Mental Health, Depression, ADD Discussion Thread

[Supa]

Wanted to share this here real quick:

Phillipson Stickey - OCD Forums

Phillipson Stickey Sufferers' lounge

www.stuckinadoorway.org

It's a huge thread on an OCD forum with quotes and advice from patients of Steven Phillipson. As the one who started the thread says in one of his posts:

All this stuff is the "Holy Grail" of OCD.

If you suffer from OCD, READ IT.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Just joined the community and this is my very first post, but I have a theory that there is a connection between mental health and wealth in that people who struggle with mental health act out at the expense of their wealth and other areas of their lives.

I'm a great example. Preventing myself from ending my own life has been a lifelong "career" for me starting in high school and it was performed at the expense of my financial life and most other areas of my life. And now here I am, 38 and 1/2 years old with over $100k in debt with an overdrawn bank account from a job offer scam to show for it.

So yeah, talking about mental health is important. And most who have mental health issues feel like me, trapped with no way out, looking frantically for answers while taking zero action because they never know if they are doing anything right. This is how I feel currently. The job offer scam was just the icing on the cake.

And it isn't like these "counselors" that I see help much. Most of the ones who I've seen are just interns who just prescribe antidepressants (which often make things worse; I was at such a low point about a decade ago that I was prescribed wellbutrin and I was getting seizures from double-dosing).

Let this be a message to anyone who is thinking of taking antidepressants: Just say no. I'm serious, antidepressants should be outlawed.

This kind of created an idea for a business called "underground counseling" that gets rid of all the jargon we see in mental health and just plain helps people who don't feel good mentally. Some of us just want the pain to go away and want good strategies to help the pain go away forever because to people like me, managing mental health is a 128 hour a week job with no vacation.

To put things in perspective, I have no diagnosed mental disorders but I have dealt with heaps of trauma: Sexually assaulted twice (and I'm a dude too, good luck finding sexual assault resources/support if you are a dude), raised in a broken home, witnessed my dad die of cancer before my very eyes about a year before turning 25. Used to cut in high school, acted out my suicidal and homicidal ideation by being on incel communities (before they became incel communities)

It's no wonder I am still stuck on the sidewalk pushing 40. I'm just lucky that I'm alive because I think about death and ending my own life way more than I would like. Granted I don't think about it daily like in my 20s, but it still comes up from time to time.

The thoughts "I just want one thing to go right today" and "I just want to make the pain stop" are pretty common for me even now, although again it isn't as bad as when I was in my 20s and early 30s.

Sorry to hear about your struggles as I hope you are finding some ways of managing it.

There's a lot of discussion around here lately about meditation and mindfulness -- and it's for good reason. This stuff can be effective at taming our overactive, overthinking headspaces.

Please check out Eckhart Tolle's or Michael Singer's work (books), a lot of our problems and suffering is caused by mental processes that can be managed, and ultimately, changed. I can say these works have changed my life and I wish I had them 20 years ago.

Thank you for sharing your story my friend.

 

[Deleted68316]

Has anybody looked into ADHS beyond the parts that are established common knowledge? My sister has looked into this, and many things she learned were new to me, but I am not sure if this is a case of desperate people coming up with theories that are too far out there.

Specifically:
The aspect that people show hyperactive behaviour is not always given when they handle the "new objective" triggers mentally. In that case they experience it as their mind being chaotic and from the outside they just appear shy and introverted and maybe rude because they can't concentrate.
Also I have never heard of executive disfunction before, but I can relate to people who are close to tears when they try to explain what the right medication has done for them, like taking a shower not being a huge deal ... or them going for a walk out of impulse, when that is something that was unimaginable before being on meds.

The books of Daniel Amen are, based on my knowledge, the best on the topic.

The following is specifically related to ADD:

Amazon.com: Healing ADD Revised Edition: The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 7 Types of ADD (Audible Audio Edition): Daniel G. Amen, John Bedford Lloyd, Penguin Audio: Audible Books & Originals

Amazon.com: Healing ADD Revised Edition: The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 7 Types of ADD (Audible Audio Edition): Daniel G. Amen, John Bedford Lloyd, Penguin Audio: Audible Books & Originals

www.amazon.com

If you are really interested I recommend you to read all of his books. They are eye opening.

