewed perspective, and how can we counterbalance that?

What a great pep talk video MJ. Cameo seems like a great idea.

 

[socaldude]

What was that quote that Einstein said? There are two ways to live your life, one as if nothing is a miracle and the other is as if everything is a miracle.

Very few can see this. Life truly is a gift and a miracle.

For me, striving for morality and spirituality has brought me happiness. I always strive for the best behaviors, words and actions. We live in a world we’re it’s cool to be a hedonist POS.

 

[MaxT]

Thanks a lot for the newsletter @MJ DeMarco, great content.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MTF]

Untethered soul then surrender experiment?

Living Untethered (his most recent work) is IMO his best book. Way clearer and more practical than the Untethered Soul. The Surrender Experiment is a cool autobiography but not very practical.

 

[oneac]

From the Life in the Fastlane Newsletter.

My wife hates that I have an affinity for watching and reading about true crime stories. Turns out I'm not alone.


Anyway, there's an odd reason I'm hooked on watching murder documentaries, and they lead to the two strategies I use to continually be happy and raise my baseline for happiness.


No, I don't have some twisted fascination with crime. But it reminds me to not sweat the "small stuff," and most everything is small.


When I watch true crime documentaries, I look beyond the human tragedy (which my wife cannot do) and instead experience immense gratitude and perspective, two things that scientifically can lead to happiness.


True crime shows me how lucky I am to have my loved ones while being able to pursue my best life. It gives me a punch of perspective, a mental knife that cuts through the fog of trivial complaints and zooms in on what truly matters.


I recently did a Cameo video, a pep-talk for a man who was enduring struggles in his life. In that video, I tried to share these two ideas of gratitude and perspective, as they were the strategies that guided me during my rough times, as they do today when I'm complaining about tax increases, corrupt politicians, and rude people.


Take war, for instance. There's someone, right now, literally fighting to survive. Conversely, you might be in a metaphorical battle to get that promotion or launch your startup. Recognize this for what it is—a privilege.


Think about that.


You're fighting for a dream, while others are fighting for food, shelter, and water. They're fighting to survive. If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, well, you're doing spectacularly well.


The same can be said about health. I might dread the idea of my early morning walk, but hey, I *can* walk without the threat of being bombed, mugged, or kidnapped. Whenever I lose perspective, I mutter to myself, "Well, you don't have pancreatic cancer," which, by most measures, is a death sentence. This simple, morbid statement is another mental punch that knocks sense into me.


Another cognitive gut-punch I use is freedom, which most of us take for granted. When faced with the angst of some trivial matter—someone cut me off, scammed, or misled me—I tell myself that I'm not pacing in a prison cell convicted of manslaughter or subject to reeducation in some gulag while doing back-breaking labor. I'm still free to think, speak, and exist as I am, as are you. This simple autonomy is a cornerstone of your well-being that we too often overlook.


And let's not forget the little black mirror we all carry—our smartphones. I preach a lot about social media toxicity but remember, the entire repository of human knowledge is literally in your pocket. Hell, if you had Elon Musk or Taylor Swift's telephone number, you could immediately reach them from your pocket. Again, think about amazing truth. Between this knowledge and access, previous generations would've killed for this privilege. Don't squander it with endless doom-scrolling on TikTok.

So when life beats you down—bills, tax increases, poor ad results—remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for. You have an opportunity not just to survive but to pursue your dreams. Your best life.


None of this is some woo-woo I made up.

The psychological benefits of gratitude and perspective are well-documented. One seminal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept weekly gratitude journals were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and exercised more than those who focused on neutral or negative aspects. The grass is already greener in your pasture. This research, led by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, lends scientific credence to the idea that focusing on what you're thankful for can positively impact well-being (source).

Another study delved into how the mere act of reframing a situation—again, perspective— to see the silver lining could foster better mental health. Published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, this study suggests that optimistic thinking styles, like positive reframing, are associated with various health benefits, including lower levels of depression and even better cardiovascular health (source).'


In a world where the narrative is often tuned to what we lack or how we could be better, flipping The Script is not radical but revolutionary. The powers-at-be want you to be angry, divided, and depressed as it makes you controllably monetizable. Don't be a slave to their whims.

So here's the mic-drop that only perspective and gratitude can deliver: If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.

