Asking questions is crucial to so many things in life.
Learning how to ask productive questions takes practice.
I'm no expert, but here are some things I've learned and continue to practice.
Things to Note
Asking for Advice
When asking for advice, avoid:
Asking About Something You Disagree With
When you're curious about someone else's views or actions:
Asking for Information to Solve a Tangible Problem
It's better to:
When Receiving Answers
Learning how to ask productive questions takes practice.
I'm no expert, but here are some things I've learned and continue to practice.
Things to Note
- I made this post with a virtual setting in mind (i.e., the forum).
- I tried to categorize these tips, but many points can be applied to several categories.
- If anyone has anything to add, please do!
Asking for Advice
When asking for advice, avoid:
- asking others to solve your problem.
- For example, "Should I take this job?" is asking someone else to do emotional and mental labor for you. Weighing pros and cons and making a decision is often hard. But, it's your situation, therefore your responsibility to do the emotional and mental work to make a decision.
- introducing bias.
- Keep your questions neutral. Avoid questions that reflect what you want to hear. For example, "Do you agree that this sounds like a good job?" makes the person you're asking feel that you're only asking for validation that it is a good job, and not that you're asking for their true opinion.
- asking "yes/no" questions when you should be asking open-ended questions.
- "Yes/no" questions have their time and place. Usually these kinds of questions are best suited as follow up questions to solidify your understanding. "Is this a good job?" is a "yes/no" question. And it's a bad question. First, the person you're asking is going to start expending a ton of emotional and mental energy trying to figure out what a "good" job means to you and what it means to them. Second, you come off as expecting a "yes/no" answer and as though you're not looking for a discussion on the topic.
- asking questions that make the people you're asking ask you questions to clarify what you're asking and why.
Asking About Something You Disagree With
When you're curious about someone else's views or actions:
- start with something positive. "Wow, that was dumb. Why didn't you do it this way?" is going to trigger most people to become defensive, and the conversation will most likely not be productive.
- seek understanding.
Asking for Information to Solve a Tangible Problem
It's better to:
- have already tried at least once to solve the problem on your own.
- ask focused questions. For example, "How do I make a website?" is too broad (and it indicates that you haven't taken much action towards solving the problem on your own first).
- provide background. Explain why you're asking the question and explain the steps you've taken and the reason(s) for needing help.
- ask questions that inspire people to analyze possibilities.
When Receiving Answers
- If someone has taken the time to answer you or chat with you, thank them.
- Keep an open mind.
- Ask follow up questions if appropriate or needed.
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