Want to get better? Take responsibility

[Mr4213]

Once again, a post from my blog. Link left out. Please let me know what you think.




One of the crucial steps to getting better is to first take responsibility for who, and where you are in life. I understand that many of you are in situations where you cannot honestly believe its your fault. I was faced with many situations growing up that were 100% out of my control. But you have to learn to rid yourself of that mentality. At the end of the day, no outside influence has the power to control who you want to be, or where you want to be. Unless you let them. Yes, outside forces can influence your ability to accomplish those things. But they can’t stop you from accomplishing them unless you let them.

Why taking responsibility is crucial to getting better
To put it simply, only you have the power to change who and where you are. But if you blame outside factors you can never focus on what the real problems are, or even fix them. Many people like to blame external factors for psychological reasons. I think for most people it’s a way to feel okay with producing poor results. A defense mechanism. “Its not my fault I did bad on the test, my teacher isn’t very good” or “It’s not my fault I’m overweight, I’m too busy to work out”. When people can justify producing poor results to themselves they don’t feel bad about doing poorly and other people won’t judge them as harshly. Saying “I did bad on the test because I didn’t study” would invoke a different response from people than “I would’ve done good on the test but my teacher isn’t very good”. That mentality is dangerous and it will prevent you from getting better. When you allow yourself to believe that it isn’t your fault you take away your ability to fix the problem. You don’t feel bad about it. Its not your fault right? You did your best, its not your fault your teacher wasn’t very good. Okay, but why were there some students in the class that got perfect scores on the same test? If the teacher was bad why didn’t you go find another teacher at your school? Why didn’t you use any of the numerous free education websites to help you learn it? There are so many other ways you could have adapted but no, instead you say “It’s not my fault I did bad, my teacher just isn’t very good.” Maybe the teacher really does suck at his job. Even if that is the case, the one that should be blamed for poor performance is yourself. Not the teacher. Outside forces can influence, but not control you. Unless you let them. The teacher is nothing more than an outside force acting on you. But when someone says “It’s his fault, not mine” you have essentially given that force the power to control you and your circumstances. In my opinion, letting any outside force control your decisions and circumstances is one of the worst things a person can do. Perhaps your greatest gift is your freewill. If you don’t like the circumstances you find yourself in you have the power to change it. But once you blame those circumstances on some thing else you lose that power. That is why it is so imperative for you to take responsibility for your circumstances. Once you give up that power to change, how can you expect to get better? If you instead said “Yeah my teacher isn’t very good, but I am going to do whatever it takes to get a good score on the test. The only person that has the power to control my grade is myself.” I’m sure the outcome would have been much different. Why? Because you took responsibility and gave yourself back control.

One reason people don’t get better
Not taking responsibility for yourself and where you are is one reason why many people are not they want to be in their life. If you plan on becoming successful in whatever it is you want to do, you need to go against conventional thinking. I know that sounds a little weird on the surface, but I assure you it is true. Most people blame outside factors for their circumstances. It is such a common thing and I see it from people everyday of the week. In fact, now that I think on it. I do not think I have ever met a person that screwed up and said “This is 100% my fault and here is how I will improve.” I had a friend in the past that started a job and quit after a week because “the manager was mean” and she quit another job two weeks later for some other excuse. The issue wasn’t the jobs, the issue was that she didn’t want to work. She didn’t take responsibility and say “I quit my jobs because I didn’t want to work. I realize my mistake and I will now work to develop myself so that I do not make that mistake again in the future.” People just want things handed to them, like lottery players. It’s not that easy, nothing in life worth having is that easy. The sooner you realize only you have the power to shape your environment the way you want, the sooner you will get there. If you don’t take responsibility for that power you will go wherever the wind takes you. Blaming outside forces will not do a damn thing for you. Blaming external forces means giving power to them. Most people blame external forces, thus most people give up their power to change and they end up staying the same forever. Do this little exercise for me when you are around the city. Listen to how often someone complains about a situation instead of talking about how to fix the situation. It wont take long to see why many people in the world are in circumstances they don’t like.

Successful people get better because they take responsibility
If you think successful people become successful by accident you are mistaken. In fact according to a study released by BMO Private Bank 67 percent of high income earners (One million or more in assets) are self made. According to a report by Singapore-based market research company Wealth x in collaboration with Wall Street Journal’s Custom Studio says of the 585 billionaires in the US, 62% of them are self made. Successful people have certain mindsets that allow them to become successful. One of the mental traits they possess is taking responsibility. They know they have the ability to accomplish things most people wouldn’t even attempt. They know where they want to go and they know they alone are responsible for making it happen. No one will do it for them. They are not complainers. They do not blame other people. They don’t sit and dwell on problems. They adapt, find solutions and keep going. Time spent wasted on complaining is time not spent thinking about a solution. This is but one way they are mentally separated from the general population. The general population is the opposite. Most of them just complain and blame. And then they wonder why they never get anywhere. They don’t take responsibility for the direction of their life. They want to be a victim. They want the easy way. Instead of responsibility they blame it on some thing else and they never get any better. It’s a lot easier to blame than it is to do something about it. My parents were drug addicts. You think they bought me a car? Or taught me to drive? Hell no. I stopped saying “It’s not fair that everyone has cars and I don’t. If I had good parents I’d have a car right now” and instead I said “It’s not anyone else’s fault I don’t have a car but myself. If I want a car I need to stop bitching and get one because no one will do it for me.” I took responsibility and what happened? I saved my money for about 6 months and bought a car with cash and taught myself to drive.

Take responsibility and you will get better!
You have the ability to change your mindset to that of a success minded person. It will take time but if it didn’t than it wouldn’t be worth it. One of the first things you should do is learn to take responsibility for where you are in life right now. You made decisions that put you where you are today. And if you’re one of those struggling kids like I was, you have the ability to make decisions that will get you out of your current situation. If you don’t like your life than change it. If a negative external factor makes its way into your life than adapt. Take responsibility for the situation and find a solution. Even if it 100% is not your fault. Take initiative and solve it on your own accord. I promise that will do far more for you than complaining like most of the population does. “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey” is a book I highly recommend to you. He talks more in depth about some of the things mentioned in this post. Before you can think about becoming successful you should start on your mentality first. If its not in the right place it will hold you back far more than any outside influence could.

What do you think? Agree with me? Disagree? Let me know!

 

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