View attachment 52010

Best wishes,
MJ DeMarco, Entrepreneur, Author


PS: Here are some questions to ponder regarding perspective and gratitude in your life.

1 How can you practice gratitude daily beyond acknowledging our current treasures in life?
2 How do you balance a heightened sense of perspective for happiness so it does not deter you from achieving more?
3 How does the digital age contribute to our skewed perspective, and how can we counterbalance that?

It’s so funny how having less can often force us to realize how privileged we are.

I’m coming to realize that every tool I have to survive and thrive while living in my car serves my needs so well (air mattered to sleep, car to get to work, bread I can eat without a fridge or fancy storage) and that I’m lucky to have any of this. There are people sleeping on the cold concrete, I could be just like that.

A fun way to practice gratitude besides gratitude journaling is to take pictures in moments you feel happy and grateful. After finishing a hike I was grateful to see my car clean so I snapped this

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

You mentioned a while back in a thread. That listened to 2000+ hours while sleeping. Have you found a earbud that works best?

I found a few earbuds that mention "sleep" in the title. Soundcore by Anker Sleep A10 Earbuds.

I have some JBL earbuds, they are several years old but they work great for my sleep. Not sure if they even sell 'em any longer.

 

[Jinzou]

From the Life in the Fastlane Newsletter.

My wife hates that I have an affinity for watching and reading about true crime stories. Turns out I'm not alone.


Anyway, there's an odd reason I'm hooked on watching murder documentaries, and they lead to the two strategies I use to continually be happy and raise my baseline for happiness.


No, I don't have some twisted fascination with crime. But it reminds me to not sweat the "small stuff," and most everything is small.


When I watch true crime documentaries, I look beyond the human tragedy (which my wife cannot do) and instead experience immense gratitude and perspective, two things that scientifically can lead to happiness.


True crime shows me how lucky I am to have my loved ones while being able to pursue my best life. It gives me a punch of perspective, a mental knife that cuts through the fog of trivial complaints and zooms in on what truly matters.


I recently did a Cameo video, a pep-talk for a man who was enduring struggles in his life. In that video, I tried to share these two ideas of gratitude and perspective, as they were the strategies that guided me during my rough times, as they do today when I'm complaining about tax increases, corrupt politicians, and rude people.


Take war, for instance. There's someone, right now, literally fighting to survive. Conversely, you might be in a metaphorical battle to get that promotion or launch your startup. Recognize this for what it is—a privilege.


Think about that.


You're fighting for a dream, while others are fighting for food, shelter, and water. They're fighting to survive. If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, well, you're doing spectacularly well.


The same can be said about health. I might dread the idea of my early morning walk, but hey, I *can* walk without the threat of being bombed, mugged, or kidnapped. Whenever I lose perspective, I mutter to myself, "Well, you don't have pancreatic cancer," which, by most measures, is a death sentence. This simple, morbid statement is another mental punch that knocks sense into me.


Another cognitive gut-punch I use is freedom, which most of us take for granted. When faced with the angst of some trivial matter—someone cut me off, scammed, or misled me—I tell myself that I'm not pacing in a prison cell convicted of manslaughter or subject to reeducation in some gulag while doing back-breaking labor. I'm still free to think, speak, and exist as I am, as are you. This simple autonomy is a cornerstone of your well-being that we too often overlook.


And let's not forget the little black mirror we all carry—our smartphones. I preach a lot about social media toxicity but remember, the entire repository of human knowledge is literally in your pocket. Hell, if you had Elon Musk or Taylor Swift's telephone number, you could immediately reach them from your pocket. Again, think about amazing truth. Between this knowledge and access, previous generations would've killed for this privilege. Don't squander it with endless doom-scrolling on TikTok.

So when life beats you down—bills, tax increases, poor ad results—remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for. You have an opportunity not just to survive but to pursue your dreams. Your best life.


None of this is some woo-woo I made up.

The psychological benefits of gratitude and perspective are well-documented. One seminal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept weekly gratitude journals were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and exercised more than those who focused on neutral or negative aspects. The grass is already greener in your pasture. This research, led by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, lends scientific credence to the idea that focusing on what you're thankful for can positively impact well-being (source).

Another study delved into how the mere act of reframing a situation—again, perspective— to see the silver lining could foster better mental health. Published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, this study suggests that optimistic thinking styles, like positive reframing, are associated with various health benefits, including lower levels of depression and even better cardiovascular health (source).'


In a world where the narrative is often tuned to what we lack or how we could be better, flipping The Script is not radical but revolutionary. The powers-at-be want you to be angry, divided, and depressed as it makes you controllably monetizable. Don't be a slave to their whims.

So here's the mic-drop that only perspective and gratitude can deliver: If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.

View attachment 52010

Best wishes,
MJ DeMarco, Entrepreneur, Author


PS: Here are some questions to ponder regarding perspective and gratitude in your life.

1 How can you practice gratitude daily beyond acknowledging our current treasures in life?
2 How do you balance a heightened sense of perspective for happiness so it does not deter you from achieving more?
3 How does the digital age contribute to our skewed perspective, and how can we counterbalance that?

Thank you MJ, this is something very precious to keep in mind.

I can't say enough how grateful I am to have found your books, this forum and it's amazing people.

 

[Joyousli]

I have the same fascination with crime documentaries. For me it's because I can't fathom how some people behave. I suppose I should be grateful I haven't got a criminal mind.

 

[Mattie]

From the Life in the Fastlane Newsletter.

My wife hates that I have an affinity for watching and reading about true crime stories. Turns out I'm not alone.


Anyway, there's an odd reason I'm hooked on watching murder documentaries, and they lead to the two strategies I use to continually be happy and raise my baseline for happiness.


No, I don't have some twisted fascination with crime. But it reminds me to not sweat the "small stuff," and most everything is small.


When I watch true crime documentaries, I look beyond the human tragedy (which my wife cannot do) and instead experience immense gratitude and perspective, two things that scientifically can lead to happiness.


True crime shows me how lucky I am to have my loved ones while being able to pursue my best life. It gives me a punch of perspective, a mental knife that cuts through the fog of trivial complaints and zooms in on what truly matters.


I recently did a Cameo video, a pep-talk for a man who was enduring struggles in his life. In that video, I tried to share these two ideas of gratitude and perspective, as they were the strategies that guided me during my rough times, as they do today when I'm complaining about tax increases, corrupt politicians, and rude people.


Take war, for instance. There's someone, right now, literally fighting to survive. Conversely, you might be in a metaphorical battle to get that promotion or launch your startup. Recognize this for what it is—a privilege.


Think about that.


You're fighting for a dream, while others are fighting for food, shelter, and water. They're fighting to survive. If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, well, you're doing spectacularly well.


The same can be said about health. I might dread the idea of my early morning walk, but hey, I *can* walk without the threat of being bombed, mugged, or kidnapped. Whenever I lose perspective, I mutter to myself, "Well, you don't have pancreatic cancer," which, by most measures, is a death sentence. This simple, morbid statement is another mental punch that knocks sense into me.


Another cognitive gut-punch I use is freedom, which most of us take for granted. When faced with the angst of some trivial matter—someone cut me off, scammed, or misled me—I tell myself that I'm not pacing in a prison cell convicted of manslaughter or subject to reeducation in some gulag while doing back-breaking labor. I'm still free to think, speak, and exist as I am, as are you. This simple autonomy is a cornerstone of your well-being that we too often overlook.


And let's not forget the little black mirror we all carry—our smartphones. I preach a lot about social media toxicity but remember, the entire repository of human knowledge is literally in your pocket. Hell, if you had Elon Musk or Taylor Swift's telephone number, you could immediately reach them from your pocket. Again, think about amazing truth. Between this knowledge and access, previous generations would've killed for this privilege. Don't squander it with endless doom-scrolling on TikTok.

So when life beats you down—bills, tax increases, poor ad results—remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for. You have an opportunity not just to survive but to pursue your dreams. Your best life.


None of this is some woo-woo I made up.

The psychological benefits of gratitude and perspective are well-documented. One seminal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept weekly gratitude journals were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and exercised more than those who focused on neutral or negative aspects. The grass is already greener in your pasture. This research, led by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, lends scientific credence to the idea that focusing on what you're thankful for can positively impact well-being (source).

Another study delved into how the mere act of reframing a situation—again, perspective— to see the silver lining could foster better mental health. Published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, this study suggests that optimistic thinking styles, like positive reframing, are associated with various health benefits, including lower levels of depression and even better cardiovascular health (source).'


