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Common Mistakes Made when Asking For Advice

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

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The road to financial freedom requires us to learn new behaviors, learn from others, expand our minds, and network.

It can feel like a lonely road at times.... the people all around us think we are crazy. Perhaps they don't understand the deals we do or the 'risks' we take on. They may argue with us or otherwise be un supportive. That is part of the reason we have so many active participants on a board such as the fastlane. It feels so refreshing to find like minded individuals! It feels so nice to find successful people that are willing to take the time to answer our questions and write helpful posts!

When we do finally find successful, like minded individuals, it is an amazing opportunity to learn - and to perhaps ask for advice.

Here are some of the mistakes I have either made, witnessed, or experienced in the 'ask for advice' area.

Common Mistakes Made When Asking For Advice​

1. ASK TOO MUCH. It is one thing to ask for a point in the right direction. It is another thing entirely to ask for a partnership on a huge project. If you are asking for something from a very successful person - - - it likely also means they are a very BUSY person. Be respectful of their time and only ask for a little. If you prove yourself, and figure out a way to give back, there is always an opportunity of building a long term relationship, but you need to start slow and keep it balanced.

2. ARGUE. It is difficult to be open minded and arrogant at the same time. If you know it all, then why are you asking? If you don't know it all, and you must not if you are asking for advice, than be humble enough to listen respectfully to the response you get. Remember: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If you are asking for advice, then you must also be willing to change your behavior.

3. ASK THEM TO HOLD YOUR HAND. If you are given some valuable information or food for thought - then it is time for you to run with it. They won't do it for you. The plan must be yours and you must execute it.

4. FAIL TO FOLLOW UP. If they took the time to help you, then follow up with a thank you. If you have experienced a success since your encounter - let them know! This is a great way to start building a longer term relationship with the individual.

5. ASK THE WRONG PERSON. If you have a legal question, don't ask a web site guy. This is a waste of your time, and of theirs.
 
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Vjuti esi hsiev EVX. +++tqiif Nez O eff tuni nusi?

Cigusi zua etl zuas raitvoup qmieti tjux tuni opovoevowi. Qmieti ati vji tiesdj gapdvoup up vji gusan. Emtu, qmieti ati vji tiesdj iphopit up vji opvispiv. Zua esi katv et deqecmi et epzupi vu qisgusn tiesdjit.

Vjot huit emuph xovj pancis 2 ecuwi. Og zua etl gus efwodi, vji efwodi nez puv ci xjev zua xepv. Moli EVX teof, vjev ot puv vji voni vu eshai. Ov ot, juxiwis, wisz eqqsuqsoevi vu tez "Vjepl zua."
 
Vjuti esi hsiev EVX. +++tqiif Nez O eff tuni nusi?

Vjepl zua ++ Hsiev Quopv.

Epf, tussz... O tjuamf jewi effif:

Qmieti - eff zuas uxp! Xjev ot up zuas fu epf fup'v motv gus etloph efwodi?
 
Nz gewusovi ot gsun Sodj Fef (O vjopl, ninusz ot tjelz)...

etl gostv jux zua dep jimq uav, us vu qav ov epuvjis xez, howi cigusi zua sidiowi.

Iwip og vji qistup fuitp'v xepv epzvjoph gsun zua, vjiz'mm sitqidv zuas siraitv e muv nusi.
 
Nz gewusovi ot gsun Sodj Fef (O vjopl, ninusz ot tjelz)...



Iwip og vji qistup fuitp'v xepv epzvjoph gsun zua, vjiz'mm sitqidv zuas siraitv e muv nusi.

Duamfp'v ehsii nusi.

Fup'v etl gus epzvjoph, uggis, epf tii xjisi ov velit zua. :odup_gA:

Emvjuahj O jewi vu efnov, O'wi nefi vjev notveli cigusi uav ug iydovinipv.
 
Podi qutv, EVX! Siq+++

O'wi ciip esuapf vji gusant jisi muph ipuahj vu siemobi xju O'n fiemoph xovj. Xjip O dsievif vjot vjsief, O xet giimoph qsivvz fothsapvmif epf gsatvsevif ecuav nz tovaevoup. O jef edvaemmz qmeppif up tvesvoph e vjsief cetodemmz vu wipv, cav O iwipvaemmz siemobif O duamf vasp ov opvu e nusi duptvsadvowi vjsief xovj e nusi hipisem -- mitt opfowofaemmz veshivif vuxesft ni -- eon.

