Hello there,
I’m Nicéphore¹, 46 (yes, that old), from France. Apologies for my likely rough english, I’m more used to read it than to write it.
I just finished TMF , french version, from my Slowlane comfy job (web developper, you know, all that HTML/CSS/JS stuff). So what now ? Time to pass the third gear.
The third ? From the slowlane ? Mmmh… I may need to go back in time to explain.
Before I get to the story, here are some words from me that I think are important, in this place, if you want to know about me.
I do not care about money, I do not want money for the sake of money. I want freedom. In a capitalist world, money buys freedom, so here I am.
I am not into cars. As far as I am concerned, cars are meant to go from point A to point B, period. You cannot make me dream with a Lambo. (Wait, ain’t that the reason it took me so long to get here ?)
I want a house facing the sea, and I want my childhood house back. (Unhealed trauma, that should be powerful enough to get me riding the fastlane, provided the world does not fall apart in the meantime − seems 2008 want to strike back). I want to get rid of debt, I want time to draw, to travel, to grow a garden, to test a lot of things from 3D printing, to, … Well I want lots of things.
Let’s get back to my life.
I grew up in a house near the sea. Dad was a scholar physician burning out on the slow lane, mom did not work on a regular basis. When dad decided to get burn himself elsewhere far from Home, he had to sell The House, as he could not afford to pay it, nor could he rent it as-is and no money for renovation, of course. I was 13. From this point in time, I moved every 1.5 years on average until The Crash.
I was a shy an weird boy, the kind that attracts bullying and repels girls. And a nerd. I loved computers.
I started my scholarship brilliantly, without barely doing nothing. Then I spent a year in Africa when I was 16, following dad. My first, and only experience of what was near freedom. When I went back, I slowly slipped into depression. I somewhat managed to finish high school, then graduate studies ended in a total mess. I got to Art school, admitted 1st to the entrance examination and never made it to 2nd year. I then went to university, study economics. Failed again. Then I manage to get an associate degree in computing.
At university, I met a girl that seemed interested. The only one that I seemed to please.
And before I understand what happened, she put me on the Slowlane. Married, two kids and a job web developper in a web agency. Making websites all day. Lots of websites. I was like anesthetized. But when she started asking that we buy a house, I started to feel very, very unconfortable. Then an a event happened. I had an opportunity to start a business with a (female) colleague of mine, flee the tyranny of our boss, and do what he did, but technically better, and more expensive. Guess what happened ?
Crash.
Marriage, business, family, and what was left my self-confidence and self-esteem badly wrecked in one year. All at once. No revenue, tons of debts. Bankrupt³. Then began the ballet of creditors, tax collectors, bailiffs and some vultures passing by.
I then got a choice to make. I could either kill myself, or reboot. Obviously, I chose reboot⁴. I choose to go deep, all the way through depression : I did not want to mitigate it with meds, I wanted a cure for the cause, not the symptoms⁵. So I started by the beginning : "What is wrong with me ?".
I wiped all my value system (which was mainly dad’s, btw), my whole world understanding, and started to relearn life. It took me 4 years, tons of tobacco, liters of alcohol, to get enough mental stability, and finally get a job, and get back in the sidewalk. 1st gear. (debts, remember).
Then I burned out. Back to healing/introspection for 3 years, met a girl, and get back to work again. Full Remote, better pay, debts cleared, I’m back on Slowlane start, only 20 years late. I still needed healing, I could not start a business again yet. 2nd gear.
A kid, and a house later, here I am, reading The Millionaire Fastlane . I’m 46. French retirement system will no longer exist when I’ll get the age, and I have barely no saving yet. I’ll never make it much longer in a regular job anyway.
And the puzzle is suddenly complete:
What I knew subconsciously, is now clear. I know how and why I always failed : all my businesses attempts⁶ where time tied (that CENTS thing, you know), and without scale. About the end, I was even afraid of getting new customers, as it meant I would have to spend more time making their website, and still barely no revenue.
Then I craved for years for a business idea that I could enjoy, or at least endure ("do what you love", they said), as I would have to do it all life long. Never found it, obviously. It does not have to be pleasant if you’re not doing it 9 to 5⁷. So simple. That was the missing piece.
Thank you @MJ DeMarco.
Now, It’s time to pass the 3rd gear.
¹ stolen from Nicéphore Niépce, inventor of photography. Kinda french Thomas Edison.
² Yes, this is France, we do have manual gearboxes in almost every car.
³ There is no such thing as personal bankruptcy in France. You cannot wipe professional debts, especially social security ones.
⁴ Thanks to my kids. I could not leave them with no dad.
⁵ Read that somewhere, recently…
⁶ There were 2 more attempts I did not mention before the one that crashed.
⁷ Hell, I’ve been doing things I don’t like for all my professional life!