In a world where the narrative is often tuned to what we lack or how we could be better, flipping The Script is not radical but revolutionary. The powers-at-be want you to be angry, divided, and depressed as it makes you controllably monetizable. Don't be a slave to their whims.

So here's the mic-drop that only perspective and gratitude can deliver: If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.

View attachment 52010

Best wishes,
MJ DeMarco, Entrepreneur, Author


PS: Here are some questions to ponder regarding perspective and gratitude in your life.

1 How can you practice gratitude daily beyond acknowledging our current treasures in life?
2 How do you balance a heightened sense of perspective for happiness so it does not deter you from achieving more?
3 How does the digital age contribute to our skewed perspective, and how can we counterbalance that?

I do study a lot of forensics myself, crime stories, and it' similar in the fact, it's learning the psychology, the motivations, the intentions, the deeper subconscious side of them why they would take certain actions to wound others in society. Saboteurs and probably why Crime Novels have always been popular.

All goes with manipulation of emotions, thoughts, feelings, strategy, motivations, and intentions.

While many times you see some people are falsely accused and get liberation for false accusations and have been in prison for many years.

I believe it's always a double-edged sword and works both ways.

I know changing gears back to the U.S., it's been interesting watching gossip, smear campaigns, and everything in the physical instead of online. I've seen more people get fired or leaving on their own April to October then I ever have in my entire life.

I'm all good with Camera's everywhere and use it for leverage. Since, it's all about taking everything i learned in here and online and seeing the systematic failures. I believe many of them think I'm weird, because i don't join in the cliques, and don't worry about obstacles, roadblocks, delays, and don't complain. The whole point is having this job for a steppingstone and being a minimalist to get to where i want to be.

All about actions and making those right actions. While some people might not like me joining in with other people all the time, it's simply because I've been on this forum and online and a whole different perspective and masterd a lot of things. It's amazing how everyone assumes you're at the same emotional and mental reality as them.

It's been a weird transition returning to and old world and still leaving the past behind. Back in a world like the Whiplash movie and Zero absence policy even if you're in the hospital in surgery. This world is a bit cut-throat and always interesting observing life and other interactions, their choices and words.

All about paying attention to the details. Precision, accuracy, and being on target.

As you stated, I have more liberation and freedom then others do right now in 2023. I don't have any luggage to carry around. I don't have anyone to hang on too, and just myself.

Health is number one, and physical body, and then doing what i need to do to build upward.

Physical body is a main focus right now getting back in shape, eating right, sleeping right, and how i use my time.

I'm not sure you can always avoid saboteurs, since they are just a part of life. It's paying attention to your surroundings, what's happening around you, evaluating the situation, and making the best choices you can at the time.

Human nature is fascinating, I know this for sure.

Optimism is the best way to move through life. Still gratitude does go a long way. All about the perspective and focal point. You can look at the negative point of view or positive side.

All about staying balanced in the storm, not being thrown off into the Chaos of society. Steady, stable, secure no matter what it looks like around you at the time.

Fear is the biggest roadblock in anyone's journey. Sometimes you just have to Roar like a Lion and have the courage to face and fears that surface. Since many times on the other side of fear is false evidence appearing real.

Resilience is bouncing back from any trauma, tragedy, obstacle, and roadblock in front of you.

Perhaps, it's embracing both sides the negative and positives of life and understand they will always be part of the journey and all about how you react and respond to situations and people.

Life could always be worse in many different ways.

 

[shubham___3011]

From the Life in the Fastlane newsletter.

My wife hates that I have an affinity for watching and reading about true crime stories. Turns out I'm not alone.


Anyway, there's an odd reason I'm hooked on watching murder documentaries, and they lead to the two strategies I use to continually be happy and raise my baseline for happiness.


No, I don't have some twisted fascination with crime. But it reminds me to not sweat the "small stuff," and most everything is small.


When I watch true crime documentaries, I look beyond the human tragedy (which my wife cannot do) and instead experience immense gratitude and perspective, two things that scientifically can lead to happiness.


True crime shows me how lucky I am to have my loved ones while being able to pursue my best life. It gives me a punch of perspective, a mental knife that cuts through the fog of trivial complaints and zooms in on what truly matters.