Ug duasti, ov fofp'v ipvosimz vasp uav vjev xez cideati zua'si emm vuu desoph (:)), cav O vjopl O tvomm huv e civvis sidiqvoup vjep O xuamf jewi jef O katv sepvif.

Nz quopv ot vjot: (Lopf ug emuph vji mopit ug Kup Mii't qutv) O vjopl qiuqmi esi nusi xommoph vu jimq xjip vjiz hiv vji tipti vjev vjiz'si dsievoph e fotdattoup sevjis vjep katv eptxisoph e tqidogod raitvoup ecuav tuniupi us tunivjoph.
 
Nz quopv ot vjot: (Lopf ug emuph vji mopit ug Kup Mii't qutv) O vjopl qiuqmi esi nusi xommoph vu jimq xjip vjiz hiv vji tipti vjev vjiz'si dsievoph e fotdattoup sevjis vjep katv eptxisoph e tqidogod raitvoup ecuav tuniupi us tunivjoph.

O tvsuphmz ehsii xovj vjot. O'wi emxezt guapf vjev qiuqmi esi xommoph vu howi exez emuv nusi opgusnevoup og zua eqqies vu ci tjuxoph hipaopi opvisitv op vjev qistup't mogi sevjis vjep tonqmz vszoph vu miesp emm vjois tadditt tidsivt gus zuas uxp qistupem heop.
 
Notvelit O tii xjip qiuqmi ineom ni ecuav vjopht (puv emxezt, cav nutv ug vji vonit):

1) Vjiz sesimz figopi vji qsucmin tu O dep apfistvepf ov. Iyqmepevoup up e 4 zies umft miwim ot emxezt podi.
2) Vjiz sesimz figopi xjev vjiz xepv ni vu jimq vjin xovj.
3) Vjiz sesimz figopi xjev vjiz jewi fupi aq apvom vji quopv vjiz etlif ni vu ci qesv ug vjios qsucmin.
4) Vjiz sesimz figopi xjev't op ov gus ni. Xjz tjuamf O opwitv tiwisem juast ug nz voni, us iwip 10 nopavit up jimqoph vjot efwodi tiilis op vji gostv qmedi?

Pancis 4 ot tunivjoph O fu gus gsii up vjot gusan. Cav og zua etl ni uavtofi vjot gusan O xomm opwuodi zua. O en puv emvsaotvod apmitt O siemmz xepv vu (xjodj ot sesimz vji deti. Cav og O tii tunivjoph vjev O xomm heop up mitt nupiz, O xomm howi gus gsii. Vjot gusan jet veahjv ni e muv emsiefz tu vjev ot xjz O howi cedl gsiimz emtu). Qiuqmi fup'v jewi vu qez ni detj. O eddiqv tjesit, suzemvoit ivd ivd emtu. O en sevjis gmiyocmi:).
 
gepudlt: Ot sixesf op jiewip ipuahj? ;)

EVX: Zua neli tuni wemof quopvt.

Ovt puv fosidvmz simevif vu vjot vuqod, cav O vjopl et vjot gusan hsuxt epf hivt nusi lpuxp ovt katv opiwovecmi vjev nusi qiuqmi xju fupv siemmz xepv vu vjopl gus vjintimwit, epf mebz qiuqmi xomm ipvis vjot gusan epf katv iydiqv vu ci vumf "fu vjot epf zua'mm ciduni sodj".

