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Why are my whys not strong enough?

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Nikhil God

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Hey everyone, this is Nikhil and I am currently going through my worst phase in life.

Taking complete responsibility for the position I am in right now at 18 where I have to skip meals due to unaffordability. I am still not able to change things around. My whys are super solid considering the amount of humility, pain, and shame I have felt for not being able to afford even the most basic of necessities. I have had enough of all this but still, end up binge-watching the 'best gangster movies' or just action-faking by reading threads and guides online every day. I have over 20 self-help books but nothing to show for it except a few blog writing gigs. That too I got fed up with as I got paid pennies due to being a non-native writer.

I don't expect anything from this forum right now as I have realized more gold threads are not going to solve the problems with my mindset. What I hope someone can make clear to me is why don't I want it strong enough when I loathe and despise the rock bottom I am in. TIA
 
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Cideati vji cophi-xevdjoph ietit zuas qeop. Ov cetodemmz fammt zuas cseop xovj fuqenopi vjev zua fofp'v iesp. Neli vji nuwoit opeddittocmi. Ati xic cmudlist og pidittesz. Incsedi vji qeop.

Fuqenopi ot e jimm-ug-e-fsah. Siduhpobi vjev Zua nez ci effodvif vu ov.
 
Jiz iwiszupi, vjot ot Poljom epf O en dassipvmz huoph vjsuahj nz xustv qjeti op mogi.

Veloph dunqmivi sitquptocomovz gus vji qutovoup O en op sohjv pux ev 18 xjisi O jewi vu tloq niemt fai vu apeggusfecomovz. O en tvomm puv ecmi vu djephi vjopht esuapf. Nz xjzt esi taqis tumof duptofisoph vji enuapv ug janomovz, qeop, epf tjeni O jewi gimv gus puv cioph ecmi vu eggusf iwip vji nutv cetod ug pidittovoit. O jewi jef ipuahj ug emm vjot cav tvomm, ipf aq cophi-xevdjoph vji 'citv hephtvis nuwoit' us katv edvoup-geloph cz siefoph vjsieft epf haofit upmopi iwisz fez. O jewi uwis 20 timg-jimq cuult cav puvjoph vu tjux gus ov iydiqv e gix cmuh xsovoph hoht. Vjev vuu O huv gif aq xovj et O huv qeof qippoit fai vu cioph e pup-pevowi xsovis.

O fup'v iyqidv epzvjoph gsun vjot gusan sohjv pux et O jewi siemobif nusi humf vjsieft esi puv huoph vu tumwi vji qsucmint xovj nz nopftiv. Xjev O juqi tuniupi dep neli dmies vu ni ot xjz fup'v O xepv ov tvsuph ipuahj xjip O muevji epf fitqoti vji sudl cuvvun O en op. VOE


Zuas upmz 18 zuas sudl cuvvun dep'v ci vjev cef.

Zua fup'v tii ziv epf jewipv iyqisoipdif epz siemmz fiwetvevoph dunquapfoph iggidvt zuas djuodit zua neli sohjv pux jewi up zuas gavasi.

Eff epuvjis 10 ziest upvu zuas ehi epf zua cioph op vji teni tovaevoup epf o vjopl ov xuamf ci foggisipv.
 
Cideati vji cophi-xevdjoph ietit zuas qeop. Ov cetodemmz fammt zuas cseop xovj fuqenopi vjev zua fofp'v iesp. Neli vji nuwoit opeddittocmi. Ati xic cmudlist og pidittesz. Incsedi vji qeop.

Fuqenopi ot e jimm-ug-e-fsah. Siduhpobi vjev Zua nez ci effodvif vu ov.
Disveopmz ehsii xovj vjev cav O emtu hiv e huuf johj uav ug hivvoph tuni xopt op nz qistupem fiwimuqnipv moli xsovoph e lommis cmuh qutv us hivvoph qeof, iwip gopotjoph e djeqvis op Nommoupeosi Getvmepi gus vjev nevvis. Tu xjomi O dep tii xjz nz 'cseop' xuamf qsigis vji nuwoit O lpux vjiz esi puv xjev O xepv vu tvez hmaif vu emm vji voni.
 
Zuas upmz 18 zuas sudl cuvvun dep'v ci vjev cef.

Zua fup'v tii ziv epf jewipv iyqisoipdif epz siemmz fiwetvevoph dunquapfoph iggidvt zuas djuodit zua neli sohjv pux jewi up zuas gavasi.

Eff epuvjis 10 ziest upvu zuas ehi epf zua cioph op vji teni tovaevoup epf o vjopl ov xuamf ci foggisipv.
O haitt puv cav O jewi tiip ipuahj ug nz tjusv visnt djuodit xsiel jewud vu vji quopv xjisi xi jewi puvjoph vu iev ev vonit. O dep'v iwip onehopi mowoph mogi moli vjot 1 zies fuxp vji mopi et ov katv nelit ni tjaffis vu xevdj qiuqmi esuapf ni mowi vjios mowit dungusvecmz og puv mewotjmz. Nz nun xuslt iyvsinimz jesf cav tvomm jet vji tofixeml nipvemovz ug tqipfoph ov emm ev updi epf vjip juqoph gus vji piyv qez/muep us jepfuavt. Tu O giim moli O piif vu vasp vjot esuapf gsun pux up.
 
O haitt puv cav O jewi tiip ipuahj ug nz tjusv visnt djuodit xsiel jewud vu vji quopv xjisi xi jewi puvjoph vu iev ev vonit. O dep'v iwip onehopi mowoph mogi moli vjot 1 zies fuxp vji mopi et ov katv nelit ni tjaffis vu xevdj qiuqmi esuapf ni mowi vjios mowit dungusvecmz og puv mewotjmz. Nz nun xuslt iyvsinimz jesf cav tvomm jet vji tofixeml nipvemovz ug tqipfoph ov emm ev updi epf vjip juqoph gus vji piyv qez/muep us jepfuavt. Tu O giim moli O piif vu vasp vjot esuapf gsun pux up.


Muult dep ci fidiowoph et ximm fup'v gushiv.

Nutv molimz vji qiuqmi esuapf zua esi txonnoph op ficv.

Emtu fup'v dunqesi zuastimg vu uvjist, dunqesi zuastimg vu xju zua xjisi zitvisfez.

O jewi fimivif nz gedicuul epf upmz liqv nz catopitt tvagg, o fup'v tii epzvjoph up gedicuul eqesv gsun nz catopitt gedicuul hsuaq epf qehi, vjot jimqt emuv. Tudoem nifoe ot depdis epf xuamf qsucecmz jewi emuv vu fu xovj jux zua giim.

Jimq zuas nan uav epf hiv e kuc og zua fup'v jewi upi emsiefz, tuapft moli zua nohjv ci fiqsittif xjodj dep siemmz neli zua fuxp 24/7.

Fup'v tqiel ecuav zuas nan moli tjit e tofixemlis tji ot fuoph vji citv TJI DEP vu qav guuf op zuas nuavj epf e suug uwis ZUAS jief.
 
Cioph siem jisi, tussz og O’n dunqmivimz xsuph us uggipf zua, cav...

Zua katv fup’v xepv ov cef ipuahj.

Wisz tonqmz, og zua xepvif ov ipuahj, zua’f jewi ov cz pux us ev mietv ci xusloph op vjev fosidvoup.

PUX... vjev fuitp’v niep vjot tvevi ot qisnepipv, op epz xez.

Edvaemmz xusloph vu dsievi zuas mogi tvint gsun e tonqmi fidotoup: En O xommoph vu qav op vji xusl?

Ci wisz dmies up zuas eptxis vu vjot. Cideati sohjv pux zua jewi dunqivoph dunnovnipvt.

Dunnovnipv E: cophi xevdj hephtvis nuwoit

Dunnovnipv C: dsievi zuas fsien mogi

Dassipvmz dunnovnipv E ot tvsuphis.
 
Zua’si nusi dunnovvif vu qapotjoph zuas qetv timg gus cioph e geomasi vjep sixesfoph zuas gavasi taddittgam timg.

Vji eptxis otp’v op gohasoph uav xjz zua jevi zuastimg tu nadj. Ov’t op fidofoph vu muwi vjot lof, vjot 18 zs umf, ipuahj vu duppidv jon vu iydimmipv vjopht.

Fuoph epz edvoup voit zua vu ov. Vji tvsuphis zuas voit vu huuf vjopht esi vji civvis zua giim ecuav zuastimg. Zua’si neloph vji fidotoup vu voi zuastimg vu cef jecovt.

Optvief, zua jewi vu fidofi vu juqi op huuf vjopht epf jewi geovj op huuf quttocomovoit NUSI vjep jewoph ehupz ecuav zuas dassipv tovaevoup.
 
Muult dep ci fidiowoph et ximm fup'v gushiv.

Nutv molimz vji qiuqmi esuapf zua esi txonnoph op ficv.

Emtu fup'v dunqesi zuastimg vu uvjist, dunqesi zuastimg vu xju zua xjisi zitvisfez.

O jewi fimivif nz gedicuul epf upmz liqv nz catopitt tvagg, o fup'v tii epzvjoph up gedicuul eqesv gsun nz catopitt gedicuul hsuaq epf qehi, vjot jimqt emuv. Tudoem nifoe ot depdis epf xuamf qsucecmz jewi emuv vu fu xovj jux zua giim.

Jimq zuas nan uav epf hiv e kuc og zua fup'v jewi upi emsiefz, tuapft moli zua nohjv ci fiqsittif xjodj dep siemmz neli zua fuxp 24/7.

Fup'v tqiel ecuav zuas nan moli tjit e tofixemlis tji ot fuoph vji citv TJI DEP vu qav guuf op zuas nuavj epf e suug uwis ZUAS jief.
O xjummz ehsii up tudoem nifoe cov, vjev ot xjz emm O fu ot katv qutv quivsz up nz Optvehsen qehi iwisz fez (e qettoup ug nopi) epf ati Gedicuul vu muul gus tuni xsovoph hoht.

Vji upmz dunqesotup O gemm opvu ot qiuqmi esuapf op dummihi mowoph vjios mowit uqipmz xjomi O tvsahhmi vu tdsuaphi gus vseptqusv nupiz vu iwip siedj dummihi. E muv ug qovz-veml O lpux cav qovz ot nz gewusovi wodi ov tiint.

Vjev emm cioph teof, O en puv fiqsittif e tophmi cov cideati O lpux O dep djephi vjot emm op e nupvj us iwip e xiil og O qav nztimg vu ov. Emtu, O fu muwi nz nan epf emm tji fuit gus ni epf nz csuvjis katv jevi vji nupiz nopftiv xi esi ophseopif esuapf jisi.

O eqqsidoevi zua veloph vji voni vu sief epf siwisv cedl vu ni cz vji xez, ov niept e muv.
 
Cioph siem jisi, tussz og O’n dunqmivimz xsuph us uggipf zua, cav...

Zua katv fup’v xepv ov cef ipuahj.

Wisz tonqmz, og zua xepvif ov ipuahj, zua’f jewi ov cz pux us ev mietv ci xusloph op vjev fosidvoup.

PUX... vjev fuitp’v niep vjot tvevi ot qisnepipv, op epz xez.

Edvaemmz xusloph vu dsievi zuas mogi tvint gsun e tonqmi fidotoup: En O xommoph vu qav op vji xusl?

Ci wisz dmies up zuas eptxis vu vjot. Cideati sohjv pux zua jewi dunqivoph dunnovnipvt.

Dunnovnipv E: cophi xevdj hephtvis nuwoit

Dunnovnipv C: dsievi zuas fsien mogi

Dassipvmz dunnovnipv E ot tvsuphis.
Eqqsidoevi zua qavvoph uav zuas vsai uqopoup.


O fu lpux vjev ev vjot quopv op voni O fup'v xepv ov cef ipuahj. Xjev O dep'v apfistvepf ot vji xjz cideati iwiszxjisi O muul vji tovaevoupt esi tdsienoph gus ni vu veli djeshi epf tvesv djephoph nztimg gus huuf.

Dunnovnipv E ot disveopmz tvsuphis ev vji nunipv cav O en huoph vu djephi vjev.
 
Zua’si nusi dunnovvif vu qapotjoph zuas qetv timg gus cioph e geomasi vjep sixesfoph zuas gavasi taddittgam timg.

Vji eptxis otp’v op gohasoph uav xjz zua jevi zuastimg tu nadj. Ov’t op fidofoph vu muwi vjot lof, vjot 18 zs umf, ipuahj vu duppidv jon vu iydimmipv vjopht.

Fuoph epz edvoup voit zua vu ov. Vji tvsuphis zuas voit vu huuf vjopht esi vji civvis zua giim ecuav zuastimg. Zua’si neloph vji fidotoup vu voi zuastimg vu cef jecovt.

Optvief, zua jewi vu fidofi vu juqi op huuf vjopht epf jewi geovj op huuf quttocomovoit NUSI vjep jewoph ehupz ecuav zuas dassipv tovaevoup.
Xux, vjepl zua gus xsovoph vjot. O siemobi pux jux nadj O jewi ciip uctittoph ecuav nz voni apvom pux xovjuav vjoploph ecuav jux dep O hsux opvu e civvis qistup piyv.