I recently did a Cameo video, a pep-talk for a man who was enduring struggles in his life. In that video, I tried to share these two ideas of gratitude and perspective, as they were the strategies that guided me during my rough times, as they do today when I'm complaining about tax increases, corrupt politicians, and rude people.


Take war, for instance. There's someone, right now, literally fighting to survive. Conversely, you might be in a metaphorical battle to get that promotion or launch your startup. Recognize this for what it is—a privilege.


Think about that.


You're fighting for a dream, while others are fighting for food, shelter, and water. They're fighting to survive. If you're currently able to fight for your dreams because you're not busy fighting for your life, well, you're doing spectacularly well.


The same can be said about health. I might dread the idea of my early morning walk, but hey, I *can* walk without the threat of being bombed, mugged, or kidnapped. Whenever I lose perspective, I mutter to myself, "Well, you don't have pancreatic cancer," which, by most measures, is a death sentence. This simple, morbid statement is another mental punch that knocks sense into me.


Another cognitive gut-punch I use is freedom, which most of us take for granted. When faced with the angst of some trivial matter—someone cut me off, scammed, or misled me—I tell myself that I'm not pacing in a prison cell convicted of manslaughter or subject to reeducation in some gulag while doing back-breaking labor. I'm still free to think, speak, and exist as I am, as are you. This simple autonomy is a cornerstone of your well-being that we too often overlook.


And let's not forget the little black mirror we all carry—our smartphones. I preach a lot about social media toxicity but remember, the entire repository of human knowledge is literally in your pocket. Hell, if you had Elon Musk or Taylor Swift's telephone number, you could immediately reach them from your pocket. Again, think about amazing truth. Between this knowledge and access, previous generations would've killed for this privilege. Don't squander it with endless doom-scrolling on TikTok.

So when life beats you down—bills, tax increases, poor ad results—remember the THREE WARMS: If you have a warm bed after a warm shower following a warm meal, congratulations; you have a lot to be thankful for. You have an opportunity not just to survive but to pursue your dreams. Your best life.


None of this is some woo-woo I made up.

The psychological benefits of gratitude and perspective are well-documented. One seminal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept weekly gratitude journals were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and exercised more than those who focused on neutral or negative aspects. The grass is already greener in your pasture. This research, led by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, lends scientific credence to the idea that focusing on what you're thankful for can positively impact well-being (source).

Another study delved into how the mere act of reframing a situation—again, perspective— to see the silver lining could foster better mental health. Published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, this study suggests that optimistic thinking styles, like positive reframing, are associated with various health benefits, including lower levels of depression and even better cardiovascular health (source).'


In a world where the narrative is often tuned to what we lack or how we could be better, flipping The Script is not radical but revolutionary. The powers-at-be want you to be angry, divided, and depressed as it makes you controllably monetizable. Don't be a slave to their whims.

So here's the mic-drop that only perspective and gratitude can deliver: If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams—your best life— you're already living the dream.

I found the perspective shared in the Life in the Fastlane newsletter to be both thought-provoking and uplifting. It's not often that we hear someone express gratitude for the macabre world of true crime, but the way the author uses it as a source of perspective is truly enlightening.

In a world where we're often consumed by trivial complaints and caught up in the daily grind, it's easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. The reminder that many people around the world are facing real struggles for survival while we're pursuing dreams or battling everyday inconveniences is a poignant wake-up call. It's a reminder of the privilege we often take for granted.

Moreover, the emphasis on gratitude and perspective is not just a personal philosophy; it's backed by scientific research. Studies show that focusing on what we're thankful for can improve our mental and emotional well-being. The act of consciously recognizing the silver linings in our lives, no matter how small, can foster a more positive outlook.
The message that "If you're physically, mentally, and geographically able to pursue your dreams, you're already living the dream" is a powerful mic-drop moment. It challenges us to shift our perspective and redefine what success and contentment truly mean.

In a world that sometimes seems fixated on what we lack and how we could be better, this reminder to flip the script and find gratitude in the present is indeed revolutionary. It encourages us not to be slaves to the negative narratives around us, which often seek to divide and depress us. Instead, we're prompted to recognize the privilege of being able to chase our dreams, free to think, speak, and exist in our own way.

Thank you @MJ DeMarco

 

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[ZackerySprague]

A good book that I have read about this change in perspective was by a guy called Benjamin hardy. The GAP vs The GAIN.

 

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