Okay I had issues with this a while back and maybe some remember this but I decided to run my marriage like a business. You need to have clear cut
goals, things that you both need to achieve to get there, and you both need equal time to do things on your own. Lay this out, one bullet point at a time. Make sure it is fair and equal and have it in writing on a piece of paper or on google docs or something. You both have to know what the other one WANTS and what their expectations are of you as a human being. Come to a decision that is agreeable before hand. This could take days or even weeks to determine by working through disagreements. But you need to be able to establish some level of give and take and if she is the only one taking then you can call her out on it because the math doesn't work out on paper.
Use Google Calendar, and set times right down to 15 minute friggin' segments man and make sure you are giving to the relationship just as much as she is. Then when you have scheduled in your blocks to work on a fastlane business, then you work your a$$ off during that time, and when you get to the point where you are supposed to be spending time with her, shut off your fastlane biz thoughts, and go 100% in on her and work hard on establishing a good relationship with her.
The issue is more about allocating time properly and making sure it's fair. you want to feel loved and needed and you want her undivided attention when you are with her, and she wants the same from you. Schedule that son of a bitch into google calendar, and I swear on my mother's grave if you can stick to schedules you'll see an improvement in all aspects of your life if you can schedule them in. Don't feel stupid about it, just make room for everthing that is important to you.
You should see my google calendar sometime. It's f*cked up man. I have 15 minute blocks where i can sit down with my wife or take a quick walk around the block without kids so we can talk. Put in the time however you can. It's worth sticking it out and working on the relationship and it's worth going after your
goals. You shouldn't have to give up one for the other, just learn to work it into your life.
Good luck and feel free to contact me anytime and I can help when I can.