Little rant: after having read those books, I realized how dangerous are the recommendations of many "gurus" out there.

Also, from Amen books, your learn that there are 7 types of ADD. Some of them don't cause people to be hyperactive and each type is cured in a different way.

Mental illness simply is, in most of the cases, a problem related to too much or too little activity in one or more parts in people brains. it's a physical injury.

This forum raised Michael Singer as the solution to all your emotional and mental problems. It's not like that. Yes, he definitely helps you to improve your life, but if you have a physical injury (in your brain) you still need something else.

Psychiatrists are the only doctors that provide "solutions" without looking at the organ itself (the brain).

Do yourself and your sister a favor and read Amen books. You will find answer to all your questions.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

What I want to say, is just that this doctor saved, literally, a lot of lives and changed for the better many others.

Good post. Sorry, I’m just not sure which doctor you’re talking about?

In any case, I would love to hear what would you recommend to someone that wants to change their brain through action. Exercise is surely helpful. What do you mean specifically?

Well, it’s very difficult to say, because it isn’t one thing and it depends what the problem is. I’ve only had issues with OCD, anxiety and depression, so those are the subjects I can talk best about.

Personality disorders, as in Ray Dalio’s son above are a different beast - hard to treat and poorly understood.

In my experience, depression is the easiest to deal with out of the 3, and most often ended up being a result of not being able to deal with the other 2. When I felt overwhelmed by anxiety, a response to that was depression. It takes time to get out of it, and the way to do it is by establishing routines and goals that are meaningful to you.

OCD you can beat - just need to learn to face what makes you afraid (not doing your compulsions), and gradual exposure to triggers to the point you desensitivize yourself.

Anxiety I still deal with it to this day. I never quite got rid of it completely. And there is a reason why I say that, because in terms of my day to day lived experience I have very few signs of anxiety. But there are some real, physical signs that are present. For example, heart rate average is 80bpm for me and blood pressure around 135/85 even though I’m a healthy young male, never drink alcohol or coffee, eat little salt, never eat junk or drink soft drinks, exercise regularly. There is nothing physically wrong with me that would explain why my heart rate and blood pressure tend towards the high side. And if you were to give me an SSRI though, my heart rate would drop to 60bpm and blood pressure 110/70.

So I have a theory that I have a constant level of background anxiety that is always there. But, I’ve learned to control it to the point where I don’t feel much of it. I used to have panic attacks 10-15 years ago regularly… haven’t had a single panic attack ever in the past 10 years almost. It really feels like I’m immune to it now somehow.

Acute anxiety -> you control that by learning to face it. More vague anxiety, you control it by learning to take back control of your attention and shift your state.

Of course things like meditation, exercise, eating healthily, having routines, having goals -> all that helps with any mental health issue.

 

[ryanbleau]

Mental health guides whole health. I lucked out, wife is a shrink, which comes with its own challenges. Learned a few things over the last decade revising her papers and every discussion post she had to write. Self checks and the ability to know how far you are off your mental and emotional baseline is key. Knowing the difference between a situation and a symptom can help you find the moment you need help.
I am not an emotional person. I am by all means damaged goods and my wife is very patient with me.
I'm autistic and had to learn how to "people" because it wasn't a hardwired skillset.
I grew up in a cult that my parents are still deeply involved in that controlled everything and treated depression as a lack of faith.
My parents were both heavily drugged for depression and my mother ended up hospitolized for most of the last 2 decades

But i understand my baseline. I know when i'm far enough off of it to ask for help. For some us we need to see our actions and motivations from a point outside of ourselves. I'm not sure if this is something that could be taught or you're just born with.
We can get addicted to success to the point where not achieving success can be soul crushing. Its a drug just like heroin or alcohol. The journey has to be as important as the wins and loses need to be dealt with but not allowed to be the end.