I’m Nicéphore¹, 46 (yes, that old), from France. Apologies for my likely rough english, I’m more used to read it than to write it.
I just finished TMF , french version, from my Slowlane comfy job (web developper, you know, all that HTML/CSS/JS stuff). So what now ? Time to pass the third gear.
The third ? From the slowlane ? Mmmh… I may need to go back in time to explain.
Before I get to the story, here are some words from me that I think are important, in this place, if you want to know about me.
I do not care about money, I do not want money for the sake of money. I want freedom. In a capitalist world, money buys freedom, so here I am.
I am not into cars. As far as I am concerned, cars are meant to go from point A to point B, period. You cannot make me dream with a Lambo. (Wait, ain’t that the reason it took me so long to get here ?)
I want a house facing the sea, and I want my childhood house back. (Unhealed trauma, that should be powerful enough to get me riding the fastlane, provided the world does not fall apart in the meantime − seems 2008 want to strike back). I want to get rid of debt, I want time to draw, to travel, to grow a garden, to test a lot of things from 3D printing, to, … Well I want lots of things.
Let’s get back to my life.
I grew up in a house near the sea. Dad was a scholar physician burning out on the slow lane, mom did not work on a regular basis. When dad decided to get burn himself elsewhere far from Home, he had to sell The House, as he could not afford to pay it, nor could he rent it as-is and no money for renovation, of course. I was 13. From this point in time, I moved every 1.5 years on average until The Crash.
I was a shy an weird boy, the kind that attracts bullying and repels girls. And a nerd. I loved computers.
I started my scholarship brilliantly, without barely doing nothing. Then I spent a year in Africa when I was 16, following dad. My first, and only experience of what was near freedom. When I went back, I slowly slipped into depression. I somewhat managed to finish high school, then graduate studies ended in a total mess. I got to Art school, admitted 1st to the entrance examination and never made it to 2nd year. I then went to university, study economics. Failed again. Then I manage to get an associate degree in computing.
At university, I met a girl that seemed interested. The only one that I seemed to please.
And before I understand what happened, she put me on the Slowlane. Married, two kids and a job web developper in a web agency. Making websites all day. Lots of websites. I was like anesthetized. But when she started asking that we buy a house, I started to feel very, very unconfortable. Then an a event happened. I had an opportunity to start a business with a (female) colleague of mine, flee the tyranny of our boss, and do what he did, but technically better, and more expensive. Guess what happened ?
Crash.
Marriage, business, family, and what was left my self-confidence and self-esteem badly wrecked in one year. All at once. No revenue, tons of debts. Bankrupt³. Then began the ballet of creditors, tax collectors, bailiffs and some vultures passing by.
I then got a choice to make. I could either kill myself, or reboot. Obviously, I chose reboot⁴. I choose to go deep, all the way through depression : I did not want to mitigate it with meds, I wanted a cure for the cause, not the symptoms⁵. So I started by the beginning : "What is wrong with me ?".
I wiped all my value system (which was mainly dad’s, btw), my whole world understanding, and started to relearn life. It took me 4 years, tons of tobacco, liters of alcohol, to get enough mental stability, and finally get a job, and get back in the sidewalk. 1st gear. (debts, remember).
Then I burned out. Back to healing/introspection for 3 years, met a girl, and get back to work again. Full Remote, better pay, debts cleared, I’m back on Slowlane start, only 20 years late. I still needed healing, I could not start a business again yet. 2nd gear.
A kid, and a house later, here I am, reading The Millionaire Fastlane . I’m 46. French retirement system will no longer exist when I’ll get the age, and I have barely no saving yet. I’ll never make it much longer in a regular job anyway.
And the puzzle is suddenly complete:
What I knew subconsciously, is now clear. I know how and why I always failed : all my businesses attempts⁶ where time tied (that CENTS thing, you know), and without scale. About the end, I was even afraid of getting new customers, as it meant I would have to spend more time making their website, and still barely no revenue.
Then I craved for years for a business idea that I could enjoy, or at least endure ("do what you love", they said), as I would have to do it all life long. Never found it, obviously. It does not have to be pleasant if you’re not doing it 9 to 5⁷. So simple. That was the missing piece.
Thank you @MJ DeMarco.
Now, It’s time to pass the 3rd gear.
¹ stolen from Nicéphore Niépce, inventor of photography. Kinda french Thomas Edison.
² Yes, this is France, we do have manual gearboxes in almost every car.
³ There is no such thing as personal bankruptcy in France. You cannot wipe professional debts, especially social security ones.
⁴ Thanks to my kids. I could not leave them with no dad.
⁵ Read that somewhere, recently…
⁶ There were 2 more attempts I did not mention before the one that crashed.
⁷ Hell, I’ve been doing things I don’t like for all my professional life!
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum:
Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.
Last edited:
