Admitting there's a problem is the first step.

[thedelavega]

Not going to beat you down haha. But damn..We are both from the same area...

You Woke up on Sunday and did what? Posted here? I went into a shop on West Chester Pike and took a $500 check from a lady who wanted to do a deal with me. I can make money on her ten times over now.

Didn't have a website. Didn't have the product in hand. Actually, I'm drop shipping it then repackaging. Easy.

And that's not even my current biz. I just wanted to make money...

So think if it this way...locally, you are completing against people like me. People who will wake up at 5am and kick your a$$. And there are people out there kicking my a$$. Trust me.

Now you have to Keep up...

This comment hit me very hard. Thank you for posting

 

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[Lathan]

@IAmTheJeff last seen Sept. 8, 2014.

The day he found out a dolphin stole his money. (Unfortunately)

 

[Vigilante]

The day he found out a dolphin stole his money. (Unfortunately)

What?

I never got a confirmation the guy made the donation by the way. He said twice he mailed me a donation receipt. I never got it and the guy went MIA. My guess is he took what I sent him for the shelter and disappeared. Didn't reply to the last email I sent him.

I lost a bit more faith in humanity at that time.

 

[Vigilante]

The day he found out a dolphin stole his money. (Unfortunately)

Details?

 

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[DeletedUser394]

What?

I never got a confirmation the guy made the donation by the way. He said twice he mailed me a donation receipt. I never got it and the guy went MIA. My guess is he took what I sent him for the shelter and disappeared. Didn't reply to the last email I sent him.

I lost a bit more faith in humanity at that time.

LOL this thread pisses me off so much.

Didn't another member end up having to drive him to make the donation? So unless the other person was in on it, I think the donation was made. OP was just a flake. I'll look back into the thread.

Edit: It was @CarrieW

 

[Vigilante]

The last time he was seen here was one week after I emailed him to tell him that I never got the supposing second copy of the donation receipt that he supposedly mailed me twice.

 

[IceCreamKid]

I lost a bit more faith in humanity at that time.

Sigh....humanity. I sent $100 PayPal to another forum member here because he was raising money for a sick kid. I'm pretty sure the guy got thousands of dollars total.

He said he would post pics, never did. He said he would post the obituary, never did. Then he disappeared. Lesson learned.

I may have found a pic of the sick kid taken shortly before he got sick. This is him with his girlfriend on a hiking trip.

 

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[Vigilante]

@CarrieW did the donation happen? Not your issue if it didn't (and no reflection on you) but I am curious as I suspect besides the OP, the biggest loser here was the women and children that should have been the recipients of the donation.

And, for the record, I also hope that no bad trauma has befallen the OP. However, I suspect that is not the culprit here.

And ICK, I share your opinion of the other situation. It has been discussed at length behind the scenes. That was a weird sequence of events.

These events can't make us (as a group) stop giving. We just need to be in better control of the outcomes, and stop unvetted giving to ensure the money gets to the right places.

 

[mt_myke]

Bummer about OP. I wish the "guns blazing" type posters would finish their threads, even if they failed. As an engineer I find you can learn much more about a system when it fails than when it's operating normally...and a system is a set of processes and events.

 

[Autarkeia]

This thread makes me so angry.

I was so excited in the beginning because I could see some similarities between myself and IAmTheJeff. I wanted to see him pull through so badly. As I progressed through the thread, I honestly started to hate him. IAmTheJeff is the human form of the part inside me which I want to squash out of existence.

Fortunately I can say that in the past I have actually taken tangible action. I have tried things and failed. I have succeeded at things but walked away when I realized it wasn't sustainable. My confidence and motivation comes in waves but I know I'll make it one of these days. Enough about me.

Please don't let this guy bring you down. I have so much respect for you ICK, Vigilante, MJ, Zen (I still havent figured out what happened to zen?), the rest of you who share so much value. Don't let this guy ruin it for the good people on this forum. I'm not super active with posting, but I'm watching a lot.

This guy wasted your time, the good people here would never do that.

 

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[Vigilante]

Tenacity is the hallmark of most people who eventually make it to the peak of the mountain.

synonyms: persistence, determination, perseverance, doggedness, strength of purpose, tirelessness, indefatigability, resolution, resoluteness, resolve, firmness, patience, purposefulness, staunchness, steadfastness, staying power, endurance, stamina, stubbornness, intransigence, obstinacy, obduracy, pertinacity

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Wow, I had no idea this was not really verified. That is the low of lows, to take a donation meant for women and children. I'm going to assume that we aren't getting the full story, hopefully @CarrieW can chime in, however, when someone abruptly disappears immediately after a large sum of money exchanges, there's usually a conclusion you can draw there... just sayin'.

 

[FastNAwesome]

I lost a bit more faith in humanity at that time.

For what it's worth, your noble gesture inspired me (and probably many others) to become more aware and giving.

Even when the money is tight, there are other ways to help.

Like @IceCreamKid I've sent some $$. In return I received
a valuable consulting call, without even insisting on it,
and I like to believe that the story is true, and that the forum member
might have just been busy.

