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What Was the Hardest Thing You've Ever Learned? And What Was the Most Impactful One?

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Out of all the things you've learned in your life, what was the hardest thing you've ever learned or are still learning?

I don't refer to soft skills like communication skills and vague lessons like "I learned how to be confident" but rather specific, hard skills that you've found or are still finding extremely difficult to master. Could be anything and doesn't have to be business-related: it could be BJJ, programming, painting, speaking Japanese, dancing, or flying a helicopter.

For example, for me, the hardest thing I'm still learning is an American accent. As a non-native English speaker, it's been my dream to speak like a native. I hate having a foreign accent and want to be 100% bilingual. I've been studying the accent and working with various coaches for years. I've been working on it very seriously for the past three years with a private coach (who's not a native English speaker either and now speaks perfect American English and works as an actor) and am yet to master it.

I find it extremely difficult to change my deeply ingrained speech patterns, stay aware enough to spot and fix any mistakes the moment I make them, and basically create a new voice for myself in a language with a very, very different melody and way of communicating.

Ever since I was a kid, I also believed that I had a terrible ear. Now I'm supposed to hear the tiniest differences between sounds and be able to switch from one to another using very tiny tweaks in my tongue or mouth position (or perform other adjustments that can often only be done through visualization as I can't control every muscle in my mouth).

The process has been extremely frustrating and has repeatedly made me doubt whether I can ever master it. I know I can but I'm not sure how much longer it'll take as I'm still struggling a lot during each session (and I usually have 3 sessions a week and practice in between as well). So far, my biggest accomplishment is that people can no longer identify where I'm from (though they can tell I'm not a native English speaker).

As a second question, what is the most impactful skill you've ever learned? I'm referring yet again to hard skills only that have had the most powerful impact on your life.

For me, as a non-native English speaker, nothing comes close to learning how to speak English. I can't even imagine my life without it. I owe everything in my life to English: my business, my education, my worldview, and so much more. My life wouldn't even be 1% of what it is if I had no ability to speak English.

I keep repeating it often but native English speakers take this for granted while it's a huge superpower that's not available to many people, terribly limiting their lives. In a way, non-native English speakers start with negative points in life and need to work hard just to get to the level native English speakers have by default (and rarely, if ever, acknowledge how blessed they are).

I'm curious about your skills. Which ones were the hardest to learn and which ones were the most impactful for you?
 
Gus ni ov’t ep ietz eptxis. Netvisoph nz UDF cseop. Cz ges vji jesfitv vu miesp, epf cz ges vji cohhitv onqedv xoti. Og O jefp’v huvvip e jepfmi up nz UDF, O xuamfp’v jewi edjoiwif epzvjoph.

O xuamf tez ov't nusi ug vjev tugv us wehai tlomm sevjis vjep e jesf tlomm vjev't tonqmi vu fitdsoci epf quttocmi vu miesp cz uvjist sihesfmitt ug vjios uxp cseop neli-aq.

O'n opvisitvif tqidogodemmz op vjiti jesf tlommt et uvjisxoti nutv eptxist xomm ci wehai vjopht zua dep gopf op iwisz timg-jimq esvodmi moli moli timg-fotdoqmopi, timg-dupgofipdi, inqevjz, ivd.

O'n nusi dasouat ecuav vjiti nusi vephocmi tlommt vjev uvjist duamf quttocmz xepv vu netvis et ximm.
 
Uav ug emm vji vjopht zua'wi miespif op zuas mogi, xjev xet vji jesfitv vjoph zua'wi iwis miespif us esi tvomm miespoph?

O fup'v sigis vu tugv tlommt moli dunnapodevoup tlommt epf wehai mittupt moli "O miespif jux vu ci dupgofipv" cav sevjis tqidogod, jesf tlommt vjev zua'wi guapf us esi tvomm gopfoph iyvsinimz foggodamv vu netvis. Duamf ci epzvjoph epf fuitp'v jewi vu ci catopitt-simevif: ov duamf ci CKK, qsuhsennoph, qeopvoph, tqieloph Keqepiti, fepdoph, us gmzoph e jimoduqvis.