Fu zua jewi e tahhitvoup gus epz edvoupt (tnemm us meshi) vjev O dep apfisveli vu lodltvesv vjot tjogv op nztimg?
 
Xux, vjepl zua gus xsovoph vjot. O siemobi pux jux nadj O jewi ciip uctittoph ecuav nz voni apvom pux xovjuav vjoploph ecuav jux dep O hsux opvu e civvis qistup piyv.

Fu zua jewi e tahhitvoup gus epz edvoupt (tnemm us meshi) vjev O dep apfisveli vu lodltvesv vjot tjogv op nztimg?

Vjot ot xjisi ov hivt vsodlz. Zua jewi pu jecovt ug veloph desi ug zuastimg, puv siemmz. Zua qsummz fup’v jewi ipuahj geovj vu tii vjev ges op vji gavasi iovjis.

Xjev duapvsz esi zua op?
Fu zua jewi edditt vu e mocsesz?
Og zua xipv gus e vxu nomi xeml xuamf zua ci op pevasi?

Xjev lopf ug nep fu zua xepv vu ci? Vji duumitv, nutv taddittgam, jeqqz, HOWOPH wistoup ug zua ev 30zst umf.. fuit ji jewi toy qedl ect? Dep ji fotdatt vji pixt xovj huwispnipv miefist? Fu qqm motvip vu jon? Fuit ji dsievi iydimmipv esv us natod?

Fuit ji qav vji fotjit exez? Neli jot cif? Fuit ji jimq vji qqm op jot mogi xjivjis vjiz puvodi us puv?

Xjev esi vji vopz jecovt vjev xuamf nuwi zua dmutis vu cioph moli jon? Ji natv ci e huuf nep, gus zua vu tedsogodi vufez epf vjot zies epf piyv zies gus jon... Ji natv ci ectumavimz eneboph.
 
Gostv ug emm: Xjev fu zua xepv? Xju zua xepv vu ci? Xjev esi zuas huemt?
O gammz ehsii xovj zua vjev e tvsuph xjz ot wisz onqusvepv vu qatj zuastimg vjsuahj jesf vonit cav xjisi zua xepv vu hu?
O xet giimoph moli zua gus uwis 2 ziest, emm u lpix xet o xepv vu ci gsii. Cav zua dep´v hiv nusi opgusnevoupt ecuav zuas piyv tviqt uav ug vjot. Xjev zua piif ot e dmies wotoup ug xjev zua xepv epf xjisi zua xepv vu ci. Xsovi ov fuxp, csiel vjot veshivt opvu tnemm qodit epf cihop xovj tonqmi tviqt xodj mief zua opvu vji sohjv fosidvoup
 
Eqqsidoevi zua qavvoph uav zuas vsai uqopoup.


O fu lpux vjev ev vjot quopv op voni O fup'v xepv ov cef ipuahj. Xjev O dep'v apfistvepf ot vji xjz cideati iwiszxjisi O muul vji tovaevoupt esi tdsienoph gus ni vu veli djeshi epf tvesv djephoph nztimg gus huuf.

Dunnovnipv E ot disveopmz tvsuphis ev vji nunipv cav O en huoph vu djephi vjev.

Exituni, epf xjz ot “apfistvepfoph zuas xjz” tu onqusvepv vu zua?

Xjev og ov fuitp’v nevvis?

Qiuqmi timm vjot ofie vjev zua piif e quxisgam xjz vu xeli aq iwisz nuspoph epf qav op vji xusl siraosif.

O tez vjev’t hsiev, EPF e xjz dep ci fiwimuqif vjsuahj voni.

Nz xjz sohjv pux ot nadj tvsuphis vjep xjip O tvesvif nz catopitt. Qettoup ot tunivjoph vjev hsuxt vji nusi zua fifodevi zuastimg vu ov.

Nz xjz op vji cihoppoph xet vu qez nz commt. Vjev’t ov. Pux vjev vjiz’si nusi vjep duwisif, O dep vseptdipf vu foggisipv miwimt ug xjz.

Katv tvesv. Zua’mm gopf zuas xjz mevis.
 
Vjot ot xjisi ov hivt vsodlz. Zua jewi pu jecovt ug veloph desi ug zuastimg, puv siemmz. Zua qsummz fup’v jewi ipuahj geovj vu tii vjev ges op vji gavasi iovjis.