But whatever it is - it is.

These events can't make us (as a group) stop giving. We just need to be in better control of the outcomes, and stop unvetted giving to ensure the money gets to the right places.

 

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[vinylawesome]

Doveryai No Proveryai

AKA

Trust, But Verify

 

[RogueInnovation]

I got the impression he had a lot of stress from his wife and kids, and hit rock bottom, and was disillusioned.

Some guy's bubbles just pop easier than others.

Its weird but I think admitting you have a problem can just lead to quitting behaviour, same as admitting you are overweight can lead you to burning out in gym rather than sticking in there with a consistent regime and good eating habits.

There are always going to be highs and lows, and no matter how tough it gets you gotta keep at least one foot in the game.

Lesson, tread water, don't make huge gestures.


As for Vig
I think Carrie and Jeff did that payment thing together
My bet is, he just slacked with reciepts (which isn't good at all)

Bah! Frustrating sh#t!
I hate when people quit.
He should have got that reciept to you.
Thats sh#tty.

Anyways, I don't think you should lose faith in humanity, I think the payment got there, and it was awesome of you to send it, AND to give someone a chance (much respect).
I have a lot more understanding of what you did now than before, so I get how you feel.

I dunno man,
I respect what you did,
And not all of us around during this thread quit.
Know that your generousity was not unheard.

 

[Vigilante]

Not in if for the accolades. I just want to know that the right people got what they needed.

Carrie will be around eventually, and hopefully will confirm that she helped make it happen. She was willing to go above and beyond to be part of the solution.

And I hope eventually the Jack Edwards situation is validated as well, so people know the money they donated went where it was supposed to go. I am less optimistic on that one, but hoping for the best for all involved.

A few years back, we all banded together and made a donation to a children's hospital for cancer kids. @Jill made it happen, and bought toys and gifts for the kids. Some times, things work the way they are supposed to... and literally on that one overnight the forum raised hundreds of dollars to benefit kids they will never meet.

At the end of the day, do what you can do. Pay it forward. Life can be lived the most richly in little, anonymous moments where you change someone's life for a second, a minute, and hour, a day, or permanently.

When it's time for you to hang up your cleats for the last time, part of your legacy hopefully will be that you lived large and made a difference. The difference can literally be one person at a time.

 

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[AlterJoule]

http://teespring.com/DonationDude

 

[RogueInnovation]

At the end of the day, do what you can do. Pay it forward. Life can be lived the most richly in little, anonymous moments where you change someone's life for a second, a minute, and hour, a day, or permanently.

Here here

Carrie will be around eventually, and hopefully will confirm that she helped make it happen. She was willing to go above and beyond to be part of the solution.

And I hope eventually the Jack Edwards situation is validated as well, so people know the money they donated went where it was supposed to go.

Agreed

Not in if for the accolades. I just want to know that the right people got what they needed

Spot on


You know, if you really pull back from this thread and look at it from a distance it really shows you, just what it REALLY takes to not pop a fuse and keep the lights on.
You gotta give, and you gotta stay in there with the details, with the calling people back, the sending confirmations, meeting promises always.

You can't just SAY it, you have to take it on and stick with it.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Admitting there's a problem is the first step.

From the looks of it, it was the last step as well.

 

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[CarrieW]

Yes it did happen. He took pics of the form the lady inside gave us. And of the outside of the building. Not sure why he didn't post them... I had contact with him for a short time after then but I tried to text him a few weeks ago and got no response. Catching up on thread now

 

[CarrieW]

I don't know exactly what you guys gave him to donate. I came in in the middle of it. I drove him to that place and dropped off a small box of items (pm me vig I will tell you the only item I remember) if there was any cash I did not see it. I am pretty sure he put gas in my car on the way home. I met him again a few days later at a meet up with another forum member at a pizza place in Levittown pa (where I was visiting family) I hope this helps clear up at least that part.
Sorry it took a bit to see this. Tapatalk is wonky lol

 

[Vigilante]

Sounds like maybe only part of the stuff was delivered… And likely that's the reason for the no receipts. Oh well… Live and learn. Maybe they got it all. I am glad you were there to facilitate whatever made its way to the shelter. You stepped in to try to help solve a problem that wasn't created by you. It's this type of pay it forward attitude that creates hope. Good job Carrie.

 

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[CarrieW]

Thanks! I believe in karma and doing good things to bring good things

 

[randomnumber314]

I saw a book in the airport today titled something like, "Why you can't motivate other people." I was going to grab it, but it sounded too depressing. I guess, like this thread, we all have to recognize that often the person needs to be kicked to the curb to figure out they're a shitbag themselves. Too bad, if I had to choose who was in my corner, Vig and most other forum members are people I'd try to impress.

 

[Vigilante]

I hope the OP is ok.

 

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[RogueInnovation]

I think the real secret here is openess. If you can endure the process of being open, the little gremlins that tell you to close up get beaten back until it becomes a habit and you can freely admit flaws without cloistering up.

You've gotta become 100% genuine.

For example, I'll admit, I am still at the startup phase on all my projects.