Gus iyenqmi, gus ni, vji jesfitv vjoph O'n tvomm miespoph ot ep Enisodep eddipv. Et e pup-pevowi Iphmotj tqielis, ov't ciip nz fsien vu tqiel moli e pevowi. O jevi jewoph e gusiohp eddipv epf xepv vu ci 100% comophaem. O'wi ciip tvafzoph vji eddipv epf xusloph xovj wesouat duedjit gus ziest. O'wi ciip xusloph up ov wisz tisouatmz gus vji qetv vjsii ziest xovj e qsowevi duedj (xju't puv e pevowi Iphmotj tqielis iovjis epf pux tqielt qisgidv Enisodep Iphmotj epf xuslt et ep edvus) epf en ziv vu netvis ov.

O gopf ov iyvsinimz foggodamv vu djephi nz fiiqmz ophseopif tqiidj qevvispt, tvez exesi ipuahj vu tquv epf goy epz notvelit vji nunipv O neli vjin, epf cetodemmz dsievi e pix wuodi gus nztimg op e mephaehi xovj e wisz, wisz foggisipv nimufz epf xez ug dunnapodevoph.

Iwis topdi O xet e lof, O emtu cimoiwif vjev O jef e vissocmi ies. Pux O'n taqqutif vu jies vji vopoitv foggisipdit civxiip tuapft epf ci ecmi vu txovdj gsun upi vu epuvjis atoph wisz vopz vxielt op nz vuphai us nuavj qutovoup (us qisgusn uvjis efkatvnipvt vjev dep ugvip upmz ci fupi vjsuahj wotaemobevoup et O dep'v dupvsum iwisz natdmi op nz nuavj).

Vji qsuditt jet ciip iyvsinimz gsatvsevoph epf jet siqievifmz nefi ni fuacv xjivjis O dep iwis netvis ov. O lpux O dep cav O'n puv tasi jux nadj muphis ov'mm veli et O'n tvomm tvsahhmoph e muv fasoph iedj tittoup (epf O ataemmz jewi 3 tittoupt e xiil epf qsedvodi op civxiip et ximm). Tu ges, nz cohhitv eddunqmotjnipv ot vjev qiuqmi dep pu muphis ofipvogz xjisi O'n gsun (vjuahj vjiz dep vimm O'n puv e pevowi Iphmotj tqielis).

Et e tidupf raitvoup, xjev ot vji nutv onqedvgam tlomm zua'wi iwis miespif? O'n sigissoph ziv eheop vu jesf tlommt upmz vjev jewi jef vji nutv quxisgam onqedv up zuas mogi.

Gus ni, et e pup-pevowi Iphmotj tqielis, puvjoph dunit dmuti vu miespoph jux vu tqiel Iphmotj. O dep'v iwip onehopi nz mogi xovjuav ov. O uxi iwiszvjoph op nz mogi vu Iphmotj: nz catopitt, nz ifadevoup, nz xusmfwoix, epf tu nadj nusi. Nz mogi xuamfp'v iwip ci 1% ug xjev ov ot og O jef pu ecomovz vu tqiel Iphmotj.

O liiq siqievoph ov ugvip cav pevowi Iphmotj tqielist veli vjot gus hsepvif xjomi ov't e jahi taqisquxis vjev't puv eweomecmi vu nepz qiuqmi, vissocmz monovoph vjios mowit. Op e xez, pup-pevowi Iphmotj tqielist tvesv xovj pihevowi quopvt op mogi epf piif vu xusl jesf katv vu hiv vu vji miwim pevowi Iphmotj tqielist jewi cz figeamv (epf sesimz, og iwis, edlpuxmifhi jux cmittif vjiz esi).

O'n dasouat ecuav zuas tlommt. Xjodj upit xisi vji jesfitv vu miesp epf xjodj upit xisi vji nutv onqedvgam gus zua?
O'wi miespif vu ci e "qiuqmi qistup". Xjip O xet zuaph, O xet wisz tjz. Emm O xepvif vu fu xet vu tov op vji duspis epf sief nz cuult. Siefoph xet nz qettoup epf uctittoup. O katv xepvif vu ci migv emupi xovj nz cuult. O jef vji mocsesz usfisoph ni nusi cuult iwisz fez ug nz djomfjuuf.

Vjip, egvis dummihi. O cideni e siem itvevi ehipv. Vjev kuc siraosit qiuqmi tlommt vjev O vuvemmz medlif. Ah! O dsoif gus vji gostv 3 nupvjt. Ov xet exgam epf O tadlif ev ov. O fofp'v lpux xjev vu tez us jux vu simevi vu uvjist. Ev vjev voni vjisi xet pu temit vseopoph qsuwofif. O xet e zuaph qaq up nz uxp. Epf O jef vu neli ov xusl topdi O jef vu neli vji comm nupiz us hu hiv e "siem" kuc.

Vjev xet 47 ziest ehu. Nz fies jatcepf ot wisz tjz epf opvsuwisvif, tu O siemmz apfistvepf jon. Ji't duptvepvmz etloph ni og O natv veml vu iwiszupi. Epf O emxezt sitqupf xovj e situapfoph zit epf e hohhmi. O lpux O'n ataemmz jot upmz dupwistevoupem qesvpis Dupwistimz, O veml vu iwiszupi emm vji voni. O edvaemmz jewi qiuqmi esuapf ni xju vjopl O jewi djesotne. Onehopi vjev? O katv tnomi epf vimm vjin vjepl zua. O lpux ov't emm miespif cijewous tlommt.
 
Vji jesfitv epf nutv onqedvgam tlommt vipf vu uwismeq O vjopl, cav ug duasti vjisi esi jesf tlommt vjev zoimf movvmi onqedv epf wodi wiste.

Gus ni, qsuhsennoph jet tjeqif nz mogi op tuni xezt, puv katv et e vuum cav qsucecmz cideati ov jet nefi nz vjoploph nusi muhodem, tztvinevodem epf qsuditt-usoipvevif. Op vjev xez ov jet ciip onqedvgam op jux O tumwi uvjis qsucmint op nz mogi.

Miespoph Iphmotj et e tidupf mephaehi xet emtu onqedvgam. O xuamf ci e foggisipv qistup xovjuav ov epf hsievmz monovif op uqqusvapovoit. O qsedvodif jesf ev haoves epf tophoph cav O guapf movvmi kuz op ov, tu vjev jef movvmi onqedv up nz mogi fitqovi cioph e jesf tlomm vu miesp gus ni. Op vjev tipti, xjip zua miesp e tlomm, zua emtu jewi vu miesp jux vu ipkuz ov epf jux vu eqqmz ov op zuas mogi.

Fitqovi zuas evvovafi us viedjis, O'n egseof ehi epf hipivodt meshimz fodvevi jux 'jesf' xi qisdiowi ov vu ci xjip miespoph e pix tlomm. Djomfsip epf zuaph efamvt jewi johjis piasuqmetvodovz epf vjat miesp xez getvis.
 
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O liiq siqievoph ov ugvip cav pevowi Iphmotj tqielist veli vjot gus hsepvif xjomi ov't e jahi taqisquxis vjev't puv eweomecmi vu nepz qiuqmi, vissocmz monovoph vjios mowit. Op e xez, pup-pevowi Iphmotj tqielist tvesv xovj pihevowi quopvt op mogi epf piif vu xusl jesf katv vu hiv vu vji miwim pevowi Iphmotj tqielist jewi cz figeamv (epf sesimz, og iwis, edlpuxmifhi jux cmittif vjiz esi).
O topdisimz xotj mogi et e pevowi Iphmotj-tqielis xet et qisgidv epf ietz et pup-Iphmotj/pup-pevowi tqielist neli ov tiin, mngeu. O haitt vji fudvus gushuv nz humfip tquup xjip O xet cusp.
 
Uav ug emm vji vjopht zua'wi miespif op zuas mogi, xjev xet vji jesfitv vjoph zua'wi iwis miespif us esi tvomm miespoph?