Mental health has always been a theme for me. If something is unhealthy maybe its time to just let it go.

 

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[• nikita •]

I struggled with anxiety for 10 years as a kid, now I have a constant low level of depression due to that. Looking into my earlier childhood maybe I have something else like ADHD too. But I'm normally incredibly irritable (can't control it, every reaction is like being burned with a match) and hypersensitive to every emotion. I flip between happy and miserable randomly.

I work out a lot, eat well, etc, take blood tests to make sure everything is fine, meditate, but my mind is still messed up. It's tiring and I just want a break. Traveling helped, can't do that now. Don't even know what to do anymore.

 

[ahti92]

It's sad that in our society we treat mental illness different than say physical illness.

If your leg is broken people can clearly see and understand and give you break but if you are mentally ill somehow your are lazy, dumb or crazy.

If your mind is broken and you feel and behave dysfunctionally then obviously something is wrong.

And not to mention that our health system thinks a pill is the solution. If you stop taking prozac and you are depressed all over then was that really the solution?

I have found that non-judgmental awareness and writing about my self has helped me tremendously in keeping a healthy mind.

I have found that our minds operate very similarly to our body. A mental illness is basically a psychological infection that has grown out of control much how like a bacterial infection can overwhelm your body and potentially kill you. The same way our bodies immune system attacks the infection is the same way I think non-judgmental awareness is our mind's own immune system.

Cause think about it, this has to be true, what is our mind's equivalent of an immune system? How can we strengthen it?

Nobody is born wanting to kill themselves. Something changed in you. The same way nobody is born wanting to go to college and be an employee, school and your socialization changed you.

Thanks for making this excellent point about non-judgemental awareness being a cure for the mind! Obsession starts with judgement, so weeding out these dangerous judgements early saves a lot of "fan cleaning" later.

 

[missinfinity98]

If you convince yourself strong enough that water is giving your whatever - it will. Most of the "energy" gained from drinking energy drinks comes from how convincing yourself that this is a fact in your reality.
Apart: What is confidence? Like normal human confidence? Simply believing - that you are worthy of respect, attention, space, etc. What is being insecure - believing stuff like "I am stupid, all I do is not good, I should be ashamed of myself" etc. It is all in your head, yet the whole world answers to it. Boom.

Also, most people buy into the PR of energy drinks also. Seeing you drinking it, they start to think about you as a person gaining more focus, higher endurance, etc. It is called projection. And what follows they act on the thoughts. With body language, thinking about you. It is mostly subconscious. It is subtle. Yet - it is true. They help make it reality. It is the same as when you assume someone is awful, so you treat them cold, and with distance, they finally start really acting negative towards you - and here your assumption is reality! Or you assume someone is a cool/nice/positive person - you smile, are welcoming - the person smiles back, opens up more, shares the more cheerful side of herself. Perhaps throws in a joke! Oh, you were right, she is cool/nice/positive

That being said.
I don't say caffeine or taurine or whatever doesn't work.

 

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[hyperreal]

Latest and most comprehensive mental health theory is that all mental disorders are all metabolic diseases.

If the brain is starved of nutrients or gets inflamed, you start having mental health symptoms.

If the theory is correct, and I strongly believe that it is, it means that Depression, Anxiety, OCD, Schizophrenia etc. are all different symptoms of the same underlying issue.

The first step to fixing your mental health is not F*cking therapy.
It's fixing your sleep, diet and exercise regime, in order to fix your brain metabolism.

And on the psychological front, the best thing you can do is start making progress in life and start being proud of your hard work. Slow but consistent progress.

Every day will be brighter and you will slowly start to understand that the life you are living is nothing less than a miracle.
You were just blind and could not see it.

100% agree. Too many people try to disconnect body and mind as if they were independent, when in reality, you need a functional brain to have a healthy mind. The brain is a part of our body in the end. Bad metabolic health can lead to imbalances in hormones in the endocrine system, and have negative impact on our brain.

