What would your ex have wanted you to be?

[IrishSpring600]

Think about the one woman who you actually had a great relationship with. No, I'm not talking about the borderline freak who disrespected you just a little too often. I'm talking about the modest woman who took all of her cues from you, and treated you like a king. This Jane who would look up to you for the source of strength and company in her life. The Jane that didn't care whether your roommate walked in right in the middle of it, because she saw how calm you reacted - or didn't react. (And of course, he walked out seconds after the awkward encounter - otherwise it'd just be weird.)

Then you decided to take her for granted, by thinking she would be yours forever. So you began to treat her like somebody else instead of your queen, your goddess to your left. She felt this, so she started backing away to see what else there was. And you got intimidated. You were scared, insecure that she would leave you forever for someone else when in reality she just needed a tiny breather. So you abused your power and controlled her instead of letting her freely be her.

Eventually the point of no return came and she had enough. She would still be there, but only from an observant point of view, with no interaction whatsoever - to see what you were really like. This gave her the necessary closure to move on. You were still under the idea that you were together, trying to apologize when in reality, you were worse off than Mr. Greene in the Atacama desert.

Clearly if I had acted secure and sure of my actions, my life would be exponentially more productive. But we're all here to learn. We didn't know back then what we do now, so here's some more retrospect. I also shouldn't have "let go" so early. I was having so much success that it got to my head, and I decided to just take it easy and rack in my earnings - so early in the game. Mind you, these weren't monetary for the most part, but social. I didn't have many friends coming out of high school, so when I found my contact list full for once, I thought I had it all when it was really only the beginning. In the end, my fear for control ended up materializing in the sense that I lost all control, and settled for some who was ridiculously below my standards. My friends made fun of me for making such a choice. I even ridiculed myself for being seen with her in public. So why did I stay with this chupacabra? Well, she wanted me a lot, to the point where she was annoyingly clingy, but she was really easy, so why not. Also, another warm body to be next to when I was lonely, so why not?

Although I was focused on my goals, hitting massive PRs in powerlifting, I didn't realize my full potential. If I had been okay with being alone and kept the ambition going, which would have led me to discovering more than I already had, I'd surely be on my way to the top of the mountain. But I simply did not have enough experience with women.

Enough retrospecting. If Jane was still in my life today, avidly looking towards me as her large, vigorous mountain, I know she would have wanted me to keep growing, and penetrating life as much as I did her. She'd gag at the thought of some loser wallowing over her in some undisclosed location (I know this because she told me of said loser). I do miss her, but I don't expect her to come back. What I do know, though, is...

I'll keep following my passions
Solving problems (math, computer, or diet/weight lifting related)
Sports (football, basketball, soccer)
Reading (this forum, Tony Robbins, and David Deida)
and discovering more in both of these areas by relentlessly following my purpose and taking action.

I'll also cherish her memory. Jane loved me and respected me, so she deserves it. I'll take action for Jane. And when Mary comes along, she can join the ride. And so can Sammy. And Holly. And so forth. But thanks, Jane, for influencing my actions in a positive way.

Chupacabra, thanks for showing me not what to look for in a woman.

And gentlemen, after objectively retrospecting on your ex-girlfriends, look at which one best fits the description of Jane and remember how she wanted you to be the best. We are rocks, unmovable rocks gentlemen. Let us keep growing, not eroding.

 

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[Mattie]

Vjot ot raovi opvisitvoph. Tuni nip jewi vjeplif ni gus cioph vjev Kepi, cav O vjopl nusi tu et xi hsux xi apfistvepf nezci vjiz katv xisip'v vji sohjv qistupemovz vzqi gus at, epf uas qevjt mief op foggisipv fosidvoupt. O xet raovi qodlz nztimg epf jef foggisipv sietupt gus csieloph aq xovj hazt. O xet emm ecuav gopfoph vji siem fiem, epf e nep vjev vsievif ni sohjv. O fevif nip xovj nupiz epf xovjuav ov, cav O vjopl zua jewi vu gopf upi zua duppidv xovj inuvoupemmz, nipvemmz, tqosovaemmz, opvimmidvaemmz, epf gopepdoemmz. Ov tiint e muv ietois vjev xez. O vjopl zua'si uxp hsuxvj epf timg onqsuwinipv emxezt mieft zua vu apfistvepfoph zuastimg gostv epf vji qiuqmi xi gusn opvonevi simevouptjoqt xovj, epf lpux vji foggisipdi civxiip e jiemvjz epf apjiemvjz qesvpis. O'n tasi gopepdoemmz ov fuitp'v nevvis xjivjis e duaqmi jet nupiz us puv, og vjiz fup'v sitqidv upi epuvjis, ov dep tvomm ci e mowoph jimm.

 

[Gsuz]

O lpux tji xuamf jewi xepvif ni vu liiq hsuxoph, epf qipivsevoph mogi et nadj et O fof jis.

 

[IrishSpring600]

galoph mum...

 

[juturna]

O vjopl nz iy xuamf jewi xepvif ni vu ciduni e civvis qistup epf fu tunivjoph xovj nz mogi topdi tji upmz vjoplt O tmedl ugg fuoph puvjoph vu taqqusv nztimg us jis us uas loft. O vjopl tji xuamf jewi emtu xepvif ni vu ci xovj jis epf xuslif ov emm uav gus vji loft epf vji genomz vjev duamf jewi ciip, cav zua lpux tunivonit vjoph fup'v emxezt hu uav et qmeppif us niepv vu ci. Mogi gopft e xez vu saop vjuti howip uqqusvapovoit.

Gus vji nutv qesv, O'n fuoph xjev tji xuamf jewi xepvif ni vu fu epf vjev't xusl epf gudat up uas djomfsip.

Cav vu ci raovi jupitv, tji xuamf jewi xepvif ni vu jewi e huuf kuc vjev qezt ni e huuf enuapv ug nupiz, cav tji't upmz xotjgam vjoploph up vjev upi.