Its not so much that I need to say that to prove myself, I say it to indeed classify myself in that stage of my development. I'm not a worse person for being at that stage (I'm a careful person), but I don't want to be there forever.

When the admission is genuine, I think there can be no question you will move on when you need to. But if its said because you THINK you have to be this way or that way, it'll burn you out.


I'm sure he tried, but he kept failing and couldn't keep up the image that drove his motivation (an image of him being close if he just did the work).
I think everyone starts out with a grimey failure phase, where you just are stuck in quicksand.
To get out of that swamp of failure you really have to hold your nerve over a long time (not short bursts), so that you have time to build in yourself real foundations.

Its ok to be in the quicksand phase, but realise why people are harsh, its a scary time, where you need to keep your guard up, or you might get swallowed by what you are fighting in your own head.
Its a long painful process that no one envies or wants to feel again, so its up to you and you alone to do a decent job of holding your own and coming out the other side.

Sure, admit your position, but do not SUBMIT to your place or struggle.
Lift yourself up everytime you burn out, come back, and believe you can come through, FOR REAL.

Hope the OP is ok.

Stick in there people.

 

[Vigilante]

I think where most fail is in tenacity in what MJ coined as the "desert of desertion."

It's common for us as entrepreneurs to stay up all night penning our Jerry McGuire manifesto of "the things we think and do not say."

We get super excited about a new idea. Print the business cards, get the Fiverr logo, and spend a few weeks working like mad on the new "business."

Then life creeps back in. It becomes exhausting to work a 9-5, and then work on your business from 7-2AM and start the cycle over again.

It works for a few weeks, as adrenaline and dreams about getting rich provide the fuel.

But a month in... and no money coming in... and more work in front of you... and your favorite sports team is on, and your girlfriend points out that you're not making any money (after a whole thirty days) and maybe the dog needs to go to the vet, and Christmas is coming up, and ... and... and...

and people fade to gray.

What if it takes you a year? What if it takes you four years? What if you crash and burn? Twice? Three times? While everyone keeps second guessing you.

When I went to "Beer and Pancakes" a few years ago, my wife, who is an amazing entrepreneurial wife, didn't get it.

She does now.

Point being... the grind has different durations.

There's an entrepreneur on the forum @TedM that is grinding on his business. It didn't happen in a week. It didn't happen in a month. It didn't turn into gold in his first year. Should he QUIT? Only if he wants to settle back into building someone else's dream.

The OP sent me an email at one point, indicating he was throwing in the towel on his current venture... the one where he told me he had reached the success milestone that would trigger my donation. I told him beforehand that he, and only he, would be able to judge his progress. He told me he was meeting his milestones, and that I should make the honorary donation that was the "prize." Then, he said he was scrapping it, and moving in another direction. He also at that time was getting mentored by a poster ---that is no longer on the forum. That may also be why he went MIA. Several of them did at that window of time.

In any case, my point is... we all have 100 ideas. I have followed several of mine through to success, and a few to epic failure. However, you might never know how close you are to the break through if you give in and give up when you get bored, tired, lonely, frustrated, or come up with any of the other 1,000 reasons to play through it.

So it brings up the obvious question. How do you know when it is time to throw in the towel on something?

 

[Vigilante]

 

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[IceCreamKid]

How do you know when it is time to throw in the towel on something?

My guess is that it's time to throw in the towel when you have exhausted every possible option that you can think of. In other words, test everything and fail fast until you find something that works.

He also at that time was getting mentored by a poster ---that is no longer on the forum. That may also be why he went MIA.

He parted ways with that particular mentor when the BS detector started beeping.

 

[RogueInnovation]

So it brings up the obvious question. How do you know when it is time to throw in the towel on something?

When it comes to our TIME and our energy, you must push the limit (sustainably but with enough gumption to prove you gave it a great chance).
Try to burn away the infection of failure with the fire of progress, until the context has changed by pure nerves of steel.
But, as it falls flat (in the real world) its prudent to stop funding failures like a dimmer switch on a light, and prepare yourself to fund the most promising next step.

Adaption is necessary, because if you stay on one choice too long, whether to quit, or to succeed no matter the cost, unwillingness to change will crush your will to thrive an break through your doubts.

Some people are bunny rabits(always seeking new ways), others are great oak trees(always hammering away at the basics).
Neither way is superior, you have to mix and match a little to get the right balance for yourself.

And if you continue to fail, you really just gotta ask yourself, why your vision is out of line with reality, and try to be robust in unearthing a new, patient and intruiging solution.

Progress doesn't ever come cheap.
You need to develop a sense for when its on, and when its unresponsive.


My response to this is... I would check for signs of life in my next direction.
If the path I am going on isn't moving or doing anything, I would seriously not want to walk down that path but think of another.


When you are first starting, you are OPTIMISTIC TO A FAULT and cynical of all avenues at your disposal. You have to flip this on its head, kill your darlings and marry your opportunities.
And really weigh your choices and how much KICK they have.

Choose the path for yourself that just screams out to you that you will make an impact.
And be smart enough to recognise when its just your big fat ego talking.

In short, I have no exact answer for that.