Healthy body is a good base for healthy mind, but here is my theory on the mental side:

Feeling sad or depressed, as well as prolonged state of those feeling called depression, is not really a malfunction of our system but it is a feature equivalent to pain in our nervous system.

When we put our hand in fire, we feel immediate pain and remove the hand as an unconditional reflex. For mechanical damage we need an immediate response and the action is corrected without our consciousness. But what about cases when our body and external life is not aligned with what we really want? There must be some kind of feedback to get it sorted out. So you receive a signal in a form of feeling sad or depressed. It disappears when you correct your action course, align your reality with mind and you progress in a right direction.

With this being said, would you rather take a pill to damage your feedback system and painlessly lose your hand burned in fire, or rather have it functioning as it is and use it to stay complete physically and mentally?

 

[heavy_industry]

I remain convinced that if there was a way to take one of these very depressed people, and FORCE them to behave differently, their depression would end.

“Uhhh I am depressed I wanna stay in bed” — BAM cold water on their face, up we go for a run.

I couldn't agree more.
Action is the antidote to suffering.

Move forward in life. Step by step, things will get better.

Taking care of your physical health is also a solid platform to build on (see previous comment on brain metabolism). This means sleeping well, training hard, and avoiding foods that cause you brain inflammation.

 

[Supa]

I couldn't agree more.
Action is the antidote to suffering.

Move forward in life. Step by step, things will get better.

Taking care of your physical health is also a solid platform to build on (see previous comment on brain metabolism). This means sleeping well, training hard, and avoiding foods that cause you brain inflammation.

I agree to some extent. I think for many people this is true.

Others, though, some of them who may have felt a kind of hole inside of them for most of their life, could do as much exercise and eat as clean and would still feel empty once the good chemicals from exercising wane off.

There are athletes who do all these things, and on a professional level, who still get sucked into depression.

So yeah, these things help tremendously and for many they may be all they need to feel good inside. But for many others, though, helpful, they may just not be enough. As they do not target the root of their emptiness but only fill it up for a while.

I mean who can really claim that our childhoods do not leave a mark on us? Just watch the still face experiment on YouTube and imagine those children to be exposed to a still faced parent for more than a decade.

So, trying to understand where many of our troubles arose from, in order to change course and our perception is never a bad thing to do in my opinion. Add to that a purpose in life, a good exercise regimen, good sleep and a healthy diet and your inner world should look a lot sunnier.

 

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[fridge]

I agree to some extent. I think for many people this is true.

Others, though, some of them who may have felt a kind of hole inside of them for most of their life, could do as much exercise and eat as clean and would still feel empty once the good chemicals from exercising wane off.

There are athletes who do all these things, and on a professional level, who still get sucked into depression.

So yeah, these things help tremendously and for many they may be all they need to feel good inside. But for many others, though, helpful, they may just not be enough. As they do not target the root of their emptiness but only fill it up for a while.

I mean who can really claim that our childhoods do not leave a mark on us? Just watch the still face experiment on YouTube and imagine those children to be exposed to a still faced parent for more than a decade.

So, trying to understand where many of our troubles arose from, in order to change course and our perception is never a bad thing to do in my opinion. Add to that a purpose in life, a good exercise regimen, good sleep and a healthy diet and your inner world should look a lot sunnier.

You should check out the book "the body keeps the score". The book goes into deep detail on how the brain holds on to and continues to (incorrectly) respond to threats long after they've passed. It starts out with war experiences from veterans, but also includes childhood abuse and sexual assault. I think you'd enjoy it and get a good amount of information out of it.

I agree, there is a case to be made for understanding how childhood/previous events plays a role in the way someone feels now if they're doing everything "right" yet still feel like shit all the time. Mainly in people who have had extremely rough childhoods or one off extreme events, not so much with people who have had your average upbringing or normal cozy life.

 

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[Supa]

Start a meditation practice. Start 5 mins daily. The brain is like a muscle, daily practice will see incremental improvements. When I first starting meditating, I began 5 mins a day for 44 days. Then, I moved to 10 mins a day (for 44 days) and so on. If you stick with it, you'll be pleasantly surprised by the results.

