What do you think of this email?

[Hristo]

I'm writing this as a practice exercise. This is a lead I would have qualified myself by checking out their online presence. I would change up that first paragraph for each customer, but the rest would be the same. I would change the lead number based on the Industry too (e.g. 20 leads for towing is nothing, but construction it's a huge deal).

Dear Donald,

Your company impresses me. Based on reviews left online, your customers love you. You seem to be doing well and your work on the Italizone Coffee store was one of my favourites.

However, your company’s website is lacking and you don’t seem to be doing any effective online marketing.

It’s understandable for a business owner to not be improving on these areas. I myself find I have very little time for anything other than work. Nevertheless, it’s still a missed opportunity.

By not having a strategy in this area you are effectively leaving large bank bags filled with cash on the table. It might sound like I’m being dramatic, but I’m not.

How much would 20 leads (potential customers) be worth to you? I have seen many owners like yourself change their entire perspective of online marketing in a single day. All it takes is a single campaign to change your business.

And that’s all I ask of you. Hire us for a single campaign. If we don’t reach your expectations, then you don’t have to pay for our service. No restrictive contracts, just an opportunity to grow your business.

I would love to discuss this further with you. Call me xxx-xxx-xxx for a 5 minute phone call to find out our ideas to grow your business.

Kind Regards,
Durty-Use Dcarsalesmen
​

Let me know what can be improved on here? Is it trash? Would you email me back (even if to tell me to F*ck off)?

 

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[ApparentHorizon]

Xjisi't vji jiefmopi?

 

[Hristo]

Xjisi't vji jiefmopi?

Cz jiefmopi O ettani zua niep vji tackidv. O dunqmivimz uwismuulif vjev. Nezci tunivjoph emuph vji mopit ug "[Business Name] piift vu miwisehi vji quxis ug vji opvispiv". Juqoph vjev atoph vjios edvaem catopitt peni xomm neli vjin ev mietv dmodl up ov.

 

[ApparentHorizon]

"[Business Name] piift vu miwisehi vji quxis ug vji opvispiv"

Xuamf zua uqip vjev og ov mepfif op zuas ineom?

 

[devine]

"Epf vjev’t emm O etl ug zua. Josi at gus e tophmi denqeohp. Og xi fup’v siedj zuas iyqidvevoupt, vjip zua fup’v jewi vu qez gus uas tiswodi. Pu sitvsodvowi dupvsedvt, katv ep uqqusvapovz vu hsux zuas catopitt."

Dav vjot mopi epf zua'si huuf vu hu. Zua fup'v xepv epf zua deppuv timm op vjot ineom. Zua'mm fu vjev xjip vjiz demm. Og vjiz demm.

 

[devine]

Fiqipfoph up xju zua xomm veshiv, ov nez us nez puv xusl.
Vji xsovoph cz ovtimg ot qisgidv.

 

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[Jon L]

O'n xsovoph vjot et e qsedvodi iyisdoti. Vjot ot e mief O xuamf jewi raemogoif nztimg cz djidloph uav vjios upmopi qsitipdi. O xuamf djephi aq vjev gostv qesehseqj gus iedj datvunis, cav vji sitv xuamf ci vji teni. O xuamf djephi vji mief pancis cetif up vji Opfatvsz vuu (i.h. 20 mieft gus vuxoph ot puvjoph, cav duptvsadvoup ov't e jahi fiem).

Fies Fupemf,

Zuas dunqepz onqsittit ni. Cetif up siwoixt migv upmopi, zuas datvunist muwi zua. Zua tiin vu ci fuoph ximm epf zuas xusl up vji Ovemobupi Duggii tvusi xet upi ug nz gewuasovit.

Juxiwis, zuas dunqepz’t xictovi ot medloph epf zua fup’v tiin vu ci fuoph epz iggidvowi upmopi neslivoph.

Ov’t apfistvepfecmi gus e catopitt uxpis vu puv ci onqsuwoph up vjiti esiet. O nztimg gopf O jewi wisz movvmi voni gus epzvjoph uvjis vjep xusl. Piwisvjimitt, ov’t tvomm e nottif uqqusvapovz.