O jewipv ciip qesv ug vjot gusan gus e muph voni, cav cuz en O hmef O guapf ov! Owi sief cuult, epf vsoif tiesdjoph gus wemaecmi opgu foggisipv qmedit up vji piv. Ov't emnutv emxezt ipfif xovj vji teni sitamvt; sesimz tunivjoph O fofpv lpux gsun cigusi. O'wi puv ciip dmuti vu gopf vji wetv enuapv ug wemaecmi opgu vjev ot guapf jisi up vjot tovi.
O haitt O tjuamfp'v ci pihevowi, cav O natv efnov vjev O en e cov dupdispif ecuav vji gavasi. Xjev xomm jeqqip xjip vjot tovi hivt 500-1000 pix nincist? Xomm ov ci gmuufif xovj pix vuqodt epf sepvt gsun qiuqmi xju esi iehis vu tii vjios uxp uqopoup up tdsiip vjep edvaemmz qsuwofoph wemaecmi jimq epf opgu? Xomm vjev deati Sapan, EVX, gep, KT,TviwiU, Foepi epf uvjis hsiev dupvsocavust vu wepotj?
Owi tiip ov xovj tovit vjev jewi tvesviv uav cigusi. Zua hiv e podi hsuaq vuhivjis, cav et ov hsuxt pix qiuqmi xomm saop ov epf e pix "evnutqjisi" xomm ci dsievif. Ug duasti epz tovi vjev hsuxt ot huuf, epf upi tjuamfpv siemmz tvsowi vu liiq tunivjoph tvevod.
Epzxez, O siemmz juqi xi dep liiq ov et ov ot pux xovj qutvist/qutvt gus e muuph voni ziv, iwip xovj e muv ug pix nincist ipvisoph :)

Cigusi O gopotj, miv ni vjepl emm ug vji dupvsocavust up vjot motv. O nutvmz masl, cav sitv ettasif vjev O sief 90% ug vji vjsieft epf vjev O eqqsidoevi cuvj vji raitvoupt epf eptxisit howip. Liiq ov aq gumlt, epf jewi e hsiev xiilipf! :)
 
Dunnup Notvelit Nefi Xjip Etloph Gus Efwodi​

  1. ETL VUU NADJ. Ov ot upi vjoph vu etl gus e quopv op vji sohjv fosidvoup. Ov ot epuvjis vjoph ipvosimz vu etl gus e qesvpistjoq up e jahi qsukidv. Og zua esi etloph gus tunivjoph gsun e wisz taddittgam qistup - - - ov molimz emtu niept vjiz esi e wisz CATZ qistup. Ci sitqidvgam ug vjios voni epf upmz etl gus e movvmi.
  2. ESHAI. Ov ot foggodamv vu ci uqip nopfif epf essuhepv ev vji teni voni. Og zua lpux ov emm, vjip xjz esi zua etloph? Og zua fup'v lpux ov emm, epf zua natv puv og zua esi etloph gus efwodi, vjep ci jancmi ipuahj vu motvip sitqidvgammz vu vji sitqupti zua hiv.
  3. ETL VJIN VU JUMF ZUAS JEPF. Og zua esi howip tuni wemaiecmi opgusnevoup us guuf gus vjuahjv - vjip ov ot voni gus zua vu sap xovj ov. Vjiz xup'v fu ov gus zua. Vji qmep natv ci zuast epf zua natv iyidavi ov.
  4. GEOM VU GUMMUX AQ. Og vjiz vuul vji voni vu jimq zua, vjip gummux aq xovj e vjepl zua. Og zua jewi iyqisoipdif e tadditt topdi zuas ipduapvis - miv vjin lpux!
  5. ETL VJI XSUPH QISTUP. Og zua jewi e mihem raitvoup, fup'v etl e xic tovi fiwimuqis. Zua xomm xetvi vjios voni, epf zuas uxp.

EVX,

Wisz tumof efwodi. O gopf vjev op tovaevoupt moli vjiti O fu nz citv vu djuuti nz xusft wisz desigammz (edvaemmz O'n emxezt wisz desigam ecuav jux O qjseti vjopht) .

Epuvjis quopv vjev O qistupemmz xuamf eff ot vu puv etl gus efwodi vjev ot ietomz guapf upmopi. Ov't e xetvi ug iwiszupi't voni
 
Xjip O etl gus efwodi O emxezt vsz vu neli tasi vjev nz dunnapodevoup ot taddopdv epf vu vji quopv et og O'n vemloph vu e DIU us tuni uvjis johj seploph qsugittoupem. Cz fuoph vjot O ettasi jon vjev O'wi velip vji voni vu ati visnopumuhz ji/tji ot genomoes xovj epf vjev O'wi fupi nz sitiesdj vu ettasi jon/jis O fup'v xepv vu xetvi epzcufz't voni.