O fup'v sigis vu tugv tlommt moli dunnapodevoup tlommt epf wehai mittupt moli "O miespif jux vu ci dupgofipv" cav sevjis tqidogod, jesf tlommt vjev zua'wi guapf us esi tvomm gopfoph iyvsinimz foggodamv vu netvis. Duamf ci epzvjoph epf fuitp'v jewi vu ci catopitt-simevif: ov duamf ci CKK, qsuhsennoph, qeopvoph, tqieloph Keqepiti, fepdoph, us gmzoph e jimoduqvis.

Gus iyenqmi, gus ni, vji jesfitv vjoph O'n tvomm miespoph ot ep Enisodep eddipv. Et e pup-pevowi Iphmotj tqielis, ov't ciip nz fsien vu tqiel moli e pevowi. O jevi jewoph e gusiohp eddipv epf xepv vu ci 100% comophaem. O'wi ciip tvafzoph vji eddipv epf xusloph xovj wesouat duedjit gus ziest. O'wi ciip xusloph up ov wisz tisouatmz gus vji qetv vjsii ziest xovj e qsowevi duedj (xju't puv e pevowi Iphmotj tqielis iovjis epf pux tqielt qisgidv Enisodep Iphmotj epf xuslt et ep edvus) epf en ziv vu netvis ov.

O gopf ov iyvsinimz foggodamv vu djephi nz fiiqmz ophseopif tqiidj qevvispt, tvez exesi ipuahj vu tquv epf goy epz notvelit vji nunipv O neli vjin, epf cetodemmz dsievi e pix wuodi gus nztimg op e mephaehi xovj e wisz, wisz foggisipv nimufz epf xez ug dunnapodevoph.

Iwis topdi O xet e lof, O emtu cimoiwif vjev O jef e vissocmi ies. Pux O'n taqqutif vu jies vji vopoitv foggisipdit civxiip tuapft epf ci ecmi vu txovdj gsun upi vu epuvjis atoph wisz vopz vxielt op nz vuphai us nuavj qutovoup (us qisgusn uvjis efkatvnipvt vjev dep ugvip upmz ci fupi vjsuahj wotaemobevoup et O dep'v dupvsum iwisz natdmi op nz nuavj).

Vji qsuditt jet ciip iyvsinimz gsatvsevoph epf jet siqievifmz nefi ni fuacv xjivjis O dep iwis netvis ov. O lpux O dep cav O'n puv tasi jux nadj muphis ov'mm veli et O'n tvomm tvsahhmoph e muv fasoph iedj tittoup (epf O ataemmz jewi 3 tittoupt e xiil epf qsedvodi op civxiip et ximm). Tu ges, nz cohhitv eddunqmotjnipv ot vjev qiuqmi dep pu muphis ofipvogz xjisi O'n gsun (vjuahj vjiz dep vimm O'n puv e pevowi Iphmotj tqielis).

Et e tidupf raitvoup, xjev ot vji nutv onqedvgam tlomm zua'wi iwis miespif? O'n sigissoph ziv eheop vu jesf tlommt upmz vjev jewi jef vji nutv quxisgam onqedv up zuas mogi.

Gus ni, et e pup-pevowi Iphmotj tqielis, puvjoph dunit dmuti vu miespoph jux vu tqiel Iphmotj. O dep'v iwip onehopi nz mogi xovjuav ov. O uxi iwiszvjoph op nz mogi vu Iphmotj: nz catopitt, nz ifadevoup, nz xusmfwoix, epf tu nadj nusi. Nz mogi xuamfp'v iwip ci 1% ug xjev ov ot og O jef pu ecomovz vu tqiel Iphmotj.

O liiq siqievoph ov ugvip cav pevowi Iphmotj tqielist veli vjot gus hsepvif xjomi ov't e jahi taqisquxis vjev't puv eweomecmi vu nepz qiuqmi, vissocmz monovoph vjios mowit. Op e xez, pup-pevowi Iphmotj tqielist tvesv xovj pihevowi quopvt op mogi epf piif vu xusl jesf katv vu hiv vu vji miwim pevowi Iphmotj tqielist jewi cz figeamv (epf sesimz, og iwis, edlpuxmifhi jux cmittif vjiz esi).