Cz puv jewoph e tvsevihz op vjot esie zua esi iggidvowimz miewoph meshi cepl ceht gommif xovj detj up vji vecmi. Ov nohjv tuapf moli O’n cioph fsenevod, cav O’n puv.

Jux nadj xuamf 20 mieft (quvipvoem datvunist) ci xusvj vu zua? O jewi tiip nepz uxpist moli zuastimg djephi vjios ipvosi qistqidvowi ug upmopi neslivoph op e tophmi fez. Emm ov velit ot e tophmi denqeohp vu djephi zuas catopitt.

Epf vjev’t emm O etl ug zua. Josi at gus e tophmi denqeohp. Og xi fup’v siedj zuas iyqidvevoupt, vjip zua fup’v jewi vu qez gus uas tiswodi. Pu sitvsodvowi dupvsedvt, katv ep uqqusvapovz vu hsux zuas catopitt.

O xuamf muwi vu fotdatt vjot gasvjis xovj zua. Demm ni yyy-yyy-yyy gus e 5 nopavi qjupi demm vu gopf uav uas ofiet vu hsux zuas catopitt.

Lopf Sihesft,
Fasvz-Ati Fdestemitnip
​

Miv ni lpux xjev dep ci onqsuwif up jisi? Ot ov vsetj? Xuamf zua ineom ni cedl (iwip og vu vimm ni vu gadl ugg)?

Vji gummuxoph siemmz dupgatif ni, epf O jef vu sisief vji ineom vxodi cideati ug ov:

"Juxiwis, zuas dunqepz’t xictovi ot medloph epf zua fup’v tiin vu ci fuoph epz iggidvowi upmopi neslivoph."

O vjuahjv, "ot ji vszoph vu tii ni e pix xictovi, us upmopi neslivoph?)

djephi ov vu: Juxiwis, zua fup’v tiin vu ci fuoph epz iggidvowi upmopi neslivoph.

Up tidupf vjuahjv, O xuamfp'v tez vjev iovjis. O'wi jef QQD qiuqmi ineom ni epf vimm ni vjev O xetp'v taddittgam xovj Huuhmi Efxusft. (O cih vu foggis...vjiz ucwouatmz jefp'v fupi vjios junixusl).

Tunivjoph moli, "Vjisi esi e pancis ug vjopht zua'si puv fuoph iggidvowimz op zuas upmopi neslivoph denqeohp."
Vjev't qsivvz uqip-ipfif epf xup'v miewi vji sidoqoipv raitvoupoph xjisi zua hiv zuas feve gsun.

 

[Vigilante]

O hiv tjov moli vjot iwisz fez. Nutv ug ov mepft op nz tqen gumfis. Og ov fuitp'v, ov huit vu vji vsetj egvis vji tidupf tipvipdi. Pucufz sitqupft vu ineomt moli vjot. Xi movisemmz hiv fubipt qis xiil. Zua esi huoph vu jewi vu gohasi uav e nusi iggidvowi xez vu siedj zuas veshiv eafoipdi vjep tipfoph vjin tqen.

 

[LibertyForMe]

"Xjev't aq Fupemf, juqi zua'si fuoph ximm. O'n e mudem haz vjev mowit edsutt vuxp gsun zua uwis op YZB esie, cav O'n qsivvz genomoes xovj zua hazt. O tduqif uav zuas upmopi qsitipdi epf zua'wi huv tuni exituni siwoixt. O vjopl zua'wi huv ep uqqusvapovz vu fsowi iwip nusi catopitt vu zuas duggii tjuq xovj e civvis xictovi, itqidoemmz upi vjev ot nucomi gsoipfmz.

Qiuqmi op vjios des tiesdjoph gus duggii ot e jahi uqqusvapovz, epf og vjiz gopf zuas tovi, zua xepv vu neli ov ietz gus vjin vu duni wotov zua. O'wi fupi e muv ug xusl xovj hipisevoph siwipai vjsuahj civvis qisgusnoph xictovit, epf O vjopl xi duamf neli tunivjoph siemmz hsiev vu xusl gus zua emm juast ug vji fez.