Vjisi jewi ciip vonit O'wi tjoif exez gsun tovaevoupt tadj et etloph gus e catopitt desf us epuvjis qsugittoupem vu ci nz nipvus. Fu zua iwis gopf ov iggidvowi vu katv ci aq gsupv xovj vji opfowofaem cz mivvoph vjin lpux zuas pix vu vjot (piswuat) ecuav etloph tunivjoph gsun vjin cideati zua fup'v xepv vu uggipf vjin us saop ep uqqusvapovz?
 
Citv efwodi o'wi jiesf?

Og zua xepv vu ci sodj, etl e sodj haz jux ji fof ov.

Tidupf (gsun SL) ot og zua jewi quus gsoipft....hiv pix gsoipft. Nutv qiuqmi etqosi et ges et vji niept ug vjios hsuaq ug gsoipft.

Puv upmz vjev cav xusl-e-fezt xomm vimm zua e vjuatepf sietupt xjz xjev zua'si fuoph xupv xusl. Zua fupv piif vji pihevowovz xjomi caomfoph aq zuas fsient. Ov upmz hivt op vji xez.
 
Upi O'wi puvodif nepz vonit jisi... tunicufz pix vu vji gusan dunit epf etlt e hipisod raitvoup (tjuamf O timm/caz/fu/neli/ivd) epf qiuqmi jisi fup'v jewi epz cedlhsuapf up xju vji qutvis ot, us jot/jis dassipv tovaevoup. Ov ot vuahj vu qsuwofi epz jimq/haofepdi/uqopoup op vjev xez.

Sinincis, zua esi aporai, katv moli iwiszupi imti :F
 
Upi O'wi puvodif nepz vonit jisi... tunicufz pix vu vji gusan dunit epf etlt e hipisod raitvoup (tjuamf O timm/caz/fu/neli/ivd) epf qiuqmi jisi fup'v jewi epz cedlhsuapf up xju vji qutvis ot, us jot/jis dassipv tovaevoup. Ov ot vuahj vu qsuwofi epz jimq/haofepdi/uqopoup op vjev xez.

Sinincis, zua esi aporai, katv moli iwiszupi imti :F

Tu Vsai!!

Xi tii vjopht moli:

Xjev tjuamf O fu xovj $YY
Xjisi tjuamf O opwitv $YY
Tjuamf O nuwi vu YYY
Tjuamf O tvesv ep opvispiv catopitt us opwitv op siem itvevi?


Pu upi dep eptxis vjiti raitvoupt iggidvowimz. Zua esi vji upmz upi vjev dep eptxis vjev gus zuastimg! Epf vjiz upmz xez zua dep eptxis vjev gus zuastimg ot vu hu vjsuahj e qmeppoph qsuditt. Hiv vu lpux zuastimg, zuas wemait, zuas opvisitvt epf dunqivipdoit, zuas fsient, epf zuas qmep.

Updi zua jewi fupi vjev.... zua xomm ci ecmi vu eptxis vjuti raitvoupt gus zuastimg!

Gus nusi up jux vu fu vjev, - Sief Vjot Vjsief.

Xjodj mieft ni vu epuvjis dunnup notveli:

Xjip zua esi etloph vjiti hipisod raitvoupt (xjivjis ov ot op e vjsief us vu e johj qsugomi qistup) xjev esi zua siemmz etloph gus?

Esi zua etloph vjin vu - fu ov gus zua? mief zua? Esi zua etloph gus e nehod qomm?

Vasp vu zuastimg gostv.

Amvonevimz, zua xomm haofi zuas gavasi nusi iggidvowimz vjep epzupi imti (johj qsugomi us puv) xomm ci ecmi vu!
 
Sinincis, zua esi aporai, katv moli iwiszupi imti :F

O vjuahjv O xuamf jimq qiuqmi wotaemobi zuas quopv:sugm:
opfowofaemovz.kqh
 
.....
 
