Fastlaners with previously expectant wives...

[EngineerThis]

I'm sure many of you can relate, I'm going to be a father for the first time about 7 months from now ... I've also found it extremely hard already to keep my Fastlane motivation up... I need tips, tricks, and maybe some camaraderie..
-My wife and I were on a huge roll this past year and mainly the past 6 months, we were traveling the US in our RV and spent 90% of our day devoted to our Fastlane businesses, and the rest exploring, It was awesome.
-Upon finding out the good news, we decided we need stability and parked the RV back home at my inlaws house. I love my extended family, they're supportive and sweet but "visiting" with them is taking up a considerable amount of time.
-My wife has been very under the weather for the past couple of weeks which is to be expected in her first trimester, I've been taking over a lot of her jobs and chores..
-There's a lot more pressure on me to provide with my business, and frankly, I'm getting less help, and more distracted than ever..
-I'm very positive, I'm excited about the future, just I know I'm only spending 1hr a day or less on my Fastlane, the device that's going to provide us with everything we need as a new family... And the other 10hrs on stuff that doesn't it seems.

Any advice is appreciated, even if its to virtually smack me for complaining about my sick expectant wife ;P

 

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[Dark Water]

There's a difference between being there for your pregnant wife and spending all of your extra time with the inlaws. Figure out what that is for you. I'm hard-pressed to believe that she's only 2 months along and you can only find one hour per day for your fastlane/side hustle/projects.

Her early stage pregnancy has exposed your lack of discipline, boundaries, or grit. Any similar event would have done the same.

What are her "jobs or chores" that you've taken over?

Are you still working outside of spending time on your fastlane pursuit?

What time do you get up and go to sleep each day?

From one fastlaner to another, I challenge you to find three days next week, starting on Monday, that you can devote at least 4-6 hours per day to your pursuits. Rinse and repeat, make it 4 days the following week, etc.

If not, your candle's flame is going to flicker and burn out slowly as the months go by and her pregnancy becomes more and more important.

 

[BizyDad]

I'm sure many of you can relate, I'm going to be a father for the first time about 7 months from now ... I've also found it extremely hard already to keep my Fastlane motivation up... I need tips, tricks, and maybe some camaraderie..
-My wife and I were on a huge roll this past year and mainly the past 6 months, we were traveling the US in our RV and spent 90% of our day devoted to our Fastlane businesses, and the rest exploring, It was awesome.
-Upon finding out the good news, we decided we need stability and parked the RV back home at my inlaws house. I love my extended family, they're supportive and sweet but "visiting" with them is taking up a considerable amount of time.
-My wife has been very under the weather for the past couple of weeks which is to be expected in her first trimester, I've been taking over a lot of her jobs and chores..
-There's a lot more pressure on me to provide with my business, and frankly, I'm getting less help, and more distracted than ever..
-I'm very positive, I'm excited about the future, just I know I'm only spending 1hr a day or less on my Fastlane, the device that's going to provide us with everything we need as a new family... And the other 10hrs on stuff that doesn't it seems.

Any advice is appreciated, even if its to virtually smack me for complaining about my sick expectant wife ;P

First off, congrats!

I'll hit you with my random thoughts...

Fastlane is as much about freedom as it is about success. Use this opportunity to evaluate everything about your business. For starters, is this a business or a job? In other words, are you trading your time for money, or are you building money making systems?

Secondly, give yourself some grace. If you have to scale back, then be prepared to scale back.

Thirdly, I'm not sure if "under the weather" means actually sick. Because she is actually growing a human inside her. That takes unbelievable amounts of energy and this being her first, she isn't prepared for how her body is reacting. As I understand it, the second is easier, but I'm a dude, so what do I know? My point is you need to throw out all expectations you have of what she can or cannot do because even she can't be sure of it. My other point is this...

Just focus on being supportive. You're the man. Time to be the hero. You got this. Even if you don't feel like you got this, step up and project the attitude that you got this. Don't add any worry on her plate. Support her and do your best to keep things light. If she asks about work, "I'm super busy but I'll get through it" is a pretty good response. If you need to vent, find elsewhere to vent. This is as good a place as any.

Let's see...

Massages are her best friend. Especially in the third trimester.

When you do "her jobs and chores" be thankful you have a "her" and remember she's doing a chore you can't ever do for yourself.

This is an awesome time in your life. Looking back, you won't even remember the stress or the little daily sacrifices, so try and not make anything a big deal.

 

[Jon822]

I have two kids. Look at this way, your unborn child should motivate you even more to pursue Fastlane ventures. Do you want be stuck in an office while he or she grows up without you for 40+ hours per week? When you get tempted to waste time on YouTube, read a book that doesn't help you with an immediate problem, or play a video game, picture a future version of your unborn child. He or she is going to need you: will you be able to be there or will you be stuck at an office? Congrats btw!

 

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[EngineerThis]

There's a difference between being there for your pregnant wife and spending all of your extra time with the inlaws. Figure out what that is for you. I'm hard-pressed to believe that she's only 2 months along and you can only find one hour per day for your fastlane/side hustle/projects.

Her early stage pregnancy has exposed your lack of discipline, boundaries, or grit. Any similar event would have done the same.

What are her "jobs or chores" that you've taken over?

Are you still working outside of spending time on your fastlane pursuit?

What time do you get up and go to sleep each day?

From one fastlaner to another, I challenge you to find three days next week, starting on Monday, that you can devote at least 4-6 hours per day to your pursuits. Rinse and repeat, make it 4 days the following week, etc.

If not, your candle's flame is going to flicker and burn out slowly as the months go by and her pregnancy becomes more and more important.

