D
Deleted78083
Guest
TLDR: Some people in life are particularly perverse and will abuse you and your kindness and when you realize it happened, it's too late.
How do you prevent this from happening?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The full story:
IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL POST. We are not arguing political views here, I just told the story how it happened. The rules of the forum say we cannot discuss politics. Please comply. Thank you : )
My roommate invited some friends of hers for dinner yesterday night. I joined them at the end of the dinner because I wanted to work on my projects.
When I entered the room, I said hi to everyone, and took a seat. What followed happened fast and without me opening my mouth.
My roommate started saying out loud that I had complained earlier that I valued things less when they were easy to get than when they were hard (because I got an internship in a praised political institution and while I was happy at first, I told her my realization that it wasn't as hard to get as I thought it would be decreased the value I hold in the internship).
One guy, which I had never met before, found that outrageous. He started a monologue:
"Yeah, but you know, you can complain of that because you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you f*cking capitalists. Me, I never had the right to not care about money. It's always there. I never even thought about doing an internship where you will do yours. This is why I had to work 15 years as a bartender. Where do you find the money to pay your rent? Huh? Where do you find it?"
I was paralyzed. I didn't know what to answer because I didn't expect to be attacked by someone I did not know...in my living room. I answered the truth, that I wasn't paying any rent at the moment because I was staying with a family member. That made him even angrier.
"Yeah, you got a silver spoon in your f*cking mouth, you have the luxury not to think about money, you never had to, you never will".
I started shaking. I stood up and told him to wait 2 minutes. Everyone saw I was angry. The atmosphere got tense.
I went to get my computer, came back and showed him a draft of blog post I had written. I wanted him to read the two sentences where I explain running out of money is my number one fear, way ahead of death and public speaking due to my money-tight childhood (why do you think I ended up on this forum lol).
Then he said "hey chill out, we're discussing, I am not attacking you or anything".
I was angry. I was really angry. I had let my guard down (I was in my own apartment for crying out loud) and had been attacked as a result. I walked straight into a trap that that idiot had laid for me.
It took me three hours to fall asleep that night, because I was angry at myself for having been abused so easily.
I figure that this type of abusive and passive-agressive behavior happens often where the stakes are high (politics, business).
What are the resources you guys use to deal with it? Physically I am short, 5,8, I am trying to build muscles so that I would commend a bit more respect, but otherwise, I am used to put out a mean face to instantly repel anyone that tries to mess with me (especially in the street since Brussels is a very dangerous city).
I didn't do it yesterday, and this is what I got.
Ordinarily, I am trying to be a nice guy, to help people, to give value. Some see it as weakness and try to abuse you.
How do you prevent it from happening?
PS: I talked with a friend today which was there last night, and she apologized for this guy's behavior, saying her boyfriend almost got into a fight with him last week.
How do you prevent this from happening?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The full story:
IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL POST. We are not arguing political views here, I just told the story how it happened. The rules of the forum say we cannot discuss politics. Please comply. Thank you : )
My roommate invited some friends of hers for dinner yesterday night. I joined them at the end of the dinner because I wanted to work on my projects.
When I entered the room, I said hi to everyone, and took a seat. What followed happened fast and without me opening my mouth.
My roommate started saying out loud that I had complained earlier that I valued things less when they were easy to get than when they were hard (because I got an internship in a praised political institution and while I was happy at first, I told her my realization that it wasn't as hard to get as I thought it would be decreased the value I hold in the internship).
One guy, which I had never met before, found that outrageous. He started a monologue:
"Yeah, but you know, you can complain of that because you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you f*cking capitalists. Me, I never had the right to not care about money. It's always there. I never even thought about doing an internship where you will do yours. This is why I had to work 15 years as a bartender. Where do you find the money to pay your rent? Huh? Where do you find it?"
I was paralyzed. I didn't know what to answer because I didn't expect to be attacked by someone I did not know...in my living room. I answered the truth, that I wasn't paying any rent at the moment because I was staying with a family member. That made him even angrier.
"Yeah, you got a silver spoon in your f*cking mouth, you have the luxury not to think about money, you never had to, you never will".
I started shaking. I stood up and told him to wait 2 minutes. Everyone saw I was angry. The atmosphere got tense.
I went to get my computer, came back and showed him a draft of blog post I had written. I wanted him to read the two sentences where I explain running out of money is my number one fear, way ahead of death and public speaking due to my money-tight childhood (why do you think I ended up on this forum lol).
Then he said "hey chill out, we're discussing, I am not attacking you or anything".
I was angry. I was really angry. I had let my guard down (I was in my own apartment for crying out loud) and had been attacked as a result. I walked straight into a trap that that idiot had laid for me.
It took me three hours to fall asleep that night, because I was angry at myself for having been abused so easily.
I figure that this type of abusive and passive-agressive behavior happens often where the stakes are high (politics, business).
What are the resources you guys use to deal with it? Physically I am short, 5,8, I am trying to build muscles so that I would commend a bit more respect, but otherwise, I am used to put out a mean face to instantly repel anyone that tries to mess with me (especially in the street since Brussels is a very dangerous city).
I didn't do it yesterday, and this is what I got.
Ordinarily, I am trying to be a nice guy, to help people, to give value. Some see it as weakness and try to abuse you.
How do you prevent it from happening?
PS: I talked with a friend today which was there last night, and she apologized for this guy's behavior, saying her boyfriend almost got into a fight with him last week.
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum:
Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.