Did this for a long time as well and it really does help to have a more quiet mind. It also helps to stay more in the moment.

Another approach, that helps me more than anything else, with OCD related ruminating, is to use Dr. Michael Greenberg‘s approach to stop ruminating. As well as learning what rumination actually is. His approach does not only apply to people with OCD and other anxiety disorders, but to anyone.

Here‘s a starting point Defining Rumination

Basically, he divides our mental processes into those we can and those we cannot control. And most people do not know how much of their inner experiences they actually can control.

What you can’t control: thoughts, images, emotions and urges occuring to you.

What you can control: any mental engage with the above, after they occurred to you.

So basically: a worrisome thought occurring to you? Nothing to do about that.

But any mental engagement with that, like picturing something vividly or trying to find a solution, is something that you DO, and thus something you can choose to NOT DO. Or to disengage as soon as possible.

 

[andyhaus44]

Heard from a credible source that Brain energy by Christopher Palmer is a great book. Has anyone read it?

 

[xShepherdx]

Delayed gratification and ADD..
If you have ADD, you know that if a task is rewarding and engaging you can work on it literally all day and forget to even eat...
If the task doesn't give you instant feedback, it's insanely hard to do it...
Here's a great video on it:

View: https://youtu.be/_tpB-B8BXk0

Obviously delayed gratification is a great thing to practice, it's just extra hard being ADD..
I will NEVER go on medication again for ADD..
Any ADD-inflicted Fastlaners figure this out?

Very interesting video, thanks for sharing!

In short, I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and the meds always made me feel terrible so I went without. I never took the diagnosis seriously and forgot about it for most of my life until my GF started working under a psychologist (and now close family friend) a while back and it came up.

I realized I have many of the hallmark symptoms of ADD and they have caused me a lot of pain over the years. It’s definitely been something that’s held me back (or at least made my life 10x harder than it needed to be).

I’ve been trying to get a hold of my ADD for a while now and this video basically summed up what I’ve learned on my own.

Have you implemented anything from this video into your daily routine yet?

The timers thing was an easy no-brainer for me, and I think the shortened accountability/gratification loop would be huge if implemented properly.

I’d be curious to see how a lot of this looks IRL and what’s worked/not worked for others.

 

[Guest050x2]

F.

 

[socaldude]

On one hand, I think it's all bullshit: ADHD, "time blindness," the fact that EVERYONE SUDDENLY HAS IT, etc. On the other hand, I can't ignore the symptoms I've experienced for 34 years, and the symptoms of those with it around me.

Dr Eric Berg on Youtube has a great video on this topic.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJGayLwJHXI&t=196s

 

[Guest050x2]

F

 

[socaldude]

It took me OVER A YEAR. To start having energy, having fun, and getting my brain power back to where I thought I was before I ever took the drugs…

Dang, that's what I've heard with anti-depressants, Benzos etc.

It's not to say it doesn't help a lot of people function.

It seems that our body is very sensitive to bio-chemical disequilibriums. Constantly pushing one mechanism one way or the other too high or low and too often or too little.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

@Ian Thompson @socaldude @Oso -- your discussion on mental health has been moved to the topic thread. Carry on...

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

I’ve also had OCD since birth, but I’ve conquered most of it by the time I was 24ish.

OCD therapy is almost mechanical in a way. You’re convinced that your rituals will prevent something bad from happening, so you do them. Because you do them, and nothing bad happens, your brain associates the “nothing bad” with doing the rituals. So your belief in them gets strengthened.

This can translate to other areas of your life and impact your work too… you’re worried that you may have sleepwalked and sent a bad email to a boss or client. So you check your email obsessively. You’re worried your girlfriend may be hiding something from you, so you call her excessively when she’s out on her own. You’re worried you may have mistakenly left the door unlocked so you come back to check it multiple times.

And on and on it goes.