-Wild how time flies, especially in Michigan where we only have 4 more months of good weather. You are right, it is a lack of discipline and boundaries that are harming my work the most.
-Housewife stuff
-Yes working freelance product design, it's not super consistent
-Bed at 10pm up at 6am Wish I could do less than 8hrs but I really can't
-I accept your challenge because slipping further is exactly what I'm worried about, thanks for the strong talk, I needed it

 

[EngineerThis]

First off, congrats!

I'll hit you with my random thoughts...

Fastlane is as much about freedom as it is about success. Use this opportunity to evaluate everything about your business. For starters, is this a business or a job? In other words, are you trading your time for money, or are you building money making systems?

Secondly, give yourself some grace. If you have to scale back, then be prepared to scale back.

Thirdly, I'm not sure if "under the weather" means actually sick. Because she is actually growing a human inside her. That takes unbelievable amounts of energy and this being her first, she isn't prepared for how her body is reacting. As I understand it, the second is easier, but I'm a dude, so what do I know? My point is you need to throw out all expectations you have of what she can or cannot do because even she can't be sure of it. My other point is this...

Just focus on being supportive. You're the man. Time to be the hero. You got this. Even if you don't feel like you got this, step up and project the attitude that you got this. Don't add any worry on her plate. Support her and do your best to keep things light. If she asks about work, "I'm super busy but I'll get through it" is a pretty good response. If you need to vent, find elsewhere to vent. This is as good a place as any.

Let's see...

Massages are her best friend. Especially in the third trimester.

When you do "her jobs and chores" be thankful you have a "her" and remember she's doing a chore you can't ever do for yourself.

This is an awesome time in your life. Looking back, you won't even remember the stress or the little daily sacrifices, so try and not make anything a big deal.

Thanks for the response think I needed to vent more than anything. I think I will talk less business with her, I think you are right she doesn't need any more problems or work. I really appreciate it

 

[EngineerThis]

I have two kids. Look at this way, your unborn child should motivate you even more to pursue Fastlane ventures. Do you want be stuck in an office while he or she grows up without you for 40+ hours per week? When you get tempted to waste time on YouTube, read a book that doesn't help you with an immediate problem, or play a video game, picture a future version of your unborn child. He or she is going to need you: will you be able to be there or will you be stuck at an office? Congrats btw!

F NO!!! Thanks for the a$$ kick!

 

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[Andy Black]

Congrats! I hope it all goes well.

I posted these in @Fox's thread who just became a dad. Both are lines by Craig Desorcey.

"Your job is to be the man you want your son to grow up to be (or your daughter to marry)."

"If you don't figure it out you leave it up to your kids to figure out."


Similar to what @BizyDad said, take time to appreciate the moment, every single day. This is life. And all those harder moments? That's just part of the rich tapestry of life.

I personally put business onto the back burner and focused on being the best dad I could and helping raise our young family. I created a little business that allowed me to work from home, not be stressed by peaks and troughs, and fitted around school runs, homework, dinners, and kicking a ball about before bedtime reading.

They're now old enough to start doing little bits in my business, which is great.

I'm blessed to have been there for so much of their lives.

My motto is that I refuse to spend less time with my kids so I can spend more time with them later.

Each to their own of course.

 

[Happyheart]

I'm sure many of you can relate, I'm going to be a father for the first time about 7 months from now ... I've also found it extremely hard already to keep my Fastlane motivation up... I need tips, tricks, and maybe some camaraderie..
-My wife and I were on a huge roll this past year and mainly the past 6 months, we were traveling the US in our RV and spent 90% of our day devoted to our Fastlane businesses, and the rest exploring, It was awesome.
-Upon finding out the good news, we decided we need stability and parked the RV back home at my inlaws house. I love my extended family, they're supportive and sweet but "visiting" with them is taking up a considerable amount of time.
-My wife has been very under the weather for the past couple of weeks which is to be expected in her first trimester, I've been taking over a lot of her jobs and chores..
-There's a lot more pressure on me to provide with my business, and frankly, I'm getting less help, and more distracted than ever..
-I'm very positive, I'm excited about the future, just I know I'm only spending 1hr a day or less on my Fastlane, the device that's going to provide us with everything we need as a new family... And the other 10hrs on stuff that doesn't it seems.

Any advice is appreciated, even if its to virtually smack me for complaining about my sick expectant wife ;P

1. Congratulations on the good news! Happy times!
2. In the first weeks of pregnancy, I would fall asleep on the computer keyboard while typing, in the middle of the day in a lab with multiple coworkers. The body allocates all of its energy to the mini baby. You can't do anything about it (coffee is not good in pregnancy).
3. Good for you to go to a steady place.
4. If you want to have a happy family, you should man up and take responsibility here. You are responsible to provide a home and living with the in-laws may not be a workable solution in the long run.
5. To be on the safe side, don't count on your wife's work capability for the next 4 years. If she can help a little, that is a bonus, but basically you are the stable factor now. Stress should be avoided.
6. Have a good chat with her about your hopes and dreams and then lay out a plan together that you are both enthusiastic about. Things may not be ideal in the beginning, but in the next 1-3 years you should be able to make strides. Map out the course of the next years and plan what to do when setbacks hit. It may involve getting a job temporarily (healthcare benefits are important now).
7. It is especially important that you talk frankly to each other about work division and that you update this talk regularly, as her energy levels will fluctuate and the same goes after birth.

As for working 1 hour a day on your money making machine... You are an adult and don't need others to tell you what that means. Just read your own post again. A dream without a timeline is just a mirage and leads to action faking. If you want to reach your goals you make a plan with deadlines. You are the man of the house/RV now, so it's up to you. Your decisions will make the difference between a lonely existence in your RV with childcare payments or a wonderful and fulfilling life with a beautiful wife and child.

Good luck to you.