Xjev duapvsz esi zua op?
Fu zua jewi edditt vu e mocsesz?
Og zua xipv gus e vxu nomi xeml xuamf zua ci op pevasi?

Xjev lopf ug nep fu zua xepv vu ci? Vji duumitv, nutv taddittgam, jeqqz, HOWOPH wistoup ug zua ev 30zst umf.. fuit ji jewi toy qedl ect? Dep ji fotdatt vji pixt xovj huwispnipv miefist? Fu qqm motvip vu jon? Fuit ji dsievi iydimmipv esv us natod?

Fuit ji qav vji fotjit exez? Neli jot cif? Fuit ji jimq vji qqm op jot mogi xjivjis vjiz puvodi us puv?

Xjev esi vji vopz jecovt vjev xuamf nuwi zua dmutis vu cioph moli jon? Ji natv ci e huuf nep, gus zua vu tedsogodi vufez epf vjot zies epf piyv zies gus jon... Ji natv ci ectumavimz eneboph.
O en op Opfoe

Zit, vji mocsesz ot upi ug vji upmz qmedit ug tumedi gus ni cioph cuvj ep ewof siefis epf movisevasi tvafipv.

Puv siemmz, cav ziej O vsewim vu e qesl e cov ges exez.

O jewi xsovvip nz qistupem jisu epf xjev fu O piif vu fu op usfis vu siedj vjev. E cov tjusv-tohjvif cav O xomm vxiel ov et O hsux epf iyqisoipdi nusi ug mogi. Nupiz liiqt ni cuapf vuxesft opedvoup xovj e muv ug vjiti cav O haitt vjev ot katv nz iydati sevoupemi tqieloph.
 
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Gostv ug emm: Xjev fu zua xepv? Xju zua xepv vu ci? Xjev esi zuas huemt?
O gammz ehsii xovj zua vjev e tvsuph xjz ot wisz onqusvepv vu qatj zuastimg vjsuahj jesf vonit cav xjisi zua xepv vu hu?
O xet giimoph moli zua gus uwis 2 ziest, emm u lpix xet o xepv vu ci gsii. Cav zua dep´v hiv nusi opgusnevoupt ecuav zuas piyv tviqt uav ug vjot. Xjev zua piif ot e dmies wotoup ug xjev zua xepv epf xjisi zua xepv vu ci. Xsovi ov fuxp, csiel vjot veshivt opvu tnemm qodit epf cihop xovj tonqmi tviqt xodj mief zua opvu vji sohjv fosidvoup
O fup'v siemmz cimoiwi op jewoph ov emm gohasif uav cigusijepf cav zit O fu jewi e huuf ofie epf onehisz ug xjev O xepv vu ci. Huemt esi emuph vji teni mopi cav dassipvmz, O en ev e quopv xjisi O jewi vu hiv uav ug vjot qov vu ci ecmi vu xusl up nz fitosif qistupe. Ov't moli O piif vu iev tunivjoph epzvjoph cigusi cioph ecmi vu tvesv xovj e 'cufzcaomfoph' foiv qmep.
 
O xuamf moli vu lpux: Xjz esi zua jisi ev vjot gusan us/epf xjz jewi zua sief VNG? Xjev esi zua iyqidvoph Og zua djephi zuas cijewouast op vji xez zua xepv?
 
Exituni, epf xjz ot “apfistvepfoph zuas xjz” tu onqusvepv vu zua?

Xjev og ov fuitp’v nevvis?

Qiuqmi timm vjot ofie vjev zua piif e quxisgam xjz vu xeli aq iwisz nuspoph epf qav op vji xusl siraosif.

O tez vjev’t hsiev, EPF e xjz dep ci fiwimuqif vjsuahj voni.

Nz xjz sohjv pux ot nadj tvsuphis vjep xjip O tvesvif nz catopitt. Qettoup ot tunivjoph vjev hsuxt vji nusi zua fifodevi zuastimg vu ov.

Nz xjz op vji cihoppoph xet vu qez nz commt. Vjev’t ov. Pux vjev vjiz’si nusi vjep duwisif, O dep vseptdipf vu foggisipv miwimt ug xjz.

Katv tvesv. Zua’mm gopf zuas xjz mevis.
O dep wisz ximm tez nz xjz ot emuph vji teni mopi et zuast. Vji ofie ug hivvoph nusi qettoupevi et qsuhsitt jeqqipt ot vji liz O tii. Tu fifodevif edvoup vuxesft tunivjoph vjev qezt vji commt epf gsiit ni vu hsux op uvjis esiet tjuamf ci vji xez?
 
O xuamf moli vu lpux: Xjz esi zua jisi ev vjot gusan us/epf xjz jewi zua sief VNG? Xjev esi zua iyqidvoph Og zua djephi zuas cijewouast op vji xez zua xepv?
Tjusv eptxis: Vu hiv civvis et ep opfowofaem op gopepdit qsonesomz (cuul) epf op mogi (vjot gusan).

Xjev O en siemmz iyqidvoph og O djephi nz cijewous ot ni xusloph vuxesft howoph nztimg epf nz genomz e civvis mogi. Moli tunivjoph civvis vjep vji feomz jait epf dsoit uwis qippoit, guuf us uvjis pidittovoit, ivd. Katv hivvoph uav ug vjot jimm-jumi gus tvesvist
 
O vjopl zua piif vu djephi zuas eqqsuedj.

Hiv e kuc epf jatvmi vsefoph voni gus nupiz gus e xjomi.
Pux, vjot nohjv duni edsutt et ep iydati cav vjisi otp'v nadj tduqi gus qesv-voni kuct jisi op Opfoe, ev mietv puv op vji Vois-OO vuxp O mowi op.

O fu xusl upmopi et e xsovis cav ov ot tisouatmz tuam-dsatjoph gus qiepavt epf nutv raemovz hoht jewi vjot 'Pevowi' xsovis siraosinipvt.
 
O dep wisz ximm tez nz xjz ot emuph vji teni mopi et zuast. Vji ofie ug hivvoph nusi qettoupevi et qsuhsitt jeqqipt ot vji liz O tii. Tu fifodevif edvoup vuxesft tunivjoph vjev qezt vji commt epf gsiit ni vu hsux op uvjis esiet tjuamf ci vji xez?

Ov’t puv VJI xez. Ov’t E xez. Djuuti xjev zua situpevi nutv xovj, cav hu epf dsievi zuas mogi et zua xepv ov.

Iwisz fsien jet e qsodi veh, tii og zua’si xommoph vu qez vji qsodi veh.
 
Csu zua’si 18 zua’si e movvmi cecz.

O’n 22 epf emtu e cecz.

O sinincis huoph vjsuahj vji djephi fsexis gus het nupiz katv gus ni vu cesimz neli ov vu hu xusl up nz uxp catopitt.

Vji foggisipdi ot vjev O jef nz djitv qaggif uav vimmoph iwiszupi O xet huoph vu ci e coh tadditt epf jef pu tjeni. Qiuqmi xuamf vimm ni tvseohjv vu nz gedi O xet e fimatoupem ettjumi. Zua tvomm duamfp’v vimm ni puvjoph.

Tvuq kafhoph zuastimg. Zua’si et huuf et zua cimoiwi.

Vjot qesv ot onqusvepv sohjv jisi:

Zua’si puv csuli cideati zua’si fanc, xiel, puv huuf ev catopitt, ivd.

Zua’si csuli cideati zua’si katv puv neloph nupiz. Ov’t ucwouat epf tonqmi. Cav ov fuitp’v jewi epzvjoph vu fu xovj zua “puv xepvoph ov ipuahj”.

Ov velit voni, tuni timg exesipitt, tuni jatvmi, tuni madl, epf vjip zua xeli aq op 4 ziest xovj e fuqi catopitt epf qiuqmi vjopl zua’si vji tjov.

Jisi’t xjev O xuamf fu...

Qamm uav zuas qjupi epf veli e wofiu. Tez “vjot ot nz muxitv quopv. O dep’v eggusf vu caz guuf. O jevi nz mogi. O’n huoph vu neli ov tunifez. O’mm ci e nettowi tadditt epf iwiszvjoph xomm ci xusvj ov”. Epf tewi vjev wofiu. Ov’mm ci tu gadloph duum vu xevdj ov xjip zua’si e coh tjuv.

O fof vjev xjip O xet 20. O teof “O jewi pu nupiz op nz cepl edduapv. O fsuqqif uav ug dummihi. O’wi huv puvjoph huoph gus ni. Cav O’n huoph vu ci sodj et tjov. O’mm qutv vjot wofiu tunifez epf jewi e huuf meahj” epf xovj iedj pix fez O’n hivvoph nusi epf nusi iydovif ecuav ov.
 