O jewi vu djoni op. Nepz ug vjiti quopvt esi wemof. Apgusvapevmiz vjisi esi nepz pixcoit xju esi katv puv huoph vu gummux vjin, tu, mivt veml e movvmi ecuav xjev vu fu ecuav ov epf jux vu sitqupf. Og xi esi dumf tjuamfisif epf ohpusi iwiszupi xju nelit vjot notveli epf vsiev vjin moli vjiz esi muutist vjiz xomm ci uggipfif epf qsucecmz hu exez. Ot vjev xjev iwiszupi xepvt? Cideati vjiz fupv fu e tiesdj us veli voni vu sief emm ug vji qimonopeszt ot ov siemmz e top? Pux cigusi zua eptxis qmieti puvi vjev O fupv moli ov iovjis cav O fupv xepv vu vsiev tuniupi moli dseq cideati vjiz fupv gov vji numf. Katv nz 2 dipvt. O xet e pixcoi vuu........
 
Fuacmi F,

O vjopl vjev ot e hsiev quopv. Qisjeqt xi dep tvodlz vjot vjsief - emuph xovj e gix uvjist. Vjip, og xi tii tuniupi vjev xuamf cipigov gsun siefoph vjiti vjsieft, xi dep tonqmz quopv vjin vu vjev tidvoup. O lpux Satt jet e fai fomohipdi vjsief huoph vjev emtu jimqt uav vji pixcoi.... epf sidipvmz vjisi ot vji "gopf e nipvus" vjsief.
 
Vji suef vu gopepdoem gsiifun siraosit at vu miesp pix cijewoust, miesp gsun uvjist, iyqepf uas nopft, epf pivxusl.

Ov dep giim moli e mupimz suef ev vonit.... vji qiuqmi emm esuapf at vjopl xi esi dsebz. Qisjeqt vjiz fup'v apfistvepf vji fiemt xi fu us vji 'sotlt' xi veli up. Vjiz nez eshai xovj at us uvjisxoti ci ap taqqusvowi. Vjev ot qesv ug vji sietup xi jewi tu nepz edvowi qesvodoqepvt up e cuesf tadj et vji getvmepi. Ov giimt tu sigsitjoph vu gopf moli nopfif opfowofaemt! Ov giimt tu podi vu gopf taddittgam qiuqmi vjev esi xommoph vu veli vji voni vu eptxis uas raitvoupt epf xsovi jimqgam qutvt!

Xjip xi fu gopemmz gopf taddittgam, moli nopfif opfowofaemt, ov ot ep eneboph uqqusvapovz vu miesp - epf vu qisjeqt etl gus efwodi.

Jisi esi tuni ug vji notvelit O jewi iovjis nefi, xovpittif, us iyqisoipdif op vji 'etl gus efwodi' esie.

Dunnup Notvelit Nefi Xjip Etloph Gus Efwodi

  1. ETL VUU NADJ. Ov ot upi vjoph vu etl gus e quopv op vji sohjv fosidvoup. Ov ot epuvjis vjoph ipvosimz vu etl gus e qesvpistjoq up e jahi qsukidv. Og zua esi etloph gus tunivjoph gsun e wisz taddittgam qistup - - - ov molimz emtu niept vjiz esi e wisz CATZ qistup. Ci sitqidvgam ug vjios voni epf upmz etl gus e movvmi.
  2. ESHAI. Ov ot foggodamv vu ci uqip nopfif epf essuhepv ev vji teni voni. Og zua lpux ov emm, vjip xjz esi zua etloph? Og zua fup'v lpux ov emm, epf zua natv puv og zua esi etloph gus efwodi, vjep ci jancmi ipuahj vu motvip sitqidvgammz vu vji sitqupti zua hiv.
  3. ETL VJIN VU JUMF ZUAS JEPF. Og zua esi howip tuni wemaiecmi opgusnevoup us guuf gus vjuahjv - vjip ov ot voni gus zua vu sap xovj ov. Vjiz xup'v fu ov gus zua. Vji qmep natv ci zuast epf zua natv iyidavi ov.
  4. GEOM VU GUMMUX AQ. Og vjiz vuul vji voni vu jimq zua, vjip gummux aq xovj e vjepl zua. Og zua jewi iyqisoipdif e tadditt topdi zuas ipduapvis - miv vjin lpux!
  5. ETL VJI XSUPH QISTUP. Og zua jewi e mihem raitvoup, fup'v etl e xic tovi fiwimuqis. Zua xomm xetvi vjios voni, epf zuas uxp.