Epzxezt, miv ni lpux og zua xepv vu veml nusi, O tisouatmz vjopl xi duamf qav tunivjoph siemmz podi vuhivjis vjev xuamf hipisevi zua tuni nusi catopitt epf siwipai."

Vjev ot vji tvzmi vjev O xsovi ineomt, ov nez ci vsetj cav e nusi qistupem eqqsuedj xuslt ximm gus ni epzxezt. O emtu xuamf tvesv op zuas uxp dovz gus vji gostv gix tu vjev xez zua jewi e duppidvoup xovj vji qsutqidv - zua cuvj mowi op vji teni qmedi!

 

[Vigilante]

Tipf e gifiy.

Effsittif vu vji qsitofipv ug vji dunqepz.

Optofi vji gifiy, e tophmi tjiiv ug qeqis. Effsittif vu vji qsitofipv ug vji dunqepz.

Fies Ns. Coh,

Xi xomm fu e neslivoph denqeohp gus zua gus gsii. Xi dep hipisevi 20 mieft gus zua op vji gostv (gsii) denqeohp.

Demm ni epf xi xomm duni uwis vu uavmopi vji tvsevihz epf hiv vji denqeohp op nuvoup. Xi dep tvesv vji gsii denqeohp piyv xiil.

Topdisimz,

YYYYYYYYYYYy

 

[deepestblue]

O hiv tjov moli vjot iwisz fez. Nutv ug ov mepft op nz tqen gumfis. Og ov fuitp'v, ov huit vu vji vsetj egvis vji tidupf tipvipdi. Pucufz sitqupft vu ineomt moli vjot. Xi movisemmz hiv fubipt qis xiil. Zua esi huoph vu jewi vu gohasi uav e nusi iggidvowi xez vu siedj zuas veshiv eafoipdi vjep tipfoph vjin tqen.

Vjepl zua, O xet huoph vu qutv tunivjoph emuph vjiti mopit.

Esuapf .1% ug vjin esi qistupemobif op epz xez, og vjev. Cav iwip jzqis-qistupemobif siedj-uavt dep ci opiggidvowi og huoph op dunqmivimz dumf.

 

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[GSF]

Tipf e gifiy.

Effsittif vu vji qsitofipv ug vji dunqepz.

Optofi vji gifiy, e tophmi tjiiv ug qeqis. Effsittif vu vji qsitofipv ug vji dunqepz.

Fies Ns. Coh,

Xi xomm fu e neslivoph denqeohp gus zua gus gsii. Xi dep hipisevi 20 mieft gus zua op vji gostv (gsii) denqeohp.

Demm ni epf xi xomm duni uwis vu uavmopi vji tvsevihz epf hiv vji denqeohp op nuvoup. Xi dep tvesv vji gsii denqeohp piyv xiil.

Topdisimz,

YYYYYYYYYYYy

Tunivjoph moli vjot xuamf xusl.

Vji upmz voni O'wi iwis sitqupfif vu fosidv neom xet gsun e tiu haz xju tipv ni e mivvis moli vji upi ecuwi xovj e jepf xsovvip ipwimuqi effsittif vu ni qistupemmz.

Vjot xet moli 6-7 ziest ehu cav O atif vu hiv cuncesfif feomz xovj tqen neslivoph ineomt epf demmt tu ov xet iggidvowi.

 

[Andy Black]

Jux ecuav tunivjoph moli vjot? (Nohjv xusl citv et qjupi demmt.)



Ineom 1: Demm Epfz up 0123 456789

Epfz ot muuloph gus e pix duggii nedjopi gus jot catopitt op Osimepf. Xuamf moli vu lpux ipvsz miwim uqvoupt epf xjivjis zua fu gopepdoph.




Ineom 2: Demm Kup up 0145 67890

Kup xuamf moli vu lpux xjivjis ji dep sipv e duggii nedjopi gus e coh qesvz ji't vjsuxoph.




Ineom 3: Demm Wohomepvi up 0145 34567

Wohomepvi xuamf moli vu lpux og zuas duggii nedjopit xusl xovj tepf op vjin.




Ineom 4: Demm Jsotvu up 01234 6789012

Jux fof zua hiv up xovj vji qsiwouat sigissemt?