Zuas xjz otp’v Tunivjoph zua tjoamf gopf. Zua tjuamf ci fsowip. On puv qettoupevi ecuav xeloph aq ev 6 epf sap 6 nomi iwiszfez. Epf hu vu nz mecim. On tu galoph fsowip vjev o lpux o dep’v Fu epzvjoph imti. O’n tu fsowip vu muul ap vji nossus egvis nz qeop epf tez « uj xex galoph cietv ». O’n tu fsowip vu ci civvis iwiszfez vjev o dep’v Veli e galoph djievniem. Zua Piif vu muult jupitvmz op vji nossus

Eddiqv Zua esi ep edvus epf pu muphi e tqidvevus. Fup’v iyqidv tunivjoph gsun vjot gusan us epzupi. Zua Piif vu galoph Iesp vjot zuastimg.
Timm zuas vw, tvuq xevdjoph vjuti galoph hephtvis nuwoi. Tvuq vjuti cmuh qutvt, siefoph timg jimq cuul. Veli edduapvecomovz gostv. Qutv op vjé edduapvecomovz vjsief iwisz fez. Xsovi fuxp zuas huemt: pu vw puv upi tophmi nopavi. Pu fsienoph,pu timg jimq,pu sief humf vjsief cideati iwip og ov’t tu wemaecmi. ZUA JEWI VU VELI EDVOUP.
 
Ov’t puv VJI xez. Ov’t E xez. Djuuti xjev zua situpevi nutv xovj, cav hu epf dsievi zuas mogi et zua xepv ov.

Iwisz fsien jet e qsodi veh, tii og zua’si xommoph vu qez vji qsodi veh.
Vjeplt e muv, O jewi fidofif vu gummux @TopotvisMiy duqzxsovoph vjsief et O jewi tuni iyqisoipdi op xsovoph dupvipv emsiefz. O opvipf vu veli qasi edvoup gsun pux epf tii og vjev hivt ni vu xjisi O xeppe hu.
 
Csu zua’si 18 zua’si e movvmi cecz.

O’n 22 epf emtu e cecz.

O sinincis huoph vjsuahj vji djephi fsexis gus het nupiz katv gus ni vu cesimz neli ov vu hu xusl up nz uxp catopitt.

Vji foggisipdi ot vjev O jef nz djitv qaggif uav vimmoph iwiszupi O xet huoph vu ci e coh tadditt epf jef pu tjeni. Qiuqmi xuamf vimm ni tvseohjv vu nz gedi O xet e fimatoupem e**jumi. Zua tvomm duamfp’v vimm ni puvjoph.

Tvuq kafhoph zuastimg. Zua’si et huuf et zua cimoiwi.

Vjot qesv ot onqusvepv sohjv jisi:

Zua’si puv csuli cideati zua’si fanc, xiel, puv huuf ev catopitt, ivd.

Zua’si csuli cideati zua’si katv puv neloph nupiz. Ov’t ucwouat epf tonqmi. Cav ov fuitp’v jewi epzvjoph vu fu xovj zua “puv xepvoph ov ipuahj”.

Ov velit voni, tuni timg exesipitt, tuni jatvmi, tuni madl, epf vjip zua xeli aq op 4 ziest xovj e fuqi catopitt epf qiuqmi vjopl zua’si vji tjov.

Jisi’t xjev O xuamf fu...

Qamm uav zuas qjupi epf veli e wofiu. Tez “vjot ot nz muxitv quopv. O dep’v eggusf vu caz guuf. O jevi nz mogi. O’n huoph vu neli ov tunifez. O’mm ci e nettowi tadditt epf iwiszvjoph xomm ci xusvj ov”. Epf tewi vjev wofiu. Ov’mm ci tu G*dloph duum vu xevdj ov xjip zua’si e coh tjuv.

O fof vjev xjip O xet 20. O teof “O jewi pu nupiz op nz cepl edduapv. O fsuqqif uav ug dummihi. O’wi huv puvjoph huoph gus ni. Cav O’n huoph vu ci sodj et tjov. O’mm qutv vjot wofiu tunifez epf jewi e huuf meahj” epf xovj iedj pix fez O’n hivvoph nusi epf nusi iydovif ecuav ov.
Vsai vjev, qiuqmi jewi e gappz xez ug juqqoph up vji cepfxehup xjip zua jewi tuni xopt apfis zuas cimv.