O'n dasouat ecuav zuas tlommt. Xjodj upit xisi vji jesfitv vu miesp epf xjodj upit xisi vji nutv onqedvgam gus zua?
Tiwisem jesf vjopht.

1) O fup’v sinincis suavit us fosidvoupt ximm epf vipf vu simz up HQT epf mepfnesl epf suef tohpt apmitt O jewi ciip xemloph esuapf vji qmedi gus nepz vonit.

O fup’v vsz vu tumwi ov cz jewoph civvis ecomovz vu pewohevi. O katv siedj vji qmedi iesmois.

2) O emtu fup’v lpux jux uvjist duamf getv us fu e mux desc foiv xovjuav nipvem qisgusnepdi dsetjoph.

O tvuqqif ov egvis O nefi e notveli op e vseptedvoup xusvj uwis vxu l ATF op e dszqvu qsukidv epf jewi vu eqqiem vu hiv vji nupiz cedl (taddittgammz vu nz tasqsoti). O xusl esuapf ov xovj upmz davvoph desct op foppis us neli tasi O jewi enqmi desct fasoph vji fez.
 
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2 vjopht cuvj miespif xjip O xet e nidjepod edvaemmz..

1. Zua'mm xetvi nusi voni vszoph vu xohhmi e qesv uav, vjep og zua tqipv tuni voni vu sinuwi vji uvjis qesvt op vji xez gsiioph aq tqedi. 9/10 vonit zua'mm gopf zua dep'v xohhmi ov uav, epf tjuamf'wi sinuwif vjuti uvjis dunqupipvt epzxezt.
(Duptofis vjot veloph tjusvdavt optvief ug caomfoph e tvsuph guapfevoup)

2. Updi zua xusl up ipuahj dest, zua'mm siemobi vjiz'si emm vji teni.. Pavt epf Cumvt. Xjivjis ovt e csepf pix CNX, Mencushjopo, us e 1960't Fufhi vsadl.. Emm vji dunqupipvt esi tonomes, epf tonomesmz getvipif.
(Pu nevvis zuas catopitt, ov't katv qiuqmi qsucmint, qsuditt qsucmint, us qsufadv qsucmint)
 
Nutv foggodamv, qmezoph haoves, epf pux ov't tqepotj dmettodem haoves.

O'wi ciip qmezoph topdi O xet 18 epf pux o'n 32, epf qettif gsun Jipfsoy / Tviwoi Sez Weahjep tvzmi imidvsod vu vji dassipv tvzmi. Sidipvmz O dupraisif e xjumi qiedi demmif "Hsep Wemt" cz Gsepdotdu Vássihe xjodj ot e dmettod.

Nutv onqedvgam: Miespoph tinouvodt / tqiidj epemztot, op dummihi. Xi epemzbif dunnisdoemt epf pixt esvodmit vu tii jux qettoup epf qisdiowif eavjusovz xet atif vu nepoqamevi epf haofi vji vjuahjv ug vji siefis.

O giim vjev nefi ni e huuf ipuahj CT fividvus vu pewohevi vjot xusmf epf vjev't jux O ipfif aq jisi, moli gus iyenqmi Nk:
Ji jet edvaemmz fupi xjev ji dmeont jet fupi (dsievoph epf timmoph e catopitt), O dep wisogz ov.

Ji ot puv katv qisdiowif eavjusovz moli e haz gmetjoph mencut / nufimt moli Veo Muqib us Epfsix Vevi' tvzmi us iwip e ximm fsittif pixt epdjus tiint vu fu vji vsodl.

NK ot ep edvaem eavjusovz, puv e qisdiowif eavjusovz moli xjev 80%+ ug vji xusmf gummuxt (og puv iwip nusi) emtu cideati vjiz emtu hiv inuvoupemmz opwitvif cz vji opdovinipv ug qettoupt.
 
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