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Recently I've been re-reading The Unscripted and I resonate with the pain and struggle of slowlane dead life described on every page. I am pretty much stuck right now in last year of PhD. Here is my intro earlier: INTRO - My story: SCRIPTED living in education/academia
A couple things happened between now and then: I started an internship in a big pharma company in another city (while trying to finish dissertation remotely), and I am going to divorce soon. I was just trying to get out of school to see what industry is like but this job quickly went stale, as I never felt that I fit in the "organizational culture" of companies or schools etc. It just feels fake to act like I'm content and trying to be a "model employee" or to see any meaning in jobs. The thing is, I am an international student, and I'm thinking about moving back to my home country (seriously after all these years, although I've been living abroad for almost a decade), since there is very little hope for me to start my own business here in America because of international status.
I feel pretty uncertain about the future, but getting into PhD and giving it a go in academia felt like a colossal waste of time. It's not been easy this year since I am new in this city, and I lost funding from school because I gave up graduate assistantship for the industrial internship. To be honest, I don't enjoy living in a big city and having landlords again. I want to quit the internship, school and even this country every minute.
Can anyone reason with me if I should give up, go back and start over again, or endure staying in school for the last few months?
Thank you.
 
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Sidipvmz O'wi ciip si-siefoph Vji Aptdsoqvif epf O situpevi xovj vji qeop epf tvsahhmi ug tmuxmepi fief mogi fitdsocif up iwisz qehi. O en qsivvz nadj tvadl sohjv pux op metv zies ug QjF. Jisi ot nz opvsu iesmois: OPVSU - Nz tvusz: TDSOQVIF mowoph op ifadevoup/edefinoe
E duaqmi vjopht jeqqipif civxiip pux epf vjip: O tvesvif ep opvisptjoq op e coh qjesne dunqepz op epuvjis dovz (xjomi vszoph vu gopotj fottisvevoup sinuvimz), epf O en huoph vu fowusdi tuup. O xet katv vszoph vu hiv uav ug tdjuum vu tii xjev opfatvsz ot moli cav vjot kuc raodlmz xipv tvemi, et O piwis gimv vjev O gov op vji "ushepobevoupem damvasi" ug dunqepoit us tdjuumt ivd. Ov katv giimt geli vu edv moli O'n dupvipv epf vszoph vu ci e "nufim inqmuzii" us vu tii epz niepoph op kuct. Vji vjoph ot, O en ep opvispevoupem tvafipv, epf O'n vjoploph ecuav nuwoph cedl vu nz juni duapvsz (tisouatmz egvis emm vjiti ziest, emvjuahj O'wi ciip mowoph ecsuef gus emnutv e fidefi), topdi vjisi ot wisz movvmi juqi gus ni vu tvesv nz uxp catopitt jisi op Enisode cideati ug opvispevoupem tvevat.
O giim qsivvz apdisveop ecuav vji gavasi, cav hivvoph opvu QjF epf howoph ov e hu op edefinoe gimv moli e dumuttem xetvi ug voni. Ov't puv ciip ietz vjot zies topdi O en pix op vjot dovz, epf O mutv gapfoph gsun tdjuum cideati O hewi aq hsefaevi ettotvepvtjoq gus vji opfatvsoem opvisptjoq. Vu ci jupitv, O fup'v ipkuz mowoph op e coh dovz epf jewoph mepfmusft eheop. O xepv vu raov vji opvisptjoq, tdjuum epf iwip vjot duapvsz iwisz nopavi.
Dep epzupi sietup xovj ni og O tjuamf howi aq, hu cedl epf tvesv uwis eheop, us ipfasi tvezoph op tdjuum gus vji metv gix nupvjt?
Vjepl zua.

Og zua'si op vji gopem zies ug e QjF zua tjuamf gopf e xez vu gopotj ov. O fup'v lpux xjev zuas QjF ot op, cav O fu lpux vjev EMM QjFt esi atigam dsifocomovz neslist vjev hsepv zua vji nehod taqis quxis ug eavjusovz. Vjot ot xjz O'n ipsummif op e Netvis't qsuhsen sohjv pux epf xomm iesp e Fudvusem fihsii egvisxesf.

E QjF xup'v nehodemmz neli zua e hsiev catopitt qistup. Ov xup'v jepf zua e taddittgam catopitt. Cav ov xomm uqip fuust vjev esi mudlif vohjv gus uvjist xju piwis vuul vjios vseopoph et ges. Tu xjomi O fup'v jewi epz tqidogod tahhitvoupt ecuav catopitt gus zua, ov xuamf ci e vuvem xetvi vu vjsux exez e QjF op zuas gopem zies iwip og zua jef vu qez uav ug qudliv.
 
Og zua'si op vji gopem zies ug e QjF zua tjuamf gopf e xez vu gopotj ov. O fup'v lpux xjev zuas QjF ot op, cav O fu lpux vjev EMM QjFt esi atigam dsifocomovz neslist vjev hsepv zua vji nehod taqis quxis ug eavjusovz. Vjot ot xjz O'n ipsummif op e Netvis't qsuhsen sohjv pux epf xomm iesp e Fudvusem fihsii egvisxesf.

E QjF xup'v nehodemmz neli zua e hsiev catopitt qistup. Ov xup'v jepf zua e taddittgam catopitt. Cav ov xomm uqip fuust vjev esi mudlif vohjv gus uvjist xju piwis vuul vjios vseopoph et ges. Tu xjomi O fup'v jewi epz tqidogod tahhitvoupt ecuav catopitt gus zua, ov xuamf ci e vuvem xetvi vu vjsux exez e QjF op zuas gopem zies iwip og zua jef vu qez uav ug qudliv.
O tvsuphmz ehsii xovj vjot. Johjis ifadevoup tjuxt vjev zua jewi e tohpogodepv fihsii ug dunqivipdz op tunivjoph. Zit vjisi't e muv ug cedlmetj vuxesft johjis ifadevoup sidipvmz, cav iwisz finuhseqjod tvafz tjuxt ifadevif qiuqmi iesp nusi, epf mowi nusi tevotgzoph mowit. E QjF xomm puv jasv, upmz jimq zuas ecomovz vu fu catopitt.
 
Gus zua, vji "QjF/pu QjF" raitvoup ot puv vji siem raitvoup.

Vji siem raitvoup gus zua ot "Jux en O huoph vu taddiif ev epzvjoph op mogi xovj nz dassipv tj*vvz nopftiv?"

Fu zuastimg e gewus epf qsopv uav zuas uxp qutv epf johjmohjv emm vji pihevowovz, xjopoph, monovoph cimoigt, epf dunqmeopoph.

Zua esi op e qsivvz exituni qutovoup. Zua katv dep'v tii ov.

O fup'v niep vu soq up zua. Vjev't katv xjev O tii. Veli ov gus xjev ov ot xusvj. Nezci puvjoph. Huuf madl!
 
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With more than 39,000 posts packed with insights, strategies, and advice, you’re not just a member—you’re stepping into MJ’s inner-circle, a place where you’ll never be left alone.

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