So (1) you must become able to accept uncertainty and give up the fantasy that you can control everything. Yes, you can do everything right, and things can still go badly due to no fault of your own.

And (2) you must realise that your “rituals” aren’t how you want to live life. Nobody wants to live life worried he may have pissed off a client, left the gas on, is or will be betrayed by their girlfriend, will be robbed because they forgot the door unlocked, or will have their place burn down because they left the stove on. You really want a very different life, focus on getting the things that make you happy, rather than avoiding all obstacles. A life without obstacles and unforeseen situations isn’t what you actually want. And pursuing that is actually ruining the chances of getting the life you want.

Contrary to the false belief in your head that all the checking and rituals and compulsions will prevent a catastrophe from happening, the truth is that they won’t. And there’s little you can do to prevent the catastrophe from happening. And that’s not your job — your job is to be focused on living a life in accordance with your values.

I wrote a thread long ago about this: NOTABLE! - MINDSET - Are You Acting In Accordance With Your Values Or Your Fears?

 

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[Supa]

I've had OCD my whole life. In some pretty severe forms.

When I was a kid, it was intrusive thoughts about murdering people.

Usually people who were very close to me, like my mom. I'd cry because I felt like a psycho.

Then, it was about washing my hands essentially 100 times a day.

Then, it was about checking the stove. Checking the boiler. The door lock.

Checking behind the curtains in case somebody hid behind them. You know, to make sure.

I'd delay tying my shoelaces by 7 seconds before going out because I'd often get a "premonition" that I'd get run over by a car unless I do so.

I'd randomly duck while doing something on the computer because I'd get intrusive thoughts that a sniper was aiming at me in my apartment from a nearby rooftop.

Each and every time I thought: "This is silly as hell and there's no way that's real... But what if it is and I end up dying because I didn't duck for two seconds?" so I'd almost always do it.

Hypochondria as well and worrying about worst case scenarios.

My therapy? Rebelling against the thoughts and compulsions by doing nothing at all OR the exact opposite.

Brain: Rinse your glass three times before filling it with water or else you'll die or your girlfriend will die or a random kid in Africa will die OR the whole goddamn world will die!

Me (well, brain again): Whatever.

And that's pretty much it.

The first 24 hours were scary because I was wondering if I was, in fact, going to die in some ridiculous and unexpected way for rebelling against my "psychic" brain. Then it got easy.

I still struggle with hypochondria once or twice a year for a few days/weeks.

Haven't been depressed in a few years, however. And I haven't gotten panic attacks since I was 17 unless I smoke weed.

I used to get panic attacks every night from age 13 to 17, but that's a fun story for another time...

Man... I remember the many times I did something, like touching a light switch, and it not "feeling right". Then I did it again for a specific number of times.

There were always "good" numbers. What numbers were good changed over time but one I remember as a kid was the number 4.

Why 4? Because we were Mum, Dad, my brother and me. 4 people.

So I would touch the light switch again. 4 times. Once triggered, anything less would make me afraid of something happening to one of us.

Wait. Did that 3rd touch not feel "right enough"? Let's do it again. 4 more times.

But... that's not a 4 now. That's 8. Let's do it 4x4 times to be sure.

Wait. That 9th time didn't feel right... and on and on we go.

There were day where I stood for an hour at a light switch just touching it over and over until it would finally feel "right".

It usually never felt right. I usually stopped when it felt at least somewhat right or I was too exhausted to continue.

That's just one compulsion of many I did. Most of the physical ones like that I stopped doing when I got older.

Now it's mainly the mental ones. The Pure-O ones as they are called sometimes.

I love your approach of rebelling against your brain. I approach it in a similar way. By not doing the compulsions no matter how F*cking difficult that can be at times. By stopping to mentally engage with the intrusive thoughts in any way. And by trying to understand why these thoughts occur to me in the first place.

I'm not there completely yet, but I am tremendously better and now know, that I can live a life without OCD being a part of everyday.