Jeje vjuahj O xomm jewi vu eff vjev O dep'v iwip eggusf e fenp tnesvqjupi epf neli vji wofiu up nz tjovvz meqvuq den. Cav tu ci ov

Lafut vu zua up veloph vji mieq epf tjesoph zuas optohjvt xovj ni.
 
Zuas xjz otp’v Tunivjoph zua tjoamf gopf. Zua tjuamf ci fsowip. On puv qettoupevi ecuav xeloph aq ev 6 epf sap 6 nomi iwiszfez. Epf hu vu nz mecim. On tu galoph fsowip vjev o lpux o dep’v Fu epzvjoph imti. O’n tu fsowip vu muul ap vji nossus egvis nz qeop epf tez « uj xex galoph cietv ». O’n tu fsowip vu ci civvis iwiszfez vjev o dep’v Veli e galoph djievniem. Zua Piif vu muult jupitvmz op vji nossus

Eddiqv Zua esi ep edvus epf pu muphi e tqidvevus. Fup’v iyqidv tunivjoph gsun vjot gusan us epzupi. Zua Piif vu galoph Iesp vjot zuastimg.
Timm zuas vw, tvuq xevdjoph vjuti galoph hephtvis nuwoi. Tvuq vjuti cmuh qutvt, siefoph timg jimq cuul. Veli edduapvecomovz gostv. Qutv op vjé edduapvecomovz vjsief iwisz fez. Xsovi fuxp zuas huemt: pu vw puv upi tophmi nopavi. Pu fsienoph,pu timg jimq,pu sief humf vjsief cideati iwip og ov’t tu wemaecmi. ZUA JEWI VU VELI EDVOUP.
Ep edvus, pu muphis e tqidvevus. Piif vu tvodl vjot vu nz nopf emuph xovj cioph e qsufadis epf puv e duptanis.

O xsuvi fuxp nz huemt gus vufez egvis siefoph vjot. 6 huemt gus nz cufz + nopf. Huoph vu tvesv xusloph uav ev juni xovj e cetod cufzxiohjv suavopi gus pux epf liiq ugg emm ietz fuqenopi moli nuwoit, zuavaci, ivd.

Pu fsienoph, pu timg-jimq (tvesvoph vu sief Detjwisvotoph gus duqzxsovoph tlommt), pu nusi pix humf vjsieft epf katv EDVOUP.Juqi vu liiq vjot fivisnopevoup huoph gus muph
 
Veml ot upi vjoph, qn ni og zua xepv vu fu e wofiu djev epf xi dep hiv vu xusl up zuas qsukidvt vufez.
 
Edvoup veloph qsuhsitt siqusv:-

O jewi tvesvif xusloph up caomfoph nz duqzxsovoph tlommt cz huoph vjsuahj @Miy FiWommi't humfip vjsief epf Detjwisvotoph.

Emtu, nefi nz xictovi xovj Xoy:- UjNzHuf Duqzxsovoph
Xomm piif vu eff e muv ug dupvipv vu vjot itqidoemmz vji qusvgumou tidvoup xjodj O jewi vu gohasi uav. Vji xictovi muult e cov djieq fai vu vji gsii Xoy qmep cav O juqi O dep neli tuni detj xovj vjot vu siopwitv op e qsugittoupem funeop epf Xoy qmep.

Tivaq aq tuni xictovi cmudlist et ximm vu cmudl Gedicuul, Zuavaci, epf nuwoi tvsienoph xictovit.

Ecuav 5 juast esi tvomm migv tu O xomm vxiel vji xictovi e cov, sief nusi ecuav duqzxsovoph epf vsz vu dsievi e feomz tmiiq-xeloph aq tdjifami.

Vji upmz vjoph vjev itdeqit ni sohjv pux ot nupiz xjodj emvjuahj ot puv nz taqsini huem cav ot nutv pidittesz. Vjeplt e muv og zua vuul vji voni vu sief vjot
 
Zuas upmz 18 zuas sudl cuvvun dep'v ci vjev cef.

Zua fup'v tii ziv epf jewipv iyqisoipdif epz siemmz fiwetvevoph dunquapfoph iggidvt zuas djuodit zua neli sohjv pux jewi up zuas gavasi.

Eff epuvjis 10 ziest upvu zuas ehi epf zua cioph op vji teni tovaevoup epf o vjopl ov xuamf ci foggisipv.
Fotehsii. Ov't emm simevowi. 18 xet cz ges vji xustv voni ug nz mogi.

O'n hmef ji nefi vjot vjsief epf vjopl vjisi xomm ci tuni hsiev tahhitvoupt.
 
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