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I used to lack confidence.
I remember not too many years ago I worked with a girl who I found very attractive. Beautiful, intelligence, pleasant in her demeanor; she was exactly the type of girl I wanted to ask out on a date.
But I never did.
Logically I knew I should at least try, and ask her out, but some feeling inside of me was stopping me from even trying. It didn’t make sense.
The reason for this is because of my self-image.
“I’m not worthy of a girl like that.” Was what it turned out to be.
We act congruent with who we identify ourselves as.
Whether I would have gotten rejected or not, is beside the point.
The point here is that I didn’t even try.
Creating a Rapid Identity-Level Shift
After teaching myself a lot of powerful technique in psychotherapy, I was able to release that negative self-image of myself and replace it with a positive sense of identity.
I am worthy.
Now, with the positive self-image, I don’t hesitate to go up to girls that I find attractive, and ask to get to know them.
When they say no, or ignore me, I no longer feel defeated or worthless. I kind of feel bad for them, because they missed out on getting to know a great guy.
Yes, my confidence now borderlines cockiness.
Up until this now, you learned about controlling your environment and the people you surround yourself with, you know what actions you need to take, you know what skills you need to learn (code academy, digital marketers, etc.), you believe that you are capable of growing this business.
But at the top of the pyramid is your sense of identity.
You act congruent with who you identify yourself as.
While it’s important to control all levels of the pyramid, when I work with making a change in my life, the thing I go for first is creating that rapid identity-level shift using the tools and techniques I learned over the years.
In personal development, they break it down into three steps:
1. Being
2. Doing
3. Having
For the purpose of this chapter, I’ll create two conflicting identities;
1. I am an employee and I want to be an entrepreneur.
2. I am an entrepreneur and I am having success.
When I was building my first business, I always identified myself as an employee who was struggling to be an entrepreneur. I wasn’t making sales, I didn’t know what to do, and quite simply – I was struggling.
I told myself that once I have those things (the money, the cars, the big house, the large customer base), then I could finally be an entrepreneur.
But that self-image that I created for myself was the very thing holding me back from taking the actions I needed to take in order to be successful (just like the story with the girl).
I wasn't a successful entrepreneur, so I might as not even email that influencer to see if they should promote my brand to their audience.
What if, instead of waiting to have all those things before having that positive sense of identity, you identify yourself as that successful entrepreneur from the very beginning.
Because when you do that, you will act congruently with who you identify yourself as.
“But I’m not that person yet because I don’t have the things.”
The analogy I will use to allow all of this to sink in is this..
It's like going on vacation.
The moment you can identify yourself as being a person who is going on vacation is not the moment you are on the beach.
The moment you are going on vacation is the moment you choose to go on vacation, when you buy that very first plane ticket. Because from the very beginning, when you are buying that plane ticket, you are going on vacation.
You are simply in the early stages of having it.
Going forward:
Instead of placing that sense of identity in the future of being that successful entrepreneur.
You are already that successful entrepreneur today, you are simply in the early stages of having it.
Just last night, with the team in my company, we created a vision of where we want our company to be, and now we are being that company from the very start.
I remember not too many years ago I worked with a girl who I found very attractive. Beautiful, intelligence, pleasant in her demeanor; she was exactly the type of girl I wanted to ask out on a date.
But I never did.
Logically I knew I should at least try, and ask her out, but some feeling inside of me was stopping me from even trying. It didn’t make sense.
The reason for this is because of my self-image.
“I’m not worthy of a girl like that.” Was what it turned out to be.
We act congruent with who we identify ourselves as.
Whether I would have gotten rejected or not, is beside the point.
The point here is that I didn’t even try.
Creating a Rapid Identity-Level Shift
After teaching myself a lot of powerful technique in psychotherapy, I was able to release that negative self-image of myself and replace it with a positive sense of identity.
I am worthy.
Now, with the positive self-image, I don’t hesitate to go up to girls that I find attractive, and ask to get to know them.
When they say no, or ignore me, I no longer feel defeated or worthless. I kind of feel bad for them, because they missed out on getting to know a great guy.
Yes, my confidence now borderlines cockiness.
Up until this now, you learned about controlling your environment and the people you surround yourself with, you know what actions you need to take, you know what skills you need to learn (code academy, digital marketers, etc.), you believe that you are capable of growing this business.
But at the top of the pyramid is your sense of identity.
You act congruent with who you identify yourself as.
While it’s important to control all levels of the pyramid, when I work with making a change in my life, the thing I go for first is creating that rapid identity-level shift using the tools and techniques I learned over the years.
In personal development, they break it down into three steps:
1. Being
2. Doing
3. Having
For the purpose of this chapter, I’ll create two conflicting identities;
1. I am an employee and I want to be an entrepreneur.
2. I am an entrepreneur and I am having success.
When I was building my first business, I always identified myself as an employee who was struggling to be an entrepreneur. I wasn’t making sales, I didn’t know what to do, and quite simply – I was struggling.
I told myself that once I have those things (the money, the cars, the big house, the large customer base), then I could finally be an entrepreneur.
But that self-image that I created for myself was the very thing holding me back from taking the actions I needed to take in order to be successful (just like the story with the girl).
I wasn't a successful entrepreneur, so I might as not even email that influencer to see if they should promote my brand to their audience.
What if, instead of waiting to have all those things before having that positive sense of identity, you identify yourself as that successful entrepreneur from the very beginning.
Because when you do that, you will act congruently with who you identify yourself as.
“But I’m not that person yet because I don’t have the things.”
The analogy I will use to allow all of this to sink in is this..
It's like going on vacation.
The moment you can identify yourself as being a person who is going on vacation is not the moment you are on the beach.
The moment you are going on vacation is the moment you choose to go on vacation, when you buy that very first plane ticket. Because from the very beginning, when you are buying that plane ticket, you are going on vacation.
You are simply in the early stages of having it.
Going forward:
Instead of placing that sense of identity in the future of being that successful entrepreneur.
You are already that successful entrepreneur today, you are simply in the early stages of having it.
Just last night, with the team in my company, we created a vision of where we want our company to be, and now we are being that company from the very start.
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