 

[Simon Angel]

I think weed had a really negative impact on him. It's strange to see how it affects people differently. I grew up in a small coastal surf town near Byron Bay in Australia where it's a big part of the culture. It just made me sick so I never got into it, but my 2 closest friends that did - one is completely fine with smoking every day and the other, well in my opinion it exacerbated his mental health problems which has finally ended in some kind of psychosis and ultimately suicide.

So they found him. Sorry to hear that man.

Yeah, I don't think weed is good for some people and I'm one of them, so I quit smoking earlier this year. Psychosis aside, it caused panic attacks and I haven't had one without weed since I was 15.

 

[Supa]

This post here ^^^^ everyone on the forum needs to read it and understand it and live by it. I get far more motivated by people who act like a nice friend than dudes who pretend being a douchebag is somehow good.

This whole thread is good. Thanks guys!!!

True. I never got the idea of "tough love". Never really helped me. There are probably some people that like that and it helps them, but others for whom it's rather hurtful and harmful may even throw them back in their progress.

Best example is weight loss. Most people won't start losing weight because you told them they are fat and should eat less. There may be some that would get into a "I'll show them" attitude, but most won't. Why? Because many people who are overweight aren't that way because they enjoy eating so much. They are for various, often emotional, reasons. Maybe they feel empty inside and fill up that emptiness with some short term happy feelings from chocolate. So, telling them that they are fat will not cure that sense of inner emptiness, but rather worsen it. And what do many do, when they feel bad? They eat. So by pretending to "help them with tough love" you actually made them feel even worse than before you "helped" them.

Don't get me wrong, this is not about body positivity. Being overweight is bad for you and is nothing to be "positive" about. It's about first understanding the person, before trying to help them. When I was at my peak weight some friends regularly made me feel like shit about myself by making fun about my weight. I never once thought "wow. Thank you. I really should hit the gym tomorrow." I F*cking ate another bar of chocolate to feel a bit better. Just to feel worse a few moments later for eating it. But you know what ultimately helped me and led to me losing 30kg of weight? A kind forum member who offered to help me with my weight loss journey and not only helped me to understand how to lose weight, but also supported me through the ups and downs of it. I don't know if he's around anymore, but his kindness and knowledge and support was what actually made me want to go on this long journey.

So yeah. Use your tough love for those that want that, those that want that "I'll show them" attitude to get them motivated. But maybe try a more kinder approach with those that don't like that.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

This awesome thread Go Fastlane With ChatGPT: Full Guide + Free Prompts (Zero Excuses To Succeed) reminded me of something similar I read about a while ago: ChatGPT prompts to have AI act like your therapist.

I tried it some time ago and really liked it, so maybe it's helpful to someone who can't afford/find a good therapist. Or for pretty much everyone, who wants to get to know themselves better.

Some prompts I found online:

• "Act as someone named Ansel"​
• "Act as if you're a psychologist"​
• "Give me empathic feedback on my thoughts"​

It’s good to use ChatGPT as a therapist… except that I make mine into a hardass.

The last thing I want is my therapist being a weak-handed man who’s like “Don’t worry that you failed BD. It’s OK. You tried your best. You’ll do better next time. At least you learned something”

And yet, that’s how empathy is interpreted. I don’t want my therapist to be compassionate. The problem is that I’m too compassionate with myself. My therapist should dismantle all my bullshit and set me straight. That’s what leads to results.

I want him to say “here’s where you’re screwing up. Here’s what you need to do to fix it. Here’s why you should do it even if you don’t feel like it”

 

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[NervesOfSteel]

Can't tell you how many times my fiancée and I had this conversation about how others regard "invisible" illnesses, if mental or physical.

I mean, both of us don't like being too much in the spotlight, but still, it's quiete obvious how people react to visible vs. invisible illnesses.

My fiancée suffers from chrone's disease. Pretty much invisible for an outsider, yes, but pretty much everyone in our families knows of it. Still, you get those looks if we tell them that she can't eat too fatty because it worsens her illness. People still act kinda annoyed if she can't participate in some activity, because there are also side effects from her medication, causing back pains and a decreased immunity to sun rays.