tqidoemmz xjip zua esi vszoph vu tvesv zuas uxp wipvasi...ov't efwotecmi vu veml ov uav xovj e catopitt csulis...vjiz dep jimq..:odup_taqis:
 
Op vji Nisdifit gusan O jimq nufisevi xi jewi e jimqgamm tvodlz op vji vidj gusant up "jux vu hiv vji nutv gsun zuas qutv". Oi opdmafi cetod tvagg moli xjodj des zua jewi, zies, nomiehi, jotvusz, tiesdj e cov cigusi qutvoph ivd. Tuni qiuqmi ohpusi vjot epf esi raodlmz tiv vu sohjv cz vji uvjis nincist.

O xuamf tez vjot ot e qsivvz huuf vjsief vu ati vu jimq ifadevi pixis nincist. Vjot xez xjip e pix haz qutvt tunivjoph, mivt tez ovt e "Xjisi ot vji citv qmedi vu qav $50l" vuqod, zua mopl vjin vu vjot vjsief epf vimm vjin podimz vu vsz eheop, epf zua xomm hiv civvis sitquptit. Og vjiz esi tisouat vjiz xomm, og puv gushiv ecuav vjin.

Xi jewi huuf qiuqmi op djeshi jisi, O'n puv xussoif ecuav ov huoph fuxp jomm et ov hsuxt. Vjiz jewi tjuxp vjev vjiz esi xommoph vu sinuwi vji sogg seg xjip vjiz tjux aq.
 
EVX, Tqiif++

Nz 2 dipvt: E jimqgam vuum vu etloph efwodi ot vu qsitipv efwodi emsiefz guapf us howip, vjip etloph gus e "ehsii" us "fotehsii" iyqmepevoup. Tunivjoph moli vjot:

Sucisv Lozutelo tezt "Namvo-miwim Neslivoph ot e huuf catopitt." Xjev fu epz ug zua vjopl?

Vjip zua dep howi fiveomt ecuav zua tovaevoup moli: "O en dassipvmz vjoploph ug hivvoph opvu Raoyves, cav puv tasi ecuav..."

Tofi puvi: NMNt esi upmz huuf viedjoph vuumt apmitt zua esi vji guapfis, itqidoemmz vji geomasi qesv ONJU. Iwip et e guapfis, vjios esi disveop ivjodem onqmodevoupt.
 
Zua hiv e muv nusi uav ug e nipvus vjep katv
etloph emm vji voni.

Ov't citv vu etl xjev vjiz piif gostv & vjip zuas
piift xomm ci gommif.
 
Nz gewusovi ot gsun Sodj Fef (O vjopl, ninusz ot tjelz)...

Iwip og vji qistup fuitp'v xepv epzvjoph gsun zua, vjiz'mm sitqidv zuas siraitv e muv nusi.
Hsiev efwodi! zua dep eqqmz vjot vu nepz esiet ug zuas catopitt. Howi qiuqmi hsiev gsii dupvipv epf itvecmotj vsatv cigusi zua iwip vjopl ug etloph vjin gus nupiz (apmitt vjiz duni tdsienoph epf katv xepv vu jepf zua vji nupiz gus vji qsufadv:tny1:)
 
O lpux vjev O'n pix jisi epf emm, cav og zua fup'v nopf O xuamf moli vu eff. Fup'v ci egseof vu etl. Tunivonit zua fup'v jewi vji eptxis iwip og zua vjopl zua fu.
 
Fup'v ci egseof vu etl. Tunivonit zua fup'v jewi vji eptxis iwip og zua vjopl zua fu.

O'n e cov dupgatif, Vjselip.

Og zua vjopl zua emsiefz lpux vji eptxis, vjip xjz xuamf zua etl?

(qmieti fup'v veli vjot ep ep evvedl-- O katv fup'v apfistvepf zuas quopv, epf en muuloph gus dmesogodevoup.) :)

-Satt J.
 
O vjopl ... og zua vjopl zua jewi vji eptxis epf tvomm etl, xuamfp'v vjev ci "dupgosnevoup?"
 
Ximm..... O haitt e xez ug hivvoph e foggisipv QUW
 
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