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Up and down: what happens after a full blown existential crisis?

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Robert321

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I had just turned 18 when I begun working as a web developer for a local start-up.
I had no idea what to expect. Previously, I used to code at home 13 hours a day. No, not because I was passionate about it, although I didn't hate it either. I did it because I had to. External factors forced me to work and make my own money to become independent.

Months passed, and the routine of a normal, 9 to 5 job took over.
To somehow counteract that, I begun working more and more in order to get more money.
In about a year, I managed to get from being seen as a junior to leading a small team.
The progress was huge, I thought - until a barrage of questions hit me.

I begun asking myself: Why do I spend most of my time working for them?
I begun asking myself: If it wasn't about money, would I still do it?
I had to admit that the response was NO. No, I wouldn't work if money was not a problem.
I realized was basically exchanging a huge chunk of my time to get money.

This progressed into a full blown existential crisis - the first one I ever had.
It was a dark period, full of suffering and doubting pretty much everything around me.
To this day, I still am grateful for it because it made me question my existing beliefs.
It forced me to think about what I really want in life.

Finally about 1 month ago I got out of it.
I realized money is just a tool that gets to to the real thing: freedom.
Freedom to prioritize whatever matters to you in life, freedom to shape your life as you see fit without any monetary constraints.

My main goal right now: 150 k / year passive revenue in 5 years.
Absurd? Naive? Maybe.
I see all these people making millions and I wonder: if they are able to, why can't I?
Are they just lucky?
If I am working for 5 years straight, is it possible to achieve nothing?
I hardly think so, although I am not sure.
I may be blindly confident in my abilities, I'm still 19 but I found that I'm better at problem solving than most people and I'm also willing to work far longer than most people.

I've been there: working all the time, sleeping near my desk and waking up and continuing to work right after. And you know what? I was enjoying it more than I enjoyed my day to day job.

That's me folks, I hope I didn't get too personal.
Thank you everyone for this forum - it is such a great resource.
I'm looking forward to begin contributing.

Feel free to criticize the hell out of me, if need be, I appreciate any new perspective on what I'm doing
 
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O jef katv vaspif 18 xjip O cihap xusloph et e xic fiwimuqis gus e mudem tvesv-aq.
O jef pu ofie xjev vu iyqidv. Qsiwouatmz, O atif vu dufi ev juni 13 juast e fez. Pu, puv cideati O xet qettoupevi ecuav ov, emvjuahj O fofp'v jevi ov iovjis. O fof ov cideati O jef vu. Iyvispem gedvust gusdif ni vu xusl epf neli nz uxp nupiz vu ciduni opfiqipfipv.

Nupvjt qettif, epf vji suavopi ug e pusnem, 9 vu 5 kuc vuul uwis.
Vu tunijux duapvisedv vjev, O cihap xusloph nusi epf nusi op usfis vu hiv nusi nupiz.
Op ecuav e zies, O nepehif vu hiv gsun cioph tiip et e kapous vu miefoph e tnemm vien.
ji qsuhsitt xet jahi, O vjuahjv - apvom e cessehi ug raitvoupt jov ni.

Vjot lopf ug fifodevoup, gudatif opvu dsievoph vji Aptdsoqvif mogi zua xepv, xomm hiv zua vjisi. Huuf gus zua.

Lpuxoph XJISI zua esi huoph epf JUX zua xepv vu mowi ot e hsiev tvesv.

Epf zua esip'v egseof vu raitvoup eddiqvif dupwipvoupt ug siemovz.

Op uvjis xusft, zua esi XULI.
 
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