So, tell your family why you don't want to go hiking with them, lol.

Some months ago she slipped in the shower and had to wear a leg splint and go on crutches.

Oh boy, the difference in other's attitude, once she had an visible illness for a while.

Same goes for a lot of mental illnesses.

Depression?
"Just smile and you'll feel better!"
"How about getting out of bed and just do something? Won't hurt you."
"You just don't want to work, don't you?"

OCD?
"Ha? Didn't know something was wrong. You're always so happy."

Borderline?
"Don't take it so seriously!"

PTSD?
"Come on. It's been 20 years now since that happened."
"Just try it. You'll see it's not that bad being in large crowds/loud places."

And on and on and on...

Totally relatable.

 

[DonyaSze]

This awesome thread Go Fastlane With ChatGPT: Full Guide + Free Prompts (Zero Excuses To Succeed) reminded me of something similar I read about a while ago: ChatGPT prompts to have AI act like your therapist.

I tried it some time ago and really liked it, so maybe it's helpful to someone who can't afford/find a good therapist. Or for pretty much everyone, who wants to get to know themselves better.

Some prompts I found online:

• "Act as someone named Ansel"​
• "Act as if you're a psychologist"​
• "Give me empathic feedback on my thoughts"​

I tried this just now and dumped my bad stuff on chat GPT to use it as my robot therapist and it actually really helped! Thanks for the suggestion!

 

[Black_Dragon43]

@Supa — the best resource I ever found for OCD is this one: What is I-CBT?

It is the only form of therapy that understands that OCD actually appears to be rational — in the sense that your doubting makes sense that is why you continue to persevere in it. Most other therapies claim that OCD is irrational, you know it’s irrational, but you still do the compulsions and can’t let it go.

Which just isn’t true, at least never has been in my case. I was always convinced that my doubts were real and justified.

 

[Supa]

The rash of suicides from successful people who definitely lived "Unscripted " (Kate Spade, Anthony Bourdain) definitely indicates that mental health is a huge part of the "F" in the health/fitness realm of happiness. Again, when the fitness portion (fitness: physical and mental) of the 3Fs is bad, the rest doesn't really matter.

Money and fame did not give these folks the respite they needed.

In my opinion it definitely belongs to the health/fitness F. Struggling with a mental illness can take away your happiness like a physical one can.

A lot of mental disorders and illnesses are also quiete invisible to an outsider, which a lot of chronic physical illnesses are, too. Like migraine or chrone‘s disease.

One the suicide subject, adding to the post about OCD:

OCD and Suicide
Although it has long been known that the risk of suicide is higher for people who are affected by mood disorders and schizophrenia, the relationship between anxiety disorders, such as OCD, and suicide has been less clear. However, recent studies suggest that people with OCD are 10 times more likely to commit suicide than the general population. Actively thinking about suicide (sometimes called suicidal ideation) also appears to be relatively common among people affected by OCD. (source)

Also something I wanted to add to the post on OCD, but forgot in the process of putting it together, and to end this post here on a more positive note:

Remember: obsessions are not a reflection of your personality. People with OCD are very unlikely to act on their thoughts because they find them so distressing and repugnant. There are no recorded cases of a person with OCD carrying out their obsession. (source)

 

[juba.hadjal]

When they focus on this event or past events, they magnify it by focusing on it so much. In the case with your doctors, they may be stressed, unsatisfied, not enough satisfaction out of their lives, but this is the surface factor, it is not the root cause. There are other factors unknown behind the scenes in their private lives. Usually one is reflecting on their failures and success in various relationships, how it has affected their life, how it has impacted their life, and they're usually tired of struggling, fighting, and worn out from battling with such thing as domestic violence which involves emotional, mental, financial, sexual, spiritual abuse in the environment long-term. There's some times child abuse.

I agree with you, there are too many things to deal with in our external lives. Your post is very valuable and you seem to know a lot about the topic.

Maybe the lack of purpose is also a reason for not being strong enough to handle difficulties.

Thank you for your reply