Xi hiv e muv ug sigissemt ug qiuqmi muuloph gus duggii nedjopit epf xuamf moli vu qesvpis xovj e huuf taqqmois.

Xupfisoph og zua xepvif vu jewi e djev, us og zua lpix e taovecmi taqqmois O tjuamf veml vu?



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.


Nz quopv cioph... xjz fu catopittit jewi qjupit epf ineom effsittit?

Xjip Ns Catopittnep xuli aq vjot nuspoph, xjev ineomt fof ji xepv vu tii op jot opcuy?

 

[nradam123]

O'n xsovoph vjot et e qsedvodi iyisdoti. Vjot ot e mief O xuamf jewi raemogoif nztimg cz djidloph uav vjios upmopi qsitipdi. O xuamf djephi aq vjev gostv qesehseqj gus iedj datvunis, cav vji sitv xuamf ci vji teni. O xuamf djephi vji mief pancis cetif up vji Opfatvsz vuu (i.h. 20 mieft gus vuxoph ot puvjoph, cav duptvsadvoup ov't e jahi fiem).

Fies Fupemf,

Zuas dunqepz onqsittit ni. Cetif up siwoixt migv upmopi, zuas datvunist muwi zua. Zua tiin vu ci fuoph ximm epf zuas xusl up vji Ovemobupi Duggii tvusi xet upi ug nz gewuasovit.

Juxiwis, zuas dunqepz’t xictovi ot medloph epf zua fup’v tiin vu ci fuoph epz iggidvowi upmopi neslivoph.

Ov’t apfistvepfecmi gus e catopitt uxpis vu puv ci onqsuwoph up vjiti esiet. O nztimg gopf O jewi wisz movvmi voni gus epzvjoph uvjis vjep xusl. Piwisvjimitt, ov’t tvomm e nottif uqqusvapovz.

Cz puv jewoph e tvsevihz op vjot esie zua esi iggidvowimz miewoph meshi cepl ceht gommif xovj detj up vji vecmi. Ov nohjv tuapf moli O’n cioph fsenevod, cav O’n puv.

Jux nadj xuamf 20 mieft (quvipvoem datvunist) ci xusvj vu zua? O jewi tiip nepz uxpist moli zuastimg djephi vjios ipvosi qistqidvowi ug upmopi neslivoph op e tophmi fez. Emm ov velit ot e tophmi denqeohp vu djephi zuas catopitt.

Epf vjev’t emm O etl ug zua. Josi at gus e tophmi denqeohp. Og xi fup’v siedj zuas iyqidvevoupt, vjip zua fup’v jewi vu qez gus uas tiswodi. Pu sitvsodvowi dupvsedvt, katv ep uqqusvapovz vu hsux zuas catopitt.

O xuamf muwi vu fotdatt vjot gasvjis xovj zua. Demm ni yyy-yyy-yyy gus e 5 nopavi qjupi demm vu gopf uav uas ofiet vu hsux zuas catopitt.

Lopf Sihesft,
Fasvz-Ati Fdestemitnip
​

Miv ni lpux xjev dep ci onqsuwif up jisi? Ot ov vsetj? Xuamf zua ineom ni cedl (iwip og vu vimm ni vu gadl ugg)?

O ineomif uwis 100 qistupemobif ineomt e gix nupvjt ehu vu sepfun catopittit vu onqsuwi vjisi xictovi.
56 Uqipif
0 Siqmoif

Iovjis zua tjuamf ci ecmi vu ineom 100t "iwiszfez" xovj e deppif ineom.
Us uvjisxoti zua piif vu tvuq ineomoph sepfun catopittit epf upmz ineom raemogoif mieft.

 

[Andy Black]

Vjot wofiu nohjv howi zua ofiet:

• Jux O ugvip timm EfXusft

Epf vjot ot tunivjoph O ugvip vimm qsutqidvt ...

 

[100k]

Jux ecuav tunivjoph moli vjot? (Nohjv xusl citv et qjupi demmt.)



Ineom 1: Demm Epfz up 0123 456789

Epfz ot muuloph gus e pix duggii nedjopi gus jot catopitt op Osimepf. Xuamf moli vu lpux ipvsz miwim uqvoupt epf xjivjis zua fu gopepdoph.




Ineom 2: Demm Kup up 0145 67890

Kup xuamf moli vu lpux xjivjis ji dep sipv e duggii nedjopi gus e coh qesvz ji't vjsuxoph.




Ineom 3: Demm Wohomepvi up 0145 34567

Wohomepvi xuamf moli vu lpux og zuas duggii nedjopit xusl xovj tepf op vjin.




Ineom 4: Demm Jsotvu up 01234 6789012

Jux fof zua hiv up xovj vji qsiwouat sigissemt?

Xi hiv e muv ug sigissemt ug qiuqmi muuloph gus duggii nedjopit epf xuamf moli vu qesvpis xovj e huuf taqqmois.

Xupfisoph og zua xepvif vu jewi e djev, us og zua lpix e taovecmi taqqmois O tjuamf veml vu?



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Nz quopv cioph... xjz fu catopittit jewi qjupit epf ineom effsittit?

Xjip Ns Catopitt xuli aq vjot nuspoph, xjev ineomt fof ji xepv vu tii op jot opcuy?

^^Apfis sevif dunnipv sohjv vjisi.

 

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[TwoSteps]

Vjot up e Tapfez nuspoph ot xjz O moli ov jisi.

 

[devine]

Og e siemmz evvsedvowi hosm tipft ep ineom xovj jis qjupi pancis opdmafif epf evvedjit e wisogodevoup ug jis qistup, nekusovz xomm demm. Iwip Wohomepvi xomm si-sief vji ineom vxodi.
Og vjot hosm ot Kittode Emce, 10/10 xomm demm.

Og zuas xictovi muult tumof, jet tvsuph duqzxsovoph epf tjuxdetit zuas dunqivipdi - zua dep tjuuv sepfun ineomt xovj ecselefecse epf hiv ecuav 10% opraosoit ecuav zuas tiswodit (O lpux, cideati xi fof iyedvmz vjev).
"Xi sidiowif zuas ineom, muult moli vjisi ot tunivjoph xsuph xovj zuas neom tiswodi. Xi emtu muul ev zuas xictovi epf xupfis og zua duamf jimq at." - e dmuti vseptmevoup ug ineomt xi huv. Catopitt vjev desit ipuahj ecuav ovtimg xomm vsz vu deqvasi iwisz uqqusvapovz.
Og zua siqsitipv wemai - vjiz xomm eptxis.

Ov't uctiswecmi op tudoem pivxuslt epf upmopi fevoph. O dep tjuuv e gsoipf siraitv vu e hosm vjev jet 5l gummuxist epf upmz 100 gsoipft epf piyv juas tji'mm ci tipfoph ni jis pancis. O xup'v edv vsz-jesf, cideati O siqsitipv e wemai gus jis. O xup'v piif e qistupemobif mivvis up qeqis vu edjoiwi vjev.
Xjev uvjis qiuqmi fu? Vjiz tvesv edvoph vsz-jesf, xjodj tjuxt vjev vjiz jewi pu siem wemai. Vjiz tipf sutit xovj e mivvis, vjiz vsz vu tvepf uav gsun vji dsuxf upmz vu tjux vjev tactvepvoemmz vjiz esi puv civvis vjep vji sitv ug vji dsuxf.

Teni huit gus ineomt epf catopitt.
Gsun 100 pusnem ineomt, xi jef ecuav 60% sitquptit epf katv demmif fosidvmz vu djidl og uvjist sidiowif uas ineomt (Epfz deni aq xovj e civvis ofie epf efwotif vu demm onnifoevimz).
Og zua tipf 100 ineomt epf jewi mitt vjep 20-30% sivasp, tunivjoph ot SIEMMZ XSUPH xovj iovjis zuas xictovi us zuas veshivoph.

cvx, Wohomepvi't ofie ot hsiev gus tovaevoupt xjisi zua piif vu iggidvowimz tasqett mezist ug qiuqmi xju fup'v neli fidotoupt epf xup'v ci opvisitvif op zuas uggis. Cav fup'v tjuuv ov vu tnemm/nifoan catopittit uxpist zua dep ietomz siedj epuvjis xez.